WORDS

All of our daily activities, except perhaps sleeping or other bedroom events (we won't go there), are built on or around words. With this concept in mind, we want to review the use of words in the context of effective communication. We think there are some basic understandings that might be helpful and share them with you here. By setting the stage for better communication, we believe life can take on a much more enlightening and self-fulfilling quality. We wish that on each and everyone. It seems moot to try to discuss this without some agreement on what constitutes relationships wherein good communication has the best chance of occurring. Relationships, like animals in a zoo, come in all forms and descriptions. Asking the time of the stranger on the corner, giving a talk to your community club, getting the right cut of meat at the market, and whispering sweet nothings to your lover require words and communication skills, but they certainly are different animals. We take some time in our Opposites page to establish a framework for relationships and the reader might want to go there to look at some of the communication variables discussed. If not, proceed anyway.

Effective Verbal Communication
Effective communication, at the very least, depends on personal involvement in the importance of these considerations.

  1. The sharing of personal concerns in an open, responsive agreeable manner, such that each participant gets opportunity for input.
  2. An understanding that honesty not be breached without clear and agreed guidelines for withholding certain information.
  3. Active listening from a neutral frame of reference by each participant.
  4. Responsibility to, rather than for, each participant should exist as an established ground rule.
  5. Expectations of realism, credibility, reliability should guide each participant.
  6. Confidentiality, versus secrecy or conspiracy, should be a main tenet.
  7. Clarity of expression, definition of difficult terms, and verbal interaction at the level of clear understanding needs to be operationally maximized.
  8. Effective decision making resulting from accurate, factual input should be the primary intent of each participant.

Communication in Relationships
Using meaningful and well understood words, particularly in close relationships, is of much importance. Many of the problems that plague us daily are along this vein. Good communication becomes quite critical when we look at the diverse and different needs, experiences, and expectations that each of us bring to our interactions. We often view others as the main interference in our freedom. It is usually what they say that has more effect on us than what they do.
Even accepting the differences in the genders that we have highlighted on another page, there still seems the strongest probability that by way of a problem solving format, better relationship harmony might be achieved and more impossibilities might be resolved. We reviewed problem solving elsewhere...Click here stating that we would apply our problem solving technique to a few situations as we went along. Right here might be a good place and you might want to click back before continuing.
Going through a problem solving process to isolate some of the alternatives that are available to us in relationships, particularly those involving adult men and woman, can point us toward more rewarding personhood. By knowing what some of these alternatives are we can better deal with some of the pertinent issues. We can square off to fight for our viewpoint and defend our rights. We can meekly surrender and suffer the consequences. We can laugh it off and push the issue into our unconsciousness. We can organize our forces to get revenge and equate our losses. We can set up a plan of action that will selfishly serve our best purposes. What was that last one again? As you can see we are going through the very expedient process of looking at as many of the alternatives or options that are available. That's the best way we know to handle these situations. Click over to our Attitudes page for more description on our plan to selfishly serve our own purposes.

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