The world if I owned the ISP
ISP Rule of Thumb #4: Encourage the Creative Minds of Your Work Force.
(agent): Thank you for calling Gene ISP, my name is slacker Laz. E how may I ignore you?
(customer): Yeah, this Dum Bass, my bloomin internet just up and quit on me, you guys got problems on your network.?
(agent): I am afraid that is impossible sir.
(customer): Impossible? Then explain why I haven't been able to connect for the last 15.3678 seconds!!
(agent): That would be caused by spontaneous wetware malfunction. Happens to Windows Software all the time.
(customer): I've never heard of.........
(agent): Nonesense! It's the most common error on the internet besides ID10T and Malfuntion Of Relaxed Online Node errors. (Moron's for short).
(customer): But...but...........................................
(agent): I am sorry sir, but to fix this problem you are going to need to consult your Modem's instruction manual under the term "Uninstall". Thank you and have a good day.
In an unrelated note, the nightly game of Quake Tournament enjoyed an unsurpassed amount of bandwidth that night due to the fact that no one seemed to want to go online..........