2001.07.08 [想念你]

好想念你的味道 
淡淡的肥皂香 

想念你開車的樣子 
右手永遠握住我的左手 

好想念你笑的模樣 
像個天真沒煩惱的天使 

你一直都是我的天使 
守護著我給我溫暖與快樂 
不是天使還會是什麼 
是最"unique"的天使... 


2001.07.11 [今天, 是十一號]

你記不記得那天 
我們去toys r us瞎逛, 買kitkat餵你吃 
我說將來不准你寵壞我們的孩子 
一起跑去吃美味的冰淇淋蛋糕 
冷冷的天你還陪我去了海邊 
我們都浸泡在冰冷的海水中 
我吹了一個又一個的彩色泡泡 
我們目送它們漂浮於海面之上 
直到它們遠去消失不見. 
看著坐在木頭上的一對老夫妻, 
你問我, 我們老了也會那樣嗎? 
那天, 你陪在我身邊, 我一點都不冷. 
你還記得嗎這些嗎? 

今天, 是十一號... again. 
^_______________________^    
 

2001.07.18

為什麼妳都不看我? 望也不望一眼的... 
難道要我在妳面前摔一跤嗎? 哈哈~ 

美樂蒂最愛拆新的CD了~ :) eason~~ 

"種種意外若能明白 那生存意義又何在 
若能推猜這一切的未來 我乾脆辭掉工作賣大彩" 

ohhhh dear god, let me get the job!! 
雖然我比較想做美加的助教啦... 
因為那樣就可以和jamie助教成為"同事"了耶! :) 

有志者事竟成~ 
溫暖project 1/4 done! :) 

and the little train said 
"i believe i can 
i believe i can... 
i believed i could."   


2001.07.20

今天晚上回家的時候又看見了那隻黑白的貓在7-11外面,
所以我趕快買了一瓶牛奶要餵牠. 可是我出來的時候,
已經有一個中年男人在餵牠吃"寶路"了...
而且還是最好吃的肉塊類的呢!
(雖然我覺得他是把狗食拿來餵貓了.)
所以我就把牛奶帶回家了.
唉, 我是個好人, 可是還不夠好吧! 哈哈~
(自嘲的苦笑著) 
 

2001.07.21

妳跟我講話了妳跟我講話了!! 好開心喔~ 
雖然你只是叫我去對面的大樓考試... 
可是我還是好開心喔, 妳竟然認得我! :) 

每天... 都要... 補習... 值得!! 
1320, 1310, 1340, 1330, 1380, 1350~ 

and the little train said 
"i believe i can 
i believe i can... 
i believed i could." 

"did u ever notice when u blow in a dog's face,
he gets mad at u? but when u take him in a car
he sticks his head out the window." 
- steve bluestone 


2001, july~november???

so sick n tired of puttin on a smile
just so other ppl may feel better 
if it hurts then why shouldn't i cry
why should i pretend to be strong 
it's not fair oh no it never is
but who cares not those on top they don't 
u only see ur pain but mine is burning fire red
and blood is gushin out 
will u stop it stop it stop it just stop it
i'm sure i'm more than a puppet 
it hurts it hurts it hurts somebody plz stop it 
is there no other way to stop this pain 

it's when u know that u're good enuff if u'd just try 
but knowing at the same time that it doesn't matter
cuz it just won't happen 
and then u stop trying and blame urself for it
afterwards -- when all's too late 
-- melody~ 

curiosity didn't kill the cat 
it just took 8 lives away from it 
making the cat afraid 
to live his nineth life to the fullest. 
- melody 

"You can't have everything. 
Where would you put it?" 
-- Steven Wright 

"People never say 'It's only a game'
when they're winning." 

"If quitters never win, and winners never quit, 
who came up with 'Quit while you're ahead'?" 

"The early bird gets the worm, 
but the second mouse gets the cheese." 

"Striving for excellense motivates you; 
striving for perfection is demoralizing." 
-- Harriet Braiker   


2001.11.29

下雨到處濕巴巴的很煩 
考試都看不懂題目很煩, 
申請大學好多表格很煩, 
寫essay想不到topic很煩, 
calculus都不會算很煩, 
氣喘呼吸困難很煩, 
一讀書就發燒很煩, 
全部的事情通通都很煩. 
但是收信的感覺很溫暖! :) 

好久沒有收到claire北鼻的信了 
也好久沒有寫信給claire北鼻了 
很懷念以前通信的時光 
也很懷念以前有閒整天寫信的時光... 
gr. 12 煩死人了, 好多事要忙 
忙了老半天還搞不好跟大家一起念UBC 
真是的 

ps. i got the apartment! wheee!! ^_______^   


2001.12.01

Cruelty has a human heart, 
And jealousy a human face- 
Terror, the human form divine, 
And secerecy, the human dress. 
-William Blake "A Divine Image" 

blake說的太好了 
我們活在如此虛假膚淺的世界裡面 
可能大家都習慣了還是認了 
還是都被冷漠的人情assimilate了 
所以每當我抱怨的時候都只有以下的回應 

"so? 事實本來就是如此殘酷" 
"i know, but what can we do about it." 
"早點習慣對你比較好" 

why why why!! 
what happened to passion for our world... 

笨蛋美國人拿著大砲轟來轟去的 
有什麼意義咧 

討~~厭~~啊~~ 

"I do not know my left from my right, 
nor my right from my wrong." 

