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     You know, fiction often mirrors reality. Give proof? OK, I will!

     Some of you serious strategy gamers may know a Warcraft-esque game known as Command and Conquer. In it, you either play the just and chaste Global Defense Initiative, or the sicko terrorist cult, The Brotherhood of Nod (who, incidentally, have all the cool sadistic weaponry). As this story which takes place in the near future goes, these two armies clash for possession of tiberium, this funny green crystal stuff growing from the ground. Apparently, this junk jewellry has replaced gold as the world's currency.

     Anyway, in your diverse arsenal, you have the ability to "build", or hire, ENGINEERS. That's right, along with bazookas and Hummers, you can have as many obnoxious Engineers as you want to strike fear in the hearts of your enemies. And this is where fiction mirrors reality:

Reality	Game
Engineers have high paying salaries.	Engineers, costing $500, are the most expensive people to "make".
Engineers are efficient, apply their knowledge to solve problems on the fly.	Engineers quickly take over enemy buildings, depriving your foe of essential resources and giving you access to their money and weapons.
Time honoured symbols of Engineering are hardhats, red overalls and tools.	Engineers wear hardhats, red overalls and toolboxes. The only thing missing are the Fireball bandanas.

     This chart also applies to Red Alert, C&C's sequel. Other faculties are also represented, more or less, in their glory as follows:

Nat.Sci.: as a demented doctor, who's neck you have to save - twice! And for some reason, they won't let any of my wounded men into their hospitals.

Phys.Sci./Comp.Sci.: as technicians. They are byproducts, laid off personnel when you sell and dismantle buildings. When told to attack, they throw rocks at people for half a minute, then play hooky. Useful as live bait.

Kinesiologists: as machinegunners. They run 'real good' and when you least expect it, are doing jumping jacks and pushups in the war zone.

Commies: as nobody! Yes, in the future, the collection of all finances and funds are AUTOMATED.

Artsies: as civilians. They look like technicians, but do even less. Usually seen wearing neon-coloured, highly visible shirts, they generally

a) stand around picking their noses,

b) run around, arms flailing, like headless chickens,

c) flee, arms flailing, right into the wheel wells of enemy tanks, or

d) go beserk and attack the mini-gunners/kinesiologists.

     Unfortunately, in later missions, your enemy also can build Engineers, who you must sadly kill before they take over your base. But that's okay; I just pretend they're Engineers from Queen's. ERTW!