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Gabriella slammed her Anatomy book closed, letting out a frustrated groan as she laid her head on top of her now folded arms on the kitchen table in her home. Taylor's head snapped up at the noise and looked over with concern on her face as she heard her best friend's quiet groan. She bit the end of the highlighter that was currently in her mouth a little tighter with worry as Gabriella remained positioned like that for a few minutes before eventually lifting her head again. Eventually the two gazes met, Gabriella giving Taylor an apologetic look for her behavior.
"Before you say it, don't even start to Gabriella. I understand and I'm here for you but I have to ask. Are you that stuck on Anatomy or that frustrated about what happened at school today?" asked Taylor, knowing it was definitely the latter but wanting to give Gabriella the room to talk about it on her own.
"What happened at school, definitely. Tay, I just don't know why I was such a dramatic bitch to him. I can't figure out why I freaked out so badly at just seeing him talking to Sharpay. My heart knows that he loves me and me him," confessed Gabriella, dazing out a bit as she recalled what happened earlier that day in the halls of East High just after the final bell rang.
Gabriella and Taylor were casually walking down the hallway together and up the flight of stairs towards their lockers with Kelsi and Martha by their sides when Gabriella stopped dead in her tracks, hearing two voices mingle together that she never wanted to hear this soon, not when everything was so new and so good. Kelsi and Martha both gave her questioning looks but Taylor immediately narrowed her dark eyes as she spied what had caused her best friend to grow pale. Standing fifteen feet away were Troy and Sharpay, Troy with his back against the set of lockers next to his while Sharpay stood next to him, dressed, of course, in a pink miniskirt and white top that showed excess amounts of her tanning bed tanned skin. There was a lot of noise in the hallway but Taylor and Gabriella had no problems hearing the pair among all of it, especially as they slowly got nearer.
"So Troy, I really do hope you accept my apology. I was pretty cold with you after our breakup and I realized the other day how much you mean to me, how much I don't want to lose you from my life," said Sharpay, sweetly looking up at him with her innocent looking eyes.
There was a pause before Troy nodded his head. "I think we can be friends again Sharpay, if that's what you want. I do somehow find myself missing your sparkly pinkness."
Sharpay beamed back at him. "I knew you had taste! Pink is so my color while coral blue is yours, you know? Do you still have the wardrobe I bought you this summer? You should wear those polo shirts more often. They suit you, bring out your eyes more," she replied, reaching up her hand to touch the side of his face but hesitantly brought it back down. "Sorry, no touching right? That's what friends do, hang out but don't touch?"
Gabriella watched, shocked, as Troy reached out to Sharpay and instantly embraced the blonde, all happening in slow motion in front of Gabriella. That shock and pain deepened as she watched Sharpay wrap her pale thin arms around Troy's neck, smiling as she hugged him closer, finally opening her eyes to stare directly at Gabriella as a smirk appeared on Sharpay's pink lip glossed lips.
"Why that bitch," started Taylor, only to be cut off by Gabriella, who shook her head.
"That's too nice of a word to describe her and him. Doesn't Troy know she's just playing him? Trying to get back with him? Why is he leading her on? Does he still care for her, even if he loves me?" voiced Gabriella, feeling a mix of confusion, hurt, sadness, and anger course through her body, even as she saw Troy and Sharpay separate with Sharpay leaning up and kissing Troy on the cheek. Her brown eyes narrowed on the faint blush that appeared on Troy's cheek, right under the lip marks that was just left there by the blonde.
Feeling her stomach and throat tighten while her brown eyes began to burn, Gabriella began to move again with the crowd, unaware that Taylor, Kelsi, and Martha were all following right behind her, deaf to Martha and Kelsi both calling out to see if she was okay and for her to slow down. In fact, Gabriella did quite the opposite, speeding up as she neared the two still standing at the lockers, watching them laugh at something together before Gabriella forced her gaze away, unable to put herself through that torture any further. Gabriella's speed didn't slow down until she was at her locker, leaving her friends behind, clutching her chest a little from the stinging pain coming from what seemed her heart.
