Night Time Fiasco
Summary: It's now 9 days and 18 hours to the wedding. The three of the four males of the Scooby Gang get a bit drunk...
*****
Xander yawned as he looked at the library clock. It was only one o’clock in the morning.”Well, Oz, we’ve got five hours to go until you’re back to your normal lesser hair state again.”
The Ozwolf growled as he paced in his cage, then leaped at Xander.”Yep, keep on growling my good man, you should do it in time to music, bet you could make a whole lotta money that way. Speaking of money, who the hell knew that Angel was so rich? I guess the dead *can* take it with them. Providing of course, if you’re a vampire.”
The Ozwolf growled. Xander took it as a form of agreement as he sat on the table.”Yep, good looks, money, he’s got that. But a personality? Nah. Facial expressions? So far I’ve only seen four. Five, if you count when he was Angelus. He’s got his happy, sad, hurt and annoyed face. And the maniacal ‘I’m going to destroy you’ look he occasionally gets when I zing him. Whaddya think, Oz?”
When the Ozwolf growled, Xander nodded again.”Yep, that’s what I thought. Which reminds me, what are we doing about Expression Guy’s bachelor party? Cordy said that if you’re planning a strip joint thing, she’s opting for a strip joint thing with Buffy. Any idea what Willow said?”
Xander nodded again as the Ozwolf leaped on to the chains of the cage.”Yep. That’s what I thought she’d say. What did you say?”
The Ozwolf snarled at him, and Xander nodded wisely.”She didn’t go for it, huh? And do you now what Buffy would say...is that singing?”
Xander got up from the table and quietly got the tranq rifle and aimed it at the door. The voices from the hallway grew louder.
“And she wore blue~ velvet! Oooo~Wah~Oooo!”sang a slurred voice. Xander frowned as he lowered the gun.”Oooo~Wah~Oooo~! Starry, starry night!”
Angel came in propped up by Giles who was none to stable himself. Both were carrying bottles of whiskey and scotch, respectively.”Let’s sing another song that you know...how about some Beatles.”
Giles propped himself up.”Heavens no! They have no memorable lyrics! All that singing about a hard day’s night to Jude about letting it be then getting back! Now, if you want lyrics, you need to sing to who was that again? That Clapton fellow with the other men? Oh, hello Xander! What are you doing here in my room?”
“Oh, it’s Ear Guy. Yo, kid! What’s up? Keepin’ an eye on my best man or is man’s best friend right now? Guess it doesn’t matter, ‘cause I ain’t really a man. Just a vampire. What’s doin’ Oz?”Angel asked as he peered into the cage.”Woof, woof, Oz!”
Ozwolf leaped on to the chains again and growled. Angel grinned as he growled back, then lifted his bottle of whiskey to the werewolf.”Bottoms up!”
Angel leaned more heavily against as he took a swig, Giles swayed, and Xander quickly put the gun away to help steady the older man.“Easy, guys. Don’t want to get into the hospital before the wedding...”
“The wedding!”Angel groaned as he laid prostate on the table.”It’s 9 days and...what time is it?”
“It’s 1:30 in the morning,”Xander said as he propped up Giles against the library counter some more. “Giles, give me the bottle.”
Giles merely watched Xander as he tried to take the scotch bottle from him.”Nope, young man, it’s mine. Go get your own. Are you wearing a green bib?”
Xander looked down at his large paisley green tie.”No, it’s a neck tie.”
“Oh. Why are you here? Where’s Willow?”Giles demanded.”Is Oz here? Oh, there he is. Good werewolf.”
“Will got a call from Oz’s dad,”Xander said as he tried to pry the bottle from Giles’s hand again.”He’s stuck on the road and needed to be picked up. Willow caught me just as I got home from dinner with Cordy. Didn’t have time to change.”
“It’s 9 days 16 hours and 30 minutes before I can my hands on Buffy,”Angel declared. He tried to focus on the ceiling.”Hey Rupe! Did you know that there’s a really strange pattern on the ceiling?”
