Fab Four   (da boyz)
And now, presenting The Fab Four! We'll start off with a Q & A section.

Q: Who are the Fab Four?
A: The Fab Four is made up of four (duh) guys who worked at Cominco Engineering Services Ltd. (CESL) in Vancouver, B.C. from September to December 1996. The four are Taylor Bianchini, Brad Cavanagh, Clint Chow, and Ian McElmoyle. And yes, just like The Beatles, we had a fifth member who quit in the early days. That long lost guy is Peter Zakrzewski.

Q: Slurry Feed Dogs?
A: That's our motto. It came about after a monstrous twelve-hour night shift, when someone wrote "Slurry Feed Clogs" in the log book. Well, the "c" and "l" in "clogs" merged (due to either abysmal penmenship or shoddy eyesight) and the Slurry Feed Dogs were born. Santa's Little Helper is our mascot.

Q: You guys enjoy infringing copyrights, don't you?
A: You bet, we do it at every opportunity. Actually, as far as we know "Fab Four" isn't a copyright of The Beatles, so we're not really stealing that. Santa's Little Helper definitely is a copyright of The Simpsons, and putting the lyrics for a Great Big Sea song as our official anthem might get us in trouble. We just don't really care.

Q: Any pictures?
A: Yes, there's just one picture of the Fab Four in existance. This was taken near the end of our tour of duty at CESL, and we were 'celebrating' at a nearby restaurant. Here it is:

The Fab Four in all their glory
From left to right, that's Taylor, Brad, Clint & Ian.

Meet da boyz!

Taylor Bianchini
Taylor's ugly mug Taylor is the self-proclaimed superstar of the Fab Four. Even though he pulls down 8s and 9s at school (University of Alberta, Mechanical Engineering), he still has enough time to go out and party on weekends. In fact, most of his weekends go like this: He starts out by buying some cheap drinks at a club, after which he gets separated with his friend. At this point he'll jump up on a speaker and start getting the groove on with some lady. Then, he'll get in a fight with a guy who's usually twice his size, and get a cab ride home with the coolest cabbie in Edmonton.

Taylor just came off a term working at a hospital in Edmonton, where he got his usual stellar review. He's now doing classes at UA, working hard as usual. The rest of the Fab Four was expecting a mega-email from Taylor about his weekend in Sylvan Lake, but he procrastinated so long that we gave up on him. You can find out more about Taylor at his oft-neglected home page, at www.ualberta.ca/~tbianchi/taylor.html. Give him a good scathing review in his guestbook, because he hasn't updated his page in a couple of years.

Brad Cavanagh
B-RadBrad, commonly referred to as "B-Rad", pissed off his fellow Fab Four-ers with the news back in April '97 that he'd be spending the subsequent four months working in Hawaii. Well, he's done it again, he's staying in Hawaii until December '97, working at the Joint Astronomy Centre in Hilo. Brad's the throwback in the group, being the only one who's not going for a Mechanical Engineering degree (he's going for Physics/Astronomy). Currently in his fifth year of schooling, it looks like he's never going to graduate. He's a really fast worker, although that didn't become apparent at CESL, where he was often accused of slacking off. In fact, he's the founder of the CESL Hard Workers' Club. Go check out his ultra-professional web page at www.geocities.com/Colosseum/Loge/8425/, and marvel at how much better it is than Taylor's, yet equals Clint's for professionality.

Clint Chow
Quota BoyClint was only hired at CESL to fulfill their Asian worker quota. Correspondingly, he didn't have much of a work ethic, so everything he did usually had to be redone by Taylor, which lead to Clint's nickname: Clint Chow Redo Special. Clint is our resident BritPop guy, we think he's actually a Brit in disguise. When his monetary pipeline is open and flowing, you can usually find him buying clothes in abundant amounts. When the pipeline's closed, he'll still blow wads of money.

Clint just finished off a term working somewhere in Toronto, where he liked walking around causing numerous safety violations. He is a proud member of the I Love You Tori Club because he loves Tori Spelling so much. His web page is at www.hkstar.com/~chowdan/, and is an ultra-professional look. Clint wasted the last month of his work term at CESL creating the report that lead to this page.

Ian McElmoyle
Gene SimmonsIan, seen here doing his best to out-do Gene Simmons of KISS, was the first to start working at CESL; he was there for a total of six months, which showed how much he loved the place. A devoted anarchist (or maybe communist) he longed for the day that he could take the boots to the thickeners in the Ni/Co stage. He never realized his dream, but he did manage to break a $200 pH probe. Ian's currently in the bridging program at Camosun College, where he'll soon progress to UVic. He's got two other personalities, as evidenced by his e-mails. So, you can call him Ian, Brooke, or Beth. He'll answer to all three.

Ian just came off a couple months at the Department of Defense, where he put his AutoCAD skills to the test drawing rectangles and circles. He's either too lazy or too inept to put up his own web page, or maybe he's too busy thinking up propaganda for Fidel Castro.

There are a few miscellaneous items concerning the Fab Four. First, the theme song. It's called "The Chemical Worker's Song (Process Man)", and it's done by Great Big Sea. It describes work at CESL to a T.

The Chemical Worker's Song

(Chorus)
And it's "go boys go"
They'll time your every breath
And every day you're in this place
You're two days nearer death.
But you go...

Well a process man am I and I'm telling you no lie
I work and breathe among the fumes that trail across the sky
There's thunder all around me, and there's poison in the air
There's a lousy smell that smacks of Hell, and dust all in me hair

(Chorus)

Well I've worked among the spinners and I've breathed the oily smoke
I've shoveled up the gypsum and at night it makes you choke
I've stood knee-deep in cyanide and got sick with a caustic burn,
Been working rough I've seen enough to make your stomach turn.

(Chorus)

There's overtime and bonus opportunities galore
And young men like their money and they all come back for more
But soon you're knocking on and you look older than you should
For every bob made on the job you've paid in flesh and blood.

(Chorus)

Well a process man am I and I'm telling you no lie
I work and breathe among the fumes that trail across the sky
There's thunder all around me, and there's poison in the air
There's a lousy smell that smacks of Hell, and dust all in me hair

(Chorus * 2)

=END=

Our mascot is, of course, Santa's Little Helper.

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