Rachel: Everybody? Shh, shh. Central Perk is proud to present the music of Miss Phoebe Buffay!
Phoebe: Thanks. Hi, um, I want to start with a song that's about that moment when you suddenly realize what life is really all about. OK, here we go. OK. Thank you very much.

Chandler is at the ATM when the lights go out.

Chandler: What? Oh great. This is just- great.

OPENING CREDITS

Everyone is hanging out at Monica and Rachel's, lighting candles.

Rachel: Wow, this is so cool you guys. The entire city is blacked out.
Monica: Mom says it's all of Manhattan, parts of Brooklyn, and Queens, and they have no idea when it's coming back on.
Rachel: Wow, you guys, this is big.
Monica: Pants and a sweater. Why, Mom? Who am I going to meet in a blackout? Power company guys? Eligible looters? Can we talk about this later? OK.
Phoebe: Can I borrow the phone? I want to call my apartment and check on my grandma.
Monica: Yeah.
Phoebe: Wait, what's my number? Uh, I never call me.

Chandler recognizes the woman he's stuck in the ATM vestibule with.

Chandler: Thinking: Oh my God. It's her. It's that Victoria's Secret model, something, something, Goodacre.
Jill: Hi Mom. It's Jill.
Chandler: Thinking: She's right. It's Jill. Jill Goodacre. Oh my God. I am trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre. Is it a vestibule? Maybe it's an atrium. Oh, yeah, that is the part to focus on, you idiot.
Jill: Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just stuck at the bank in an ATM vestibule.
Chandler: Thinking: Jill says vestibule. I'm going with vestibule.
Jill: I'm fine. No, I'm not alone. I don't know. Some guy.
Chandler: Thinking: Oh! Some guy. I am some guy. Hey Jill, I saw you with some guy last night. Yes, he was some guy.

Joey comes over with a menorah.

Joey: Hey everyone.
Ross: And officiating at the nice blackout is Rabbi Tribbiani.
Joey: Well, Chandler's old roommate was Jewish, and these are the only candles we have, so, Happy Hanukkah, everyone.
Phoebe: Ooh, look. Ugly Naked Guy lit a bunch of candles.
All: Ugh. Oh!
Rachel: Ooh! That had to hurt.

Chandler is still thinking about what to say to Jill.

Chandler: Thinking: All right, all right, all right! It's been fourteen and a half minutes and you still have not said one word. God! Do something! Just make contact. Smile. There you go. You're definitely scaring her.
Jill: Hello. Oh. Hi Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom, you're tripping! Dexter's a dog! Well, the blackout's scaring him. Well, you'd pee too in Dad's shoes if you didn't know what was going on. All right, call me back. Mothers.
Chandler: Yeah. Thinking: Atta boy! A word. That wasn't so hard. Mothers. Yeah. Mothers. Yeah. Don't smile.
Jill: Uh, would you like to call somebody?
Chandler: Yeah, about 300 guys I went to high school with. Yeah, thanks.
Monica: Hello?
Chandler: Hey. It's me.
Monica: It's Chandler. Are you OK?
Chandler: Yeah, I'm fine. I'm stuck in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre.
Monica: What?
Chandler: I'm stuck in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre.
Monica: I have no idea what you just said.
Chandler: Put Joey on the phone!
Joey: What's up man?
Chandler: I'm stuck in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre!
Joey: Oh my God! He's trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre! Chandler, listen, listen. Mumbles something only Chandler will understand.
Chandler: Yeah, like that thought never entered my mind.

The gang is sitting around in the living room.

