PROBLEMS
Most of us are placed in situations daily that demand a decision on our part and that often requires us to act on that decision. We make these decisions according to our very best judgments at that time, then take the very best action we are capable of respecting that decision and situation. If it turns out that was the best decision, all well and good. If it turns out that the decision and/or action was not the best, we are faced with correcting it or, at least, acting on the knowledge gained from the outcome. In the latter situation, we consider the action to be a mistake. What we do from here on is very important.
Mistakes As Motivators
Mistakes have differing effects on many of us. Some just put the information in their bonnet and go on with their life. Others are debilitated, demoralized, and discouraged to the brink of self destruction...or worse. Most of us fall in between these two extremes. Some of us blame others, some of us blame ourselves, some of us become overwrought with guilt and shame, others freeze and refuse to make additional decisions, ad infinitum. But, it is the action that follows the mistake that can make the most difference. Mistakes must be accepted as elemental to ever achieving success. Only through action is success gained and it is only in the course of action that mistakes will be made. Deciding not to do something, of course, may be a mistake itself, but not doing anything also fits our definition of deciding and acting. Deciding not to do something is a decision. In other words, before the mistake is made--or in such case, made again--a choice of appropriate action is selected from among many possible and available choices. Once the choice is made and the action undertaken, the choice is the best choice, and can be accepted as that. By engaging in a problem solving process, one can get to the alternative that will be the very best alternative at that time for remedying, perhaps only in part, the mistaken action. Instead of making the mistake and then choosing, an improved effort might be to select the best alternative first.
Avoiding Mistakes
Accepting our mistakes doesn't have to mean we'll accept that we will keep on making them, even though mistakes are inevitable. We just want to improve our mistake avoiding skills and we can do this through clear thought processes that help us understand what we really want to do. Here's how to avoid some mistakes:
Identifying goals
The most real way to determine what choices exist for us seems to emerge from an understanding of goals that are accessible and the methods for attaining these goals. Identifying goals is not an easy task. Some of the effort to achieve this found useful is rather rigorous and draws on some highly refined skills. It certainly appears that you can choose to do the things that will make life a little better for you or you can choose to do otherwise. One of the best methods in determining what one really wants to do is the good `ole reliable scientific problem solving procedure and is outlined for our reference here.
The Basic Problem Solving Method
Although simplified, that is really all there is to it. Having any structure is better than no structure at all. You can make it as difficult as your needs require, but the plan works itself. You can adapt the structure of the problem solving process to many situations. When you get bogged down on any problem, at least give it a try. When you have a method, it's easier to reset your thinking. (In our original work, we go into detail and give examples of how this works in many situations.) Learning how to use one or more alternative choices constructively can become a means to a more desirable end...of many problems.
Return to the HELP ME! index page.