“No, where?”Giles said as his head shot up to look.”Can’t say that I really see it. Maybe if I lean on the table like you...”
Giles walked wobbily towards the table and laid down on it like Angel.”Where is it?”
Angel pointed up.”Up there. It keeps changing shape. First it looked like a Ferrari...now it looks like...RUPERT GILES! How dare you have a pattern of Buffy’s naked body in your ceiling!”
Angel rolled on top of the Watcher and put his hands around the man’s neck as Giles squinted as he looked up.”What?!? I beg your pardon! Where? Ack!”
Xander look a heavy tome and hit the vampire on the head, causing him to lose his grip on the Watcher.”Angel! Pull it together! The ceiling’s white! Look!”
Angel looked up and saw a white ceiling. He groaned.”Sorry about that,Giles. Buffy makes me crazy, and she doesn’t have to be here to even try...”
Coughing, Giles patted the vampire’s shoulder morosely.”Same as her mum...woman makes me daffy. She can’t see that that Hank wants her back. ‘All grown and mature now!’ ‘I want my family back!’ What a sod! If he was mature, he’d never let her go in the first place! Pillock! And do you know that the sod had the actual *nerve* to ask me if I was going to make Joyce pregnant?”
“Can’t make Buffy pregnant,”Angel said morosely, then he brightened.”But I can have fun trying to pretend that I can! I’ll keep on going like that pink rabbit! But I can’t touch her, not until the wedding...what time is it?”
“It’s 9 days, 15 hours and 50 minutes to the wedding, Angel,”Xander said as he sat in a chair.”How many bottles have you guys had?”
Giles lifted a hand.”I’m not sure...how many fingers do I have?”
Angel looked at his hand, then at Giles’s.”I think that I’ve got ten of them. Think you have ten, too.”
“Oh, right. It was a hand for Angel, and a hand for me. So that makes twenty fingers for both of us,”Giles slurred. Xander looked at Giles with alarm.
“YOU DRANK TWENTY BOTTLES BETWEEN THE BOTH OF YOU?!?”he yelped. Oz growled ferociously at the trio and Xander spun around.”Quiet Oz! Down boy! Bad werewolf! You guys drank twenty bottles?!?”
Giles shook his head violently.“No. no, no! Ten fingers on a hand for Angel and ten for me. So I guess it means that it is twenty...ten and ten is twenty, right?”
Xander buried his face into his hands.”Giles, there are five fingers per hand. Unless you’re a mutant from Bora Bora!”
“I think the Watcher is drunk,”Angel said as he leaned over Xander’s shoulders.”An Englishman can’t hold a drink to an Irishman. Known fact by all the people in the world. And see? He’s still gotta finish that bottle to beat me. Too bad Whistler won’t be here until my bachelor party, the little demon drank me down six times in L.A..”
Xander looked at Angel suspiciously.”How many have you had?”
“Six bottles of Irish-home brewed specially ordered and imported whiskey,”Angel said proudly as he slapped his chest, then took a swig from his bottle.”This works better than all those cold showers I’ve been taking. I think. Better than the swim I took in the ocean after I saw her in the bikini she showed me.”
Angel put his bottle down and grabbed Xander in a choke hold as he whispered in drunken confidence, ”The girl does not play fair, aren’t I suffering too? Haven’t I been running away from her when she wants to romp in the cemetery? Putting tables and chairs in her way when she can leap over them in a single bound? So what does she do? Wear tighter clothes and no underwear. Slayer’s making me suffer. Suffer, I tell you! Did you know that she has the cutest little mole under-”
Xander manfully gulped,”Are you sure that you’re supposed to be telling me this? Won’t Buffy be madder if you did?”
“Good point, Ears! She’d make me suffer even more!”Angel looked back at the boy, horrified.”She’d make me suffer even more! Wear tighter clothes!”
