Interlude: Pass the Food
"So when's Angel going to meet your dad?"
"Oh, Angel's coming to dinner tonight after sun down. Mom's been cooking up a storm,"said Buffy as she continued to whittle her stake."And Giles is doing 'British politeness before face of death' routine while muttering about interfering ex-husbands."
"So...would you say that Giles is, ah, a bit upset that your dad is staying over until the wedding?"
Buffy chuckled as she blew on her stake."When I left the house this morning, Giles was clutching his tea cup with a death grip."
"So how does Angel feel about this promise your dad made him do?"
"When I saw *him* this morning he was on his way to another really cold shower,"Buffy said as she absently admired the stake's point."There! Think that's pointy enough, Faith?"
"Looks fine to me, B. But how upset is Angel with your dad? Was he,uh, upset enough to do some violence? "Faith asked as she looked at Buffy. Buffy placed her stake down and looked at the faces around her.
"All right, what's going on? What's with the interrogation ceremony?"Buffy demanded through narrow eyes. Faith looked around at Xander and Willow, then at Oz and Cordelia before she looked at Buffy, then shrugged.
"Got me. What interrogation ceremony?"Faith asked as she widened her eyes innocently.Buffy looked at her suspiciously then at the faces around her. Something was up...and that big smile from Cordelia just proved it.
"The one that you five are putting on now,"Buffy said through narrowed eyes. She eyes shot at Xander, then at Willow."Spill it, Will. What's going on?"
"W-why ask me?"Willow stuttered."Nothing's going on. Why should there be anything going on? Especially when there's nothing happening except your wedding that's happening in little more than two weeks. And that's a pretty big happening-"
"You're stuttering ,Will,"Buffy said. Then her eyes focused on Oz who was intensely studying a lunar chart. Upside down."Oz, you know what your wife is hiding from me?"
Oz looked up from his chart reluctantly."What do you mean? She's the most open person that I know. Can't hold a secret from me to save a soul."
"So then there *is* a secret!"Buffy said triumphantly. Oz gave her a patented 'What are you talking about?' look which looked remarkably like his 'We're in deep doo-doo now' look. Buffy jumped down from the table she was sitting on, then looked at Xander...who gave her a forced smile.
"Spill it, Xander!"Buffy ordered. Xander looked around, then hunkered down as Buffy stepped forward menacingly.
"Who me? What's there to spill? Nothing spilt here!"Xander squeaked. As Buffy stepped forward, Xander yelped and ran behind Cordelia who rolled her eyes.
Cordelia looked at Buffy."Well, if you *must* know. We all made a betting pool."
"Cordelia!"Xander squeaked from behind her."Try to kill us, why don't you? And on a nice autumn Thursday morning too!"
Cordelia rolled her eyes as Buffy ordered,"Go on. What's this betting pool about?"
Willow held her breath and smiled blankly and when Buffy glanced at her."Hey! It's a test of probabilities and math! With, uh, certain financial gain and it harm none. Really."
Buffy gave Willow a skeptical look. Cordelia coughed as she crossed her fingers behind her."Ohh, well, it's about who'd kill the ,most vampires until the wedding. It's between Giles and Angel."
Buffy thought about it."Oh...who's the favorite?"
As Cordelia looked blank, Oz coughed."It's...ah...the pool's kinda even right now."
"Am I in this pool? Why am I not in this pool?"Buffy asked. Her eyes narrowed when Xander coughed. Faith glared at him.
"Because you're a Slayer, and everyone here *knows* that you'd slay the most vamps. So, you're out of the pool,"Faith said as she crossed her fingers in her jeans."So, Buffy-"
Everyone jumped as the library doors were flung open and they slammed against the walls. In strode an agitated Giles."Buffy! Faith! Time for practice! Now! Xander! Oz! Both of you get out the training mats! Cordelia and Willow! Are those demon mythos books cataloged yet?"
Buffy looked at her Watcher."What's wrong, Giles? Why so jittery? Too much caffeine in the tea?"
Giles glared at Buffy."I'll be in my office and start warming up. Oh, and Buffy? We must think of plausible reasons for you and I to be out of the house while we are patrolling, since your father is unaware of your full status as a Slayer. And we had better make them good since your father will be living with all of us for 17 days and 18 hours. God help us all..."
