ell, my dear Mortals, 'tis a done deal: George W. Bush has reclaimed the White House for a second term as President of the United States. On the eve of his all too obvious victory, my Mortal-born alter ego Master Richard was inspired to comment, and I quote:
"No matter who wins the Presidency, it's all over --- because we need to remember that this country is at war. We're battling against a network of fanatical ideologicalists whose primary aim is to kill every man, woman and child on the Planet until America bows to their will, thereby plunging Western civilization as we know it into the Dark Ages. The problem is simply that these fanatics just don't and won't get it: The Dark Ages is no time to be consumed by petty jealousies and infighting. Anyone who believes otherwise is whistling in the dark."
Clark Orwick, aka smuj, faithful sidekick to that ultra-ribald bag o' bones Ded Bob, was one of those to whom Master Richard sent his remarks. Here is smuj's response:
"Well, Dick, that's the 'junior high-school simpleton' way of looking at it. I'm into a more nuanced view, but you go ahead and live in your ethnocentric, unsophisticated world. Just please don't assume that thinking, open-minded folks will take up your sophomoric notions."
Let's be honest here, Mortals: I'm a very patient Wizard, and I can be pretty damn civilized when I wanna be. But understand this, dear goodlies (and, as always, my apologies for whatever rude language I inflict upon ye during these brief remarks): I don't play nice when people insult my or Master Richard's intelligence. Which is to say: Thou shalt not get on Blackwolf the Dragonmaster's bad side and get away with it!
And I am not about to let Ded Bob get away with it any time soon. It seems to me, Mr. Orwick, that you have perched 'pon thy shoulder a chip the apparent size of the national debt. Ded Bob may be a legend among many Renaissance Faire fans, but alas, the man behind Ded Bob is little more than a grumpy, bitter, lonely person with little or no regard for the human condition. When Ded Bob was a featured guest at 2003's New York Renaissance Faire, I rejoiced in that news, and indeed had hoped to thank him in person for having led me to his former Georgia Renaissance Festival colleague Ik the Troll --- a quest that was not successful until I learned that it was only recently that the Ikster had reactivated his website. And after personally recommending Ik's page to such Wizardly souls as meself, this is how you reward me?
And whilst I am bearing me Wizardly soul hither, Lords and Ladies, I should like to make something explicitly clear to those who would be disillusioned by another four years' worth of Dubya: Bush won. Kerry lost. Now shut up and deal with it. Otherwise, if ye feel the need to leave the U.S., fine! Maybe you lot don't wish to have the American way of life defended at all costs, but, by Merlin's beard, I DO! And I shall fight you tooth and nail if I have to if that wish is to be properly granted!
As for you, Mr. Orwick, I wish no ill will upon you, sir, I'd like to make that clear; but understand this: You, sir, are a meanie, and therefore deserve to be treated as such! And believe me, this is ONE Wizard who does not play nice when it comes to meanies! As for the rest of you, be warned: To get on Blackwolf the Dragonmaster's bad side is to do so at your own peril. And since I dislike physical violence anyway, I prefer to simply stare very harshly at you. That serves as your reminder that I have a very long memory, and will not hesitate to inflict that memory 'pon anyone who dares besmirch my good name!