Carrie is in her office on the computer. Arthur comes in.

Arthur: Well darling, I'm off for my walk.
Carrie: Oh, Dad. You know what? You might want to call Holly and cancel. The weather man said there is a big snow storm coming.
Arthur: They always say that. That's how they get their bonus money.
Carrie: I don't think that, never mind.
Arthur: What's different about this room?
Carrie: Uh, everything. We remodeled, remember?
Arthur: That's right. You've turned your office into a palace. Meanwhile, down in the basement, I can't even get a forty watt bulb to see the rats sneaking up on me.
Carrie: Well, you know what Dad? I am going shopping. I will get you a new light bulb. Give you a fighting chance. Now I'm getting myself an Ipod, so you can have my CD player.
Arthur: Wonderful. Another one of your obsolete hand me downs. I'll put it next to my Beta Max and my epilady.

Carrie is at the Queens Center shopping, and cuts in front of a pregnant woman at the checkout.

Carrie: Ahem. Oh, I'm sorry, were you? What? She's not that far along. Hello.
Carmen: Hi.

The cashier's cell phone rings.

Carmen: Hello? Ah, Roberto. I'm working. I can't talk right now. What? But you said that it wouldn't be a problem. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Carrie: Excuse me. Kind of in a hurry. You know, this whole blizzard thing happening. You know.
Carmen: OK. Go ahead. I'm listening. Ma'am, please?
Carrie: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Just thought I'd give you a little nudge there.
Carmen: OK. Roberto. What about your sister? Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Carrie: I'm sorry. I don't think the Ipod. I don't think it beeped.
Carmen: What? No, Roberto, hold on. Ma'am, could you please just let me do my job?
Carrie: Oki doke.

Doug is driving his truck in the crazy blizzard weather.

Doug: Zone one to base, zone one to base?
O'Boyle: What, Heffernan?
Doug: Yeah, the snow, it doesn't look like it's stopping.
O'Boyle: What's your location?
Doug: Not sure. Could be on uh, Casino Boulevard, could be on some guy's front lawn. Officially requesting permission for a 317.
O'Boyle: Heffernan, you're not abandoning your truck.
Doug: Then I'm requesting permission for a 318.
O'Boyle: You're not opening your packages and eating the contents either. Look, you know the deal. We can't shut it down till FedEx shuts it down, and those showboaters are still out there delivering.
Doug: Yes sir.

Doug makes his next delivery. He rings the doorbell.

Philip: Honey?
Doug: Hey. Package for Philip Matsumoto.
Philip: All right. Didn't expect to see you out today. My mailman didn't even show up.
Doug: Oh, yeah. Neither rain nor sleet stuff, it's, it's all talk. Just need you to sign right there.
Philip: Honey, my jerky came!
Miyoshi: Oh my God, you must be freezing! Please, come in.
Philip: Oh, this is my wife, Miyoshi.
Doug: Hi. Doug. That's all right, I'm going to probably head back out there.
Miyoshi: Not until you warm up. I'm making hot chocolate.
Doug: Oh, we're not supposed to. With marshmallows? Marshmallows? Oh my God. Is that hi-def?
Philip: Oh yeah. It's great. It is incredible. Come on, sit down.
Doug: I never realized Bob Barker's eyes were so blue.
O'Boyle: Heffernan!
Doug: Yeah?
O'Boyle: FedEx just shut down, so you can bring it in.
Doug: Uh, you know what, sir? I think I'm going to stick it out.
O'Boyle: Don't be a hero, Heffernan.
Doug: Not being a hero, sir. Just an IPS driver. You know what goes good with hot chocolate? Beef jerky.

Holly is drying Arthur's shoes off after being out in the snow for their walk. Arthur is reading a magazine.

