Back to the Dream Page
"Taylor! Wait up," called out Troy at the start of lunch as soon as he spied Taylor down the hall from where he was waiting at Gabriella's locker to see if she turned up. He jogged over to Taylor, who looked at him curiously. "Is Gabriella at school today?"
Taylor understood in a moment why Troy was so frantic. "No, I haven't seen her all day. I thought maybe at first she was late but I haven't seen her up to now, sorry."
"She, well Brie wouldn't be skipping school to avoid me would she?" asked Troy, his insecurity showing like a neon sign to the dark skinned girl who, given what she knew from last night from her study session with Gabriella, felt some growing pity for him.
Taylor shook her head. "No, she wouldn't. She loves school too much. Gabriella didn't call you last night?"
It was now Troy's turn to look surprised. "Was she supposed to?"
"Umm, no, never mind," replied Taylor quickly, internally mystified as to why Gabriella hadn't called the brown haired boy after she seemed so set on it before Taylor left the Montez home.
"Please Taylor, level with me. Is everything okay with Brie?" pleaded Troy, his light blue eyes filled with desperation begging for whatever information Taylor had.
She let out a sigh, shrugging her shoulders that now seemed a bit tense, herself now wondering what had become of Gabriella today, more than before. "I honestly don't know Troy. She was fine last night but I don't know what could have happened since then."
"Promise you'll tell me if you hear from her? I, for some reason I'm really worried about her," admitted Troy, not minding showing Taylor his true concern.
"I will and you do the same, k?" returned Taylor, smiling a little as she watched Troy nod his agreement.
With that, Troy and Taylor continued on their ways, both perplexed as to where Gabriella was and better yet, if she was okay.
The bell ringing throughout the halls of East High couldn't have come sooner for Troy as he had been anxiously waiting all day to be released so he could go over to the Montez household after getting no response from Gabriella after the many texts he fired throughout the day. As soon as the truck was parked, Troy jumped out and ran across the grass to the front door, banging on the door several times via the door knocker, growing more agitated as the feeling of something being wrong grew more and more in his gut. After trying to peer into the house several times through the glass windows on both sides of the front door and seeing no movement, Troy dashed around the side of the house and climbed up to Gabriella's balcony. He stumbled a little but righted himself before Troy approached the glass doors and windows, squinting his eyes to try to see any movement at all from inside his girlfriend's bedroom through her white floral drapes.
Troy's eyes swept the room, the blue orbs becoming darker with worry as he saw no indication of life in the room, although he spotted her unmade bed, which was highly unusual, seeming to be the one indication in the room that Troy had every reason to worry about his girlfriend and her whereabouts. 'She's usually so neat and tidy. Gabriella would never leave her bed like that, in that disarray.'
Seeing that there was nothing else for him to do there, feeling like a stalker and peering into Gabriella's empty bedroom, Troy turned around with slumped shoulders, defeat radiating from him, mingling with the worry and uneasiness he also felt. He nearly jumped out of his skin when his cell phone rang, almost making Troy tumble from the balcony to the ground as Troy was about to climb back down. Instead, Troy placed both feet back firmly on the balcony and answered the phone quickly, knowing from the ringtone who it was. "Brie? Baby, where are you? What's going on?"
"Troy, I'm so sorry. I got all your texts but I just, I don't know how to say this," replied Gabriella, her voice wavering, filled with emotion.
That uneasy feeling in Troy's stomach intensified as he held the phone more firmly to his ear, waiting for her to continue. When there was silence, Troy asked, "Where are you Gabriella? You weren't at school and Taylor didn't know where you were. This isn't like you."
"I'm just, I'm so sorry Troy," returned Gabriella, letting a few sobs escape her throat, clearly heard by Troy. "I'm in Los Angeles."
Troy's heart nearly stopped at those last two words, knowing instantly that there would be only one reason for Gabriella to be in Los Angeles, well maybe two. It had to do with either Tristan or Sandra. "What are you doing in Los Angeles?" he asked, pushing aside the fear of what her answer would be, knowing he needed to know or drive himself crazy.
Static was his only answer though, speeding up Troy's heart as he looked at the phone and made sure that the connection still held. "Brie? Are you there?" questioned Troy, trying to reach out to his girlfriend through the phone that was a little less static filled now, a few moments later.
"Tristan…had to come…I'm sorry Troy…it's over…" That was all Troy's ear heard, all his mind registered, before the line officially went dead. He knew instantly that he had missed a lot of what Gabriella was saying because of the poor connection but found no comfort in that knowledge as his brain continued to piece together her words, trying to make sense out of it. As his mind examined the meaning behind the last part of their conversation, Troy tried redialing Gabriella's cell only to get her voicemail right away. After the tenth time, Troy gave up, realizing that she had either purposely turned off her cell phone or was in a bad area for reception.
