06...

  1. Blood, they say is like a parachute. Chances are if it's not there when you need it, you will probably never need it again.
  2. Why is the person who snores always the first one to fall asleep?
  3. Happiness, like an old friend, is inclined to drop in unexpectedly when you're working hard at something else.
  4. A politician will always be there when he needs you.
  5. Good judgement comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgement.
  6. ***** An Accountant is someone who comes to a different conclusion when he adds your expenses.
  7. The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human can alter his life by altering his attitude.
  8. A mistake nurtured is like a wheel stuck in a hole. The cart of pride stubbornly tries to get out but only drives the wheel deeper and deeper into the hole.
  9. A man cannot call himself free if his freedom is based on the oppression of others.
  10. A successful marriage/relationship requires falling in love several times with the same person.
  11. A nation breaks down when its people become too serious to set their hearts on toys.
  12. Two great talkers will not travel far together.
  13. Virtually nothing comes out right the first time. Repeated failures are the signs on the roads to achievement. The only time you don't fail is the last time you try something and it works. One fails forward towards success.
  14. Where dreams end faith begins.
  15. Commedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
  16. Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk.
  17. One of the advantages of a clean life is that you can distinguish between influenza and hangover.
  18. A plan is what we want to do. A budget is why we can't.
  19. Oh give me a clone of myself,
    Of my flesh and bone,
    With the Y chromosome changed to X,
    And when she is grown,
    My very own clone,
    Will be of the opposite sex.
      Chorus;
      Clone, clone of my own,
      With the Y chromosome changed to X,
      And when we are alone,
      Since her mind is my own,
      She'll be thinking of nothing but sex.
  20. Tell me whom you love, and I'll tell you who you are (---Creole Proverb) .
  21. The history of liberty is the history of the limitation of government power.
  22. Success is getting what you want.
    Happiness is liking what you get (--- H. Jackson Brown).
  23. Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.
  24. Yes, risk-taking is inherently failure-prone. Otherwise, it would be called sure-thing-taking. (--- Tim McMahon).
  25. A friend is a lot of things, but a critic he isn't.
  26. You can't depend on your judgement when your imagination is out of focus.
  27. Blessed are they who have nothing to say and who cannot be persuaded to say it (--- James Russel Lowell).
  28. The reputation of a thousand years may be determined by the conduct of one hour (--- Japanese Proverb).
  29. To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides (--- David Viscott).
  30. Nothing valuable can be lost by taking time (--- Abraham Lincoln).
  31. * That's being rich...
    • Their house was so big that it was nine o'clock in the kitchen and eleven o'clock in the dining room.
    • He was so rich that he had a chauffeured motor scooter.
    • Word spread like red wine on a white tuxedo.
    • He spends money like a lottery winner with a month to live.
  32. Talk is cheap - until you hire a lawyer.
  33. A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has a better lawyer (--- Robert Frost).
  34. No poet ever interpreted nature as freely as a lawyer interprets truth.
  35. A man may as well try to open an oyster without a knife, as a lawyer's mouth without a fee (--- Barton Holyday).
  36. Lawyers spend a great deal of their time shovelling smoke.
  37. A peasant between two lawyers like a fish between two cats (--- Spanish Proverb).
  38. A lawyer and a cart wheel must be greased (--- German Proverb).
  39. A lawyer is a learned gentleman who rescues your estate from your enemies and keeps it for himself (--- Lord Brougham).
  40. A lawyer with a briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns.
  41. An incompetent attorney can delay a trial for years. A competent attorney can delay one even longer.
  42. Mom is the word...
    • MOTHER'S HELPER: What every child suddenly becomes when (s)he wants to borrow money.
    • MOTHER'S TONGUE: The only tongue on earth that has ever had to utter, "Did you flush?", to another member of its species.
    • MOTHER-TO-BE: Woman who still takes sleeping through the night and doing errands alone for granted.
    • WORKING MOTHER: What a woman becomes the instant she leaves the maternity ward.
    • MOTHER'S DAY: What is made each time a child uses such beautiful words as "I love you" or "Thank you".