Holly: So Arthur, you almost done with that Cosmo quiz?
Arthur: According to this, my appetite for sexual adventure is damaging my reputation in the workplace.
Holly: Well, um, anyway, I'm sorry we had to cut our walk short today, but your shoes are dry, and you finished your cocoa, so I bet you're pretty anxious to you know, get on home.
Arthur: Not at all. I love this place. You've really carved yourself out a piece of heaven.
Holly: Actually, Arthur. I have a date coming over, so I kind of need the place to myself. It's, it's our third date, so it's time for me to, you know, start earning those spaghetti dinners.
Arthur: But uh, how will I get home? It's a blizzard out there!
Holly: Oh, I don't. It's not so bad. Plus, you're a member of the Polar Bear Club, right?
Arthur: That was just to meet girls.

Carrie is trying to drive home from the Queens Center in the blizzard.

Radio: And now, for any of you idiots foolish enough to be out on the roads today, here's Foreigner with Golden Ice.
Carrie: Well, this idiot just scored herself a free Ipod. So bye bye. OK. Skidding. Turn into it. Turn into it. Crap!

Carrie hits something with her car. She gets out, and goes into the church that she's stuck in front of. Carrie sits in one of the pews and reads a magazine. Father McDaniel comes by.

Father McDaniel: Oh, poor Brad and Jen.
Carrie: Oh! Father McDaniel. What's a girl got to do to get a Bible around here?
Father McDaniel: Well, Carrie. I must say I'm quite impressed you braved this horrendous weather to come out and worship.
Carrie: Uh, my car got stuck outside. I'm waiting for Triple A.
Father McDaniel: So I see you've been shopping.
Carrie: Yes! Yes! I went shopping. Doug says that's my religion. But it isn't.
Father McDaniel: Ooh. Is that one of those Ipods?
Carrie: Um, yeah?
Father McDaniel: Oh, I hear they're fantastic. You know, the bishop gave these away for Christmas, but it was only from on senior level and above. The rest of us got stuck with waffle irons.
Carrie: Ouch.
Father McDaniel: Would you mind if I ask you how much you paid for that?
Carrie: How much did I pay for it? Um, five, nine, two. Tax.
Father McDaniel: Come on, what are we talking? Three bills?
Carrie: You know what it is? I'm just in a spiritual place right now. Do you know what I mean? I don't like to talk about materialistic things. Especially when I could have used that money to help the poor or what not.
Father McDaniel: But Carrie, you are helping. That Ipod represents jobs for the people who made it, and for the people who sell it. Now their families can have food on their table and decent shelter and hope. All because you paid for that Ipod. And God knows that.

Doug is hanging out at the Matsumoto house. He is sitting in the massage chair.

Philip: How do you like the massage chair?
Doug: Oh. Love it. And it ain't shy, I'll tell you that much.
Miyoshi: All I have is cake. Is, is that all right?
Doug: She's adorable.
Miyoshi: Oh honey. My sister just called. With the baby on the way, it's not going to work out with my father.
Philip: Where's he going to live?
Miyoshi: I told him he could live with us!

Doug starts thinking about all the things Arthur has done while living with him and Carrie. Arthur throws Doug's sandwich on the floor. Arthur throws a game board on the floor.

Doug: Hey, hey! That's my wallet!!

Arthur honks a horn at Doug when he opens the basement door.

Philip: Sure, that sounds fine!
Miyoshi: Thank you, honey!
Doug: We need to talk.

Holly's date is underway.

Holly: You were totally flirting with me! I saw you staring.
Owen: No, no, no. You know what? I had my back turned to you.
Holly: And I didn't hate that. What is it?
Owen: Old man's staring at us again.
Arthur: Ah, get over yourself.
Holly: Arthur, what are you doing?
Arthur: I'm bored.
Holly: Well, didn't you like the video I gave you?
Arthur: Big Momma's House? I liked it better the first time, when it was called Twelve Angry Men.
Holly: Arthur, the only reason I let you stay is because you promised me that I wouldn't even know you were here.
Arthur: Well, we both knew that was going to be impossible.
Holly: Arthur, I really like this guy. I mean, he's nice, and I'm pretty sure he's not married.
Arthur: Well, after thumbing through your diary, I realized how desperate you are to find a man. So, I'll be quiet as a church mouse.
Holly: Thank you. Sorry about the interruption. It should be fine now.
Owen: Hey, you know what I was thinking? Snow lets up, I'll get us some take out from Delly's, huh?
Holly: Ooh, yum.
Arthur: Big mistake!!
Holly: Arthur!
Arthur: Last week I found a tooth in my Yankee pesto!
Holly: Well, just be quiet cause we're ordering from there anyway!
Arthur: Then put me down for a chicken parm.