"Someone's a bit cranky this morning,"Buffy muttered, then she looked at her friends."Can I place money on Giles?"
Faith looked at the others then looked at Buffy."Depends. Can we get invited to dinner?"
"Dinner? You want to come to dinner? At my house? Why?"
Willow smiled as she stood up to gather the books."To, uh, meet your dad?"
"Buffy! Faith! Are you both warmed up?"Giles shouted from his office."Oz and Xander! Are those mats out?"
"And to prevent dinner from becoming a free-for-all?"Xander quipped, then yelped when Cordelia pinched him.
Oz looked at Buffy."How about us as moral support for Angel when he meets your dad? Obvious he's not gonna get from G-man there."
Buffy nodded."Why not? Dinner after sun down. You guys can bring in the restraints to hold my dad and Giles down."
As Buffy turned away to go into the office, Xander was smacked in four different sides.
*****
When Buffy opened the door, Angel greeted her with a chaste kiss on the lips. Then another. When the kiss was threatening to get deeper,he quickly pulled away and gave her the bouquet of pink tea roses he brought. When she smiled up at him brightly, his insides relaxed a bit, then he felt another tug of desire go through him as his eyes rested on the teal chinese style dress she was wearing. [I have *got* to stop looking at her. Especially at her lovely-Stop! Remember, no touching. Not for another 16 days to go...]
As Buffy buried her face into them, Angel's eyes again focused on the delicate curve of her breasts, then he forced himself to look around the living room. His eyes widened as he saw the rest of the Scooby gang watching him with interested eyes. He nodded a greeting."Hi guys! What's everyone doing here? I thought this was supposed to be a family dinner."
Buffy nodded as she placed the flowers on the coffee table."It is. But everyone's here for your moral support."
"Oh,I see,"said Angel as he thought about it. Then he looked at the others. Maybe this was a good thing. Except that everyone was looking at him intently."So, where's your dad? And Giles?"
"Dad's in the kitchen trying to gab with Mom as she's putting the last touches to dinner and Giles is glommed at her side, getting food all over himself, and acting like a guard dog,"Buffy giggled."He's acting so..un-Giles like that it's weird."
Angel lifted his eyebrow at her, but said nothing. It was easier for him to see Giles act unlike himself than Buffy. After all, she didn't have drinking sessions with the man.
"It's an interesting thing,"Oz said as he walked over to Angel."The G-man is the guinea pig, dishwasher and pit bull all rolled into one. He's not letting Buff's dad out of his sight."
"Really! I'm not that bad,"Giles sniffed from the entrance of the dining room."Ready for the interrogation, Angel?"
Angel shrugged as Buffy slipped her warm hand into his."Ready as I'll ever be. I think."
Buffy giggled."It won't be so bad. I managed to convince dad to leave the branding irons and chains in L.A. But Mom planned out the dinner strategy that you'll love."
*****
"So, Angel...from the short conversations that we had, the *very* short conversations, I already know about your village's tradition of having the wedding at sun down. But,"Hank Summers started, then slid an indulgent look at his daughter as she smiled at the man next to her."There's something we never talked about..."
"Could you please pass the green beans, Hank? Thank you,"Joyce asked as Hank passed the plate of green beans to her. "What village tradition are you talking about?"
Hank Summers frowned at his ex-wife."The one where he told me that his Irish village believes that one should start a marriage at night rather than the daytime."
Buffy leaned to whisper at Angel,"You told him what? What happened to the allergy reason?"
"He caught me by surprise when he called,"Angel whispered back."So I called on the Blarney Stone to help me out. Does this mean that the interrogation is going to begin? Damn."
"The people in his village believes that the light chases the night away, so the people get married at night time. Angel also said that he was superstitious enough to want the marriage start right,"Hank said as he looked around the table."Sound like a pretty good reason to me."
"Indeed, I've never really heard of this tradition. It seem to be a fairly interesting notion, was there a reason for it to start Angel?"Giles started absently, then barely winced when his feet were stomped on by both Willow and Xander."Ow! Ow!"
As everyone looked at him, Giles glared at Xander then at Willow.
"Sorry! My foot slipped,"Willow said contritely as she motioned his silence with a nod of her head."Could you please pass the pepper, Giles?"
