While the breeding habits of the wild Large Wooden Badger are completely unknown to scientists, those of the domesticated Large Wooden Badger are even still very vague. There are several important facets which are well documented.

• The male Large Wooden Badger will seldom mate with anything other than a female Large Wooden Badger unless of course he is intoxicated. Attempted matings with pickup truck camper shells have been well documented in being the target of drunken Large Wooden Badgers.

• A female Large Wooden Badger shows that she is ready to mate by continuously whacking the male Large Wooden Badger with a large rock and screaming "I'm all yours, stud muffin!!!" Since the male Large Wooden Badger is not as intelligent as the female Large Wooden Badger this ritual can take up to several weeks.

• It is believed that the female Large Wooden Badger carries the babies internally, like a mammal, and gives live birth...well if you call the baby pecking through the mother's back boards with its prenatal pecking thingy and bursting into the world live birth, then that is what occurs.

• For the first three months of its life, the baby Large Wooden Badger must rely on the mother for protection from the rain and other sources of water. Baby Large Wooden Badgers are known to warp terribly if they get wet.