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	A dame who was born under Aries
	Consults stars on each man she marries.
		Although she gets hope,
		From each horoscope,
	Her husbands turn out to be fairies.

	A hat trick is 3 winning plays,
	That's what the dictionary says,
		But isn't it a hat trick
		When one waves a stick,
	And out of his head gear hare raise.

	There once was a mouse eating cheese,
	Who made a terrible sneeze.
		His whiskers vibrated;
		He got carbon dated.
	And now he's been put in deep freeze.

	A German who makes clothing so neat,
	Asked his patron to please take a seat.
		"So, you do like dis stress,
		It fits perfectly, yes?
	Now ve  just need some shoes for defeat.

	Heard of the good Monster from Loch Ness,
	He had this mantra to defeat stress -
		"A very simple rule,
		For every fat fool,
	Don't look at mirror while you undress."

	The immaculate Sir Walter Raleigh,
	Had a terrible row with his valet,
		Who, on seeing his cloak,
		Cried: 'You lousy old soak,
	You've been rolling about in the alley.'

	Yes, life is a bit enigmatic,
	And happiness not automatic,
		But murder, of course,
		With a smidgeon of force,
	May be neatly performed in the attic.

	There once was a man named Rick,
	Whose legs were as thin as a stick.
		He told his dog, Fletch,
		To go out and "Fetch!"
	So the dog brought Rick back quick.

	A hopeful old fellow called Rousseau,
	Saw that man was not born bad, but grew so;
		If you change his surrounding,
		You'll find grace abounding -
	You must turn the clock back to do so.

	If you feel that you're right on your beam ends,
	If your gait is more rolling than seamen's,
		And if camels in helmets,
		March over the pelmets,
	You've a touch of delirium tremens.