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- If a man goes after money he's money mad, if he doesn't go after it he lacks ambition. If he keeps it he's a miser, if he spends it he's extravagant. If he inherits it he's a parasite , if he earns it after a lifetime of hard labour, he's a fool who got nothing out of life.
- If a man is poor he has no sense. If he is rich he is obedient. If he goes to church he is a hypocrite. If he stays away he is a sinner. If he is in politics he is a grafter, if he takes no interest in politics he is an undesirable citizen. If he dies young there was a great future ahead of him, if he lives to a ripe age he is lagging superflously on the stage of life. The only man who is never criticised is the one who has never been born.
- If a preacher's hair is grey, he is too old; if he's a young man he hasn't the experience. If he has six children he has too many, if he has none he should have and isn't setting a good example. If his wife sings in the choir she is presuming, if she doesn't she isn't interested in her husband's work. If a preacher reads from notes he is a bore, if he speaks extemporaneously he's superficial. If he stays at home in his study he doesn't mix enough with the people, if he is seen outdoors he ought to be home getting a good sermon. If he calls on some poor people he's pretending benevolence, if he calls at the home of the rich he's a snob. Whatever he does he can never satisfy his church members.
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