Monica: How does she do that?
Ross: I cannot sleep in a public place.
Monica: Would you look at her? She is so peaceful.
Ross: Yeah.
Phoebe: Whoa!
Monica: Ahh!
Phoebe: What? What? What? Hi.
Ross: It's OK, you know, you just nodded off again.
Phoebe: Ugh.
Monica: What's going on with you?
Phoebe: I got no sleep last night.
Ross: Why?
Phoebe: My grandmother has this new boyfriend and they're both kind of insecure in bed, so, and deaf! So they're constantly like having to reassure each other that they're having a good time. You have no idea how loud they are.
Monica: Well, if you want, you can stay with Rachel and me tonight.
Phoebe: Thanks.

Joey and Chandler come in, while counting.

Joey: Ninety-five, ninety-six, ninety-seven. See I told you. Less than a hundred steps from our place to here.
Chandler: You got way too much free time.
Joey: Hey, there's the birthday boy! Ross, check it out. Hockey tickets. Rangers, Penguins, tonight at the Garden and we're taking you.
Chandler: Happy birthday, pal.
Joey: We love you man.
Ross: Ha, ha, ha. Funny, my birthday was seven months ago.
Joey: So?
Ross: So I'm guessing you had an extra ticket and couldn't decide which one of you get to bring a date, hmm?
Chandler: Well, aren't we "Mr. The Glass is Half Empty."
Ross: Oh my God, is today the 20th? October 20th?
Monica: I was hoping you wouldn't remember.
Ross: Ugh.
Joey: What's wrong with the 20th?
Chandler: Eleven days before Halloween, all the good costumes are gone?
Ross: Today's the day Carol and I first consummated our physical relationship. Sex. You know what? I better pass on the game. I think I'm just going to go home and think about my ex-wife and her lesbian lover.
Joey: The hell with hockey! Let's all do that!
Chandler: Come on Ross! You, me, Joey, ice, guys night out, come what do you say, big guy, huh, huh, huh?
Ross: What are you doing?
Chandler: I have no idea.
Joey: Come on, Ross.
Ross: All right, all right, maybe it'll take my mind off it. You promise to buy me a big foam finger?
Joey: You got it!

Rachel comes out waving her paycheck.

Rachel: Look, look, look my first paycheck! Look in the window, there's my name! Hi me!
Phoebe: I remember the day I got my first paycheck. There was a cave-in in one of the mines and eight people were killed.
Monica: Wow! You worked in a mine?
Phoebe: No, I worked at a Dairy Queen. Why?
Rachel: Isn't this exciting? I earned this, I wiped tables for this, I steamed milk for it, and it was totally not worth it. Who's FICA? Why is he getting all my money? I mean, what? Chandler, look at that.
Chandler: Oh, this is not that bad.
Joey: No, you're fine. Yeah, for a first job.
Ross: You can totally, totally, live on this.
Phoebe: Oh yeah!
Ross: Hey, by the way, great service today.
Chandler, Ross, and Joey: Hockey!! Hockey!!

The guys leave as some old high school friends of Rachel's come in.

Joanne: Rachel?
Rachel: Oh my God!! Aaaah!
Rachel's friends: Aaaaaah!!
Monica: I swear I've seen birds do this on Wild Kingdom.
Rachel: What are you guys doing here?
Kiki: Well, we were in the city shopping, and your mom said you work here, and it's true.
Leslie: Look at you in the apron. You look like you're in a play.
Rachel: God, look at you, you are so big, I can't believe it!
Joanne: I know, I know. I'm a duplex.
Rachel: So what's going on with you?
Leslie: Well, guess who my dad's making partner at his firm.
Kiki: While we're on the subject of news.
Phoebe: Look, look, I have elbows!
Monica: Aaaaaah!!

The guys are walking down the street.

Chandler: Passes it up to Leetch!
Joey: Leetch spots Messier in the crease! Here's the pass!
Chandler: We'll take a brief time out while Messier stops to look at some women's shoes.
Ross: Carol was wearing boots just like those the night that we first, you know. In fact she never took them off. It's cause we were- sorry, sorry. Ah, huh-uh.
Joey: What?
Ross: Peach pit.
Chandler: Yes, bunny?
Ross: Peach pit. That night we, uh, we had-
Joey: Peaches?
Ross: Actually uh, nectarines, but basically-
Chandler: Could have been a peach.
Ross: Then we, uh, then we got dressed and I, I walked her to the, the bus stop.
Joey: Hey that woman's got an ass like Carol's. What? I thought we were trying to find stuff.

Rachel's friends are talking with her.

Leslie: All right, let's talk reality for a second.
Rachel: OK.
Leslie: When are you coming home?
Rachel: What? Guys, I'm not.
Leslie: Come on, this is us.
Rachel: I'm not! This is what I'm doing now. I've got this job-
Kiki: Waitressing?
Rachel: Hey, I'm not just waitressing. I mean, I'm, I um, I write the specials on the specials board and I uh, I take the dead flowers out of the vase, oh and sometimes Arturo lets me put the little chocolate blobbies on the cookies.
Joanne: Well, your mom didn't tell us about the little blobbies.