Monica: All right. I'll go. I'll go. OK. Um, senior year of college. On a pool table.
Rachel: Pool table?
Ross: That's my sister.
Joey: OK, OK. My weirdest place would have to be the women's room on the second floor of the New York City Public Library.
Monica: Oh my God! What were you doing in a library?
Ross: Hey, Phoebes. What about you?
Phoebe: Oh, um. Milwaukee. It's a really weird place.
Rachel: Uh, Ross?
Ross: Disneyland. 1989. It's a Small World After All. Yeah, the uh, the ride broke down, so Carol and I went behind a couple of those mechanical Dutch children. Then they fixed the ride, and we were asked never to return to the Magic Kingdom. So, let's see, I believe...
Phoebe: Ooh. Rachel.
Rachel: Oh, come on, I already went.
Monica: You did not go.
Joey: No, no, no.
Rachel: Come on!
Joey: Come on.
Monica: Tell us.
Rachel: Come on. All right, uh. The weirdest place would have to be, oh, the foot of the bed.
Ross: Step back.
Joey: We have a winner!
Phoebe: Hey, you know, this must be what the fridge looks like with the door closed. Spooky.
Monica: Is anybody hungry? I've got a Klondike... soup.
Rachel: I just never had a relationship with that kind of passion, you know? Where you have to have somebody right there in the middle of a theme park.
Ross: Well, it was the only thing to do there that didn't have a line.
Rachel: All right. Well, see? I mean, Barry wouldn't even kiss me on a miniature golf course.
Ross: Come on.
Rachel: No. He said we were holding up the people behind us.
Ross: And you didn't marry him because?
Rachel: I mean, do you think there are people that go through life never having that kind of...
Ross: Probably.
Rachel: Really?
Ross: But, but, but I'll tell you something. Passion is way overrated.
Rachel: Yeah, right.
Ross: It is. Cause, uh, eventually, it kind of burns out. But hopefully what you're left with is trust and security and uh, well in the case of my ex-wife, lesbianism. So you know, for all those people that miss out on that passion thing, there's all that other good stuff.
Rachel: Huh. OK.
Ross: But, uh. But I don't think that's going to be you.
Rachel: You don't.
Ross: Mm-mm. See, I see, uh, big passion in your future.
Rachel: Really?
Ross: Mm-mm.
Rachel: You do?
Ross: I do.
Rachel: Oh, Ross. You're so great.
Joey: It's never going to happen.
Ross: What?
Joey: You and Rachel.
Ross: What? Me and Ra- what? Why not?
Joey: Because. You waited too long to make your move, and now you're in the friend zone.
Ross: No, no, no. I'm not in the zone.
Joey: Oh. Ross, you're mayor of the zone!
Ross: Look. I'm taking my time, all right? And I'm, I'm laying the groundwork. Yeah, I mean every day I get just a little bit closer to uh-
Joey: Priesthood! Hey, Ross. I'm telling you. She has no idea what you're thinking!
Ross: Oh yeah? She just ran her fingers through my hair. Were you, uh, missing that interaction?
Joey: No, no, no, no. No, no, no. This is running fingers through your hair. OK? Now, this is a tousle. Look, Ross. If you don't ask her out soon, you're going to end up stuck in the zone forever.
Ross: I will, I will. I'm just, see I'm waiting for the right moment. What, now?
Joey: Yeah! What's messing you up? The wine? The candles? The moonlight? Huh? You just got to go up to her, and you got to say, look Rachel, I think you-
Ross: Wait, shh, shh.
Rachel: What are we shushing?
Ross: We're shushing because we're, we're trying to hear something.
Rachel: What?
Ross: Don't you hear that?
Rachel: Oh.
Ross: See?

Meanwhile, in the ATM vestibule...

Jill: Would you like some gum?
Chandler: Oh. Is it sugarless?
Jill: No. Sorry, it's not.
Chandler: Oh, then no thanks. Thinking: What the hell was that? Mental note. If Jill Goodacre offers you gum, you take it! If she offers you mangled animal carcass, you take it!

Phoebe is singing in the living room.

