Needless to say, Mandy and I talked all night. Literally. We talked as we both laid in our separate bunks, mine right across the isle from hers. We stayed up until about 4 am, only cause she had an interview at 10.
"We got to the hotel about an hour ago. We're sharing a room, I figured you wouldn't want to share a room with you-know-who. I already moved your stuff up there." Mandy said as I woke up and went into the kitchen. I got a cup of coffee and sat next to her in the booth.
"Well, personally, I'd like to get some more sleep. Could we go up there now?" I asked with weary eyes. She nodded and we both stood up. I didn't bother to get dressed, I didn't have any clothes, they were upstairs. I walked through the hotel with my cup of coffee in my Tigger boxers and tank top, as I got weird looks from the passer-by's. I only hopped I didn't get arrested for indecent exposure. I shouldn't.
I ran into Brian on my way up. Mandy went back to get something and gave me a key.
"Hey, Bri! Sorry I didn't call you last night, I meant to, but I kinda got into and uninterruptable talking stage with Mandy." I said as I stopped him.
"So." He said with and flash of anger in his voice. He tried to walk away again.
"What's wrong?" I asked stopping him.
"Nothing, I'm only ticked off at someone standing in front of me." He said crossing his arms.
"Wha'd I do?" I asked looking flustered.
"You hurt Nick! How could you not care about him like that! Your so heartless!"
"That hurt, that really hurt. I didn't do a damn thing to him. Why don't you ask him how he thinks I feel. Try that one."
"Whatever," He said to me and walked off.
I ran my room and got dressed as fast as possible in some jeans and a tank top and got my shoes on. I ran into Mandy on my way out.
"I'm going for a walk. Don't count on me coming back anytime soon." I said and ran off. That's all I did for a long time. I ran. I ran to the park that was about a mile away. When I got there, this time all I did was think. I sat on the bench and thought my heart out.
'I know exactly what I need to do. I need to get out on my own. I'll move back to New York, get the rest of my high school degree, and goto a community collage.' I thought. It was only true. I was tired of staying cramped up on a bus. I didn't need to do it anymore now. I had no reason to. Nick and I were probably never going to speak to each other again, Brian hates me cause he's being an insensitive little brat now. Why was I still here?
I walked back to the hotel to give Mandy the news. I unlocked the door to find her sitting on the bed reading a magazine. I guessed she had already come back from the interview.
"Guess what." I said as I sat next to her.
"What?"
"I'm now officially moving to New York. I'm going to leave after the concert tonight." I said with a smile. She didn't return the friendly gesture.
"Are you crazy? What about this whole big thing with your parents? Hello?!" She said holding my face.
"I'll figure that out when the time comes! Don't worry about that now. The point is, is that I need to right now. Please accept it." I said moving her hands.
"As stubborn as your being, I still think your making a mistake. But, it's not worth losing a friend." She said giving me a hug. "I'm gonna miss you, girl!"
"I'll miss you too. But I need to do this." I said as I returned the hug. We eventually let go and paused to think about it.
"I know. Why don't you go and tell the others and well have a pig out in the honor of you leaving?" She said standing up.
"Okay, I'll be back in a bit." I said as I stood up and walked out the door. I found Donna and got Kevin, Howie, and AJ's room numbers. I pulled Kevin and Howie out and pushed them into AJ's room.
"I have some news. You might not like it, but it's not your decision. I'm moving to New York. Tonight." I said as I paced the room. I stopped when I didn't hear them say anything.
"Why are you doing this?" AJ asked as he noticed I stopped pacing the carpet.
"For myself. I need to do this, AJ."
"Nick had something to do with this didn't he?"
"Yes, he was part of it, but that's beside the point."
"AJ, lay off of that subject." Kevin inserted. He stood up and made me look him in the eye. "As much as I don't want you to do this, I can't stop you. I want to, but I can't. But do me a favor, call me if you ever need any help on anything. Even if it's homework." He smiled.
"I love you, Kevin." I said as I gave him a hug. He had been such a father figure to me, and I didn't know what to say sometimes. I think that just expressed alot.
"I love you, too. Take care." He gave me a kiss on the cheek and walked out the door. Howie stepped up to me and said almost the same things.
"I'll only let you go, if you promise to call. And if you don't call me, I'll fly to New York myself and take you back on tour. Hear me?"
"I hear ya, captain! Too bad we couldn't have anymore of those night's together!" I laughed. He laughed along.
"Bye. I'll miss you." I could hear his voice shake and I could tell he wanted to cry. He gave me a kiss on the cheek also and walked out the door. There was a silence between me and AJ.
"So, I guess it's just us left." I said breaking the silence. We had grown real close and were like brother and sister almost. "Please try to understand. I really need your support right now!" I cried as I sat next to him.
"So it's Nick that's making you do this. Who care's about him? Why don't you stay for your safety?"