The girls are having a slumber party.

Monica: Hey Rach, how was it with your friends?
Monica & Phoebe: AAAAH!!
Monica: OK, how would you like some Tiki Death Punch?
Rachel: What's that?
Monica: Well, it's rum and-
Rachel: OK.
Monica: We thought since Phoebe was staying over tonight, we'd have kind of like a slumber party thing. We got some trashy magazines, we got cookie dough, we got Twister-
Phoebe: Oh, and I brought Operation, but um, I lost the tweezers so we can't operate. But we can prep the guy!
Monica: Rach, it's the VISA card people.
Rachel: Oh God, ask them what they want.
Monica: Could you please tell me what this is in reference to? They say there's been some unusual activity on your account.
Rachel: But I haven't used my card in weeks.
Monica: That is the unusual activity. Look, they just want to see if you're OK.
Rachel: They want to know if I'm OK. OK, they want to know if I'm OK. OK, let's see, well, let's see, the FICA guys took all my money, everyone I know is either getting married or getting pregnant or getting promoted and I'm getting coffee. And it's not even for me! So, if that sounds like I'm OK, OK you can tell them I'm OK. OK?
Monica: Rachel has left the building. Can you call back?
Rachel: All right. Come on! Let's play Twister.

The guys are shoving their way into the bleachers.

Chandler: Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Ross: Uh-oh.
Chandler: What? There was ice there that night with Carol? Plastic seats? 4,000 angry Pittsburgh fans?
Ross: No. Actually I was just saying looks like we're not sitting together. But now that you mention it, there was ice there that night. It was the first frost.
Joey: Just sit down. Sit.

Monica and Phoebe are trying to console Rachel.

Monica: You should feel great about yourself! You're doing this amazing independent thing.
Rachel: Monica, what is so amazing? I gave up like, everything! And for what?
Phoebe: You are just like Jack!
Rachel: Jack from downstairs?
Phoebe: No. Jack and the Beanstalk.
Monica: Ah, the other Jack.
Phoebe: Yeah, right. See he gave up something, but then he got those magic beans. And then he woke up, and there was this, this big plant outside his window full of possibilities and stuff, and he lived in a village and you live in The Village.
Rachel: OK, but Phoebes, Phoebes, Jack gave up a cow, I gave up an orthodontist. OK, I know, I know I didn't love him, but...
Phoebe: Oh, see Jack did love the cow.
Rachel: But see, it was a plan. You know, it was clear. Everything was figured out, and now everything is just kind of like...
Phoebe: Floopy?
Rachel: Yeah.
Monica: You're not the only one. I mean, half the time we don't know where we're going. I mean, you just got to figure at some point it's all going to come together and it's just going to be unfloopy.
Phoebe: Yeah, like that's a word.
Rachel: OK, but Monica, what if it doesn't come together?
Monica: Phoebes?
Phoebe: Well, cause you just, I don't like this question.
Rachel: OK, see, see you guys? What if we don't get magic beans? I mean, what if all we've got are beans?

The guys are enjoying the game.

Ross: Get him! Get him! Get him! Yes! You're not laughing now, are you pal?
Chandler: See that's all you needed. A bunch of toothless guys hitting each other with sticks.
Ross: Pass it!
Chandler: He's open! Shoot it! Shoot it! Shoot it! Hey, look we're on that TV thing.

The guys take Ross to the hospital because he was hit in the face with a hockey puck.

Chandler: Excuse me.
Nurse Sizemore: It says to call this number if you're not completely satisfied with this candy bar. Well, I'm not completely satisfied.
Chandler: Listen, it's kind of an emergency. Well, I guess you know that, or we'd be in the predicament room.
Nurse Sizemore: Hold on! Fill these out! Sit over there!
Ross: Look, look, look! I don't want to make any trouble, OK, but I'm in a lot of pain here, all right, my face is dented.
Nurse Sizemore: Well, you'll have to wait your turn.
Joey: Well, how long do you think it'll be?
Nurse Sizemore: Any minute now.
Ross: Hey! This- uh...

Phoebe has fallen asleep, Monica is eating cookie dough, and Rachel is drinking.