"What did she mean that she had to go to Tristan? Why did she keep saying sorry?" he wondered out loud, closing his eyes as he fought to see the truth of the situation. Like a flash of lightning that struck him, specifically his heart, the last two words began to echo in his mind, and those two words only. "It's over…"
The white hot pain from his heart began to spread through his body, making his legs fold from under him as Troy absorbed the implications more clearly now, understanding that Gabriella wasn't in Albuquerque, that she had left New Mexico to go to California for her first love, for the guy that still clearly held her attention and quite possibly her heart. Troy thought back to the day before when he caught Gabriella looking longingly at the picture of her and Tristan and the times before when he had seen them together, the pain intensifying as he hit the wooden floor of the balcony beneath him, sitting with his back leaned up against the railings, his legs laying straight in front of him.
'Did she really just tell me, over the phone, that we are over? That what we started rebuilding and moved forward with is nothing compared to her first love with Tristan? Could she be so heartless to break up with me over the phone and tell me so honestly that it is because of Tristan?' he questioned in his mind, not wanting to believe the explanation his mind was providing his heart, which was still too busy aching to retort. Troy let out a frustrated groan as his fingers angrily ran through his hair, stopping as his hands rested on the back of his head while Troy stared unseeingly at his jean clad thighs, too deep in thought and torment to take in anything around him.
Seconds, then minutes, and then eventually hours passed but Troy still sat there, on Gabriella's balcony, trying to sort out everything, not wanting to believe that the happiness and love that had finally taken root between him and Gabriella could be gone so quickly. The hurt and pain of Gabriella's last few words still echoed in his mind and soul but there were now bits of anger and resentment in his train of thought and feelings mixed in, causing Troy to suffer even more, unsure of what he should be feeling. All he was sure of was that Gabriella wasn't here, where Troy selfishly needed her to be, to reassure him of their love, of their meaning to each other, and for that Troy was so upset he threw his cell phone against the wall of Gabriella's house, watching with empty eyes as it shattered into pieces, not registering the beginning of a ringtone reserved just for Gabriella that had started as his phone was soaring through the air, cutting off immediately at the impact.
"Gabriella, sweetie, you need to stop and slow down. You've gone through a lot in the last twenty-four hours," soothed Mary, reaching out to try to grab onto her daughter's hand as Gabriella passed by again during her pacing in their hotel room. "Gabriella, please, you need to truly rest. This isn't good for you, not sleeping and being so upset."
"Don't you get it Mom? Tristan is dead! I killed him!" shouted Gabriella, pausing in her pace only to spare her mother a glance as her eyes filled with tears for the millionth time that day. Mary and Gabriella spent the night in Albuquerque at home after cleaning up the cuts Gabriella had received from the cut glass but neither slept as Gabriella couldn't stop the hysterics and intense grief that had wrapped itself around Gabriella's soul, dragging her down to the point of suffocation. Mary, not knowing what else to do, had agreed with Gabriella's pleas that night to fly out to Los Angeles to make sure Tristan was fine. They had left on the second flight that morning, the first they could get on, only to be called by Sandra shortly after landing and being told by her that Tristan's suicide had been announced at school that morning. Since then, Gabriella had gone through every extreme emotion she ever felt she could feel, from despair to anger to depression to frustration to failure to confusion, all with the underlying feeling of heartache. Now, well now Gabriella felt nothing but guilt along with that heartache, knowing she could have done something, anything, to have prevented this.
"Ella," said Sandra, regretting using the nickname that Gabriella had also heard from Tristan's lips when Gabriella's brown eyes widened, tears filling them once again. "Oh Gabriella, I'm so sorry."
As Gabriella sank to the floor, Sandra dropped down from the desk chair she was sitting on, wrapping her arms tightly around one of her best friends, her own heart breaking with each sob Gabriella let out. "It's all my fault Sandy. I'll never hear him call me Ella again, I'll never see his green eyes sparkling back at me, never see the life he was meant to live. Sandra, what have I done?"
Sandra helplessly continued to run her hand down her best friend's back, murmuring soothing words as she let Gabriella just cry, occasionally meeting the worried look of Mary's, who sat watching the scene, unsure of what else could be done to comfort her daughter at a time like this. Then, when Mary thought Gabriella had possibly fallen asleep as she became so quiet, Gabriella's quiet voice made a request that surprised both Mary and Sandra.