"Anyway, as I was saying, I had never found out something about you, Angel,"said Hank Summers laid down his fork again."What is it that you exactly do?"
[In other words, what makes you good enough for my daughter?]thought Angel as he laid down his fork and knife to look at the man opposite of him."I do all types of things, Mr. Summers."
"Call me Hank, we're all soon going to be family here, after all,"Hank said generously. Angel smiled slightly at that."So what types of things are you into? Computers? Books? Art? Business? What type of things exactly?"
"Uh...where's the salt? Oh, there it is! Could you please pass the salt, Mr. Summers?"Willow asked to Buffy's dad. Hank looked before him and passed the salt to the girl Cordelia, who passed it to Buffy's Matron of Honor, Willow."Thank you."
"I'm an investor. And I'm sort of an artist,"Angel answered calmly. He barely winced when he felt Buffy's hand touch his thigh and calve it a squeeze.[She's got to move her hand before I get any harder...]
"An investor?"Hank's ears perked up then he frowned."An artist? What kind of artist? Did you meet Buffy through Joyce's gallery?"
"Could you please pass the gravy, Mr. Summers? And the potatoes?"Oz asked quickly. Hank Summers looked down and passed the gravy boat to the Buffy's bridesmaid, Faith, to pass on to the boy."Thanks."
"Buffy met him all by herself, Hank,"Joyce said as she laid down her fork. She looked at her ex with a steely eye.'In fact-"
"Could you pass the pepper, Mom? Thanks. Dad, Angel was my history tutor in high school.That's how we, uh, met,"Buffy said quickly. She shot a smile at Angel, then looked at her father."And Willow was my calc and chem tutor while Giles was my, uh-"
"I was her mentor at the school,"Giles said quickly. Hank looked at his ex-wife's husband and frowned."I helped her about many different subjects while she was a student."
"I thought you were the school librarian?"he asked bluntly."How was it that you became my daughter's mentor?"
"Could you please pass the salad, Mr. Summers?"Xander piped up. When Buffy's dad passed it, he gave him a grin."Well, back then, Mr.Giles was our mentor. We hung out at the library, studying, trying to pass grades, staying alive, uh, in our classes, being tutored and all that."
"And so how was it that you were tutoring my daughter in high school history?"Hank asked of Angel through narrowed eyes."Was that your major?"
"It was in a way. I was more of a student of the general humanities, like philosophy, psychology, folklore, languages, history, and all that," said Angel as he gave Buffy's father a bland smile while Buffy kicked him under the table.[What'd I do?]
"But psychology isn't a humanity course,"Hank Summers frowned."At least it wasn't when I was in college."
[Oh, so *that's* what I did...Blarney Stone, don't fail me now!]Angel coughed."Well, the course interested me at the time, and I only remember the course mostly because I needed the credits to graduate."
"So when did you graduate? And how was it that you became Buffy's tutor in history?"Buffy's father persisted.
Cordelia asked,"Could you please pass the, uh, salad dressing, Mr. Summers? It's right by Oz. Thanks."
"Dad! I told you! He was trying to earn extra money for college while tutoring me,"Buffy admonished. She smiled at Angel, and he took up her hand from his hard thigh and kissed it."And then I asked him out."
Hank's eyes narrowed as he digested this information. Then he looked at Giles."So a man of college age is allowed to waltz into the school and date the students there?"
"Mr. Summers? Could you please pass the cole slaw?"Faith asked. Hank looked around, then spotted it over by the girl he was sitting next to, Cordelia. He motioned for Cordelia to reach it.
As Cordelia passed it to him, and from him to Faith, she answered,"Oh, anybody can get into the school, but to get tutors, they have to be school recommended. Like Angel was. Thanks."
"I see. And who recommended you to Buffy, Angel?"Hank asked in dulcet tones. His eyes rested on Giles."Was it Rupert who recommended you? Your *mentor*?"
Giles's eyes narrowed, then he was about to say something when Joyce said,"Could you please cut up some more of the roast, Rupert and pass it to Buffy? She hasn't been eating enough these days."
Giles glared at his wife as she smiled at him blandly and ignored the daggers that her daughter was staring at her with.
Hank Summers refocused his attention to his little girl."Why aren't you eating, honey? Are you sick? Is it the stress of the wedding?"
