The True Adventure of Once Hardcore Nutball Xenite at the Burbank Convention

Copyright 1997 by Ephany.  Not to be reprinted/posted without author's
permission.

Disclaimer:  These are the events of January 10-12, 1997 as best my fuzzy
brain can remember them.  Any misquotes of individuals is purely
unintentional.

First, let me just say that my convention experience was just as fun filled
and thrilling as I could've wished and I'd just like to thank a few people. 

Thanks to Panther for graciously allowing me to crash in her room. 
Thanks to Solvida for the constant supply of warm fuzzies. :)
Thanks to Sal-Fan for starting my previously non-existent card collection in
fine style.  
Thanks to Lucy for showing up and being such a class act!
Thanks to Tyldus for the hat and the opportunity of a lifetime (You're the
man- uh Centaur!).
And thanks to all the Xenites, Gabfans, ROCkers, Herculeans and Sorbonnes for
making the con such an awesome event!

Ok, now the details:

Friday:

I had this weird sense of unreality about the whole adventure even as I met
Panther at the airport and we boarded the plane together.  I couldn't quite
grasp the fact that I was going to hang out for a whole weekend with 2,000
other crazed Herc/Xena fans and actually be in the same room with LUCY, (not
to mention, finally getting to see what Tyldus looks like!).  I was armed
with both mine and my girlfriend's posters hoping to get them both signed
even though I knew the autograph rules would be strict.  I had all my finest
Xena-wear (jeans and 3 Xena t-shirts) and I was ready for anything.

As soon as we got to the hotel the fun began, as we ran into a bunch of
con-goers, mostly Herc fans, which included Taurus Rat (who shares my sign),
Tyche and the ever popular and infamous Apollena, Queen of the Amazons.  They
were showing photo albums of  Kevin/Herc pictures and passing out colored
i.d. ribbons for newcomers- yellow for Herc, purple for Xena and black for
Ares or Hades.  There were a few quiet Xenites (is that an oxymoron?) hanging
out also.  Apollena and crew had great nametags made by the queen herself.  I
was jealous and vowed to be better prepared next time.   

Panther and I took our stuff up to our room and went back down to the
 gathering which had moved into the bar.  I snapped pictures right and left
and made sure to write down people's names immediatly, since I knew I'd never
remember them.  Soon, hunger called and we decided to go off to the mall for
dinner where the food was a lot cheaper.  Our group was so large they had to
use the large airport shuttle rather than the regular van.  I'm sure the
driver wondered what he was getting into when he finally came out to find us
all doing the Xena yell up to a Xenite who was waving from a hotel window.
 At the mall we made sure to stop at the toy store in search of  Xena
dollies, but no such luck.

On the way back, Taurus Rat and I stopped at the grocery store for goodies
for the next day.  When one of the store employees, found out we were from
out of town he asked what brought us there and we told him about the con.  He
proceeded to give us "the look" (you know the one I mean, we've all gotten it
sooner or later) and said, "You came all the way here just for that? Why?"
And of course we replied, "Because she (Lucy) is FABULOUS!"

Back at the hotel, we stowed our goodies and went in search of more Xenites.
 We found them at the party in Kim's room.  More pictures, and I finally got
to put familiar names to new faces.  We met Kim, of course, and Penthe, Kit,
Silver, Empower, Lord Nelson, Kittle, Lilac and others who's names escape me
at the moment.  We watched a couple of great Xena videos plus Altared States.
 Shortly after 10:00 we were forced to break up and go our separate ways,
since we couldn't quite keep our enthusiasm to acceptable volume levels.  

Not, quite ready for sleep yet, I wandered back down to the lobby looking for
someone to hang with.  I found T-Rat, Tyche, Apollena and a few others also
looking for adventure.  So we headed over to the actual convention hall to
take a look.

None of us were quite prepared for how huge it was, even though we knew how
many people were coming.  The rows of chairs went on forever.  And at the
front of the room was a huge stage with 4 almost lifesized cardboard Xena &
Hercules figures.

And on the stage itself, a bunch of funnily dressed guys were running around
hacking away at each other with swords in fine ancient New Zealan- uh, Greek
style.  We inched our way to the front to watch, and when no one kicked us
out, we made ourselves comfortable in the first few rows.