"Cause I need to do this! I can't stay with 2/3's of you hating me! Not to mention I'm not going to live with you all my life, I can't. I'm sorry AJ. Please don't be mad." I said as tears came flowing out.
"I'm not mad at you." He said standing up. "But I'm going to beat that mother fucker's head in!" He said as he headed for the adjoining door. I remembered from the list that Nick and Brian were next door to AJ.
"AJ please don't!" I screamed as he opened the door. Brian and Nick both hopped up from their positions as they saw AJ heading towards them.
"You mother fucker! How the hell could you be so damn cold and do this to her? Do you even care about her? Did you know she's planning on moving out cause of you 2?"
"AJ, please! Stop it!" I screamed. He just ignored me. I couldn't take it anymore. I just ran, I didn't know where to go, what to do. I ran to the roof of the building and just sat there and cried -- I couldn't do anything else. I sat there for a long time, just trying to figure out what to do. I couldn't face anyone now, it would be too hard. I cried for hours. I finally went over to the ledge of the building and just looked down.
"Should I? It'd save everyone alot of time. Not many would miss me." I whispered to myself. Then I thought about my plans in New York. I could start a whole new life there. Maybe even change my name. I looked down once more and turned around to be faced with Mandy. We stood there just looking at each other for a minute.
"I wasn't going to jump, ya know." I replied to her stare.
"I know," She said with a small laugh. "But you have me worried there for a second." She paused. "We need to talk. C'mon. We'll go back to the room, have a cup of coffee, and we'll discuss this whole thing. K?" She said walking closer to me.
"Okay." I mumbled. I followed closely behind her as we walked to the elevator and to our room. We walked in and I sat on the bed while she made the coffee. She sat next to me after she let it start.
"What happened?" She asked after a minute.
"Gosh, Mandy! It was horrible! I went and told Kevin, AJ, and Howie about my plans. Well Kevin and Howie took it well even though they didn't want me to leave. AJ, Geez, AJ! He busted into Nick and Brian's room and nearly kicked both of their asses along with telling them what was going on." I started to cry. "I didn't want them to know, until I left. I was going to have you tell them after the concert." I sat against the back of the bed hugging my knees letting all my emotion flow out in tears. "I'm so sick of all this crap I'm putting everyone through! I can't do this, It's too wrong. I just wish I had never ran into Kevin at that diner; none of this would have ever happened." She didn't do anything, all she did was just sit there and look at me.
"I really don't know what I can do," She said finally speaking. "Nothing I can say will help you. But you can't just keep running away from your problems." She said firmly. "You need to get your butt up, go out to Nick's room and talk to both Brian and Nick. It's his fault anyways!"
"I guess your right." I said softly. "I didn't deserve what I got. And not to mention he was the one trying to rush me into things." I said a little louder. "I'll be back. I think their finally going to hear the REAL side of the story." I got up out of the bad and wiped my tears away with a sniffle. I walked down the hall and walked up to Nick's door and knocked on it. I waited a minute as Brian opened the door.
"What do you want?" He said holding on to the door.
"We need to talk. All three of us." I said as I barged into the room.
"Sure just help yourself right in." He mumbled.
"I will, thank you. Where's Nick?" I asked as I made myself comfortable in one of the chairs.
"He's in the bathroom fixing his face."
"What happened to him?" I asked curiously.
"AJ hit him in the mouth."
"Geez I swear! I hate that girl!" He said as he walked into the room. He didn't notice me cause I was sitting behind him. "She's put up through so much shit, And I'm sick of it! I'm glad she's moving." I sat there with my mouth wide open.
"Before you go off declaring you hate some on, why don't you try listening to them!" I stood up and stood right in front of him. "Did either of you DARE to think about how I felt? Did you even care? Would you like to hear MY side of the story, Nick?" I screamed in his face.
"Try me." He said not moving a muscle.
"OKay I will. Nick, I'll tell you straight up, I don't love you. You may think you do, but I don't. I'm sorry if that offends you, but get over your petty little self and live with it. I can't even explain how confused I was when you kissed me. 'Dose he really love me? How could he? It's too soon' were some of the things running through my head. I was-"
"What is it with women these days and being able to sense these things?" Brian asked cutting me off.
I sighed as I moved along, ignoring his comment. "I wasn't going to love someone I didn't know I loved." I stood there watching both of them. "I just can't believe my own boyfriend and one of my best friends couldn't even care enough to see how I felt. I'm sorry, for whatever I did wrong. but I can't help it." I said softly. I think tears were under way. "So if you don't care about me, this goes for both of you, tell me now and we can save alot of pain and time." I said as I sat down." We all just sat there in silence for a few moments.
"Marrisa, listen to me." Brian said as he walked next to me. "I'm sorry. Nicky here, gave me the wrong idea about this whole thing. I guess it was wrong of me to not listen to what you had to say. I guess it just kinda made me mad the way he told it. Do you forgive?"