“We’re all suffering,”Giles groaned. Then he started wailing,”All suffering because of Hank Summers who wants Joyce back and Buffy to date a stamped and approved noddy. I haven’t been able to bed Joyce in our comfortable bed since he came. And I won’t be able to until Joyce’s Nana leaves, I just know it! Do you know how hard it is to get comfortable in that tiny office of hers? The land rover is more comfortable.”
Xander wisely remained silent, but he took another swipe at taking away Giles’s bottle. Giles growled and pulled it back towards him. “It’s mine! Can’t have it!”
Angel saw the tug of war for the bottle with little interest. He saw the furry form of his best man and meandered over to it.”Hiya Oz! Woof! Woof! Just wait until Whistler gets here! Stop growling at me! I know you don’t like the pissant much, but he’s the other groomsman for the groom which is me! Want to play? Woof! Woof!”
Xander gave a final yank at the bottle when he heard the cage door open.”Angel! No!”
“Shut up, Ears! I’m communing with nature!”Angel shouted back. The young werewolf looked at Angel and growled. Angel growled back. Oz growled louder, then Angel. They continued growling at each other for a few minutes until Oz suddenly went on his back and bared his throat. Angel sat and grinned as he petted his best man, then hooked his arm around the werewolf.”Want a drink, Oz?”
Xander watched in amazement as he saw Angel pour the whiskey bottle down the Ozwolf’s throat.”Great. Now I’m going to have a drunk werewolf along with a drunk librarian and vampire.”
“Hey, Oz! Let’s sing!”Angel said as he poured more whiskey down his throat, then the werewolf’s.”Lord~ I was born a rambling’ man!~Doin’ the best I can~”
“Think you missed a couple of words there,”Giles said from the table.”And Oz can only sing base at this point. How about...She wore an itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini For the first time today~!”
“No! No! No! Buffy wore an itsy bitsy teeny weeny *teal* bikini today. Just like her eyes,”Angel protested as he shook his head. Ozwolf whined and Angel poured more whiskey down the werewolf’s snout.”Sorry about that Oz! Have some more whiskey.”
“Buffy’s eyes are teal?”Xander asked in surprise.”I thought they were hazel.”
Angel’s eyes narrowed on the boy.”What do you know about Buffy’s eyes? You’d better not have noticed anything else, have you?”
“Not if I want to live, I didn’t,”Xander said quickly with his hands up.”Yo, G-man, I’m gonna make a phone call to your house.”
“Fine, fine,”Giles said as he waved the boy on.”Go ahead, call the house. I’m not there. I’m here. Drunk with a vampire and a werewolf. While my wife is in my house with her daughter and ex-husband. Like a little family.”
“Perk up Giles, at least you know she’s not having sex with him,”Xander quipped.
Giles lifted his head up and looked at Xander with bleary eyes.”Sex? Who’s having sex with Joyce? It’s not me, I know that!”
“Let’s sing a song. Something sad,”Angel said as he took a swig.”How about Sinatra? See if you know this key, Oz.”
As Xander punched in Giles’s house number, he rolled his eyes when the Ozwolf started howling in tune with the two drunks. And he was, surprisingly on key. Then he winced when Oz howled particularly loudly.
“Regrets~I’ve had a few~”Angel crooned into the whiskey bottle.
Giles chimed in from the table.”A few~ to be certian~I’ve lived~ A life that’s full~”
“Buffy? You asleep yet? Just got home and going to bed? Yeah, me Xander. Both are here and they’ve shot the cat, and the werewolf so to speak,”Xander said loudly. He looked at the drunks and gave them a face.”Let me go in on the phone in Giles’s office. It’s quieter there.”
As Xander left the room, Giles sat up to drink more of his scotch. When nothing came out, he looked into the bottle.”Damn! Empty. Got anymore Angel?”
Angel looked at his bottle and shook his head.”Empty. Know anywhere we can get some more?”
“You’re the vampire, you’re supposed to know,”Giles said as he stood wobbily to his feet.”I’ve more at home. I suppose we could go there. Wonder if Joyce is home now?”