Phoebe: Singing: New York City has no power, and the milk is getting sour. Hard to believe it is not scary cause I stay away from dairy. La-la-la-la.
Ross: OK, here goes.
Joey: Are you going to do it?
Ross: I'm going to do it.
Joey: You want me to help?
Ross: You come out there, you're a dead man.
Joey: Ross. Good luck, man.
Ross: Thanks. OK.
Joey: OK. OK. Hey, where are you going?
Monica: Outside.
Joey: No, no. You can't go out there.
Monica: Why not?
Joey: Because of uh, the reason!
Monica: And that would be?
Joey: I uh, I can't tell you.
Monica: Joey, what's going on?
Joey: OK, listen. You got to promise you'll never ever tell Ross that I told you.
Monica: About what?
Joey: He's planning your birthday party.
Monica: Oh my God. I love him!
Joey: And you better act surprised.
Phoebe: About what?
Monica: My surprise party.
Phoebe: What surprise party?
Monica: Oh, stop it. Joey already told me.
Phoebe: Well, he didn't tell me.
Joey: Hey, don't look at me. This is Ross' thing.
Phoebe: This is so typical. I'm always the last one to know everything.
Oh, you are not! We tell you stuff.
Phoebe: Yah-huh! I was the last one to know when Chandler got bit by the peacock at the zoo, I was the last to know when you had a crush on Joey when he was moving in.
Joey: What?
Phoebe: Oh. Well, looks like I was second to last.
Joey: You uh, you had a crush on me?
Monica: All right, well, it wasn't a crush. It was a, a dent.
Joey: Big dent?
Monica: All right, look. You were moving your furniture upstairs, I, I thought you had nice arms. That's all.
Joey: Nice arms, huh? Hey Mon. I'm moving the chair. Do anything for you?

Ross and Rachel are hanging out on the balcony.

Ross: You know with all the lights out, you can actually see the stars.
Rachel: So nice.
Ross: Hey, I have a question. Well, uh, actually, it's not so much a question, it's more of a general wondering. OK, uh, here goes. Um, well for one, I've been wanting to um...
Rachel: Oh!
Ross: Yes, yes. That's, that's right.
Rachel: Look at that little guy.
Ross: What? AAAAAAAH!!
Monica, Phoebe, and Joey: Singing: Top of the world, looking down on creation...

Ross has been attacked by a cat, and Monica is applying first aid.

Monica: All right, this is just Bactine, it won't hurt.
Ross: Ow, ow.
Joey: Sorry, that was wax.
Phoebe: Aw. Poor little Tootie is scared to death. We should find his owner.
Ross: Or we just put the poor little Tootie out in the hall.
Rachel: During a blackout? She'll get trampled.
Ross: Yeah?

In the ATM vestibule...

Chandler: Thinking: All right. All right. Damage control. Get back to the gum. You know what? On second thought, gum would be perfection. Gum would be perfection? Gum would be perfection. Could have said gum would be nice, could have said I'll have a stick, but no, no, no, for me, gum is perfection. I loathe myself.

Phoebe and Rachel are trying to find the cat's owner.

Rachel: Oh no. The Melmans. They hate all living things, right?
Phoebe: Oh.
Rachel: Hi. We just found this cat and we're looking for the owner.
Mr. Heckles: Um, yeah, it's uh, it's mine.
Phoebe: It seems to hate you. Are you sure?
Mr. Heckles: Yeah, it's my cat. Give me my cat.
Phoebe: Now wait a minute. What's his name?
Mr. Heckles: Um, Bob Buttons.
Rachel: Bob Buttons?
Mr. Heckles: Uh-huh. Bob Buttons. Here, Bob Buttons.
Phoebe: You are a very bad man.
Mr. Heckles: You owe me a cat.
Rachel: Here, kitty, kitty, kitty. Here, kitty, kitty. Where did you go, little kitty, kitty, kitty? Kitty, kitty, kitty. Come here, kitty, kitty, kitty. Kitty, kitty, kitty... Hi.
Paolo: Buenos dias.
Rachel: Huh, wow.

Monica, Joey, and Ross are playing Monopoly.