Holly takes Arthur to her neighbor's apartment. She knocks on the door.

Meg: Oh, hey Hol!
Holly: Hey Meg. Remember last week when I watched Sasha for you?
Meg: Yeah?
Holly: Well, thanks!

Carrie walks back to the Queens Center.

Beth: May I help you, ma'am?
Carrie: Uh yes, I was in here a couple hours ago, and I bought a bunch of stuff, and it turns out that I wasn't charged for this, so I would like to pay for it now.
Beth: Oh, really? Do you have a receipt?
Carrie: Yes I do. And I tried to tell your cashier that it didn't beep, but.
Beth: Oh, so you knew that it wasn't paid for before you left the store. I see.
Carrie: You see what?
Beth: Some people might consider that shoplifting.
Carrie: You know, I got to tell you, um, I'm hearing thief when I should be hearing thank you. OK? And another thing, none of this would have happened if your employee of the month over there wasn't yapping on the phone when she should have been checking me out.
Beth: Carmen! Please report to the service counter!
Carmen: Yeah?
Beth: This woman says you neglected to charge her for this merchandise because you were taking a personal call.
Carmen: I don't know what she's talking about. I wasn't on no phone.
Carrie: Oh really? Then how do I know about Roberto? Yeah, right.
Carmen: OK. I was just trying to get somebody to pick up my daughters from school so that they don't have to wait out in the snow!
Beth: Well, I'm sorry, Carmen, but this is just one screw up too many. I'm going to have to let you go.
Carmen: What?
Beth: Clear out your register and see Sandy for your last paycheck.
Carrie: What? No, no, no. No, no, no. I didn't want to get her, uh, oh, I am so sorry. I didn't mean to get you fired!
Carmen: Oh, you didn't mean it? So when my babies are crying because their mama lost her job and there's no dinner on the table, I'll just say it's OK because the lady didn't mean it!

Carrie is back at the church with Father McDaniel.

Carrie: So I made things even worse. And I think I might have lost a toe.
Father McDaniel: Well, it's certainly unfortunate that a young mother is now without a job, but you were trying to do the right thing. In that case, your conscience should be clear.
Carrie: Oh, thank you, Father.
Father McDaniel: Huh.
Carrie: Now what?
Father McDaniel: Well, there is the advice about going the extra mile that we receive from the attitudes. And whoever shall compel thee to go one mile, go with him two, and whoever-
Carrie: I get it! I got it.

Doug is trying to warn Philip about the big mistake he is making.

Doug: He'll steal the change off your dresser. He'll horde things like tin foil and rubber bands and lids from old jars, and jars! He'll eat some of his dinner, and then save some in his teeth for later, sometimes weeks later. The smell of old man will be in your house, your clothes, your hair, forever!
Philip: In Japanese culture, we are supposed to revere our elders.
Doug: Look, I love your food, I love your TVs, but on this one, you guys couldn't be wronger.
Miyoshi: Honey, I just called my dad. He's so excited!!
Philip: That's, that's great, honey.
Miyoshi: Oh. One little thing. I think we should put him in the room upstairs.
Philip: My game stuff is upstairs. Can't he stay in the room off the kitchen?
Miyoshi: It's too small! You put all your junk in the garage.
Philip: I'll be back.
Doug: I'll be right here if you need me.

Arthur has to hang out with Sasha and her stuffed animals.

Sasha: Mr. Piggles loves to make new friends.
Arthur: You know, if you're going to advertise a tea party, you might want to serve tea.
Sasha: It's imaginary tea, silly.
Arthur: Yes. Clearly I'm the silly one. So, is your daddy still in the picture or is it a two mommy deal cause that's the vibe I'm getting.

Carrie is once again at the Queens Center.