The men (and later a woman who cracked a mean whip!) were members of the
Swordplay demonstration group, rehearsing for their part in the show.  After
watching for only a few minutes, I decided "Queens with Swords" would be a
more fitting description of the group.  They were incredibly goofy, with a
very campy sense of humor and they seemed to be having a great time.  They
also didn't seem to mind having a preview audience and even started to
compete a little for our attention.  Bobby, who had long Herc-like hair (that
was the only resemblence) seemed to be the bigest goof, and the showiest with
a sword.  I went up to him during a break in the action and he let me hold
his sword and even try the Xena-twirl (ok, I'm sure someone did it before she
did, but what's you're point?)  I managed not to drop the sword, or hit
anyone else but had to give it back fairly quickly.  

As the night went on, everyone seemed to get even sillier, oncy again with
Bobby in the lead.  At one point he ran over to a row of chairs, attached one
of the "special needs section" signs to his body (I won't say where!) and
then took a Xena cardboard figure and bent it over backwards for a passionate
kiss.  Tyche wasted no time getting all the hijinks on film.  After
rehearsal, there were formal introductions, autographs and photo opportunites
holding one of the swords.

Finally our little group broke up to at least try to unwind and sleep so we
wouldn't all be exausted the next day. 

Saturday:

Panther and I took the first shuttle into downtown for breakfast at a 24 hr
greasy spoon named Harry's that had great pancakes.  On our way out of the
hotel, we passed Sal-Fan, Cathbad and others.  When he heard that I did not
have a single Herc or Xena card to my name, Sal-Fan handed me five full
sandwich bags full of cards and said, "here, take whatever you want and pass
them on."  During breakfast, I sorted and found that I had almost 2 1/2 sets!
 Thanks Sal-Fan!  (BTW, I do have extra's...) 

Since the first shuttle wasn't til 9am, we didn't get back to the hotel until
11:30.  The line for people with tickets, waiting to get in was already about
2 blocks long.  I got in line to hold our place while Panther went up to the
room and then we switched.  Although the line was long, the Creation staff
was organized about taking tickets and by the time I got back down, most
people were already inside.  I went in and immediately signed up for the Xena
fan club (I can't resist a good blooper video and it comes with my all-time
favorite poster).  Then I went on a shopping spree.  By the time I was done I
had everything I needed to be the envy of all my not-quite-Xenite friends.
 The list included:  Xena hat and t-shirt, 2 subsets of Xena cards plus 1
hologram and one embossed, 3  8x10 pics of Xena, Xena w/ Herc and Callisto
and 1 issue of Spectrum magazine with Xena on the cover.  I looked around at
the rest of the merchandise tables, the most impressive of which was the
sword table, with every kind of sword you could ever want.  I stopped to
watch the promotion video for Xena which included lots of interviews with LL,
ROC, Rob Tapert and others.  You could tell it had been made near the
beginning of the series but it was very interesting.  It also had an
interview with Diana Rowan, the New Zealand casting director.  It's a good
time to live in NZ!  There are always thinking they won't be able to find
enough people with American accents for the show.  Now if I could just get a
ride there....

At 1:00, I went into the auditorium and sat with Panther and T-Rat to hear
Robert Trebor, aka Salmoneous speak.  He was a real treat and seemed to be
very open and outgoing and great with all the kids who came up to ask
questions.  Most memorable quote: "Salamoneous doesn't have schemes!  He has
plans..."  If Robert has anything in common with Salmoneous, it's that he is
abundantly friendly and good natured.  Later when I saw him roaming the
hallway, he was very gracious about letting me take a picture with him.

After Robert's appearance, I went back to roaming the hallway, talking to
other fans (and snapping those pictures as always!)  I wandered down to the
fan club table for Lucy and Renee and met Renee's mom, Sandra Wilson.  She is
adorable!  Others have said it already but let me just reiterate that this
woman is sooooooooooo nice.  I loved talking to her.  You can tell just how
proud and thrilled she is for Renee.  She was happily chatting with fans all
day and recruiting writers and subscribers for the upcoming newsletter.  She
also posed for pictures and recorded video messages for Renee, who apparently
thinks that we all just like Lucy- NOT!  So before I knew what was happening,
I had a camera in my face (remind me not to get famous!) and I stammered out
a hi to Renee and told her that we Gabfans and ROCkers absolutely adore her
and hope that she'll make it to the next con.  (I forgot to mention that I'm
available for work as a dancing Bacchae girl :)  I talked to Sandra for a
while longer and, when Robert Trebor came over to say hi, she took our
picture for me.  Thoroughly enchanted, I went back to the auditorium to hear
Bruce Campbell/Autolycus.