"Yes, I forgive you." He smiled and gave me a quick kiss on the forehead. He brushed my hair back, stood up an left the room. Nick hadn't moved a muscle since I had sat down.
"So are you waiting for me to say something, or are you just going to stand there like a statue all night?" I said after Brian was long gone.
"Why didn't you just tell me instead of leaving?" He said as he turned around.
"Tell me something. What would have YOU done?"
"Well, I guess you have a point there. But I still would have said something and not waited so long." He pointed out.
"Surprise; I was going to tell you tonight. That is until Brian said something about hating me suddenly." I said in a low voice.
He sighed. "Okay maybe I didn't have any right to get him against you. But geez! What'd you want me to do? I thought you didn't care about me anymore. I wasn't going to try to rush you into anything; you should know me better than that." He walked over to me and knelt down. He grabbed my hands and held them softly but firmly in his hands. "Marrisa, I love you. I don't care if you don't love me back, but it's not going to stop me from ever loving you." He brought his hands up to his face and laid a soft kiss on each of them.
"Nick, you may think-"
"I know. I don't tell this to everyone. I don't know why it came up so fast either, but it just did. There's just something about you, that makes me want to hold you in my arms forever and kiss you for eternity. I don't ever want to lose you, I wouldn't be able to live without you."
"Nick, why'd we have to meet? Why am I going to end up falling in love with you, then getting my heart broken?" My emotions we getting the best of me as the streaks of tears flew down my cheeks and onto the soft felt of the chair.
"I'm not going to break your heart. I promise. Why would you think that?"
"Because your so perfect," I said as I stood up. I began to pace the room slowly. "Your everything every girl wants in a man, and I just think your going to leave me for someone who's prettier, and smarter, and just plain better than I am." I stood there as he watched me bite one of my nails while holding my arm up with my other one. "And I know we've had this talk before, but maybe things really aren't working out."
"Did you even listen to a word I just said? Marrisa, things are working out; couples fight. Yes, we're not the couple that gets along best, but you're forgetting about all the fun times we have. Like the truth or dare's, and just laying in bed together, thinking of each other." He slowly walked over to me and ran his fingers over my lips. "The kisses I've really missed over the past 2 days. I love the sweet taste of your lips and how their always so perfect. Marrisa, I love everything about you, weather it's how we argue, or how you daze off in space thinking about nothing, or even how you always play your little jokes on everyone. We'll stay together for a while, you'll see."
"But what if-"
"Stop with the future and start with the now," He told me as he ran his hand through my hair. He gave me a quick kiss and looked at me. "Promise me you'll do that."
"Promise. Cross my heart, hope to die." I said smiling. He laughed a little and gave me another kiss and I let him deepen it a bit.
"Can we please not fight like that EVER again?" He asked as we broke apart.
"Yea, I'll admit, I missed you," I said with a slight laugh as he pulled me down on the chair with him. I sat in his lap just starring at his ocean blue eyes.
"I never realized how beautiful your eyes were until now," I said in a dazing voice. "Their just so entrancing."
"Well, I've always noticed yours; how they remind me of tea leaves and grapes."
"Grapes? Where'd you get that?"
"Well they sorta have a purple tint to them. I like it though."
"I never noticed that. Humm..... weird." We sat there for a few moments as I laid my head on his shoulder.
"So, what do you want to do?" He finally asked.
"Just hold me." I said with my eyes closed. I soon fell asleep in his arms.
*~*~*~*2 Hours later*~*~*~*
I woke up, not even realizing I had fallen asleep. I looked around and realized I was on his bed in his room. I looked on the table next to the bed and there was a note from Nick.
Baby Doll,
We had to have a quick rehearsal and do the concert. But I, again, didn't have the heart to wake you. I left the computer set up in your room cause I knew you'd want it. Mandy and everyone is with us, but Lonnie is there. He should be in your room. I should be back by 11 to 11:30. I'll see you in a bit. Love you, Nick.
I smiled at the fact he used my nick name. He'd given me a pen name to call him every time we wrote a note like that. I still had to give him one.
I got up and walked down the hall to my room. I unlocked the door and flicked on the lights to find Lonnie sleeping on my bed. I woke him up and sent him to his room for a nap; so he wouldn't be disturbed by me. I took the computer off the desk and went to my bed and sat it on my lap.
I suddenly decided to look up some info on my parents. I went to a search engine and typed in their names. Scrolling down the results, I found a web page for the business my father co-owned.
"Daddy said he didn't have a company web site," I muttered to myself in confusion. I clicked on the link and saw a place for biography's on the workers and family. I clicked on my dad's and searched through it looking for anything I didn't know about. I did the same with my mom's.
I got curious and clicked on my biography. I read through the first paragraph and it seemed okay. I they began to read the lines of the second paragraph. Tears started to flow down my cheeks.
"It can't be true, could it?" I mumbled to myself. I turned away from the computer and walked over to the window seat and sat there letting it all sink through.
"Adopted?"
