The following Tuesday, Troy found himself sitting in yet another class with Gabriella sitting right next to him, her gaze never meeting his as it hadn't for most of the past week. Troy still ached from their breakup, there was no doubt about that, but he was also beginning to get worried about his ex, seeing Gabriella continue to come to school looking paler than before, more ragged each day. She constantly wore long sleeve tops and dark colors, deviating from her usual bright and more feminine clothing. Troy tilted his head as he observed yet another loose navy blue zip up hoodie and loose sweats of the same color and material covering Gabriella's body, the only color being a yellow tank top underneath the jacket.

"Miss Wellington, I told you that although I wish you a happy birthday that you need to put those balloons your friends gifted you with off to the side of the room. The students behind you cannot see the board," instructed the teacher, giving the petite red head a stern look.

She just nodded her head and did as she was told, losing a few white and black latex balloons in the process. As she was about to jump to grab the strings of the few that had escaped to the ceiling, the teacher coughed loudly and looked directly at her, communicating to the red head that he wanted her back in her seat immediately. After she was back in her seat, the teacher continued on with his lecture, writing on the board as he went.

Troy was able to focus on the board for the next ten minutes but found his gaze moving from the teacher and the board to the brunette sitting next to him who still made his heart speed up by her mere presence. It had been at least two weeks since Gabriella told him it was over and even more since their fight before she vanished. Troy realized over the weekend that he wasn't really ready to accept that it was over, at least without talking to her in person. Yes, Troy felt the sting of her dismissal of him for Tristan but once he got past that, Troy realized that she was like his air, that no matter what, even if it was just as a friend, Troy needed Gabriella in his life. Was he ready to accept her being with the other guy when he was only to be a friend? Not likely, but Troy was determined to try to make things more bearable especially as both of them seemed the worse for wear these days, neither hanging out with the gang. Gabriella seemed to only really feel comfortable with Taylor while Troy barely talked to Chad let alone the others. Only Chad knew about the breakup, of what happened, but Troy hadn't divulged more than that and had worked hard to put up a front in front of everyone, including his childhood best friend, to hide the pain. The fact that Gabriella had developed the habit of not looking at him when he was at her yet staring at him when he wasn't obviously returning her gaze made Troy's ache even larger, seeing the emptiness that seemed to have no bottom in her eyes.

That same emptiness was there in her eyes now, proving to Troy in another way that the Gabriella he knew, his Brie, wasn't who was sitting next to him. His Brie would be avidly taking notes, her brown eyes sparkling, not staring unseeingly at the board, not hearing a word the teacher was saying. Troy bet that if he waved his hand in front of her face, she wouldn't see it either.

Shaking his head, Troy returned his attention to the board and continued to take the notes that he could, trying to focus on that task and not on the person to his left who was one of the few just sitting there while the teacher went over what would be on the next test.

Everyone jumped a few moments later when there was a loud bang that echoed through the classroom. Troy's eyes shot up to where the balloons once were and saw that two were now popped, most likely due to the lights they had been touching, but his attention was drawn back to brunette on his left, who had a pained look on her face before he saw some glimmering tears on her cheeks. Before Troy could reach over and touch her, Gabriella dashed out of the classroom, letting out some sobs as she went. Instinctively, Troy rushed out right after her, ignoring the outraged look on their teacher's face, focused only on catching Gabriella. Halfway down the empty hall, Troy finally caught up and wrapped his arms around Gabriella's waist, pulling her body back to his and holding her there until Gabriella stopped struggling.

Ever so slowly, Troy turned Gabriella around and saw up close the sadness, the agony Gabriella was feeling at that moment and knew then that despite everything else, Troy would always be tied to Gabriella, that her pain would always be his, no matter what. He gently brought Gabriella close to his body again, leaning his cheek against the top of her dark curls as Troy felt every shaky cry. Sweet comforting words came tumbling out of Troy's mouth, feeling like he needed to make sure Gabriella would be okay past whatever she was going through. Despite his concern though, Troy felt guilty because as worried as he was about Gabriella, holding her small body to his, feeling her arms tightly around his own waist, made Troy happy, a feeling he hadn't felt since before their fight several weeks ago now.

After Gabriella cried some more, she eventually quieted down, loosening her grip on Troy but keeping her arms locked around him. Troy looked down at Gabriella's now upturned face and saw the shadows still present but he recognized that look now in her eyes as he felt that they were shining back at her in his, hope. He brushed away some of the lingering tears on her cheeks with his thumb of his right hand, wanting to kiss each soft cheek but hesitating in order to not freak her out. "Are you okay?"