Instead of opening her locker, Gabriella dropped her bag, leaning her forehead against the cool metal, dragging air through her lungs out of need and not want. Closing her eyes though proved to be a mistake as all she saw in the darkness was the image of Troy and Sharpay laughing and hugging, acting like they did when they were still seeing each other. Sharpay's conniving look didn't even register again in Gabriella's mind as it was too busy looping the same clip from the memory over and over again. Before she knew it, hot, salty water began to run down her cheeks as she barely heard them splash on the linoleum of the floor, hearing and seeing nothing besides Troy and Sharpay as they were minutes ago.
'Why?' she wondered, aching in her confusion. 'Why would he want to be friends with her again? Why does he want to open the door to temptation again? Am I not enough? Our new love not enough? How could he so openly flirt with her before my eyes, before the eyes of every student and staff at East High?'
After a few moments of self pity, Gabriella tried to gather her strength, telling herself that it was better that she saw it, that she was armed with the knowledge of how Troy really felt, what was really going on. She shakily raised her hands to wipe away the tears that still clung to the tan skin of her face, taking in a few breaths to steady her breathing again, realizing now that she had worked herself up way too much for what happened down the halls. When she felt ready, Gabriella lifted her heavy head, ignoring the pain in her chest to concentrate on the combination lock before opening the metal door. Gabriella struggled to focus on figuring out what books she needed for her homework due over the next few days, successfully pulling them all out and putting them in her bag only minutes later.
Just before she closed the door though, Gabriella froze as she spotted a picture of her and Tristan that she had put up on the back wall of her locker, covered by all of her books until now. She gingerly reached in and pulled it off the wall, staring down at it as she felt a different kind of pain in her chest begin to grow and rival the other heartache. Gabriella stared at the blissful expressions on both hers and Tristan's faces, arms wrapped around each other as they smiled at Sandy, who had the camera while they were laying on their favorite beach in California. Tears began to blur her vision once again as she continued to study the picture, their happy demeanors seeming to be an echo of the past, of how love was supposed to feel.
Gabriella was so caught up in that picture, the memory and especially the feelings that it brought back that she hadn't noticed Troy sneaking up on her until he wrapped his arms around her from behind, causing an involuntary stiffening of her spine as she smelled his familiar scent surround her.
"Hey baby," he greeted, his voice husky before he kissed the skin of her shoulder visible next to the purple baby-t's collar. Troy instantly felt the change in Gabriella's body, reacting in a way he hadn't expected at his touch. "Gabriella, what's wrong?"
He peered over her shoulder to see what she had been looking at and spotted the picture of his girlfriend in the arms of her ex. Before he could help himself as the color red began to fill his vision, Troy reached up and snatched the picture from Gabriella's hands, unadulterated jealousy flooding his system, a feeling he hadn't experienced for a number of weeks. "Troy, give it back," he heard her plead.
"What the hell is going on Gabriella?" burst out Troy. "You never react that way to me and then to find you with this, this, picture! I thought you wanted us to work out, that you chose me, not him. What the fuck are you doing longing for your past with him if you are so committed to me?"
"Oh, that's just beautiful! I could ask you the same thing with the way you were flirting and being all chummy with a certain Drama Club president who left some nice lip gloss on your cheek!" retorted Gabriella, snatching back the picture from his grasp and sticking it in her bag before zipping it up. Gabriella quickly slammed her locker door and spun around to face Troy, glad that anger replaced the dual heartaches she was feeling moments before.
Troy stood there as his skin paled at the realization of what Gabriella was referring to, moving only to guiltily wipe away the lip gloss that lingered. "Brie, that's not what it was," he started, only to be silenced with the darkening brown eyes staring back at him.
"You know what? I honestly thought that I had maturely resolved whatever it was back there in my head, chalking it up to be innocence despite the pain but you and your behavior just now Troy makes me wonder. If that was so innocent of an act, why would you jump to such conclusions about me wanting Tristan? Am I with him now? No! So why Troy? Why unless you have something you feel guilty about," accused Gabriella, her eyes finally reaching the darkest shade of brown Troy had ever seen.
"Brie, baby," he began again, only to be silence but a firm shake of her head.
"Don't call me that, baby or Brie! I just, I need space Troy. Maybe so do you. I know we said we loved each other for the first time last week but for this to happen, this lack of trust, this, whatever it is, that says so much more than anything to me, that this isn't for us maybe," stated Gabriella, picking up her bag and throwing it over her shoulder.
