You enter the lower level of the tower. The area is generously decorated with funny, friendly shades of colour. The walls remind you of
melted strawberry ice cream. A sign is written in red:
What's a muse? A Muse was one of the nine Greek/Roman (Romans
plagarized off the Greeks all the time) goddesses who presided over learning
and the arts. These gals were named Calliope, Clio, Erato, Euterpe,
Melpomene, Polyhymnia, Terpsichore, Thalia and Urania.
It is said Muses are responsible for the inspiration of playwrights, musicians, artists and other
Bachelor of Arts-types. For example, Shakespeare's narrator tried to summon a Muse in the prologue of Henry V. MUSE also means Multi-User Simulated Environment,
but this page has nothing to do with that. What this page has a lot off are
inspiring quips, thanks to Thalia, the Muse of comedy.
Apparently, some Yankees on Memorial Day celebrate by hunting wild turkeys. Odd, you may say, do turkeys fly? Apparently not, the hunters reply,
but they run really fast! I mean, how low can you go from shooting fat, defenceless birds??? And of course, they probably chase these
birds down with Jeeps or something.
April, 1998
My bud Justin, after watching the model show scene in Red Corner: "I'm going to China!!"
After Tomorrow Never Dies Saigon scene: "I'm going to Vietnam!!"
After The Big Hit: "China Chow!! YEAH!!"
September, 1997
Our answering machine message: (by the Doors) "Hello, I love you, won't you tell me your name"
July, 1997
I don't like eating Jello. I don't know why, but whenever I'm eating it the slogan "there's always room for Jello"
plays in my head and I feel cheated. Aside: Jello is made from gelatin, just like fingernails.
The funniest thing seen this week: a blind woman trying to light up her cigarette. You just have to admire addictions.
May, 1997
The famous question of the 1980's was "Who shot J.R.?" The famous question of the 1990's is "Is there gold at the Bre-X site?"
April, 1997
The Canadian prairies now has a new Doppler radar warning system, designed to give our friends out west up to twenty minutes warning of tornadoes and other non-fun acts of God. However, as their spokesperson said, "The new system gives warnings twenty minutes earlier than current systems." I guess current systems are of the "Hey Bob! Run for cover, that twister's blowin' our way!" variety.
Overheard on a bike ride with my friend Justin:
Me (riding behind Justin): "You're too slow!"
Justin: "What? I'm riding as fast as you."
"I'm riding without hands, Justin."
Have a good summer, everybody.
March, 1997
Am I a harbinger??? The last time I went back to Toronto, a train carrying toxic chemicals derailed in Hamilton. This time, during my monthly haitus away from Hamilton, a building blew up! Then there was the mob hit. And the huge recycling plant blaze. Nice city, Hamilton...
November, 1996
Today, I was riding my bike, and some squirrel cut me off and ran me off the road! When I mentioned this to my friend, she replied, "It's just one of those days, huh?"
October, 1996
I'm finally getting ticked off by my drafting course (Engineering 1C4). I said one day, "Screw the engineering course! I don't need it to be an Engineer!" I am also very happy that I am a short walk to the city hospital, which resides on campus. I am also a short walk from McMaster's nuclear reactor, which has a cooling system that looks like Paul Bunyan's jacuzzi. Well, life isn't perfect.
September, 1996
Ah, just enjoying myself in McMaster University, learning Engineering and Mgt. Lots of obnoxious fun, most of it involving screaming so loud, people in the Arts Quad go "What the HELL was that?!?" Some great ancedotes overheard during frosh week: These hotdog buns were obviously not designed by an Engineer, grumbled one frosh rep turned cook. "I drink 12 beers and peed 6 times!" exclaimed some inebriated guy proudly. So remember, we're Engineers, we drink beer to get drunk and disoriented but we don't know why because we're Engineering frosh. Find out what I'm eating for lunch today!
August, 1996
I discovered you can talk like Louis Armstrong (Mr. "It's A Wonderful World") when your mouth is full of rice.
July, 1996
"I feel Romulan today," my friend said, when I noted he let his hair down. "The US Olympic team is on steroids, even the synchronized swimmers!!", said an anonymous BBSer.
Today is Canada Day. Ironically, this is also Hong Kong Day, the date when the British Pacific colony of Hong Kong, called the "pimple on the bum of China" by the late Chairman Mao, is returned to China next year. Bummer.
June, 1996
"This must be what hell is like. Hot and bad music." I was sitting in our family car in the front of a supermarket. It was 30 degrees C/88 degrees F outside and Dan Hill was playing on the radio. (Yeah, it's short, but it was exam week, and I was praying to God for strength and guidance, not funny things to say.)
May, 1996
Please, ladies: don't wear perfume. Men don't care much for the smell of soap. Not only that, but wearing perfume means you are unintentionally discriminating against the more allergic/anaphalactic of the opposite sex. I'm saying this because today I had to stand behind a lady at a subway ticket booth who had more makeup than Tim Curry in The Rocky Horror Picture Show and wore so much perfume she smelled like a giant car freshener. It was...unpleasant. And I'm not allergic to perfume. This goes for us guys and cologne, too. Women don't care much for the smell of sweat, rum, rhinos or whatever cologne is supposed to make us smell like.
Well, that's enough strangeness for now, don't you think? Come back soon, and try visiting the
more interesting pages in HoTaMaLe!
"In the beginning, the Universe was created. This has made a lot of
people angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move."
--Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
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June, 1998
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