Gabriella nervously bit her lip as she debated on what to tell him. After some debate, Gabriella shook her head and gave Troy an apologetic look. "I'm so sorry Troy, for taking you out of class like that. I just, I couldn't be there, I felt suffocated when all the memories came back, assaulting me and my senses like a bolt of lightening, like I was there again, experiencing everything."

Troy unwrapped his arms from around Gabriella's waist and placed one hand each on her upper arms, causing Gabriella to cringe, tears filling her eyes instantly again. "Brie, what is it? What's going on?"

Just then, the bell rang, East High Wildcats spilling out of all the classrooms and into the hallway, beginning to swarm around Troy as he continued to try to find his answers in her now expressionless gaze.

"We better go," she murmured, breaking their eye contact first and dropping her arms from around Troy's waist, forcing herself back from his hold, feeling the intense pain from where his hands just were. "Thank you Troy, for everything."

Troy let Gabriella go, still puzzled as to what exactly happened back in the classroom and now even more mystified by what Gabriella was just talking about. He quickly went back to the classroom and grabbed his stuff, relieved that the teacher wasn't in the room when he left so he didn't have to explain anything, and hurried down the hall to his next class.

It was at the start of lunch that Troy saw just who he was looking for and jogged down the corridor to approach Taylor, who was now at her locker. "Taylor, please, can I talk to you?"

Taylor looked up and was about to roll her eyes at him when she saw the sincerity and pain in his eyes. "What is it? Is Chad okay?"

Troy smiled a little, thinking it was cute how sensitive she was of her boyfriend. "Chad's fine, at least the last time I saw him in last period. I was hoping I could talk to you though, about Gabriella."

Taylor arched an eyebrow at this. "Gabriella? Now? Whatever for?"

"She freaked out in second period when a balloon popped and ran out of the room. I chased Gabriella down and she said some things to me, about being assaulted by memories of something she had recently experienced that were bad. What did she mean Taylor? What has happened to Gabriella?" questioned Troy, needing to know the answers.

"Did she really break down?" asked Taylor, concern now in her own voice, her complexion paling a little at the thought. "Oh God, she must be freaking out. I have to find her."

Before Taylor could take off to find her best friend after shutting her locker, Troy pleaded, "Please, Taylor, tell me what's going on. Is Tristan abusing her? Did she break up with me only to go to him to get abused?"

"It's not like that, she isn't being abused by him. It's something entirely different, trust me. And for the last time Troy, Gabriella didn't break up with you! I think you're confused because I'm pretty sure it was you who left her high and dry," returned Taylor, getting her answer out quickly so she could leave Troy and make sure Gabriella was all right.

"I didn't break up with her! I didn't leave her, I was the one that got left behind!" defended Troy, knowing that he wouldn't have voluntarily let Gabriella go after fighting for her for so long.

Taylor just returned his gaze and sadly shook her head. "You know, maybe I don't know what actually happened between you two but I do know that Gabriella is hurting, raw and genuine pain, as you yourself have now seen. I need to go find her, I need to know she's okay. I'd suggest you figure out what you really want out of all this Troy and quickly because with the way Gabriella is feeling these days, I don't know how much of her will still be there when you decide whatever it is."

With that, Troy watched Taylor quickly walk away in search for Gabriella, leaving Troy wondering what exactly Taylor meant. 'Great, the puzzles with girls. What secret message is behind McKessie's words this time and what could have happened to be so terrible that it would scar Gabriella like that?'

To say that Troy had a lousy practice was an understatement as he couldn't get his head into the game no matter how hard he tried. Thoughts of Gabriella plagued his mind through the rest of school and practice was no different. His father had even benched him halfway through the practice game because Troy was just going through the motions, not really playing the game Jack knew his son was capable of.

After Coach Bolton sent the rest of the players who were there at the optional practice to the locker room, Jack sat down next to his brooding son, wondering exactly where Troy's head was at. Minutes passed before Troy even looked over at his father, surprise in his eyes that Jack was sitting right there. "This is just further proof you weren't really out there on the court. What is going on with you lately son?"

Troy just let out a frustrated groan as he shook his head. "You wouldn't understand."