這是哪個名人說的話, 實在是太好了 
大家都活的很confused, 可是很少人會真的 
想辦法逃脫這個ignornt present...   


2001.12.03 [end of term 1 blues]

每一年的term 1我都很努力的去爭取straight A's, 
努力努力的為成績拼命. 可是一學期結束了, 我就 
突然變的沒有精神~ 書不想念, assignment不想 
做, 課不想上, 學校不想去... 泡杯茶, 抓本書, 
躲到棉被裡又混過了一天~ 為什麼呢... 還是那一 
句, "如果我確定要讀UBC就簡單多了." 2nd term, 
3rd term 不用在拼下去, 不用絞盡腦汁寫七份 
application essay, 不用花台幣一萬多去報一些不 
會上的學校. ai~ 

今天又在屋子裡坐了一天, 讀讀書, 看看TV, 喝喝茶, 
煮碗即時麵, 洗些葡萄來吃... 看似悠閒, 其實卻 
只是在逃避堆積成山的功課... 

chem - w/s #1, 2, 3 
- text questions (III 1~8) 
- solubility test 12th/18th 
Math - text pg 167 #1,4,5, 10odds, 11odds, 13, 14odds 
- test 18th 
Jap - journal due monday 
- travel project script due weds 
- travel project poster due 10th 
Calc - section 4-1, 4-2, 4-3, 4-4 hw 
- test 17th 
Eng - Act 3/4 worksheets 
Phy - text ch6 #9 23 25 31 35 37 39 41 47 
Art - painting due thurs 
dec 4th - LPI exam 
dec 10th - meeting with ms wright 
dec 31 - yale application due 
jan 1 - harvard app. due 
- princeton app. due 
- washington app. due 
jan 8th - move to new apartment 
jan 15th - U Penn app. due 
jan 26th - SAT II exam 
feb 1st - mid year school reports due for US schools 
- financial aid documents due for US schools 
feb 12th - AMC-12 math contest 
march 1 - application deadline for canadian schools 
march 8 - end of term 2 
Apr 16 - Euclid math contest 
Apr 17 - Descartes math contest 
june 7th - graduation 
june 18th - end of term 3 
june 19th - provincial exams begin 

WHEN WILL IT EVER END!!


2001.december [GAP]
 
give a little bit 
give a little bit of ur love to me 
see the man with the lonely eyes 
take his hand and u'll be surprised 
give a little bit 
give a little bit of my love to u 

tired of GAP clothes 
still luv the commercials~ :)   


2001.12.04 [an angel broke my heart]

 "how could an angel break my heart" 
-tony braxton n baby face 

i heard he sang a lullaby 
i heard he sing it from his heart 
when i found out i thought i would die 
because that lullaby was mine 
i heard he sealed it with a kiss 
he gently kissed her cherry lips 
i found that so hard to believe 
because his kiss belonged to me 
how could an angel break my heart 
why didn't he catch my falling star 
i wish i didn't wish so hard 
maybe i wished our love apart 
how could an angel break my heart 

i heard her face was white as rain 
soft as a rose that blooms in may 
he keeps her picture in a frame 
and when he sleeps he calls her name 
i wonder if she makes him smile 
the way he used to smile at me 
i hope she doesn't make him laugh 
becuz his laugh belongs to me 
how could an angel break myheart 
why didn't he catch my falling star 
i wish i didn't wish so hard 
maybe i wished our love apart 
how could an angel break my heart 

oh my soul is dying it's crying 
i'm trying to understand 
please help me 

how could an angel break my heart 
why didn't he catch my falling star 
i wish i didn't wish so hard 
maybe i wished our love apart 
how could an angel break my heart    


2001.12.07

got home, threw myself on the bed 
checked the clock; it's already 3am 
left the cd running again 
forgot to water the plants 
and the fish need feeding 
bills need paying 
and the clothes need washing 
my life's a mess and i know it 
but for now 
let me rest 
for i don't think i can stand it..   


2001.12.08 [feel like dancing]

想到流星花園裡那個叫什麼名字的那個人把手機裡 
的女生的電話都刪掉的那一幕... supa 感動! 
能夠為一個人做那樣的犧牲喔... 很厲害. 
不過為了我的北鼻, 我也願意的... :) 
the things we do for love 

and then the things we do for school... 
已經是星期六的晚上了, 我還是什麼都沒做... 
每次都是這樣杞人憂天, 但又不會去 take action 
可是最後還都是A... (cept for horrible calculus, nuuuu!!) 
所以, 既然船到橋頭自然直, 為什麼還會想那呢多呢... 
===================================== 
move to the music 
move to the music 
=====================================
今天在love getty 看到很勁爆的rated R card... 
真的真的很勁爆... 
yeah it's too R-rated. better not discuss it. heh
===================================== 
每天出去瘋瘋癲癲的過了一天之後就回家 
睡前再看一個chatper的 "The English Patient" 
the words are truly... umm... "enchanting" 
works better than trance music... haha~ 
i should start a book review section on my hp 
but seeing as i read so slow... 
anyway... 
================================ 
move to the music 
move to the music 
================================ 
(~supa weird mood~) 

did u see the stars tonight? 
they're so pretty... 
sometimes i wish i knew all the constellations 
but would it make me unable to just enjoy the stars? 
like that old guy said in MIB... 
"i dun't really look at the stars anymore. 
they are beautiful, aren't they?" 
================================== 
always staring up in the sky 
used to be looking for meteors 
now i'm looking for planes... 
32... 967 to go!