"You could say that, Dad,"Buffy said as she slid a glance to everyone at the table."Just alot of things on my mind. The wedding is the most important of them all."
"Well, if you want, we could go to L.A. for a day or two for some rest,"Hank Summers started. He looked at his ex-wife when she laid her fork down with a click."Your Mom can come, too. How about you, Joycie? Maybe you'll find a dress there for to wear for the wedding. The dresses in the pictures here makes you look either too maternal or too immature."
Joyce studiously ignored her glaring husband as she rolled her eyes at him."Now Hank that idea sounds just lovely, but-"
Instantly insulted, Cordelia was about to retort when Xander demanded loudly,"Cordy! You have the salad dressing! Could you please pass it?"
After a moment at staring at Xander's insistent eyes, she passed it to him."Here! Though you really should get more salad to go with it, Xander."
"Well, Dad, Mom's right. That sounds like a pretty good idea,"she drawled. Angel's eyes widened, then he shot a glare at Buffy when she looked at him mischievously.[Should I torture him for making that stupid promise to Dad?]
He growled lowly, so that only she could hear.[If she leaves me alone with the wedding preparations, I'll drag her back here by her hair. Bad enough I can't touch her...]
"But I think I'd better rest here, so that everything can go well for the wedding,"Buffy said as she looked at Angel with innocent eyes."Besides, I really can't see Angel and Giles managing this without me and Mom."
"Oh, well that's a relief,"Giles said drolly as he looked straight at his wife."Never know what trouble us men might get into with the wedding preparations. And the wedding is what? Only 15 days to go? Give or take a few hours...
"Well, I see that Buffy and Angel's not the only one that's counting the days to the wedding,"Hank Summers shrugged."If you wish it, honey. So Angel, who was that recommended you to be Buffy's history tutor?"
Faith leaned over to her right to whisper at Joyce."Jeez, Buffy's dad is persistent isn't he?"
Overhearing,Oz leaned a bit over the table as he nodded."Think I'll take some notes from him when Willow and I have a daughter. Ira Rosenberg is starting to look like a light weight compared to him. And Cantor Ira Rosenberg was mostly concerned with converting me to Judaism. After finding out how high my range is. And if I'd pinch in if he needed it."
"It was the principal before Principal Snyder, actually,"Angel answered.//What the *hell* was that principal's name? Flik? Flom? Flat? Flem? Flut? Flutie!//"It was Principal Flutie that allowed me to tutor students."
Hank Summers persisted."I see. But I'm still exactly not clear-"
"Hank? Pass the water pitcher, please,"Giles asked." It's right next to Oz. Thank you. So, did you find out exactly your vacation is over?"
"Oh, the company said that I should get back the afternoon after the wedding. About three would be fine with them, they said. As I was, saying-"Hank Summers started again.
[Better call out the big guns...]Joyce let her fork down with a smart clink.
"Hank? Guess what? I heard from Nana Bethie today. She says that she's coming to the wedding,"Joyce said blandly. Hank Summers immediately blanched.
"Mom! Is Nana Bethie *really* coming to the wedding?"Buffy demanded enthusiastically."Really? No kidding?"
Joyce nodded happily."Nana Bethie said that she's coming in a few days as soon as she can."
Buffy turned to Angel excitedly."Angel, you're going to *love* my Nana Bethie. She's Mom's grandmother and she is so *cool*! She's ages old and she still travels alot, and she's *really* great! Last time I saw her, she was in L.A. and we had a blast!"
As Buffy started telling Angel about her Nana Bethies's exploits, Hank looked at his ex-wife."So...Nana is coming? Oh, joy. I can't wait to see her again. Be still my heart."
Joyce's eyes narrowed."Now Hank, don't tell me that you still hold a grudge against her. She *is*, after all, old."
Hank Summers glared at his ex-wife as he muttered."She's *not* that old. She still has a mean left hook. Rupert? Have you ever met Joycie's Nana Bethie?"
"No, I have the pleasure of meeting *Joyce's* Nana Bethie,"Giles stressed."We decided to marry without a lot of family about."
Hank Summers winced, then took a large gulp of his wine."Consider yourself in danger then. Only kidding, honey. Your mother's nana and I have a mutual feeling towards each other. Could you please pass the wine, Oz?"
