I read a definition of retreat recently that read: "A place of refuge, seclusion, or privacy." In the text I was reading it then talked of retreat times as being times of going apart, sometimes alone, and sometimes with others when God may surprise us with some new insight, some new way of sizing up a situation, some fresh vision for living our lives. That's just what happened when I made my first trip to a resort.

It was a personal retreat of sorts because I was alone and wanting to celebrate God's creation. Did God surprise me? You bet. I found that being "naked and unashamed" in nature with others that enjoy being nude feels wonderful and there's nothing wrong with it. My fresh vision for life is that I do enjoy being nude with others of like mind, and that personally, it's a way for me to celebrate the freedom I have in Christ.

So, here's the day, my retreat into finding a wonderful way of life that I now want to take part in as often as possible. I discovered that there is an inner monster, a good monster, which emerged during the day. It also helped that I had been house sitting during the week and got very used to being outdoors nude.

I had put towels, water, maps, etc., in a small backpack last night before I went to bed. I got up and took care of the animals at the house where I'm staying at night and part of the days. (Haven't locked myself out again!) Finally got dressed in what I was going to where out to the resort. I decided on a button front shirt that has gotten way too big for me, as has everything, and a loose pair of shorts. Nothing underneath, so I could get out of them easily. Walked the dog, came back in and prayed again. Every time I've prayed about it this week, I've had a since of peace come over me. That's awesome! So I left around 9:45, made one stop and started out. I'm from the side of San Antonio where this is closest too, so I actually knew some shortcuts. On the way out, I was on a highway and decided I knew where I was going, no one was going to notice and unbuttoned and unzipped the shorts. (First sign of monster.) It took about 30-40 minutes to drive out and once I hit the gravel road that leads to it after about 2 miles, I decided, what the hey, and unbuttoned my shirt. I had no problem finding it, and rang the bell to the office like I had done it hundreds of times. I told him who I was and that I had emailed his wife and he buzzed me in. I'm driving past RV's, look to my right and there's a nude man at a table. I had a small lump in my throat about that time; please note I said small. So I get to the parking area in front of the office...

What was that about staying dressed during the "tour" the website spoke of? Before I got out of the car, in fact, before I opened the door, I was undressed! I walked into the office and met Dave, the male half of the husband and wife who own it. The fact that he was nude didn't bother me, and the fact that this was the first time I was nude in front of someone didn't seem to bother me. (The monster continuing to emerge!) We talked a bit, he gave me a newsletter and more rules, and showed me the restaurant/hall, took me out on the deck area that overlooks the pool, hot tub, and the beautiful green meadow, as he called it that butts up against the banks of the San Antonio River. Dave then informed that since this was my first time there, it was on them. I went back to the car, got my bottle of water and headed to the pool area where a couple was "floating" along on a float. They were the only ones in the pool, but while Dave showed me around, we passed by several people, who I presume live there.

The couple introduced themselves and asked if this was my first time. Yes! (Easy to tell with the bizarre tan lines I have.) And I sat down to put sunscreen on. I stood up and asked how the water was. They told me it was a little cool, but I'd get used to it. And as I responded to Kevin the other day in a post, I always "dive" into the pool anyway. I don't like messing around with first a toe, and then a foot, and then...too slow for an ADHD person! So I dove into the 8-foot end. What was that about never wanting to swim in a suit again? AAAHHHHH! That is an incredible feeling of freedom. So I swam for a while and the three of us talked. They went to their camper to eat lunch and I swam for a while longer. I decided I should check out the "meadow." I got out and walked around for a while. It was gorgeous, and it FELT GREAT! I sat in the shade for a while under a tree. The wind was blowing and as you all know, that too feels wonderful!

I decided to go back to the pool and cool off. About ten minutes later, the same couple came back and we talked some more. Then another gentleman came to the pool. The "handy man" was doing various things, nude of course. And I thought about being nude a couple of times, but it never bothered me. I wasn't nervously bothered by it. I was more excitedly thinking about it!

This couple was a pastor and his wife from here in San Antonio. They go out for at least a day every week. (Was this some kind of divine guidance?) We talked a little about music and church and freedom.

About 1:45 I decided I had probably had about as much heat (and sun) as I could deal with, considering that I got overheated last night and got sick. So I packed up, went to the office and talked with Dave and thanked him for letting me come, and jokingly asked him how far down the road did I HAVE TO get dressed! (Fully emerged monster!) I ended up with my shirt on, slowly buttoning it as I got to more civilization, and didn't put my shorts on until I pulled into the driveway.

Freedom kept playing over and over in my head today. I found myself walking in that meadow area "talking" to God and thanking him for giving me the freedom in him, through His Son's death and resurrection, to be able to "walk naked and unashamed" enjoying the creation He made me, and all of us to be. It is truly freeing, literally and figuratively, to be nude and to enjoy it as long as we do for all the right reasons, including a freeing of the mind. I was so mentally and physically relaxed when I left. Do you think I could convince a doctor to write me a prescription for that? "I prescribe at least one day a week for Nancy to go to a nudist resort." (My folks wouldn't buy it at all!)

I'm somewhat amazed at myself for how I felt today. I've always been a risk taker to an extent, but I felt so ready and so right about it, that the closer I got, the more I was acting like a little kid, "When can I take my clothes off? Am I there yet?" And then to have driven in, parked and not even opened the door before I undressed really surprised me. It was really a feeling of being a child before God. Retreating, as it may be, to a more innocent time. I got out of the car like a pro, without walking slow, trying to hide anything, or even lock my keys in the car! Just like a young child might go bounding out the door, nude, on a summer day.

To know where I was two months ago, mentally, about naturism and finally be able to equate that mental feeling with the physical feeling of being naked in front of others was the ultimate!

Am I kicking myself about not doing this sooner? I don't think so. Being a strong believer in God's time, this was when I was supposed to go to a resort. I think it has taken this sharp learning curve of the past couple of months to get me to this point. If I had gone two months ago, I could have easily chickened out. But I've become even more accustomed to my body and strengthened my faith and beliefs since June. I really think it was my faith and beliefs that had me undressing before I opened the car door. I was truly ready to enjoy God's creation of me among others. That was personal. But to have the freedom of knowing that I wasn't going to "get caught" was wonderful and I was among people who, like me, enjoy the freedom of being nude.

Am I ready to go back? I'm already trying to find that day. I'm so stoked and so excited! I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Didn't get sunburned. Met some really nice people and I'm ready to go again at the drop of a hat when I can find the time. This personal retreat to find that God did surprise with showing me that I am His child and His creation and shouldn't be ashamed of what He called "good" was life changing. I wrote in a post a while back, regarding the freedom we have in Christ and thus the freedom we have in life because of Him that "I think I got it!" Well, now I can safely change that to, "I know I got it!"

Blessings as we all retreat to the ultimate freedom in Him!

--Nancy

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