Joey: Hey Mon, want to go for a ride in my race car? I'll bring my arms.
Monica: That'd be nice. Then we can bring my wheelbarrow to carry your teeth.
Ross: Come on, lucky sixes.
Rachel: Everybody? This is Paolo. Paolo, I want you to meet my friends. This is Monica.
Monica: Hi.
Rachel: And Joey.
Monica: Hi.
Rachel: And Ross.
Monica: Hi.
Paolo: speaking Italian
Rachel: He doesn't speak much English.
Paolo: Monopoly!
Rachel: Look at that!
Ross: So, uh, where did Paolo come from?
Rachel: Oh, Italy, I think.
Ross: No, I mean tonight. In the building. Suddenly into our lives.
Rachel: Well, that, that cat. The cat turned out to be Paolo's cat! Isn't that funny?
Ross: Huh. That, that is funny. And Rachel keeps touching him.
Phoebe: Hi. I looked all over the building, and I couldn't find the kitty anywhere.
Rachel: Oh, I found him. It was Paolo's cat.
Phoebe: Ah! Well, there you go. Last to know again. And I'm guessing since nobody told me, this is Paolo.
Rachel: Oh. Paolo. This is Phoebe.
Paolo: Oh Phoebe. speaks Italian
Phoebe: Yeah, you betcha.

Chandler still hasn't been able to talk to Jill.

Chandler: Thinking: All right, OK, what next? Blow a bubble. Bubble's good, it's got a uh, boyish charm. It's impish. Here we go. Nice going, imp! It's OK. All I need to do is reach over and put it back in my mouth. Good save! We're back on track and I'm chewing someone else's gum. This is not my gum, oh my God. Oh my God! And now you're choking.
Jill: Are you all right? Oh my God, you're choking! Better?
Chandler: Yes. Thank you, that was, that was...
Jill: Perfection?

Paolo is speaking Italian to Rachel while they look out the window.

Paolo: speaking Italian
Ross: Blah blah le bleh bleh, bleh bleh le le, bleah, lea.
Joey: That was no tousle.
Ross: Hey. What did he say that was so funny?
Rachel: I have absolutely no idea.
Ross: That's, that's classic.
Rachel: Oh my God, you guys. What am I doing? What am I doing? This is so un-me.
Monica: If you want, I'll do it.
Phoebe: I know. I just want to bite his bottom lip. But I won't.
Rachel: God. The first time he smiled at me, those three seconds were more exciting than three weeks in Bermuda with Barry.
Phoebe: Now, did you rent mopeds? Cause I've heard. Oh, it's not about that right now, OK.
Rachel: Oh God. I know it's totally superficial, and we have nothing in common, and we don't even speak the same language, but God.
Ross: Paolo, hi.
Paolo: Ross.
Ross: Listen, uh, listen, um. Something you should uh, you should know. Um, Rachel and I are, we're kind of a, we're kind of a thing.
Paolo: Thing?
Ross: Thing, yes. Thing.
Paolo: You, have the sex?
Ross: No, no, no. Um, technically, the, the, sex is not being had, but that's uh, but that's not the point, see. Um, the point is that uh, well, Rachel and I should be uh, well, Rachel and I should be together. You know, and if you get in the uh...
Paolo: Bed?
Ross: No. No, not where I was going. Uh, if you get in the way, way, of us becoming a thing, then, uh, I would be well, very sad.
Paolo: Oh!
Ross: So do you, um, seviche?
Paolo: Si.
Ross: Si? Si? So you, uh, you do know a little English.
Paolo: Po, little.
Ross: Do you, hmm, do you know the word crap weasel?
Paolo: No.
Ross: That's funny, cause you are a huge crap weasel.
Paolo: Grazie!

Jill and Chandler are finally hanging out talking.

Jill: Chandler, we've been here for an hour doing this. Now watch. It's easy.
Chandler: OK.
Jill: Ready? OK? Now try it. You got to whip it.

The gang are hanging out, and they are running out of candles.

Phoebe: Oh, look, look, look. The last candle's about to burn out. 10, 9, 8, 7, -46, -47, -48...
Ross: Thank you.
Monica: Thanks.
Ross: Kind of spooky without any lights
Joey: MUA-HA-HA-HA-HA!
All: MUA-HA-HA-HA-HA!
Ross: OK. Guys, guys, I have the definitive one. MUA-HA-HA-HA-HA!
Joey: Oh, Ross. This probably isn't the best time to bring it up, but you have to throw a party for Monica.

It's time for Jill and Chandler to part ways.