Troy found it harder to breathe as he just watched Gabriella's petite form begin to walk away and realized he couldn't let her go, afraid of what would happen if she left this hallway, left the campus, left him. Before his mind could register what the rest of his body was doing, Troy sprinted down the hallway filled with their peers who had stopped to watch the blowout between East High's "It" couple. "Gabriella, wait!"
Before Gabriella could take her first step down the stairwell, she felt a bruising grip on her upper arm, pulling her back against his body, feeling the heave of his chest as Troy struggled to gain his breath again. "Let me go Troy," she murmured, surprising Troy with the quietness of her voice just then after the yelling she did just moments before. "Please."
"No, not until we talk this out. Gabriella, we both overreacted back there, okay? I know you and Tristan are over just as you know me and Shar are," stated Troy, wrapping his arms more firmly around her waist as he sensed her starting to struggle at being this near to him. "Please, think about this Gabriella. Why would I fuck up something so great as what we have so easily, so quickly, over what I consider to be a summer fling? I was just being nice, being friendly, like how I see you act with so many other students here because that's just the way you are."
Gabriella hiccupped softly as her mind began to process his words, forming a strong argument against her heart that just wanted her to run before she could be hurt again, trying to save herself from the biggest heartache she had ever felt, from being cheated on, a feeling that gripped her mind and heart both by just seeing Troy and Sharpay being friendly again. "You're just going to cheat on me like he did," she said softly, all steel in her voice evaporated.
Troy's eyes widened at her statement and he immediately whipped Gabriella around to see the tears in her eyes that were freely spilling over and down her cheeks now. "Is that what this is about? You think I'm going to cheat on you? With Sharpay? I thought we discussed this way before we became exclusive, that you got over it."
"I thought I did too, but seeing you after all this time suddenly pick back up with her, my gut just doesn't feel right about it. I've been cheated on before and I am not going to stick around to have it happen to me again," replied Gabriella, using his shock to rip herself away from him. She used all the strength she had left in her body to run, to run down the stairs and out to the parking lot, running from Troy, running from Tristan, and running from the heartache.
Gabriella's cell phone began buzzing on the middle of the table again, Taylor rolling her eyes as she saw Troy's picture appear on the front screen. "That boy is relentless. That has to be at least the eighteenth time he's called in the past half an hour," stated Taylor, her annoyance being pushed aside as she saw Gabriella staring at the cell phone, nibbling on the corner of her lip. "Gab?"
Once the phone stopped vibrating, Gabriella raised her eyes to meet Taylor's gaze, unsure of what she could really say to properly capture what she really felt. "I miss him Taylor," Gabriella said softly, her words steady.
"Troy? Then why aren't you answering his calls?" questioned Taylor, confused by her best friend's words.
Gabriella let out a sigh. "I meant Tristan. I miss Tristan Taylor, totally and completely. I, well I feel wretched right now because of how I let him go like that and yet whenever I feel like this, this tsunami of a wave comes crashing down on me, reminding me that Tristan really did cheat on me and wasn't ashamed at the time about it. Then I realize that Tristan changed after our breakup, trying so hard to prove to me that he wouldn't ever do that to me again if I gave him a chance. I think some part of me is pining for my innocent first love I experienced with him but I also know that I still care about Tristan's well being. And then like a sledgehammer I am reminded of Troy, the way he makes me feel, the way being with him just makes me feel safe, cared for, and loved. Maybe I really did rush things with Troy, as much as I didn't want to admit it."
"Did you listen to what you just told me Gabriella? You may miss Tristan, you may still care for him, but your heart knows where it belongs, where you belong. Yes, you have scars from your past relationship with Tristan, you've learned your lessons, but your heart is much stronger than I think you give it credit for. I don't think you would have taken this chance with Troy, telling him that you love him, if you didn't really mean it, if you weren't ready," stated Taylor, reaching over and covering Gabriella's hand with her own, squeezing it in a comforting gesture. "It's not like you said those words to him lightly or out of obligation to say it back. You told me yourself Tristan told you that he loved you but you didn't have the heart to return it. With Troy, the words came out of your mouth so easily, at least the way you tell it."