"Try me," encouraged Jack, wanting to help the best way he could. Lucille and Jack had watched as Troy's mood became increasingly worse with every day instead of better like they had originally hoped. The night Troy came back without a working cell phone, having only mere pieces of it, was the only time Troy told them an answer that was straight forward, that they could understand. Gabriella had broken up with Troy that night over the phone and consequently his phone as a means for it to happen was punished. "Is this about Gabriella?"

"Yes, no, I don't know," returned Troy, letting out another sigh as he thought back to the issues at hand. "Can I just go home?"

Jack let out sigh of his own as he nodded, knowing from the past few weeks that pushing Troy would do no good. "Go ahead and tell your mom that I'll be a few minutes late for dinner."

"Okay," answered Troy, getting up and walking towards the locker room to change into the clothes he wore to school before taking off for home.

By the time Jack made it home after his detour, Lucille and Troy both were seated at the table, Lucille having a pretty much one-sided conversation with their son, who barely gave one-word answers in return. When Troy's behavior began in this fashion Jack had tried to discipline it out of Troy, but that only served to make Troy withdraw even more from them. Instead, both parents decided to just let Troy be while they kept a close eye on him.

Throughout dinner, the conversation continued to be just between Jack and Lucille with the occasional contribution from their teenage son who seemed to be eating on autopilot mode. At the end when Troy tried to get up to start doing the dishes, Jack placed his hand on Troy's shoulder and gently forced him back down into his chair. "Before you get up from this table, we need to talk Troy."

Panic flooded Troy's blue orbs as he looked back at his father and then his mother. "What's wrong? Is everything okay with you? I don't think I can take another thing going wrong right now."

"Relax Troy, everything is fine as far as we go. We're just worried about you," returned Lucille, giving their son a comforting smile. "You haven't really been the same Troy we've watched you grow up into being. I know we've let you keep to yourself but in being responsible parents, we can't let this continue. Troy, please trust us and tell us what's going on."

"That's just the thing, I don't know. I used to think I did in the fact that Gabriella left me to go to L.A., to Tristan, but what Taylor said to me today, it makes me wonder if I dreamed up the breakup in my worst nightmare or if maybe I misheard her. Those words she said though definitely meant things were over though so I'm really confused," confessed Troy, running his right hand through his hair.

"So this has to do with concern for Gabriella and not knowing if you are together or not?" asked Jack, trying to understand the cause of Troy's recent behavior. "Have you tried talking to her since she came back last week?"

Troy shook his head. "I haven't and the first time I talked to her was today when she ran out of the room, startled by a balloon popping. Gabriella isn't my Brie right now. I don't know who she is but she just seems so fragile, so unlike the girl I am in love with."

"Is it possible that maybe something happened that you just don't know about? Is her mother all right?" probed Lucille, trying to remember if she had seen Mary around at all in the past week.

"Taylor would have told me if she wasn't when I asked her today I think. No, it has to be something else," replied Troy, still unable to determine what it was that was eating at Gabriella so much.

"Why don't you call her and ask if you can talk to her, away from school?" suggested Jack, knowing he was doing the set up for his and Lucille's attempt to try to cheer their son up, to break the down mood he had been in.

"No phone, remember? I actually distinctly remember you lecturing me on not taking my frustration out on inanimate objects and refusing to buy me a new one a few weeks ago," answered Troy, seeing a spark of mischief in his father's eyes. "What's going on?"

Lucille laughed as she saw Troy piecing together that something was up, recognizing the same look on his father's face that Troy had often. "Jack, you may as well give him the speech and then the gift."

Jack rolled his eyes. "I see how it is, I'm the speech giver now. Look son, we think you've gone long enough without a cell, especially in this day and age where you crazy kids are inseparable from your phones. I have been carrying around your data card with me and realized that today was the right time. In an effort to cheer your spirits up some, your mom and I decided to give you a new phone and that's where I went off to."

Troy watched as Jack pulled a cell phone out of his jacket pocket, an unfamiliar happy feeling blooming within him as Jack held the cell out to Troy for him to take. "Are you serious? A Samsung Juke?"

"Thought we'd treat you a little but in no way does this mean we will replace this phone again let alone with a better model if you destroy this one too, hear me?" returned Jack, giving Troy a stern look, inwardly relieved to see a smile, even if it was small, on Troy's face.

"Loud and clear," answered Troy, happy to be holding the red cell phone in his hands.