Rachel: Uh, I am so sorry you guys, I didn't mean to bring you down.
Monica: No, you were right. I don't have a plan!
Pizza Guy: Pizza guy!
Rachel: Food!
Monica: Phoebe?
Phoebe: What?
Monica: Do you have a plan?
Phoebe: I don't even have a ple.
Pizza Guy: Hi, uh, one mushroom, green pepper and onion?
Rachel: No, no, no, that's not what we ordered. We ordered a fat free crust with extra cheese.
Pizza Guy: Wait, you're not G. Stephanopoulous?
Rachel: No.
Pizza Guy: Oh, my dad's going to kill me!
Monica: Wait! Did you say G. Stephanopoulous?
Pizza Guy: Yeah, yeah, this one goes across the street. I must have given him yours. Oh, bonehead, bonehead!
Monica: Wait, was this a small, Mediterranean guy with curiously intelligent good looks?
Pizza Guy: Yeah, that sounds about right.
Monica: Was he wearing a stunning blue suit?
Phoebe: And a power tie?
Pizza Guy: No, pretty much just a towel.
Monica: Oh God.
Pizza Guy: So do you guys want me to take this back?
Monica: What are you nuts? We've got George Stephanopoulous' pizza!
Rachel: Uh, Phoebes? Who's George Snuffleupagus?
Phoebe: That's Big Bird's friend.
Monica: I see pizza!
Phoebe: Ooh, I want to see! Let me see! Let me see!
Rachel: Hello! Who are we spying on?
Monica: You know the White House adviser? Clinton's campaign guy? The one with the great hair, sexy smile, really cute butt?
Rachel: Oh, him! The little guy! Oh, I love him!
Phoebe: Oh, wait. Wait, I see a woman.
Monica: Tell me it's his mother.
Phoebe: Definitely not his mother.
Monica: Oh no.
Phoebe: Oh wait, she's walking across the floor. She's walking, she's walking, she's going for the pizza, hey that's not for you, bitch!

The guys are still waiting to see a doctor.

Chandler: Excuse me, look, we've been here for over an hour and a lot of people less sick than my friend have gone in. I mean, that guy with the toe thing, who's he sleeping with? Huh. Oh come on, Dora, don't be mad. I know we both said some things we didn't mean, but that doesn't mean we still don't love each other. You know, I, I feel like I've lost her. Ah!!

The girls are sitting on the balcony.

Monica: Light still out?
Phoebe: Yeah.
Monica: Ah. Maybe they're napping.
Rachel: Oh, please, they're having sex.
Monica & Phoebe: Shut up!
Rachel: So, what do you think George is like?
Monica: I think he's shy.
Phoebe: Yeah?
Monica: Yeah, I think you have to draw him out and then when you do, he's a preppy animal.

The guys are still waiting...

Ross: I remember the moonlight coming in through the open window and her face had the most incredible glow.
Chandler: Yes, the moon, the glow, the magical feeling, you did this part. Could I get some painkillers over here please?
Joey: He's right. Enough already! What is the big deal about today? So you slept with her for the first time, so
what? You slept with her for seven years after that.
Ross: Look, it's just a little more complicated.
Chandler: What, what, what is it?! That she left you?! That she likes women?! That she left you for another woman that likes women?!
Ross: A little louder OK? I think there's a man on the 12th floor in a coma who didn't quite hear you.
Chandler: Then what?
Ross: My first time with Carol was my...
Joey: What?!
Ross: It was my first time.
Joey: With Carol? Oh.
Chandler: So in your whole life, you've only been with one- oh.
Joey: Oh, boy, hockey was a big mistake. There's a whole bunch of stuff we could have done tonight.

The girls are chatting on the balcony.

Monica: OK, OK, I got one. Do you remember that vegetarian pate that I made that you love so much?
Phoebe: Uh-huh.
Monica: Well, unless goose is a vegetable.
Phoebe: OK, fine, fine. Now I don't feel so bad about sleeping with Jason Hurley.
Monica: What? You slept with Jason?
Phoebe: You'd already broken up.
Rachel: How long?
Phoebe: A couple hours.
Monica: Oh, that's nice.
Rachel: OK, OK, OK I got one. Anyway, the valentine Tommy Rollerson left in your locker was really from me.
Monica: Excuse me?
Rachel: Hello! Like he was really going to send you one! She was a big girl.
Monica: Really! Well, at least big girls don't pee in their pants in 7th grade.
Rachel: Uh! I was laughing! You made me laugh!
Phoebe: There he is! There he is! There he is!
Monica: Where?!
Phoebe: Right where we've been looking all night.
Rachel: Oh, he is so cute.
Monica: Oh, George, baby, drop the towel.
All: Drop the towel, drop the towel. Wow.

Ross is trying to fix his nose himself, and Joey and Chandler are talking.

Joey: Man, can you believe he's only had sex with one woman?
Chandler: I think it's great. You know, it's sweet, it's romantic.
Joey: Really?
Chandler: No, are you kidding? The guy's a freak. Hey man.
Joey: Hey buddy.
Nurse Sizemore: Oh, that's attractive.
Chandler: Oh, I thought you were great in Silence of the Lambs. Oh come on, admit it, all things considered, you had fun tonight.
Ross: Fun? Where was the fun? Tell me specifically, which part was the fun part? Where's my puck?
Joey: Oh, the kid has it.
Ross: The kid- excuse me, that's my puck.
Bratty Boy: I found it. Finders keepers, losers weepers.
Chandler: You got to do it, man.
Ross: Oh yeah, well I'm rubber, you're glue, whatever you- Listen, uh, give me back my puck.
Bratty Boy: No.
Ross: Yes, how about-
Bratty Boy: No.
Nurse Sizemore: Hey! No roughhousing in my ER!
Ross: Give me back my puck! Now that was fun!

Everyone is at Monica and Rachel's playing Twister.