"Gabriella, are you sure you want to do that?" asked Sandra, pulling away and brushing some of Gabriella's hair back over her sweatshirt covered shoulders while Gabriella wiped away her tears. "This may not be a good idea."
Gabriella shook her head though. "I need to do this, I need to go to his house, I need to see with my own eyes that Tristan is gone. What if the school was wrong? What if what I heard was just some big elaborate plan of Tristan's to get me out here, worried sick over him, and it's all a practical joke?"
Mary gave her daughter a sympathetic look, still floored at the sudden thought process Gabriella was cycling through at the moment. "Sweetie, you yourself got a call from his cousin Ian just a hour or two ago to tell you. Don't you remember that?"
"I do, but Ian was always Tristan's sidekick. He could be in on the joke. I need to go to Tristan's house and give him a piece of my mind for making me go through this, making me skip school, all for his amusement," resolved Gabriella, standing up, all traces of tears gone from her face with the exception of her red eyes. "Please, will you take me to his house?"
Sandra shot Mary an unsure look, both teenager and adult concerned and troubled by this change of events. "Gabriella, maybe we should just call Ian," suggested Sandra, not wanting to expose Gabriella to anything more than she needed to be. "I really don't think he would take part of something so cruel unless it was the truth."
"Are you kidding? He'd do anything for his cousin. Maybe it was even Ian who played at a sound sounding in the background!" exclaimed Gabriella, clinging onto this new truth in her mind. "If you don't take me, I'll just get a taxi, no problem."
As Gabriella grabbed her purse and headed towards the door, Mary made the decision to take Gabriella herself to ensure Gabriella's safety in her state of mind, despite not knowing if this was the smartest thing to do. On the way there, with Gabriella in the passenger seat and Sandra sitting in the seat behind her, Mary bit her lip in nervousness, a habit she had passed on to her daughter, as she watched both the road and Gabriella, who was amazingly calm. That calmness was shattered though once Mary pulled up to an empty spot on the street a few houses down from Tristan's family's large house and Gabriella got out to see many young people her age heading towards the same direction, gathering on the lawn of Tristan's house. The nagging feeling that Gabriella was only fooling herself into thinking Tristan was still alive was shoved back, Gabriella not wanting to face what it meant if that was true again.
She barely registered Sandra and her mother slipping an arm each through Gabriella's arms, walking between them slowly towards the home where Gabriella was hoping she'd see Tristan come running out from to see her. As the quiet sobs and crying began to reach Gabriella's ears even more clearly though, she found her feet began to fill with lead, making it harder to walk towards where everyone else was but she pushed on, a part of her still wanting to hope that it wasn't Tristan but someone else maybe that had died. When the house and the front yard was no longer obstructed by anything, was open to her view, for her to see, Gabriella's heart ached once more, reminding her that her heart still beat, regardless of all the pain it had suffered from in the last twenty-four hours.
Gabriella watched the scene in front of her unfold, supported more so now by the two females by her side. Her brown eyes absorbed the many teenagers loitering around the lawn, placing pictures, a few stuffed animals, and lots of flowers around the front porch with letters and even a jersey with markings on it. It was the football jersey that stuck out to Gabriella, knowing the last name and number 10 on it belonged to Tristan, feeling the immense pain and guilt emerge again, unable to escape the harsh reality that Tristan really was dead, that she had heard him take what was likely his last breath over the phone, frozen, unable to do anything to save him.
Sandra felt Gabriella's body give out almost completely just then and wrapped a strong arm around Gabriella's waist, bringing her closer to Sandra's body to better support her as Gabriella laid her head on her mother's shoulder, crying even more tears when she thought there had been no more. "Mom, Tristan's gone, he's really gone!" she sobbed, repeating it over and over again while Mary did her best to support her daughter, laying comforting kisses on her head while she prayed for Tristan's soul, that he found peace, and prayed for Gabriella to find her peace as well.
It was Sandra who saw Ian glance over casually and look away, only to look back at the three of them standing on the sidewalk, focusing on the crying brunette now wrapped in her mother's embrace. Ian walked towards them, his own eyes dry but with evidence of his own grief in that the orbs that were usually the same shade of green as Tristan's had been hidden by dullness with redness surrounding them. "Ella," he greeted, wincing as he heard Gabriella sob again, watching as her small body convulsed uncontrollably at his one word.
Ian stepped forward, silently asking permission from Mary, who nodded her head before Ian extended his arms and took Gabriella's tiny form into his arms, holding her and letting her cry into his shoulder, running his hands down her back as his own tears reappeared.