"And they did," agreed Gabriella, sighing a little. "I just, I feel like I owe Tristan so much more than to just let him walk out of my life completely like that. I wish I had the courage to call him instead of just hearing about him through Sandra but I just, I don't want to push myself on him, especially if he isn't ready yet to talk to me again. I don't want to hurt him anymore Tay."
Taylor gave her best friend a small smile. "And that is what makes you as wonderful as you are Gabriella. If you really want to talk to Tristan, you should call him. I think you've given it enough time. As for Troy and the debacle that happened at school, well, I think that will sort itself out too. In the midst of it all, you already started realizing that you were overreacting before the fear of being cheated on again crept up. That must tell you something."
Staring at the now motionless phone, Gabriella knew that Taylor was right. 'My gut may be uneasy about Sharpay being that close to Troy again but it also feels like it trusts Troy at the same time, that my love isn't misplaced,' she thought, absently flipping her pen between her fingers of her left hand. "I need to apologize to him Taylor and to make things right. I know that I was being unreasonable before but that feeling of betrayal was so raw, like it was taken right out of last year with Tristan but was ten times worse."
"There too lies another telltale sign of what is going on with you and your emotions Gabriella. Listen, why don't I scoot off and head home so you can have some private alone time? I know your mom is upstairs and all but you'll at least be able to have that phone call with Troy without me around," offered Taylor, patting Gabriella's hand before pulling her own away again.
"I wouldn't mind you being around Taylor," replied Gabriella, smiling a little back at her best friend.
"Maybe so but I think you could use the private time," stated Taylor, closing her own Anatomy book and packing up her bag. "You can call me though after all is said and done."
Gabriella laughed a little, realizing that Taylor really did care but also had a bit of curiosity about what would happen. "All right, I'll be sure to do that then."
The two girls walked together to the front door where they shared a hug before Taylor left the Montez household and left Gabriella to her thoughts again. She closed and locked the door before walking back to the kitchen, staring at the cell phone that in some ways mocked her as Gabriella tried to decide what to do. 'Just get over your fear and call him Gabriella,' she chided herself as she reached across the table and picked up her cell phone, opening her contacts list and highlighting Troy's name. Her finger hovered over the bright green send button when the doorbell rang.
Curious as to who was there at dinner time, Gabriella abandoned both the phone and the idea to call Troy before walking to the front door and opening it only to be greeted with a delivery man from a florist judging by the flowers in his arm. "Gabriella Montez?" he asked, looking at Gabriella after he read off her name from his electronic tablet.
"That's me," she replied. "Are those for me?"
She stared at the white roses with a single red rose in the middle of the arrangement, estimating that there were two dozen in that open box. "If you are Gabriella Montez, I'd say they were," replied the guy, looking a bit annoyed to still be standing there.
"Oh, I'm sorry. You need me to sign something?" asked Gabriella, taking the rectangular box from the man.
The man nodded and presented her with a stylus so she could sign for it before he took off without another word. 'Most likely rushing off so he could get to his own home,' thought Gabriella as she walked back into the house and closed the door. Walking back into the kitchen, curiosity began to eat at her, wondering who could have sent them to her. 'Maybe is it Troy, to say he was sorry?'
Not knowing who else to think they were from, Gabriella set the box down and searched for a card, only to find an unsigned note that read, "Roses for a beautiful young woman whose beauty will never die, the colors representing her pureness of heart and mind as well as the passion in her soul. I love you."
Gabriella's eyes scanned the card several times, now more uncertain as to who could have sent them. "Those words don't sound like words from Troy," said Gabriella to herself, pondering the mystery further as she found a vase to put them all in from under the sink.
Before she could fill the vase with water though, Gabriella's cell phone began to vibrate, earning back her attention. Gabriella left the vase and roses on the counter to grab it, feeling air leave her body as she saw Tristan's picture, his green eyes staring back at her. With trembling hands, Gabriella flipped open the phone and pressed the green button. "Hi Tristan," she greeted, hoping her nerves didn't show through her voice, knowing somewhere in the back of her mind that it probably did.
"Hey Ella. Am I bothering you?" asked Tristan, his voice alone making Gabriella smile as she heard the traces of tenderness in it as he said his nickname for her.
"No, not at all. How are you doing?" replied Gabriella quickly, needing for some reason to hear that he was doing well just then.