Angel also stood wobbily.”Heard Ears say that they just got home and they’re all going to bed now. Buffy’s in bed. Alone...like me. Isn’t that sad, Oz?”
Ozwolf simply whined and looked at the empty whiskey bottle. Angel nodded as well.”Yeah, I want some more, too. Come on Giles, let’s go to your place and wake up the women. If we’re miserable, they should be, too.”
“Quite so,”Giles said as he put his arm around Angel’s shoulder.”Let’s sing a song...do you know the lyrics to ‘Hotel California’?”
“Welcome to the Hotel Cal~ifornia~! Such a lonely place,”Angel started crooning as he wrapped his arm around Giles’s shoulders, and the two weaved out the library doors with the Ozwolf at their heels.
“All right, guys,”Xander said as he came out from the office. He looked around the library. “Guys? Where are you guys? Giles? Angel? Oz? Come out ,come out wherever you are!”
The doors burst open and Willow flew in.“Whew! Sorry about that Xander! How was Oz...Xander? Why is the cage open and Oz isn’t in there?”
Xander gave Willow a weak smile as he grabbed his jacket and ran out the library doors.”It’s funny that you should mention that...’cause we’re both gonna have to look for a trio of drunken whatevers.”
Willow grabbed Xander by his lapels.”What happened to OZ?”
“He’s drunk,”Xander said quickly.”And he’s with Angel and Giles. Now let’s move and find them before they do something *really* stupid!”
*****
Joyce Summers Giles yawned as she went down the stairs and into the kitchen, turning on the lights. She opened the fridge door. “Now...what do I want to drink?”
“Hey Mom!” Buffy said as she bolted into the kitchen in her lace nightshirt.”I’ve gotta go, there’s a case of a slight emergency. And you might want to help.”
“What’s wrong? Is there a demon around?”Joyce asked as she laid the juice on the counter and looked at her daughter.
Buffy shook her head.”Nope. Just a drunken Giles, Angel and Oz roaming the streets of Sunnydale right now. Just got a call from Willow.”
“But isn’t it Oz’s night to be caged?”Joyce asked as she raced to the living room with her daughter. As she ran to the closet, her foot got caught on the rug. She fell slightly forward, but caught herself on the door.”Damn rug. How did he get free?”
Buffy bit her inner lip.”It seems that Angel freed Oz and now all three have disappeared from the library.”
Joyce looked around for her jacket.“So we have to find all three before-”
“Hey, what’s going on?”Hank Summers yawned as he entered the living room.”Why are you two up so late?”
Buffy froze as she saw her father.”Dad! Hi! What are you doing up?”
“Because I heard noise out here, what’s going on? Where are you two going?”he yawned again.”Is something the matter?”
“Oh, nothing, Hank. Just an attack of the munchies as Buffy and I are doing the mother-daughter thing,”Joyce smiled quickly.”I’m still a bit hungry even after all the food we ate. And since we’ve got no milk or chips, I thought why not a grocery run?”
“At 2:30 in the morning, Joyce? With Buffy? Two women alone?”Hank asked skeptically.”I think that I’d better go with you, two.”
“No!”Buffy shouted, when smiled sheepishly when her dad stared at her.”I mean, I wanted to ask Mom some questions, and since she can’t answer this in the house because it makes her feel uncomfortable...well, it’s a girl thing, Dad.”
Hank Summers stared at his daughter.”Girl thing or not, I’m still going with you, sweetheart. It’s night and dangerous out there.”
“No, it’s, uh, really quite safe out here in Sunnydale. Especially if you’re around with Buffy,”Joyce smiled as she took a step forward towards her ex-husband.”So why don’t you go back to-whoops!”
Hank caught his ex as she tripped forward into his arms.”You all right Joycie?”
“Hello-Joyce!”Giles said happily as he strode into the house. He took in his wife in her ex’s arms and made the obvious conclusion his drunken mind could think of.”You bloody pillock! Get your hands off my wife! You’re not having sex with her!”
