ormally in these Dark Chambers, your Dragonmaster lets the real world take second place when it comes to matters regarding my adventures. It appears, however, that our erstwhile colleague Ded Bob (mundanely known as Clark Orwick) has a few incredibly angry things to say regarding the world, post-9/11 and afterwards.
But in all seriousness, I can sense that there are those out there, both within and beyond the Renaissance Faire Community, that are disturbed by the recent events on the other side of the Planet, particularly in the Middle East. It surprises me not one whit that the world has been plunged into chaos beyond imagination. You need only look at the respective front pages of the March 23rd New York Post and New York Daily News to figure things out for yourselves; but in the event that you're having trouble doing so, let me quickly bring you Mortals up to speed:
Once again, an organization of radically Islamic fundamentalists has chosen to seek vengeance upon these United States, seeking nothing less than to punish our country for its mere existence. Hatred, fear and aggression are clearly virtues praised by these fools to such an extent that they have devoted themselves to a common objective: the destruction of Western civilization and all that it has represented since the latter portion of the 20th Century, Mortal-reckoning. That would, I suspect, include the murder of every innocent man, woman and child born on American soil. That, my friends, is something I simply cannot stomach. And I have no doubt that you folks can't stomach it, either.
Let me make one thing perfectly clear, Mortals: I love America, by Merlin's beard! Indeed, I wish to go on record as stating that I love these United States more than life itself. But frankly, I'm getting sick and tired of having to wake up every other morning and watch another angry terrorist either gloat over 9/11, or worse, threaten our American people! Blaming America for everything is getting to be so bloomin' annoying that Master Richard, my Mortal-born alter ego, has said to me personally, "When are these morons gonna get it? They just wanna kill until they've conquered the world, and I'm sick and tired of waking up every other morning and hearing about what they're gonna do to us!"
I realize that what I'm saying to you, my loyal fans, may be a bit shocking --- perhaps a bit offensive, given the subject matter --- but I want it understood, goodly gentles, that I have attempted as best I can to make my own logical assessments of this horrible situation without so much as pulling one single punch, or insulting others in any way.
But please be aware that these are dangerous times for us all, my friends. Even a Wizard as old as I can figure that one out. The point is, kids, that we're a Nation built on the virtues of respecting other people's beliefs, other people's right to exist, and caring deeply for each other. It saddens and shocks your Dragonmaster that we have to live under such conditions, but clearly we'll need to look out for ourselves as never before. We're at war here, people. There's no nice way to put it. In war, there is no such thing as nice. Yet that is exactly why right now, there are men and women out there fighting --- dying --- so that one day, we can render the Planet into a state of total niceness.
Previously, I've said that America can stick up for herself quite well, even if she is a 227-year-old kid! And believe me, there are more than a few of you folks out there who would obviously agree with me! But I find it a bit difficult each day to fulfill my mission knowing that these dangerous times will pretty much be with us for the forseeable future. Yet I have chosen to go on, because I have a responsibility that I take very seriously. There's a reason I'm New York City's Unofficial Wizard; and if I have not properly taken stock in what that reason is, I hope you will all consider these remarks as the first occasion in quite a while whereby I have done so.
In the end, I believe in a world where one can speak one's own mind freely, fearlessly, and without any degree of doubt. For too long, I have seen the horrors of doubt plague Mortalkind, and shaken my head in lonely sorrow. For too long, I have rested my head in utter exhaustion, knowing that another day's battle is just around the corner. And for too long, I rant angrily when I constantly feel the need to do something about it.
But truth be told, that's what makes America so wonderful: the simple knowledge that a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. In my case, of course, a Mage must do what a Mage must do. So I hope you'll all learn these lessons I've tried to impart, and I trust that you will gain much wisdom from them. If, however, my comments have offended any of my loyal fans, I must ask your forgiveness; even I, a humble Wizard, know when the time must come to stand up for the good ol' U.S. of A. --- which explains why I wear red, white and blue ribbons around me waist at all times! For that is my reminder (and I hope it will remind YOU as well!) that mine adopted Realm is no mere Kingdom: nay, 'tis a Republic!
Oh, and by the way, in case you terror-loving bastards out there didn't get the message, we call this little Republic the United States of America! And, needless to say, we'll be more than ready to kick your butts anytime, anyplace, anywhere!