The Blair Mitch Project

Dedicated to MST3K Experiment 512 - 'Mitchell'!

Winner of the coveted 'Porky' award from Porkapalooza!

What is 'Mitchell'? It's a 1975 combined ripoff of 'Dirty Harry' (bad boy cop) and 'The Rockford Files' (semi-humorous scrapes) that fails to match up to either. Joe Don Baker plays the title character, an overweight, sweaty, boozy, gluttonous, lazy, incompetent, insubordinate, ill-tempered, unpopular, hooker-shagging redneck cop. And he's meant to be the hero! Despite a script written by Ian Kennedy Martin, the creator of 'The Sweeney' (one of the best and most influential British cop shows ever), 'Mitchell' makes no sense, has no interesting (or even vaguely likeable) characters and just sort of blunders to a conclusion, where Mitchell shoots in the back a character who's essentially a patsy for a larger crime going on around him. What a hero!

So why's it so popular? Because it was the basis for episode 512 of 'Mystery Science Theater 3000', where it was the swansong for original host Joel Hodgson and was also one of the show's funniest ever episodes. Poor Joe Don took a real roasting from Joel and the Bots, and as a result apparently said that if he ever met any of the show's creators or performers, he'd "kick their asses". Since Joe Don is now getting on a bit and is even more portly than he was in 'Mitchell', that would be a sight worth seeing...

Anyway, enough introductory blather. You want to read the transcripts, so here they are. (NB: the host segments will be added soon, don't worry.) There are a couple of places where I couldn't make out dialogue or riffs - oddly, all the inaudible riffs belong to Tom Servo. Speak up, Kevin! Enjoy the feast of pork that is 'Mitchell'!

Intro/host segment 1
Part 1
Host segment 2
Part 2
Host segment 3
Part 3
Host segment 4
Part 4
Host segment 5

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