Giles rushed forward to punch the man’s nose when Joyce flung herself at her husband.”Rupert, Stop!”
Hank Summers looked at Joyce’s enraged husband, and pulled at his ex.”Let him go Joyce! I’ll handle this sot!”
Buffy started to go after her Watcher when Angel popped through the door with Oz.”Hey there Buffy! What are you doing up so late? Need a cold shower, too? Oz! Aren’t you coming in?”
“Angel!”Buffy shouted.”What are you doing here? And with Oz!”
“We came to get more whiskey,”Angel said happily as he gathered his bride-to-be in his arms. He nuzzled her throat.”You smell good! Now where’s the whiskey? Down boy! Good werewolf!”
In Angel’s arms, Buffy stared at Oz sitting at Angel’s heels when her attention turned to her mother who was struggling to keep her dad and Giles apart.
“Rupert! Calm down!”Joyce shouted as she hung on to her husband.”Nothing’s happened! Rupert!”
“Let me at him! Teach him to touch my wife!” Giles shouted as he struggled to get around her.”Teach him to get near my wife!”
Joyce flung around to look at her equally belligerent, but sober ex. ”Hank! Get out of here! Now!”
“Like *hell* I am! Joyce! Move! Let me at that English jackass! He’s no good for you!”Hank Summers shouted as he tried to move Joyce forcibly from Giles’s arms. Joyce struggled to stay where she was.”Joyce! Move!”
“Yes, Joyce! Move!” Giles shouted as he tried to move around his wife. The Ozwolf started to romp around the men like a goofy dog.”Oz! Down boy! Go away! Get over here Hank Summers and take your punishment like a man! You Pillock!”
“Angel! Stop them!”Buffy shouted as she struggled to get out of his arms.”Someone’s gonna get hurt!”
Joyce blocked her ex’s path to Rupert.”Hank Stop! Go back! Get away from Rupert!”
“Like hell I am!”Hank Summers roared as he threw a fist for Rupert Giles. Joyce threw himself in the punch’s way as she shoved Rupert away.
Buffy screamed as she saw her father’s punch head towards her mother’s delicate face.”MOM!!!”
In slow motion Joyce heard a screams, growls, and arms catch her as she closed her eyes, fell forwards and waited for the punch to come. When she opened them, she saw Angel’s face above hers, and when she looked over his shoulder at Rupert, he was in a headlock in Buffy’s arms.”Rupert? Where’s Hank?”
“I’ve got the bloody wanker,” said a rich voice from the vicinity of her ex. Joyce looked up and saw a bleached blonde haired man clad in a leather trenchcoat standing over the still form of her ex-husband. Her jaw dropped wide open.”I’ve half a mind of eating this bastard...”
“Spike!”Buffy screamed as she flung Giles away and went for the vampire.”Get away from my dad!”
Joyce flung herself from Angel’s arms and into her daughter’s path.”Buffy! Stop! Liam! No violence! You both promised!”
Spike immediately jumped behind the armchair as Buffy lunged after him.”Tell *her* that Mum! *She’s* the one with the violent tendencies!”
Angel growled as he lunged for Spike. Joyce screamed as she saw her coffee table get demolished underneath the weight of the two. She saw Buffy leap on to Spike’s back and hold him as Angel tried to punch Spike. He missed and hit the lamp instead.”Stop! Angel! Liam! Stop! Buffy!”
Joyce dove in after the three, trying to pry them apart. Giles saw what his wife was doing and dove in after her.”Joyce! Get out of there! You’re going to get hurt!”
The Ozwolf barked gleefully as he watched the five people create a ball of flying arms and legs. He looked at the door when he heard a familiar feminine voice scream.”OHMIGOD! What’s going on?”
Giles finally managed to pull his wife out of the fray just as she pushed Angel away from Liam. “Joyce! Come on!”
“Buffy! Stop! Buffy!”Joyce shouted as she pulled Spike behind her, her arms spread wide.”Liam! Stop it!”
“I’ll stop when she stops coming after me!” Spike shouted from behind Joyce.”If she wants a piece of me, she can bloody well try!”
