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This pamphlet lays down the rules and by-laws of the BSA (Backroom Science Alliance). This first section deals with the main rules:

1. Gene splicing can only occur on fourth or fifth Tuesdays.

2. You can only mix 40 chemical elements at one time.

3. You can only pogo around the room 40 times in one day.

4. You can not hunt purple elephants.

5. No quacking at ducks between 3:00 AM and 9:00 AM.

6. There is no rule six.

7. No aardvark chewing in class!

This Section deals with things you must do to be in the BSA.

1. Eat a flower at least once a week!!!

2. Try hard to smell squirrels.

3. Never mention "Star Wars" around Al Taliffero!!!!!!!!!!

4. Do forty-two neck rolls each morning!

5. Eat yummy yak burgers!!!!

6. Grow talking mold.

This section of the pamphlet is to be the biggest of the happy hippos that are around in June. They are a friendly nut shell and are the only coal miners in Mexico. Unfortunately, there is no coal in Mexico. This affects the population of chinchillas in a grand scale invasion there after. Thus creating a mutant dino that ran rampant in Argentina for three days. This in no way affected the pigs in Cleveland!!!

THE WHIG PARTY

In order to ride on the Camel of Victory, you must follow these simple instructions:

1. There is no rule one.

1 1/42. No unauthorized visits to the old age home.

2 22/22. No losing tribes without permission!!

3. Only eat cookies with greenish-blue mold.

4. Yes.

5. Only on Tuesday.

6. Blue-green algae is our friend.

7. Smarty-smart-smart-smart.

99. Me encantan los papas fritas!!!

103. Know-Nothings (except The Know-Nothinger) and Civil Righters (except Barton the Exaggerator) are our biggest enemies!!!

36.25. Don't forget to pick your to"e" cheese.

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