The Planet of the Meatballs
A SC fanfic by KayLynn
Part 2
…The 'Cases are laboriously hiking up the meatball, stopping every now and then for a breather…
Harlan: Just how big is this thing, anyway?
Radu: Too big.
Bova: Can we stop now? I'm hungry.
Catalina: So what else is new?
Harlan: But what are we going to eat? We didn't bring any supplies from the Christa.
…They all look at Harlan strangely. He looks around…
Harlan: Oh.
Comdr. Goddard: I suppose we might as well.
Rosie: Um, Commander? I'm a vegetarian…
Comdr. Goddard: Oh, yes, that's right…THELMA, why don't you and Rosie go on to the shore and get her some spaghetti? We'll meet you there.
THELMA: Okay, Commander.
Rosie: C'mon, THELMA. I love spaghetti!
…Rosie and THELMA head up the meatball. The others sit down on their jackets (Ms. Davenport stands, not wanting to get greasy), and after fifteen messy minutes get up again…
Catalina: If we get off this planet alive, I am never going to eat another meatball.
Bova: Me neither…maybe…
Ms. Davenport: Well, perhaps we should move on now.
Comdr. Goddard: I agree. Let's go, people.
…They resume their trek up the meatball. Finally, they reach the top…
Comdr. Goddard: There's a pretty good view from here, team. Look around - we have to find something to get the Christa space-worthy.
Radu: I see another meatball over that-a-way. And there are some tan-colored things next to it, but I can't tell what those are.
…They all squint in that direction, trying to figure out what the objects are. Finally, Ms. Davenport realizes that they are…
Ms. Davenport: Breadsticks!
Comdr. Goddard: What?
Ms. Davenport: Those things over there. They're breadsticks!
Harlan: How are breadsticks going to get us outta here?
Catalina: Well…
Radu: "Well…"?
Catalina: Well, I think that if we could get one part-way under the Christa, we could use the leverage to pry the ship out from under the spaghetti. But Suzee isn't sure that it would work. It all depends on how crisp the breadsticks are…whether or not they would bend under the pressure.
Bova: Or they could break, if they were too crisp.
Everyone: Bova…
Bova: Well, they could!
Comdr. Goddard: It's worth a try. Let's go meet Rosie and THELMA. They're over that way.
…The 'Cases head down the meatball to rejoin Rosie and THELMA. In his hurry to get down, Harlan trips on a bump and starts tumbling down the meatball, head-over-heels…
Harlan: Ouch! Ackk!
Catalina: Harlan!
…Everybody starts running after him. Bouncing down the meatball, Harlan is gaining speed. With a final, almost-graceful bounce, he lands face-first in the spaghetti sea. Trying not to smile, Radu helps him up. Rosie runs over, attempting to contain her giggles (and not doing that good a job of it)…
Comdr. Goddard: Mr. Band! Are you okay?
Harlan: I'm fine.
Catalina: You look good in red, Harlan.
Harlan: *glares at her*
Comdr. Goddard: THELMA!
…As usual, she comes up right behind him…
THELMA: Yes, Commander?
Comdr. Goddard: HOW do you…nevermind. THELMA, we want to go over to that meatball, and get those breadsticks to use to pry the Christa out of the spaghetti. How long would swimming over there take?
THELMA: Two minutes and thirty-six seconds.
Bova: We can't! What about the worms?
Comdr. Goddard: They're not deadly. They just…pinch a little. Besides, it's that or stay on this planet for the rest of our lives. What do you say, people?
…They look thoughtful for a moment, and then nod assent…
Radu: We'll just have to swim fast.
Bova: We'll probably get tangled up in the spaghetti and drown…
Everyone: Bova!!!
Ms. Davenport: Well, if we must do this, I'd say we should get it over with.
Comdr. Goddard: I agree. Okay team, on "3." 1…2…
…3! The 'Cases all jump into the spaghetti and start swimming. Every so often, one of them gets pinched by a worm, but after two minutes and thirty-six seconds they arrive at the meatball and clamber onto the shore…
Catalina: Ooh, my neck… Those darn worms!
Harlan: You think you got pinched…
Rosie: It wasn't too bad, guys.
Radu: Well, c'mon, let's go look at the breadsticks!
…After walking along the shore for a stretch, they come upon the beached breadsticks…
Catalina: These are exactly the right crispness! …What? No, they are not too crisp, Suzee!
Ms. Davenport: Talking to your imaginary friend again, Catalina?
Catalina: She's not imaginary, she's invisible! There's a difference!
Harlan: Uh-huh.
…Catalina starts arguing with Harlan. Meanwhile, the others are discussing how best to use the breadsticks…
End Part 2
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