Carrie: Oh God. I'm so glad you're here.
Carmen: Yeah, we forgot to exchange numbers so that we could get together for lunch.
Carrie: No. Listen, listen, listen. I'm going to talk to your boss, and if she doesn't take you back, then I work for a big real estate company, and they're always looking for people.
Carmen: Are you serious?
Carrie: Yeah. I want to make this right.
Hector: What happened?
Carmen: Uh, I got fired, but this lady says she can get me a job at a real estate company. This is my husband.
Carrie: Ah, the famous Roberto.
Hector: Roberto?! How does she know about Roberto?!
Carrie: Oh my God.
Carmen: I needed somebody to pick up the girls!
Hector: I told you I don't want you talking to him!
Carmen: OK, so what am I supposed to do?! You're never around!!
Hector: Is the baby Roberto's?! Just tell me!
Carmen: I don't know!
Hector: Well, when I find Roberto, we'll see how he likes talking to a baseball bat!
Carmen: Hector!!

Doug is sitting in the massage chair eating cake while Philip and Miyoshi are arguing in Japanese.

Philip: Doug. Doug, please, tell my wife what happened when you let your father-in-law move in.
Doug: I truly believe I was sent here for a reason.
Miyoshi: So you put him up to this! This isn't any of your business!
Doug: Miyoshi, come on! I understand you're upset. I'm just saying, I think there are other alternatives.
Miyoshi: Like what? Putting him on the street?
Doug: Nobody's saying street. I mean, there are facilities.
Miyoshi: He's my father.
Doug: Trust me, Miyoshi. I think I know a little something about this.
Miyoshi: Oh you know? All you know is how to eat cake!
Doug: Oh, see. Here come the fat jokes. Right on schedule.
Miyoshi: Well, it's true!
Doug: Oh, you know what? Maybe I go to eat food because it makes me feel good. God forbid I get that from you! I'm just going to go wait in my truck.

Holly and Owen are eating dinner.

Owen: You know what's funny? They put Parmesan cheese in a little packet. Red pepper in a little packet. And when you think about it, ravioli is just like meat in a little packet. You know? Hello?
Holly: Oh.
Owen: Did you hear what I just said?
Holly: Yeah, yeah. I'm, I'm sorry.
Owen: No. I was talking about the food.
Holly: Oh. Oh. Yeah. I'm sorry. No, I'm just feeling kind of badly about kicking Arthur out. I mean, he's really very sweet.
Owen: He flipped us off.
Holly: Yeah. But the only reason he kept that finger up so long is because of the arthritis.

There is a knock on the door.

Meg: Holly!!!
Holly: One second.
Meg: Here.
Arthur: Death is a natural part of life and your daughter had a right to know that! So who's up for some Jenga?
Owen: All right, that's it. You know what? This whole night is ridiculous.
Holly: No, no, no. We can work something out, Owen.
Owen: No. This is how it's going to be. Either he's going, or I'm going.
Arthur: Oh really? Let me tell you something, Omar. Do you really think she's going to choose some washed up pretty boy over someone who's been her friend, her mentor, her-

Arthur is standing in the snow outside Holly's apartment building.
Father McDaniel is vacuuming the pews.

Father McDaniel: Who eats rice cakes in a church? Oh, back again? Carrie, I'm going to have to start charging you rent.
Carrie: Oh, that's funny. You should be a comedian because the priest thing, not working out for you.
Father McDaniel: Carrie, I'm sensing-
Carrie: A-ba-ba-ba! OK, so far, your little quotes and your advice has lost a woman her job, a man named Roberto may be dead, and I will never, ever, ever enjoy this Ipod!!
Father McDaniel: So what are you going to do with it? I'm just saying that Ipod seems to be the root of all your problems. In fact, I believe St. Augustine-
Carrie: Oh, just take it!!
Father McDaniel: Bless you.
Carrie: I'm just going to sit here and wait for Triple A.
Father McDaniel: Ooh yeah. About that. Um, I got a wedding scheduled. I got to start setting up, so.

Holly is at confession.

Holly: So I sent this poor old man out into a blizzard all because I was blinded by carnal lust. What should I do as my penance?

Father McDaniel is listening to the Ipod and paying no attention to Holly.