IN THIS ISSUE
 Thousands
run riot in Kuala Lumpur
US
criticises police crackdown on demos
Police
recover lethal weapon from Reformasi supporter
Opticians
donate glasses to NUJ
Human
Rights Commission not an April Fool joke
Mahahtir's
call to restore democracy not an April Fool joke
Malaysia
in danger of losing world record
Melaka
Wall to prevent entry of 'bad influences'
Singapore
apology media reports
Philippines
rejects hostage rescue plan
Foreign
Ministry denies G77 rumour
UMNO
sends fact-finding mission to Zimbabwe
 ARCHIVES
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Reformasi
Diary
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Singapore apologises
over 'incorrect' media reports
| A spokesman for the Singapore High Commission
who refused to be named today issued a statement apologising for the controversy
surrounding reports in the Singapore media which Malaysia claims are incorrect.
The reports allegedly urged Singaporeans to stop visiting Malaysia due
to an outbreak of hand, foot and mouth disease.
The spokesman said that investigations indicated that
the reports were indeed incorrect. "It was all because of a simple
typographical error. It was not 'foot AND mouth' disease that was breaking
out in Malaysia - it was 'foot IN mouth' disease," he clarified.
He said teams from the Singapore Health Department had
determined that the "foot in mouth" epidemic would not affect
ordinary Singaporeans as it seems to attack only Malaysian senior politicians.
"'Foot-in-mouth' disease impairs their brain and vocal cord functions,
making them say incredibly stupid things, which they regret later, making
them look even more like morons."
He cited a very recent example where, for months, a sufferer
bravely declared in public that he was not frightened of testifying in
court, then suddenly wrote a 14-page affidavit saying he couldn't. "The
same sufferer even once said that Anwar Ibrahim beat himself up,"
the spokesman said. "You can see how this disease completely cripples
all brain functions."
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Suffers frequently from
foot-in-mouth disease
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Philippines declines Malaysian offer to rescue hostages
FRU ... only good against defenceless
students, women and children
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The Filipino government today declined an offer from
Malaysia to send in Federal Reserve Unit riot police to rescue the 20 hostages
abducted from Pulau Sipadan by suspected Muslim separatists this month.
There had been rumours of a bold Malaysian plan, involving
water cannons and tear gas being fired at the rebel headquarters, followed
by a baton charge by squads of FRU to extricate the hostages. Malaysian
sources had said that the storming of Anwar Ibrahim's house in 1998 and
the violent quelling of the Reformasi demonstrations in Kuala Lumpur clearly
showed the FRU's ability to conduct such a raid.
However, a Filipino government spokesman who refused to
be named said such a plan would probably be doomed to failure. "We
recognise that Malaysia's FRU - armed only with water cannon, tear gas,
automatic rifles and sub-machine guns - has shown great courage in fighting
unarmed, defenceless students, kids and old ladies in the streets of Kuala
Lumpur. But these rebels have rocket launchers and heavy machine guns,
fellas. And I don't think your riot police are used to people shooting
back."
"In fact, if you had more policemen guarding your
borders, instead of beating up old ladies in your capital city, we probably
wouldn't be in this bloody mess today!" the spokesman concluded respectfully.
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