Mary and Sandra both stood back and allowed Ian and Gabriella to grieve together, knowing that the two of them would be key to each other's survival during this time to come. When Tristan and Gabriella had dated both times, they had often gone out with Ian and his girlfriend or had just spent time together at one of their houses, Ian always being a welcomed third. Sandra had often been there as well but knew that Gabriella and Ian had become close over that time too because of Tristan, teasing Tristan mercilessly for the fun of it while just enjoying each other's company.
Ian hadn't been the only one there on the lawn to notice Gabriella's presence and Mary felt it before she raised her eyes to see it, the unmistaken ice cold glare that was directed towards Mary's daughter by Tristan's own mother. Mary tilted her head as she observed the other woman's stance, seeing it become stiff as Tristan's mother, Lydia, continued to look at Gabriella through narrowed eyes. Not knowing what Lydia was thinking for sure but having a good idea, Mary thought it best to gather Gabriella and take her away from this place for now, wanting to avoid any altercations that could happen between Lydia and Gabriella on a day when both would be so raw with emotions, neither would know what they were saying or hearing for sure.
"Gabriella, sweetie, we should probably go. Ian, I am so sorry for your loss," said Mary, gently laying a hand on both of their shoulders. "If there is anything we can do, please let us know. You have Gabriella's number."
Ian slowly released Gabriella, who was instantly supported again by Sandra. "I do, and thank you Ms. Montez," he murmured, wiping away some of his tears with a bit of embarrassment.
"Don't be ashamed of your tears Ian, not in a situation like this. Tristan meant a lot to both of you and it is only right to be allowed to grieve the best way you see fit, even if it means crying," comforted Mary, squeezing Ian's arm a little before letting go, seeing in her peripheral Lydia making her way closer, stopping only when some people stopped her to give her comforting words and hugs.
"Thank you," said Ian, giving the three a sad smile. "Will you stay for the funeral? I think Aunt Lydia plans on a closed casket considering where Tristan shot himself but it would mean a lot if you were there."
Mary glanced over at where Lydia was still standing, seeing her occasionally look over at them, and returned her gaze back to Ian. "If you are sure it won't be a problem…"
Ian adamantly shook his head. "Not at all. It would mean a lot to me, it would mean a lot to Tristan."
Hearing the pleading tone in the young man's voice, Mary couldn't help but nod her agreement. "Please call and let us know when it is. We'll be sure to stay here long enough for that at least."
Ian gave Mary a grateful smile before giving Sandra a hug in gratitude for coming, giving Gabriella one last embrace before kissing her on the top of her head and releasing her. Their eyes connected one last time before Mary and Sandra walked away with Gabriella, heading towards the rental car.
Lydia broke away from the last well wishers finally only to see her nephew standing alone a few yards away where she had last seen him with someone Lydia had no desire to see on her property, especially on this day of mourning. True, Lydia had never liked Tristan dating Gabriella, especially when Tristan began sneaking away to see the little wench in New Mexico, but that dislike for the brunette was nothing compared to the resentment Lydia felt for Gabriella at that very moment, feeling as if Gabriella had single handedly stolen her son away from her without even really caring. 'If it's the last thing I do, I'll make damn sure you know exactly what you have done to my baby, to me, and to this family…'
Back in the car, Mary began the drive back to their hotel, cursing the Los Angeles traffic as soon as she got onto the freeway, feeling even more helpless as she watched through the rearview mirror Gabriella weakly lean against Sandra, who had an arm around Gabriella's shoulders. "Sweetie, do you want to maybe go to that favorite hamburger joint you loved while we lived out here?" offered Mary, grasping at small ideas she thought of to try to cheer her daughter up.
"Not hungry," replied Gabriella, feeling as if the mere idea of food was going to make her throw up.
"What about maybe going to the park and watching the little kids run around? I'll even push you on the swings," suggested Sandra, losing hope as Gabriella remained silent. After a few minutes passed, Sandra thought of someone who seemed to have always made Gabriella smile before and hoped that maybe he could do it again. It was a long shot but was worth a try. "Gab, why don't you call Troy. I'm sure he's worried about you."
For the first time since Gabriella heard the gunshot over the phone line last night, thoughts of her brown haired, blue eyed boyfriend back in New Mexico appeared in Gabriella's mind. "Do you think he knows?" she asked quietly, feeling guilty that some of her heartache over Tristan was replaced with warm feelings at just the thought of Troy.
Sandra shook her head. "No, and that's why you need to call him. I'm sure Troy would love a call from you Gabriella."