  43. Memory
    One had a lovely face,
    And two or three had charm,
    But charm and face were in vain,
    Because the mountain grass,
    Cannot but keep the form,
    Where the mountain lion has lain.
  44. The more I study the more I know,
    The more I know the more I forget,
    The more I forget the less I know,
    The less I know the more I study,
    So why study.
  45. Rich people do not get the necessary roughage in their food and poor people do not get the necessary food in their roughage.
  46. There is no fool like a fool who thinks he is fooling you.
  47. What this country needs is not more money but more people who have some of it.
  48. There is no fool like an old fool because he has more experience.
  49. * Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, teach a man how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime (--- Japanese Proverb).
  50. The richest natural resource of any country is its people (--- Eddison Zvobgo).
  51. Seize me if I should try to escape and take me back to my master.
  52. Why should I marry? I am in love with the law.
  53. None that I love than myself.
  54. Atheism is a folly, and atheists are the greatest fools in nature for they see there is no world that could make itself but will not own there is a GOD that made it.
  55. Provocative new surveys reveal a nation where most claim to be religious but few take their faith seriously.
  56. Let those in power not despise the advice and assistance of others, but desire it and be thankful for it, not coveting to monopolise wisdom and power. In a multitude of counsellors there is safety.
  57. Man in his natural state is in revolt against GOD, estranged and hostile. Firmness of faith will be evidence of the reality of reconciliation.
  58. To be prayerless is to be guilty of the worst form of practical atheism.
  59. A man of style is a man who can smile.
  60. Meddle not with what boils in another man's pot.
  61. R.I.P. - Rise if possible.
  62. If you pick a starving dog and feed him and make him prosper, definitely he will not bite you... That's the principal difference between a man and a dog.
  63. There's no future in being gay.
  64. Yes! Everything was no different before it all changed.
  65. It's forbidden to forbid.
  66. Shake hands with your best friend
    Shake hands with the unemployed.
  67. Stamp out vandalism or I'll break your windows.
  68. Down with protests; up with graffiti.
  69. Faith can move mountains - She's a big girl.
  70. Never make fun of people who speak broken English. It means they know another language.
  71. Remember, it's not your job to get people to like you; it's your job to like people.
  72. To help children turn out well, spend twice as much time with them and half as much money (--- H Jackson Brown).
  73. The plan of GOD is for us to prosper. If you fail you chose to fail.
  74. Gold can be bought at the price of clay.
  75. If you sin you fall short of the glory of GOD but remain in his presence.
  76. The Lord is faithful from generation to generation.
  77. Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you will never go any higher than you think.
  78. When love beckons to you, follow him... though his voice may shatter your dreams.
  79. You may forget the one with whom you have laughed, but never the one with whom you have wept.
  80. Among intelligent people the surest basis for marriage is friendship - the sharing of real interests - the ability to fight out ideas together and understand each other's thoughts and dreams.
  81. Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair, but manifestations of strength and resolutions.
  82. Only the dumb envy the talkative.
  83. The secret of being miserable is to have the leisure to bother about whether you are happy or not. The cure is occupation.
  84. I would rather entertain and hope that people learned something than educate people and hope they were entertained (--- Walt Disney).
  85. I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
  86. You never find yourself until you face the truth.
  87. When I hear somebody sigh, "Life is hard," I am always tempted to ask, "Compared to what?".
  88. You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers. You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions.
  89. It is good to vary, in order that you may frustrate the curious, especially those who envy you.
  90. Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.
  91. Start with what is right rather than what is acceptable.
  92. The world is moving so fast these days that the man who says it can't be done is generally interrupted by someone doing it.
  93. I am a great believer in luck. The harder I work the more of it I seem to have.
  94. In diving to the bottom of pleasure we bring up more gravel than pearls.
  95. It is very hard to be in love with someone who no longer loves you, but it is far worse to be loved by someone with whom you are no longer in love.
  96. The hardest task of a girl's life is to prove to a man that his intentions are serious (--- Helen Rowland).
  97. Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for kindness.
  98. It is through science that we prove, but through intuition that we discover.
  99. I understand life isn't fair, but why couldn't it just once be unfair in my favour?
  100. A child tells in the street what its father and mother say at home.
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