I grew up in the country about sixty miles north of Los Angeles. My father worked on a rather large ranch and I spent much of my time roaming the hills surrounding our home. I was much younger than my siblings and, as we lived in the country, the nearest friends lived several miles away. Because of this, I spent most of my time alone. My mother was very religious and so I had a sense of God in my life, although not the way she would have liked it. While in my beloved hills, I would sometimes remove my shoes and socks, something I was never allowed to do at home, and enjoy the feeling of the warm earth beneath my feet. Other times I would take off all my clothing and feel the freedom of nature as God had intended it. Being naked in nature gave me a sense of being close to God and I relished those times, although I was scared to death that I would be caught and my mother would find out. My mother had been raped by her father and so she had a lot of issues with body shame and thought that any nakedness, even going barefoot, was shameful and disgusting. My parents were divorced and we had to leave my beloved hills and move to town; so much for being naked in nature.

Years later, I discovered that there was a beach nearby where people went nude and top free. I was a beach person and so it was not long before I visited this beach. I was married at the time and my wife was all for it. As soon as we got settled on the beach she removed her top and sat down. I struggled with wanted to dump the suit but years of my mother’s teaching about how shameful the body was would not let me do it. I told my wife that I was going for a walk and headed down the beach. I was really struggling with the whole thing when I passed a couple of girls laying out. One was nude and the other top free. I stopped some way from them and just sat on the sand looking out to the water and wanting with all my heart to recapture the days of my freedom in the hills.

Finally, I could not stand it any longer/ I stood up, dropped the shorts and went into the water for a swim and some protection in case my body decided to “rise to the occasion.” I felt so free swimming nude and it was wonderful. After a few minutes I got out of the water, walked to where I left my suit and retrieved it and headed back to where my wife was. While I was gone she had struck up a conversation with some people nearby. Some of them were nude some where not. When she saw me come back, she met me where we had left our stuff and she immediately dropped the bottom to her suit. We enjoyed the rest of the day as God intended his people to be. The people that my wife had visited with told her of another beach not far from Santa Barbara and we visited that beach many times.

At that time, I was not a Christian, even though I had been raised in the church. I knew something was missing in my life and was on the verge of a breakdown when the Lord came to me and I accepted the gift of grace offered through Jesus. I will not claim to say that my life made an immediate turn around. I was closer, but years of repressive religion and negative teaching kept me holding much of Christianity at arms length. I tried to be a “good Christian” is many respects and the visits to nude beaches was one of the things that I gave up.

After seven years of marriage, my wife decided the grass was greener in someone else’s pasture and took our two children and left me. I was devastated! I turned my back on God and vowed never to think of him again. I visited the nude beach a few times, but suddenly felt lecherous because I was so lonely and on the search for female companionship.

I met my present wife through her sister whom I worked with. She was a very strong Christian. After many years and thousands upon thousands of prayers, she and the Lord reached me again. It was not long after that he began to hear a call to ministry. I ignored that call for about four years until I could take it no longer. I entered seminary and took my first church in 1998. Through those years with my second wife, we enjoyed some time at beaches where I would go nude, but felt guilty because my wife would not even be top free and she thought that my actions were not right. It was not that she thought the body shameful, just that it was not how a good Christian acted. I gave it up for many years. After entering the ministry is was not even a consideration.

About two and a half years ago, I began having dreams where I was out in the wilderness, naked, and communing with God. It was as if I saw myself as some sort of Elijah or John, living the ascetic life. I tried to understand what these dreams were telling me, but figured they were just my goofy sub-conscience wanting to go back to being a naturist. I had been practicing contemplative prayer for some years and began to get the urge, the prodding to spent my time praying, nude. I thought this very un-pastorly behavior and ignored it. Finally, I could stand it no longer and stood up and took off my clothes and sat back down. It was wonderful. Where I feared that I would feel shame coming before God naked, I felt as I had in the hills of my childhood. It was wonderful! I began searching the internet for Christian naturist sites and found that there were many who believed that God created our bodies and that it was nothing to be ashamed of. Since that time I have gone nude at home more and more. My wife thinks that it is a little strange, but not necessarily bad. Unfortunately, she has said she has no desire to join me in this and this makes me very sad. We are not just husband and wife, but best of friends and I really don’t like doing things without her. She has begun to spend more time naked in the house since the last of our children has flown the nest. Maybe someday.

I confess that I fear what my church would do if they found out. Most of these people are under the belief that it is a sin to be naked in mixed company. I went through a church split and breakup and I have no desire to do it again nor to have them ask me to leave. My nudity is very important to me, but not important enough to hurt my brothers and sisters in the Lord. I ache for the freedom to enjoy nature and like company, but don’t want to hurt anyone who is not mature in faith enough to see that it is all right. I can only pray that I will soon be set free.

--Nakedspirit

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