Mary dug through Gabriella's purse that was on the passenger seat and handed it back to Sandra, who then gave it to her best friend, both noting that there were at least twenty new messages waiting for Gabriella in her inbox. Realizing that she must have turned her cell on silent after Ian's call without even realizing, Gabriella switched her ringtone back on before scrolling though the inbox, feeling worse for not having told anyone back in Albuquerque about her whereabouts. After seeing all the worried texts from mostly Taylor and Troy, especially the ones where Troy kept apologizing to her, Gabriella knew she needed to call Troy.
She straightened in her seat as the car began picking up speed, escaping the traffic as Mary took an alternate freeway at the split that went through some of the hills to avoid the continued traffic jam. Gabriella hit the send button and scrolled down the list to highlight Troy's contact listing, trying to control the sobs threatening to escape again as she passed all the entries of her attempts to call Tristan through the night. Taking in a deep breath, Gabriella pushed send again and put the phone to her ear, waiting for Troy to pick up.
"Brie? Baby, where are you? What's going on?" greeted Troy, his voice husky.
Gabriella's heart twisted at hearing the concern in her boyfriend's voice. "Troy, I'm so sorry. I got all your texts but I just, I don't know how to say this," started Gabriella, having to pause as she tried to stop the water that blurred her vision from once again falling while her throat became dry.
"Where are you Gabriella? You weren't at school and Taylor didn't know where you were. This isn't like you," stated Troy, the traces of anxiety over her clear in his voice.
"I'm just, I'm so sorry Troy," apologized Gabriella, knowing now that she had caused Troy so much worry. Guilt from this realization on top of what she already felt over Tristan's suicide doubled the amounts of tears, forcing her to lose control over them as she sobbed a little. When she managed to get a flimsy hold over herself again, she added, "I'm in Los Angeles."
She heard silence before Troy asked, "What are you doing in Los Angeles?"
'God this is so hard,' Gabriella thought, trying to figure out how she could manage to tell Troy everything without losing it completely, hearing static forming and continuing for a while until her mother drove the car down the other side of the hill. By then she heard Troy's voice calling out to her from the other line. "Brie? Are you there?"
Gabriella resolved then to push herself to voice what she didn't want to make a reality, knowing that Troy needed to know, hoping that somehow Troy could make this all better even. "Tristan, God Troy, he killed himself. I had to come to try to save him. I'm sorry Troy, I know I should have told you or something but it's just so hard, I can't believe his life is over, it's over. What am I going to do? God I feel so responsible, like I pulled the trigger. Oh God, I really did kill Tristan," sobbed Gabriella, feeling Sandra tighten her hold around Gabriella's shoulders, dropping the phone onto Sandra's lap as Gabriella returned the half embrace, just needing to find a sliver of comfort then.
Sandra glanced down at the cell in her lap and was puzzled when it showed the main screen of the phone, not a connected call screen. 'Did Troy actually hang up on her? I don't think she ended the call. He couldn't be that cruel though could he?'
A while later, what could have been minutes or hours, Gabriella wasn't sure, she gripped her control with an iron fist, forcing herself to calm her nerves down, knowing somewhere in the back of her mind that she had to gain control or be forever lost to something much darker than grief.. She gratefully took the bottled water her mom offered her from the front seat, taking several gulps before focusing on the cell again, expecting that it would still be connected. Her confusion showed on her face as evident by the shake of the head she got from Sandra.
"The call was disconnected at some point, I don't know when or how," answered Sandra, knowing the questions in Gabriella's mind.
"I better call him back," said Gabriella, a bigger part of her just needing to hear Troy's voice again, to tell him that she loved him despite their fight the day before, that all Gabriella really needed just then was to know that Troy was there for her, that he loved her back, and to hear from his mouth Gabriella wasn't the wretched person she felt she was.
Gingerly, Gabriella hit the send button twice, listening to his ringback tone that suddenly stopped and went direct to voicemail. The abruptness of the call going to voicemail surprised Gabriella but she pushed it aside, closing her eyes as she focused on the pre-recorded voice belonging to Troy.
"Hey, it's Troy but I'm not here, probably playing ball or something. Leave it!" recited the voicemail before the automated prompt to leave a message was heard.
Gabriella cleared her throat as the beep resounded, leaving her message as clearly as she could. "Hi Wildcat, it's me. I'm sorry…for everything. For fighting with you over something so stupid yesterday and then…disappearing on you today… I hope you understand I had to come out here. I had hoped…Tristan…really wasn't…dead…but he…is and I…God I just need to hear your voice right now. Please call me, I love you."