There was a pause before Tristan spoke again. "I miss you Gabriella, I miss you a lot. I know that I left you, that I was the one that let you free but I can't deal with it as well as I had hoped. Did you get my roses?"
Gabriella's brown orbs flashed over to the roses still in the box, the note sitting on top of them. "I actually just got them. Thank you Tristan, they are gorgeous. The note itself was sweet enough."
She heard him chuckle but felt saddened that there wasn't the usual merriment behind it. "They were words that spoke only the truth Gabriella. You are beautiful, you are pure of heart and mind, and you have such a passion for life. You're like this flame that dances so brilliantly, shining with the life in you," he said, letting out a deep sigh after that. "You know you really are the love of my life Ella. Not just my first real love but the one for me. However, I know that you deserve so much better."
Unable to stand still as she listened any further, Gabriella went to the counter and grabbed the vase, filling it with water from the sink, hoping the task at hand would keep the anxiety that was developing at bay. "Tristan, you are my first love too but I know you will find someone better for you, someone more deserving than I am to give that gift of your heart to," she replied, pulling the vase out of the sink and shutting off the water as the vase became half full. Gabriella set the glass vase on the counter next to the box of roses, thinking of what else to say to ease the awkwardness that now tainted the air between them. "Tristan, no matter what, I'll always love you. Nothing can take that away."
"I'm glad you said that Ella," responded Tristan, his voice now containing a certain edge to it that made Gabriella feel even more uneasy. "I'm glad you have moved on and are in a new relationship with Troy. You deserve the happiness I couldn't give you. I just hope he's more worthy to give you what you need than I am."
Gabriella paused putting the roses into the vase as his last sentences caught her attention. "Tristan, what are you talking about? How do you know about me and Troy?"
"You'll find out when the time is right but just know that I love you Gabriella, always have and always will, no matter where I am, despite the fact that I never deserved to be given a chance with you. It showed too in how royally I fucked everything up with you," stated Tristan, his voice now laced with frustration and sadness. "No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't make things right for you, not after I did what I did to you. It was a shitty thing to do and I don't even know why I did it now in hindsight. You were the best thing to happen to me Gabriella, you are the only light in my life."
"Tristan, what are you saying? You've got your football prospects, your friends, your family, and college to look forward, among all the other future prospects you have. Tristan, you have so much going for you, much more than I think you are remembering or giving yourself credit for," said Gabriella, feeling her gut twist into knots as every emotion hidden between Tristan's words began filtering into her mind, into her heart. Needing something to do again to help with her anxiety, Gabriella filled the vase with the rest of the roses, cutting her finger in the process on a thorn. "Oww!"
Panic in his voice, Tristan asked, "Gabriella, what happened? Are you all right?"
After sucking on her finger a little, tasting the copper taste in her mouth, Gabriella took it out and wrapped it in a napkin, putting pressure on it, glad that the blood wasn't seeping through yet, which would have indicated a deeper cut. "I just cut my finger on a thorn, no big deal Tristan."
"God, I even managed to fuck that up," murmured Tristan, his voice betraying his frustration with himself. "I'm so sorry Gabriella. I should have known better and requested that they remove the thorns from them or something."
"Tristan, it's fine. I'm just clumsy is all," soothed Gabriella, not wanting Tristan to worry about such a small injury. "I really do love the roses, thank you."
"I'm glad but what a way for me to fuck up my second to last gift to you. That just shows right there that I don't deserve you, I don't deserve any type of happiness. I'm a jerk and a fuck up, just like you think I am. I'm a coward and I'm weak otherwise I would have fought harder for you and I agree with your thoughts," confessed Tristan, his voice now sounding raw with emotion. "God, I shouldn't have sent them to you, they hurt you, just like I continue to hurt you. Why did you let me treat you so badly Gabriella? Why did I have to be so stupid to lose you?"
Confusion reigned in Gabriella's mind as she tried to process what Tristan was saying, what he was alluding to. "Tristan, I never said those things to you and certainly never about you. I've never thought you were a fuck up or a weak coward. Maybe a jerk when you cheated on me but not all those other things. What has given you that idea? What's really going on with you Tristan?"
When only silence greeted her questions, Gabriella began to feel the start of panic tingling through her system. "Tristan? Are you still there?" she asked, pulling away the phone from her ear to make sure there was still a connection before putting it back. "Please Tristan, answer me."