“Liam! Behave! You promised! No violence rule! Angel! Hold Buffy!”Joyce wailed. Buffy stared at her mother as Spike glared at her then at her mother. Angel immediately grabbed Buffy by the arms and held her back as he growled at Spike. Spike growled back.
“She broke it first!”Spike shouted as he looked at the Slayer angrily. Buffy swung her mother to face her.
“Mom! He decked Dad! Without a reason! He came in here and punched Dad!”
“He was about to punch Mum!”Spike shouted back from behind Joyce.”Your Dad is obviously the violent sort that punches harmless women!”
“QUIET! I SAID QUIET!”Joyce shouted from the top of her lungs. She looked at the people around her.”Xander, Willow. Come in now and shut the door. Now...Buffy and Liam, you both know the No Violence Rule. And, just for the record, *if you both don’t keep it, I’m gonna paddle your little butts no matter how old you are!* Got it?”
When she got a grudging nod from both, she continued.”Rupert and Angel, I want to know why both of you found the need to come in, with Oz in his state and try to beat Hank up. Especially when the three of you are so drunk.”
“We are *not* drunk. We are tipsy. There is a difference, my dear wife. As for beating Hank up...That wasn’t the intention, I assure you, Joyce,”Giles said loftily. He then looked at Hank’s fallen form and sniffed.”We only came to raid the bar, I had no idea that I would see Hank with his arms around you. And I’m quite afraid...”
“You lost it. You saw the bloody wanker and Mum together and you lost it,”Spike said angrily.”Bloody Hell! I’m gonna suck you dry! You nearly let that bastard punch her!”
“Hey! No sucking anyone dry here!” Xander shouted. Spike growled at him, and Xander stood behind Buffy.”It’s one of the Rules!”
“Stop!” Joyce shouted. When everyone quieted, Joyce sighed.”Is he dead or did you just hit him?”
“Who? The wanker that was trying to hurt you? Nah, he’s alive. Be seeing stars for sometime though,”Spike shrugged.”Why was he trying to hurt you?”
“He was trying to hurt Giles and not Mrs. G, I think,”Willow said as she looked at Buffy.”Was that it?”
Buffy glared at Spike.”Yeah, we were about to go out and find Angel, Giles and Oz when all hell broke loose. Shouldn’t we get Dad off the floor now?”
Angel snorted.“Why should we? He’s making me and Giles suffer, so he should stay on the floor.”
“Quite so! The bloody wanker ought to be uncomfortable,”Giles snorted. He looked at Spike.”I suppose I should thank you for decking the man for me.”
Buffy looked at both Angel and Giles.”Both of you had better still be drunk, else I’m going to be real pissed at you two. He’s my dad!”
The young werewolf barked and growled at her. Buffy too a step back as Angel looked down.”Down Oz! Be a good werewolf! Want some more whiskey?”
Willow stared at Angel. then at her furry husband, then at Angel again.”You gave Oz whiskey?!? How could you?”
“Hey! Whiskey’s better than scotch or ale!”Angel protested. Then he noticed the glares from the three women.”What?”
Giles snorted.“Bloody Irishman! Everybody knows that an ale is much heartier than whiskey and scotch is for real men! Would you rather have some scotch, Oz?”
Joyce rolled her eyes as Oz barked happily at Giles.”I don’t believe it! Oz the Werewolf is a dog when he’s drunk. Liam, you and Angel carry Hank to his room. Xander and Buffy? Clean this mess up. Rupert and Willow...”
“I’ll get him out of here?”she said hesitantly.”Oz? Heel!”
“Say it with more confidence, Willow. And give him some scotch to make him happy,”Giles said as he looked at the werewolf.”You like scotch, don’t you Oz?”
Joyce looked at her drunk husband and glared.”Rupert, if you so much as give that boy a dram of scotch, *you’ll* be sleeping out on the porch!”