"Uhh, Joyce? Now that you've told us the news, where is your Nana Bethie staying?"Giles asked hesitantly. His heart sank when she gave him a winning smile."I thought so."
Giles leaned over to Xander,"Xander, please tell Angel that I'll bring the ale to his place tonight. 16 days and 20 hours to go. And please pass the wine."
Cordelia leaned over to Willow."I think we should change the pool to who's gonna get drunk the most before this wedding is gonna take place. There's no action here tonight."
"Cordelia? Pass the cole slaw."
*****
"Your father hates me."
Buffy sighed as she looked up at Angel's morose face."No, he doesn't. Trust me on this."
Angel looked at her."He hates me. Trust me on this. He hates me."
Buffy stopped walking and then sat down on a car. When she crooked her little finger at him, Angel came closer. Then out of the blue, she cuffed him on the ear."What the *hell* was that for?"
"You're brooding,"Buffy said flatly."And you're being cranky. I get enough of that from Giles and Mom in the morning and evening."
Angel glared at her, but remained silent. Buffy sighed as she brought him closer by the lapels of his duster."Does it *really* matter that my dad hates you, Angel? Or does it matter more that I love you?"
"Do you really need to ask that question?"Angel asked as he leaned his head against hers, taking in the scent of her."I just don't want you to regret marrying me."
"Never, only thing I'd regret is you not kissing me right now,"Buffy said as she leaned over to kiss him. Angel brought her closer to his chest, and Buffy wrapped herself around him. As his hands started to roam over her lithe body, Angel wrenched his mouth away from her.
"Buffy, we've gotta stop,"Angel rasped. He looked down at her lowered eyes and swollen mouth. "Now. You stay there and I'll-"
"She's the little old lady from Pasadena" sang a loud voice."Go Granny! Go Granny! Go! There's nobody meaner! Than the little old lady from Pasadena!"
"Hank! You've got it wrong!"another voice admonished."You need more of a twang to it, I believe. 'Pas~a~den~a!' And I do believe that we should get out of the street before we're arrested. At least I think we should."
"Listen, Englishman! I'm an American and I should know when the Beach Boys sound like,"Hank Summers sniffed."So when I say Pasadena, it means Papa~den~er. Got it? Especially when Nana Bethie is meaner than the little old lady from Papa~den~er!"
Startled, Buffy and Angel stared at a tipsy Giles holding an inebriated Hank Summers up. He looked up and smiled widely at the couple."Well, 'allo! Finished walking around? Good! Good! Angel, seems that I can't meet you for our nightly bout tonight. I seem to be keeping Buffy's father company at Joyce's insistence."
"That's all right, Giles. I perfectly understand,"Angel drawled."I was just about to take a cold shower and sleep."
Giles nodded in understanding."I've been doing that every night. Doesn't help one *damn* bit. Not at all, especially when Joyce is such a cozy armful. A nice, warm armful. Well, thank God for offices and the back seat of land rovers!"
Buffy grimaced at that."What an image! Yuck! Giles, what are you doing drinking with my dad?"
"He's cheering me up, Buffy,"Hank said sadly."But it's not working, honey. The old bat is still coming to the wedding. And she hates me! And the feelin's mutual! Oh, I need another drink!"
Then Hank gave Giles the fish-eye."But now I'm not alone, 'cause the old bat's gonna hate you too! And she'll make Joycie think about you and she's gonna give you a left cross across the kisser if she doesn't like you. Then Joycie can kiss me and you'll be kisserless. Betcha at least a hundred that she'll deck me before the wedding."
Hank scratched his aching head."Never forgave me for marrying Joycie without her inspection. And as for your, Angel...pray to the high heaven that the old bat likes you, else pow! And do I mean pow!"
"Is he talking about your Nana Bethie?"Angel asked as he looked at Buffy. When she shrugged, Angel groaned."I think that I'll have that drink after all."
"You can drink yourself drunk *after* you help me get these two home,"Buffy said as she propped her father against her."You take Giles since you seem to have an aversion to my dad."
"And there's nobody meaner! Than that little old lady from Pasadena! Go Granny! Go Granny! Go Granny! Go!"
~End for now...so who *is* Nana Bethie?