Each man's mode of speaking of the sexual
relation proves how
sacred his own relations of that kind are. We do not respect the mind that
can jest on this subject.
I am made somewhat sad this afternoon by the coarseness and vulgarity
of my companion, because he is one with whom I have made myself intimate.
He inclines latterly to speak with coarse jesting of facts which should
always be treated with delicacy and reverence. I lose my respect
for the man who can make the mystery of sex the subject of a coarse jest,
yet, when you speak earnestly and seriously on the subject, is silent.
I feel that this is to be truly irreligious. Whatever may befall
me, I trust that I shall never lose my respect for purity in others.
The subject of sex is one on which I do not wish to meet a man at all unless
I can meet him on the most inspiring ground,....if his view degrades,
and does not elevate. I would preserve purity in act and thought,
as I would cherish the memory of my mother. A companion can possess
no worse quality than vulgarity. If I find that he is not habitually
reverent of the fact of sex, I, even I, will not associate with him.
I will cast the first stone. What were life without some religion
of this kind? Can I walk with one who by his jests and by his habitual
tone reduces the life of men and women to a level with that of cats and
dogs? The
man who uses such a vulgar jest describes his relation
to his dearest friend. Impure that I am, I could protect and worship
purity. I can have no really serious conversation with my companion.
He seems not capable of it. The men whom I most esteem, when they
speak at all on this subject, do not speak with sufficient reverence. They
speak to men with a coarseness which they would not use in the presence
of women, and I think they would feel a slight shame if a woman coming
in should hear their remarks. A man's speech on this subject should,
of course, be ever as reverent and chaste and simple as if it were to be
heard by the ears of maidens. What can be the character
of such mens' love? It is ever the subject of a stale jest, though
their health or dinner can be seriously considered. The glory of
the world can be seen only by a chaste mind.
This is the difference between lust and love: that this is fixed, that volatile.
Love grows, lust wastes by enjoyment: And the reason is, that one springs
from an union of souls, and the other from an union of sense. Sex
is a physical thing; love is a spiritual
thing. To whomsoever this
fact is not an awful but beautiful mystery, there are no flowers in
nature.
I am sure that the design of my maker when he has brought me nearest
to woman was not the propagation, but the maturation, of the species.
Man is capable of a love of woman quite transcending marriage. Does
not the history of chivalry and knight-errantry suggest or point to another
relation to woman than leads to marriage, yet an elevating and all-absorbing
one. As yet men know not one another, nor does man know woman.
The love of the sexes is initial, and
symbolizes
at a distance, the passion of the soul for that immense
lake of beauty it exists to seek. Thus we are put in training for a love that
knows not sex, nor partiality, but which seeks virtue and wisdom everywhere.
That which is so beautiful and attractive as these relations are, must be
succeeded and supplanted only by what is more beautiful,, and so on forever.
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