Spike sighed as he stepped forward towards Hank Summers. Then he sniffed the air and made a face.”Bloody Hell! Mum, this poof peed in his pants!”
“Some man! Can’t hold his bladder in!”Giles sniffed. He was oblivious to Buffy’s glare. As Joyce looked down at the still form of her ex, she noticed a streak of wet going down his pajama leg. A sudden realization hit her.
“Oz! Did you do this?” Joyce shouted at the werewolf. The Ozwolf hunkered down and hid behind Willow.”Oz! Bad werewolf!”
Spike snickered as Giles and Angel grinned from ear to ear. Buffy glared at the three men.”Hey! That’s my dad that Oz lifted his leg on!”
Angel nodded soberly.”Yes, honey. It is. I’ll reprimand him. Oz! Bad werewolf! For this you have to drink disgusting English Ale!”
“Angel!” Buffy screeched as Willow buried her face in her hands. Her shoulders were shaking. Buffy glared at her.”Willow! If you giggle, so help me...”
Angel looked at her innocently. “What? Don’t you know how *bad* English ale is compared to Ireland’s finest whiskey?”
“Hey!”Spike said indignantly.”Whiskey is only for sissy pansers like you! *Real* men drink ale!”
“Here! Here!” Giles shouted.”Want to be punished with more whiskey Oz?”
“Rupert Giles! I’m warning you!” Joyce threatened.”If you give that boy any more alcohol, I’m going to do something drastic!”
“Now this is a strange sight, indeed,”a voice drawled from the doorway. Everyone looked up and saw a petite, silver-haired woman dressed in a modish teal traveling suit.”It’s not every night that you see this...”
“Nana!” Joyce said faintly as she rushed over to the small woman.”What are you doing here? And at this time of night! Buffy! Nana Bethie’s here!”
Buffy rushed over to hug her great-grandmother.”Nana! Welcome! What are you doing here? I thought you were coming next week!”
“Obviously,”she said dryly as she hugged her granddaughter and great-granddaughter. She looked at the faces around her, then at her granddaughter’s.”Well, like I said, this is a sight to see.”
“Nana, I can explain,”Joyce began.”It’s quite a story, actually...do you really want to hear it?”
Nana Bethie looked at her.”Of course I do. It’s not every night that a drunken werewolf, a sociopathic vampire, a drunken vampire fiancee and an idiot gather around with the Slayer her family and friends. In fact, I look quite look forward to it. Isn’t that so, Watcher?”
Giles groaned.“No, it’s not, Lady Atherton.”
She looked from her girls to the red faced Watcher to the blonde vampire she knew.”Well, Spike, it’s been a while.”
“Not long enough, Lady Atherton,”he growled back.”Thought you’d be dead by now.”
“You keep on hoping, boy. I’m too mean for the devils or vampires to want,”she snorted. Then her eyes focused on the groaning figure and sighed.”Well, it seems that the idiot’s coming to be awake. Tell me something...”
“Yes, Nana?”Joyce said as she smiled fearfully. Nana Bethie’s hazel eyes focused on her granddaughter.
“Who was the idiot that invited Spike into this house? Because I *know* the Slayer would know better than to do so, the Watcher would also be as wise to not to and I *know* that you’re smarter than the idiot you married,”Nana said as she heard the groans get louder.
“It was the Slayer. She was the idiot that originally invited me in,”Spike said gleefully. Nana Bethie looked at her great-granddaughter who gave her an embarrassed smile, then watched the arising form of her former relative.
She strode over to Hank Summers and swung her fist at his jaw. Buffy and Joyce watched open mouthed as Hank Summers went down again. This time over the armchair.
She sniffed at his still form as she pulled her jacket down.”Serves him right for passing his stupid genes to my great-granddaughter. Besides, he smells like he wet his pants.”
Angel looked at Giles.”Damn, she *does* have a punishing left!”
Xander leaned over to Willow.”He was decked twice in one night. Does this count?”
Willow looked at Xander and slapped him upside his head.
~The End?
Sequel: Meeting Nana.
