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Trial
2004

( 98, 99, 00, 01, 02, 03, 05)

Contents


February

Scratch 10th February 04

(song lyrics)
You don't belong to me
And I don't belong to anybody
Sometimes I just want to feel
And sometimes I just want to hurt somebody

So you scratch, scratch, scratch away
And you scratch, scratch, scratch away
Until you bleed

You've never said to me
That I would even be somebody
I just want to believe
That someday I will be somebody's body.

So you scratch, scratch, scratch away
And you scratch, scratch, scratch away
Until you're red
(repeat and vary ad nauseam)

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March

Sleeper 8th March '04

Sleepers
Like Grave stones
Tell me
Are they are enough
For all the babes
Who never get to be
Do we grind our souls
To make our bread
Gnaw our bones
With choices, careless?

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Fiction 28th/29th March '04 ed.4th June 04

I was the girl next door
And I guess you'd say that hasn't changed
But it's not like all those movie, tv, story books
There are no boys next door

So I grew out of teenage pain
But those hormones aren't cut off
I'm always thinking here we go again
I'm still that same old desert
But the couple vultures are my friends

Why can't life be fiction
I'd rewrite this ending
Although I guess the story's not worn out
Still some miles to go
But I can't see how
They'll ever get me out of this one
No heros live here

In my experience
The boy don't get the girl
The girl don't get the boy
Strangers,
Do they have lower standards
Or do they get all the luck

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May

Class Act Juno 17th May '04

Sometimes
The laughing not the clown
The understanding not the dumb fool
Kept around to turn tricks
Not left outside
Sometimes.

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Cit / Imperfect 17th May '04 (variations)

Cit

You never put a foot wrong
Always in the best taste
Well I'm sorry I can't join your club
I only get the blues
I don't live in the dark
But it's still pain

Do you really get me
Or do you know me too well
I thought you understood
Like I don't
but I guess you don't either
We each only have half

Imperfect

You never put a foot wrong
Always in the best taste
Well I'm sorry I can't join your club
I only get the blues
I don't live in the dark
Do you get me or
Do you know me too well
I thought you understood
Like I don't you
But I guess you don't either
Since we each only go half way
Can I blame you for what you won't see?

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June

Helpless 4th June '05

You've got a mirror
So why don't you use it
Look at your face
What do you see?
Do you see beauty
Do you see pain
Do you see how I suffer too
When you hurt again

But it's not my suffering
Not my pain
I can go home and forget it all again
Does that make a bad person
Or just a little too sane

I'd like to be you life boat
But I only know how to let you drown
And be there while you dry out
I'm on the shore
Will you come home?

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Camera Obscura 17th June '04

I know the faces that live in some shadows
But don't know their names
As they mutter to your aching
I see marble and paint
Lay down my brash criticism
No fine lines for me
So I stay here passing hours
Hoping my love is bright flowers
Shining
In the dark noon of your day

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Stolen 27th June '04

They stole all my metaphors
They, who go before
So I say I'm hungry
It's not even necessary to speak
You know who I mean
My voice as unnecessary as a dream

There's this twinge
another heartbeat
Never satisfied

I obey obey obey
I am obedient
Where did being this good girl get me
I obey obey obey
Echo
I'm still hungry
But I can't lay it down
So I dance as if I'm burning
Temptation
Wheels are turning
Will I never learn to lay it down?

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September

Popular Boy 12th September '04

Should I feel sorry for you
Now you're the one in pain
You were the one with
Friends by the score
You were the one who
Girls all adored
You never had to
Guess how we'd all react
Wonder at the people
You may never attract
I'm sorry she is cruel
I'm sorry for those feelings
You feel
But a part of me wonders
If it isn't revenge
For an easy life
You had when you were a teen

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December

Cantrip 13th December '04

If you have no love
Then there's some to be found
Whosoever isn't searching
Has run aground

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Ice Maiden 13th December '04

Do you ever breathe deep
Of the cold winter air
Knowing there'll be someone to share the heat
In the dark of a room somewhere

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Cynic's Retreat 29th December '04

You should know better now
You should learn how to dream a better dream
It never matters what you'd wish to achieve
You still get the same as everyone else
I won't take second best
Except unknowing
But not knowing
Won't let my conscience rest

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Twilight December '04

The world's asleep
But I am waking
I am moving
I am on my way
I have no reindeer bells
No mythic voices
I am just awake
When I should be abed

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Not a poet December '04

I am not a poet
I am just mundane
I am not a poet
I am just a friend
I am not a poet
I don't speak with grandiloquence
I am not a poet
I am just ashamed
I don't dream in colours
Don't dance with adjectives
I don't manipulate grammar
Or other word games
I am not special
I am not a saint
I am not nothing
I am something
No-one else can ever be

End

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All poems © Gabrielle Koenig 2004, copying is only permitted for personal use.
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