"Oh, and the woman who helped put the card in said for me to tell you to make sure you check your voicemails and texts. Since it is the same number, anything that went to your broken phone should be retrievable," added Jack, remembering that last piece.

"Awesome, thanks Dad, Mom!" exclaimed Troy, sliding the phone closed before getting up and doing the dishes in record time, anxious to use his new cell phone. Once the sink was drained, Troy ran up to his bedroom and closed the door, sitting on his bed as he familiarized himself with his phone before accessing his voicemail. There were a total of nine, the first one being from Chad asking if he wanted to play video games that weekend. 'I must have missed the call while I was up on Gabriella's balcony. Well it's a bit too late now.'

The second voicemail he heard though caught Troy's attention and made him pale as he listened to every word Gabriella was saying. "Hi Wildcat, it's me. I'm sorry…for everything. For fighting with you over something so stupid yesterday and then…disappearing on you today… I hope you understand I had to come out here. I had hoped…Tristan…really wasn't…dead…but he…is and I…God I just need to hear your voice right now. Please call me, I love you."

He had strained at certain points of the message to make sure he was hearing her correctly and played it three more times, a sense of dread filling him as he heard her pain-filled voice speaking the words that explained it all, making Troy feel like a complete jackass for not having enough faith in her to know that Gabriella would never break up with him over the phone. Instead of breaking up with him, Gabriella had been trying to tell him about Tristan somehow being dead, guilt sinking in even further as he heard the desperation in her voice, the plea to be called back, her need for him.

Troy moved on to the next message and the three after that, feeling his heart speed up again as he heard her voice yet again and again. "Troy, please, please call me back. Maybe you are playing basketball with the guys or something, that's why your phone is off again, but I really need you, just even to hear your voice for five seconds. Please call me back."

'I abandoned Brie when she needed me the most. No wonder she's looked and acted the way she has. Well that stops now, I need to see her, go to her,' he thought, sliding his phone shut again before grabbing his car keys off his desk and running down the stairs.

"Troy, where are you going?" called out Lucille, alarmed by the sheer speed Troy was running towards the front door.

"Gabriella's! I had it all wrong and she needs me Mom!" shouted Troy, not slowing until he reached his truck, jumped in, and started driving to the Montez house.

As soon as Gabriella heard her mother start the shower in the master bedroom, Gabriella rushed down the hall into her own bedroom, searching for the relief she desperately needed. In all honesty, Gabriella had slowly started feeling the numbness seep into her system again but the pain was still so unbearable and it seemed that Gabriella had a limit to her tears, the only other release she had from the grief and guilt she still felt, fresh from her week and a half in Los Angeles. Gabriella walked into her closet, opened the second drawer of her drawer set, and reached in to grab the familiar object wrapped in a white towel spotted in red, buried under short sleeved t-shirts Gabriella doubted she'd ever wear again.

With her salvation in her right hand, clutched tightly as if she'd lose her life if she lost it, Gabriella exited the closet and sat down on the white comforter on her bed, looking at the empty spot on her nightstand where there used to be a picture of her and Tristan. Taylor and Gabriella's mother had done a thorough job of removing everything that would remind Gabriella of him, of what had happened, with the promise that when she felt better, they would tell her where they put them. What they didn't know was that Gabriella still had a picture from where she had hidden it under her pillow. This was what Gabriella drew out of its hiding place with her left hand as she gingerly unwrapped her salvation from its confinement, allowing the silver metal to gleam in the moonlight coming through Gabriella's balcony windows.

Realizing that the door was still open, Gabriella left the swivel knife she had used so many times in the last two to three years for her scrapbooking on her bed, walking to the bedroom door and closing it, knowing that she would have some time before it was opened again. Mary had made it a habit to check on Gabriella whenever her door was closed but seemed to give Gabriella some time by herself before doing so in a way of respecting Gabriella's healing process. 'Little does she know what I'm doing and she'll never find out if I have anything to do with it,' thought Gabriella, grabbing the knife and the picture and sitting on the other side of her bed, closer to the windows so she could see what she was doing via the moonlight, saving her from having to turn on a light that would cast too much attention on anything else she didn't want to focus on.

