It had be about a month and we were in Texas now. The tour was going good and if I didn't know any better, I'd think that they got twice as many fans everyday compared to the day before. We were on the stage and I was doing my daily routine, watching them rehearse, eating an apple and watching Nick mess up on a move and Fatima yell at him. Nick kept messing up on a curtain section so I decided to jump in.
"Nick, if you don't focus your not gonna get anymore kisses from me!" I shouted waiting for his reaction. She started the music and they began on cue. Nick, messed up of course. You'd think he'd be able to do it in his sleep by now.
"No kisses for you, sweet cakes!" I told him.
"Come on, I can't help it, it's too hard! Why don't you try it!" He said walking over to me.
"Okay. Fatima, music please." I said walking to the floor. Everyone backed up so I could do it by myself. She started the music and I counted the beats in my head, trying my hardest to remember the moves Fatima was instructing. It was hard, I'll admit that, but I guess it was from watching them so much. I did the last move and added a few of my own, just to be funny.
"Okay, okay, you can do it. Mind showing me how?" Nick said as I stopped dancing.
"Sure, watch my feet closely. Step one, 2,3...4 turn, down, back, up 3, 2, 1 and down. Got it?"
"Try it with me." I did it with him and sure enough he got it, finally.
"See, when you watch close enough it doesn't seem so hard anymore."
"Yeah, I guess. Thanks." He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek, and stepped back into place.
"Thanks, Marrisa. That just saved me 10 minutes of aggravation!" Fatima smiled as she passed by me. I smiled back.
*~*~*~*Back at the Hotel*~*~*~*
"So where are we going now?" I asked sitting next to Nick on the bed.
"Don't know, don't care." He said laying back.
"Aww... is pour Nicky tired?" I said in a baby voice, playing with his hair.
"No." He sounded almost mad.
"What's wrong?" He didn't answer me. "Nick, seriously, what's wrong?"
"Nothing. I just don't get why you had to show off like you did earlier."
"I wasn't showing off!" I scoffed. "Where did you get that?"
"I donno, how you just HAD to show me how to do that one part that I could have done on my own."
"You asked me to!" I said standing up.
"So, that didn't mean you had to take the opportunity to make me feel stupid!" He shouted standing up also.
"This is not happening." I mummered to myself. "I'm not gonna take this." I said as I opened the door.
"Where are you going?"
"Anywhere but here." I said as I slammed it shut.
I walked over to a park that was near by and sat on the bridge that was connected to two slides. 'Where did he get that I was showing off? Did I embarrass him or something?' I thought to myself. I didn't know he was so sensitive to things like that. I stayed on that bridge for so long thinking about what happened, I didn't notice it was starting to get dark.
"Oh, bob! I gotta get home. Fast." I said stumbling to get up. I rushed over to get back to the hotel. The rest of the guys had gotten other rooms. I decided to pay Brian a visit. I walked up stairs and knocked on his door and waited for him to answer.
"Marrisa, where the hell have you been?! You had us worried sick!" He said pulling me in his room. All the others were gathered in there, my guess wondering where I was.
"I was just at the park down the street. Sorry if I worried you too much." I said sitting on the bed.
"Thank God your okay!" Nick said hugging me.
"Why were you out so long? Did anything happen?" Everyone just started bombarding me with questions.
"Guys! Please!" I shouted standing up. "I'm fine, I just went out for a walk and lost track of time, okay? Will you just chill out! I'm here now and nothing happened to me."
"But what if something did?" Kevin said said coming up to me. He put his hands on my shoulders and waited for me to answer.
"Stop it with the 'if's'. Nothing happened. I'm fine and I'm here. That's all you have to worry about for now. If you'll excuse me, I'd like to get some sleep." I said stepping away from Kevin. As I was about to walk out the door, Brian grabbed me for a hug.
"I'm sorry, you just had us worried." He whispered in my ear.