"You don't have to lie to me, I know I'm worthless and I know I don't deserve you otherwise why would I have lost you in the end?" answered Tristan finally, his voice now soft, his words broken up with what sounded like quiet sobs.
"But you aren't Tristan, you really aren't! If you think so highly of me, how could you think that I would go out and love a guy like that? You must know that even though we aren't seeing each other that you still mean something to me, that I care for you still," pleaded Gabriella, her eyes on the roses but not really seeing them now. "Please don't beat yourself over what has happened with us, the problems we have gone through. They say time heals all wounds."
"Well it won't this time, that much I know," replied Tristan, sighing at the end of his words. "I have to go Gabriella, I have something to take care of but know that despite what the future may bring, I will always love you, my heart is yours and only yours, and that I wish you nothing the best."
"Tristan, wait!" exclaimed Gabriella before she heard nothing but silence again, pulling her cell phone away to see that this time, the line was disconnected. Immediately, Gabriella tried calling Tristan back but only got his voicemail after numerous rings. Despite this, Gabriella kept trying, feeling the need to hear his live voice, knowing somewhere in her mind that something was wrong, feeling in her gut that something huge was happening right now.
In the process of trying to call Tristan again, Gabriella vaguely recalled ignoring Troy's incoming call, caring only to find out if Tristan was okay, that he was just being dramatic but was fine. She was in the process of carrying the roses in the glass vase over to the dining room table when his phone picked up. "Tristan? Tristan please, tell me you are okay!"
Silence greeted her but she heard some heart wrenching sobs among the shuffling of the phone. Tears filled her eyes as she heard Tristan's pain, a much deeper heartache driving his sobs than what she herself went through just earlier in the day. 'What have I done to him?' she couldn't help but wonder, listening to him while there was still shuffling of the phone, like something was dragging over the microphone. "Tristan!" she screamed, not getting any answer.
Just before Gabriella could continue her walk to the dining room table to set down the vase, Gabriella heard a metallic click before a loud bang from the other end of the phone. There was a series of loud noises after that but moments after everything happened, Gabriella could only remember herself screaming as she identified the sounds as being like the sound of guns cocking and then firing that she had seen and heard on the television and in movies. "Tristan! Please, please tell me you are okay! Tristan!"
"TRISTAN!" she screamed, losing grip of everything other than what she had just heard on the phone, gripping the cell phone in her left hand for dear life, hoping he would come back on and tell her that he was okay. She heard some muffled grunting and rough breathing before silence greeted her once again. "NO! TRISTAN!"
The vase in Gabriella's hand slipped from her grasp as her own hold on reality left her, watching with absent eyes drowned in tears as the vase shattered on the floor, water, glass, and the roses scattering in a small area right below her, the red rose standing out especially among the white petals. Tears streamed down her cheeks, Gabriella's chest getting tighter by the moment, as her body collapsed, trying to fully absorb what just happened. Gabriella was still straining to hear anything from the other line that she knew was still connected to Tristan as she sat there in the puddle of water and glass on the floor, her knees drawn up to her chest, unfeeling of the cuts she had from some glass pieces.
"Gabriella, sweetie, is everything…" started Mary only to abruptly stop as she saw the mess on the floor but most importantly her hysterical daughter. "GABRIELLA!"
Seeing that her daughter was unresponsive to her voice, Mary rushed over and dropped to the ground, her brown eyes doing a quick inventory of her daughter's body, relieved when she saw Gabriella was bleeding but only from what looked like superficial cuts. "Sweetie, what's wrong, talk to me," she pleaded with Gabriella, who finally lifted her head from her knees, revealing her grief stricken face, the cell phone still pressed to hear ear. "What is it?"
"Mom…Tristan…think…dead," Gabriella managed to mutter through her deep sobs that continued to only get worse, finding no comfort in her mother's embrace or the loving soothing words that were being whispered to her just then. Saying the words aloud only served to make the situation worse for Gabriella, making it too real.
Gabriella's gaze settled on the pool of water around her once she managed to calm down for a moment, seeing the red of her own small amounts of blood taint the once clear water, turning it into a pink liquid. Within a blink of an eye, Gabriella felt herself being sucked back into the waiting arms of grief as they closed tightly around Gabriella, threatening to never let her go again.