Gabriella grabbed the remote to her stereo and pressed play to start the CD that was currently loaded, the haunting melodies playing loudly but not too much throughout the room. Taking in a deep breath, Gabriella unzipped her hoodie, slowly peeling off the jacket, her eyes seeing the red lines on her upper arms that were still fresh from the night before. Seeing them reminded her of what she had almost forgotten so Gabriella threw on the jacket again and left her bedroom, going to the hallway bathroom and grabbing the roll of toilet paper she used from under the sink and snuck back into her bedroom, grateful to hear that her mother was still in the shower. Gabriella sank back down onto the bed, drawing her legs up onto the bed and folding them in front of her body, placing the toilet paper roll next to her, next to the instrument she found that took away the heartache, the misery, the grief Gabriella struggled to get away from. Slowly, Gabriella took off her jacket again, listening to the music while keeping her eyes trained on the photograph laying in front of her, of a happier time, when Tristan was still full of life instead of laying cold in a dark coffin, never to be seen again.

As she felt her heart constrict for the millionth time in the past couple of weeks, Gabriella picked up the swivel knife, eyeing the blade she had managed to keep clean by constantly wiping it after it saved her, after she drew enough pain away for it to be bearable while also making her feel alive again. Slowly, Gabriella eyed the left lower part of her arm, right below the inside of her elbow, knowing that would be the next place to cut. In the past week or so, Gabriella had cut herself on her hip, her inner thighs, her upper arms, and now she would do it in a place she knew would still be invisible under her long sleeve shirts, grateful that it was cold enough outside to get away with it without being questioned. The cuts had started out shallow in the beginning but with time, Gabriella found that she needed to go deeper each time to reach the same level of comfort the day before had given her. While Gabriella kept her eyes focused on Tristan's grinning face, seeing the twinkle in his green eyes that she missed so dearly, Gabriella brought the swivel knife down with just enough pressure to slice open her smooth skin, cutting deeper than the night before but not too much, letting out the ache in her heart to a small degree that grew as she dragged the blade across her arm, closing her eyes and focusing on the sensation of the physical pain, how her skin separated at the cut, and the warm trickle of her blood oozing out.

When Gabriella opened her eyes finally, knowing she needed to cut some more to rid herself of the remaining grip grief had on her heart, she stared at the two inch cut that still bled. Gabriella tore off some toilet paper and pressed down on the wound, closing her eyes against the physical pain again, relieved that it drew even more away from her shattered heart. After a few moments, Gabriella pulled back the toilet paper and threw it on the floor, mindful not to let the blood soaked sides touch anything lest she taint it with her blood, with her pain. Gabriella gazed down at her arm bathed in the moonlight and eyed the next place, just a little further down from the cut she had just made. This time, as Gabriella began to drag the swivel knife further across her skin, cutting deeper than even the cut just before, a loud noise startled her, cutting into the trance she was in, forcing her to look up just as she heard glass breaking, seeing a shocked and terrified Troy standing now in the open doorway to her bedroom from the balcony.

Her controlled grip wavered in her own surprise to see him, shame filling her body that Troy had to see her this way, wincing as she felt the blade dig deeper and longer into her skin than she had ever cut before as she whipped her upper body slightly towards the noise, tearing her eyes away from him to look down at her arm that was now oozing blood from the open cut. Watching the dark liquid quickly flow from the longest and deepest cut she had ever inflicted on herself, Gabriella distantly wondered if she had managed to cut a major vein or damage a muscle, her book knowledge from school kicking in until she remembered what had distracted her in the first place, Troy. Gabriella's eyes flashed up to his, tears covering her gaze and she saw his mouth move but didn't hear his words as he came running to her, tearing off his shirt and dropping down to his knees next to her bed. She watched as Troy quickly wrapped his t-shirt around the cut, vaguely hearing his voice somewhere distantly while she let the warm tears drop from her eyes, down her cheeks, and eventually roll off her face.

A realization hit Gabriella as she watched the blood, her blood, soak through the several layers of cotton, watching as the crimson color traveled more, soaking a good amount of the surface of the pseudo bandage. Gabriella didn't feel the emotional pain anymore, she didn't feel the agony that had haunted her, kept her within its grip so well in the past two weeks. She didn't feel guilt gnawing on her mind, nor did she even really feel the physical pain of a cut she didn't mean to make so deep. At last, finally, Gabriella was blissfully numb, void of it all. That was the last thought Gabriella had before darkness came and reclaimed her, leaving her body limp in the strong arms now carrying her, rushing her out of her house, right on the heels of her mother, not even aware that concerned, loving blue eyes stared down at her the entire time the car traveled with lightning speed to the hospital.

Next Chapter
Back to the Dream Page