Bruce is a ham with a capitol H.  He had a silly, biting sense of humor and
loved making playful insinuations about himself and Lucy.  When one child
asked him how he felt about the hiding-the-chest scene in Royal Couple of
Thieves he said, "I payed the producers for that scene!"  

Afterwards, Bruce and Robert signed autographs while Swordplay came on and
did their thing and were actually serious for once, shocking those of us that
knew better.

Then, the man who's responsible for it all, Rob Tapert- executive producer
and not-so-secret boyfriend of Lucy, came on stage to answer questions.  I'm
sure the entire audience was busy sizing him up the whole time.   But hey, if
Lucy likes him, he must be ok, and he seemed like a very nice person.
 Proving once again that kids can get away with anything, some cute little
cherub-looking child came up to the mic and asked innocently: "When are you
gonna marry Lucy?"  Rob was a good sport about the question but didn't really
answer it, which didn't surprise anybody.  Some people actually asked
production questions too.  And he had questions for us about what we want to
see on both shows, especially villians.

After getting my autographs from Robert and Bruce, I went back to wandering
the halls, taking pictures of people in costume, some of which were pretty
impressive.  I went to the end of the back hall where big security guys
looked suspiciously at everyone in the vicinity and looked ready to tackle
any over enthusiastic women who tried to rush Kevin.  Not being a Sorbonne or
a big Herc fan at that point, I was, never the less, not above hanging around
for a glimpse of "Hercules" in person.  I only saw the back of him from a
distance as he headed out to go on stage.  I rushed back to my seat in time
for a serious of studly Herc clips and the introduction of Kevin which sent
the crowd into enthusiastic cheering.

Kevin was cute as could be, BIG, BIG, BIG and obviously overwhelmed by the
1500 screaming fans.  For a minute he just stood there and soaked it all in,
not quite sure what to make of it.  Then he said, "I guess we're supposed to
have questions?  That's when he noticed the already long line of would-be
questioners with none other than Queen Apollena at the head of the line.  She
introduced herself and he recognized her immediately and said, "I've read
your emails!" with a big grin.  Apparently the mission of the Technical
Tattoo Team had been out of the bag for a while.  Apollena got the first of
many hugs.

Although, I'm still not a big Herc fan, after seeing Kevin interact with fans
for hours, I consider myself a newly converted Sorbonne.  He is just so NICE!
 Lots of women, girls and kids traded their questions for pictures and/or
hugs and he graciously granted every request.  When he picked up a little
toddler in a Hercules costume, it was cuteness personified.  Of course
someone had to ask if he's married (like that makes the odds better) and he
said no, which was met with screams of appreciation.

When the time came for autographs, there was a moment or two of panic when
they announced that Kevin would have to leave in 10 minutes and a whole
section of people hadn't even made it into the line yet.  A whole section of
people in the back got up and rushed into line which really pissed off those
of us in closer rows who had been waiting impatiently but quietly.  We
appealed to our volunteer, Claire, who went right over and rounded up the
miscreants and sent them back to their seats.  When she came back we cheered
and chanted her name.

We needn't have worried because Kevin was a trooper and stayed until every
last autograph was signed.  Then he met with his fan club backstage.  I tried
to crash the party, but was summarily kicked out by the big burly security
guy from the hall.  However I did get to shake his hand as he left.  They are
huge, warm and surprisingly soft.  He must use a lot of Jergens or something.
 My whole hand was completely swallowed in his.

Finally it was time for him to go.  As he left through the back door, he
paused to give out a few more hugs, which caused a mini-stampede and his
staff people had to literally drag him away.  I left the convention hall
thoroughly happy with my first day's adventure, but with a huge headache that
had started a few hours ago.  I found a large group of people in the lobby
making dinner plans but my head was pounding too hard to even think about
going.  It was all i could do to make it back to my room and collapse.  I
thought I would get up around 10:00 and see if anything was happening but I
ended up sleeping until 2:30am.  Of course, after that I couldn't get back to
sleep 'cause I was too excited thinking about actually seeing Lucy the next
day.  Panther was too excited to sleep too, so we talked for a little while
and then finally drifted off.

To be continued.....