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 Joke #1 - Sent to me from a special lady, although I didn't appreaciate the ending too much. Go Leafs Go! 50° Fahrenheit (10° C) Californians shiver uncontrollably, Canadians plant gardens. 35° Fahrenheit (1.6° C) Italian cars won't start, Canadians drive with the windows down. 32° Fahrenheit (0° C) American water freezes, Canadian water gets thicker. 0° Fahrenheit (-17.9° C) New York City landlords finally turn on the heat, Canadians have the last barbecue of the season. -60° Fahrenheit (-51° C) Mt. St. Helens freezes, Canadians Girl Guides sell cookies door to door. -100° Fahrenheit (-73° C) Santa Claus abandons the North Pole, Ottawa canal opens for skating. -173° Fahrenheit (-114° C) Ethyl alcohol freezes, Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg. -460° Fahrenheit (-273° C) Absolute zero; all atomic motion stops, Canadians start saying "cold eh?" -500° Fahrenheit (-295° C) Hell freezes over, Leafs win Stanley Cup Joke #2 - Here is one that actually sounds like a method that the Canadian government would actually use A retired gentleman named Al went to the CPP office to apply for his pension. After waiting in line a long time he got to the counter. The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver's license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he was very sorry, but he seemed to have left his wallet at home. "I will have to go home and come back later." The woman says, "Unbutton your shirt." So he opens his shirt revealing lots of curly silver hair. She says, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me," and she processed his CPP application. When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the CPP office. She said, "You should have dropped your pants, you might have gotten disability too." |