"I know. It's okay." I said returning his hug. I stepped out of the room and walked to my own. I took a quick shower and got dressed in my tigger jammies Kevin got me. I stepped out of the bathroom and saw all the lights out and Nick laying in bed asleep. Quietly, I walked over to his bed and gave him a quick kiss on the lips.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to embarrass you." I whispered in his ear. I lifted the covers up and laid in my own bed facing him, thinking about how much I needed to learn about him. He was so sweet and so gentle, and I was surprised he had said something to me about the dancing thing. I was glad he was honest with me, though. We never fought. That was the first argument we had gotten into since we started going together. And that was almost a month ago. I loved all the little things about him though, The way he always would go back to the E/R and play on his Play station. And how Fatima always got on him for messing up on a step. Or even how he would subconsciously talk to himself when he was nervous. And if we were walking down the street, he'd never turn down a fan's request for a picture or a signing of something. Not only was he sweet to me, but he was sweet to everyone around him. I knew I needed to put this fight behind me. But, now that I think about it, I'm actually glad we got into it. It just made me think of how precious he really was.
I laid there the rest of the night thinking about how much I adored him. It was about 3 am when I heard Nick wrestling around in bed. I turned over to see what he was doing. He sat up and looked over at me. I guess he thought I was asleep.
"Marrisa, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said those things, it was wrong and it was mean. I just hope you forgive me." He whisper and stood up and walked to the bathroom and got something to drink. He came back in the room and looked at me. I turned around and stared right back at him.
"Nick, I was never really mad at you." I said sitting up.
"How long have you been awake?" He asked sitting next to me on the bed.
"All night. I couldn't get to sleep."
"Oh." Was all he said. We sat in and uncomfortable silence for a few minutes.
"Look, Nick, I'm sorry I embarrassed you like that. I should have been more careful on what I was doing. I didn't mean anything by it, and next time I'll make sure I don't do it again."
"Marrisa, look at me. You have nothing to be apologizing about. I shouldn't have gotten mad, just because I ASKED my girlfriend to help me out on something that I needed help on. My ego just go out of place and now that it's back where it's suppose to be, we should be fine. Truth is, when you were in the shower, I was thinking. I really don't deserve someone like you. Your so sweet and understanding, and apologize when you don't need to." He said smiling. "You need someone the opposite of me-" I cut him off.
"You mean someone who's mean, and beat's me up, and doesn't care about me, who pushes me into things, and has a terrible voice so he can't put me to sleep?" I asked with question in my eyes.
"No, that's not what I meant."
"Well that's the opposite of you. Your sweet, caring, understanding, and best of all, you care about ME. That's why I like you. That's why we get along so go, is because you understand me and care about me. That's what I need." He paused for a minute.
"I really don't deserve you." He said pulling me down to lay down on his chest.
"Yes you do, you just don't realize it." We laid like that for a few more minutes until we were both almost asleep. I was about half way to LaLa land when Nick said something to me.
"Marrisa?"
"Hmm?" I said not really paying attention.
"I love you."
"Uh-huh." I mumbled falling completely asleep.
*~*~*~*The Next Morning*~*~*~*
Nick and I were in the middle of packing our bags, and got another one of AJ's mid morning interruptions. That was another routine.
"Good morning good friends of mine! Did you sleep well?"
"Well, I didn't get much of it, but I'll catch up later. What about you?" I asked as he sat on the bed.
"I had a real good sleep."
"I'll bet you 20 bucks he picked up a whore last night." I whispered to Nick.
"No, she wasn't a whore, just someone I met at a club. We didn't sleep together either, just had oral sex."
"Oh, how did you get Monica here? I thought she was still in D.C.!" Nick asked with a chuckle.
"Haha, funny!" He said and was about to leave the room. "By the way, we're leaving in about 30 minutes."
"Thanks!" I shouted as he closed the door.
"We're gonna have to start locking our door in the morning." Nick said.
"Yea, I know." I said zipping my bag. I sat down on the bed and looked up a Nick. "Is something bothering you?"
"No. Why?" He asked looking down at me.
"No reason, you just look flustered, that's all."
"No nothing's bothering me." He said zipping his bag. "C'mon, I'll take the bags and you get my back pack and give the key to Donna." He said as he picked up our stuff and walked out the door.
"Weird." I mumbled to myself and walked out.
*~*~*~*On The Bus*~*~*~*
I laid in my bunk, trying to think of something hat could have upset Nick. I was, yet again, clue less. I don't think I said anything to upset him, but I guess he was just tired. That had to be it, he was just tired.
I got bored and decided I'd talk to Nick. I got out of my bunk and looked at the one above mine. There he was, not quite asleep, but not exactly awake either. I quietly climbed into his bunk with him and crawled over by the wall. There was just enough room since he was laying on his side. I sat there watching him. Waiting for his angelic face to notice I was there. A few minutes later his eyes started to flutter.
"Morning sleepy head. Have a nice nap?" I asked kissing his nose.
"It would have been better if you were up here with me, but yea, it was okay." He said smiling.
"Well, I just came up here to talk to you. Or just lay here with you, either one, I wouldn't mind." I told him.
"Well anything inpartictular you want to talk about?"
"Your family, life, whatever." I paused for a minute. "Aren't you cold?"
"Kinda. Here, get under the covers with me." He said lifting the blanket that was under both of us. We got situated, and I laid there in his arms until somebody decided to say something.
"Awww! How cute!" AJ said as he passed by.
"AJ, you really know how to spoil the moment! Shut up!" Nick yelled after him.
"It's okay, we'll live." I said calming him down.
"Yea, I know."
We, again, sat there in silence, just enjoying each other's presence. Without warning, he turned over and kissed me. BUt this wasn't one of those kisses we usually had. This was one of those passionate kisses that I'd never had before. One of those kisses that only people who loved each other.... Oh, bob! What am I getting myself into?!
I pushed him away and slipped out of the bunk and ran to the bathroom. I needed a shower, that was the only thing that could relax me and get me to calm down. I sank down in the hot shower, letting the steam and water burn my thoughts. He couldn't love me. Could he? No, it's too soon. Real love takes time. No way he's serious. But why would he joke about something like that? How? Why now? Why did he have to do that? What was I going to say to him? All these questions were fluttering my mind and the fact that I had no answers, made tears threaten to fall. I didn't know what to do, what to say, how to handle this. Where's Molly when you need her?!
I eventually let the tears fall and just let it all out. So much for a good time. The hot water was almost out and I felt the bus come to a stop. My guess was for something to eat. I stopped the water and stepped out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around my body. I made sure no one was around while I rushed to my bunk. I slipped in and closed my curtains. I got dressed in a pair of jeans and a tank top with a cardigan. I pulled my wet hair in to pigtail braids and looked out the window to see where we were at. McDonalds. Go figure.
I noticed the other buses were cross the street at a Taco Bell and saw Mandy walk back on the bus. We had actually grown pretty close. I always went to talk to her when I had some sort of problem, or even if I was just bored. I quickly got off and rushed across the street and stepped onto her bus.
"Mandy?" I shouted.
"Rissa? What are you doing here?" She said as I walked into the E/R. She put her food down and walked over to me.
"Can we talk? I really need you right now."
"Sure just let me grab my food and we'll goto the bunk." She picked up her bag of tacos and mexi melts and lead me over to her bunk. We both sat down and she waited for me to talk.
"Nick kissed me." I said simply.
"Well he usually does, how is that a problem?" She smiled.
"This was no usual kiss. This was the type of kiss that said 'I Love you'. That's the problem." I said twiddling my fingers.
"Oh... when did this happen?"
"About an hour ago. We were just laying in bed together, with our clothes on mind you, and he just kissed me. I liked it, but it was too much for me. I don't love him. And I know he doesn't love me, it's too soon. And I don't know what to do." I was already crying by now.
"Come here." She said as she hugged me. "Don't worry about it. If you want you can stay on here until your ready to talk to Nick."
"I just don't know what to say to him. And I don't know how to handle this." I said pulling away.
"Tell ya what. Why don't you go back and get your stuff and I'll go in a get you something to eat, okay?"
"Thanks, I'll be right back." I said whipping the rest of my tears. I got off and hurried across the street. I saw Brian on the way on told him what was going on.
"Where are you going?"
"To Mandy's bus. She said I could stay over there for a little while. I'll call you tonight and tell you why, okay?"
"Alright, have fun." He said as I threw my bag over my shoulder. I stepped off and saw Mandy over by the bus holding up a bag of food.
"Hurry up or I'll eat it!" She yelled laughing. I looked back and saw Nick coming out of the McDonalds. I looked for cars and ran across the street to meet Mandy.
