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Chapter 9: Kate
"What is going on here?" Lance asks, a look of anger and confusion on his face. "Danielle, what is this about?"
"Sorry Lance, but I think Kate has to tell you this one herself. I'm going to go take Alex on a ride or two. Why don't you two go talk somewhere and cool off? I don't want to have to see you take off as well Lance," Danielle says, walking away from us.
"Well?" Lance asks.
"Okay, okay. Why don't we walk? This may take a while," I say, starting to walk with no destination.
"I just want an answer here Kate. Is Alex your son?"
"Yes, he is. However, I don't know who the father is."
"Is that why you didn't want to tell JC? Because you were a slut in high school or something?"
"I wish it were that easy Lance. See, it's more complicated. In truth, I was raped by someone I didn't even know. Yes, it did happen in high school but by that time, I already was getting tutored because I was always going on auditions and such for jobs in this acting world I now live in. It took a lot to actually have him and not give him up like so many people told me to. I'm glad I never listened to them because he is my pride and joy," I say, letting tears of pain from JC's leaving and of sadness associated to the rape that happened years ago.
"You expect me to believe that? Kate, you are a freaking actress! Of course you can put on a good show."
God, how can I convince him of the truth? "Okay, fine. Don't believe me. Trust me though, no amount of acting classes can create this much pain that I have to live through every day when I see Alex, knowing in what manner he was created. You don't think that doesn't hurt me to know that one day when he asks who his dad is, I'll have to tell him that his dad was some jerk who decided to rape a minor? I don't look forward to do that day but I don't plan on softening the truth up for him either."
I can't take it anymore and run to where the lake is located in the middle of Adventureland and New Orleans Square. I feel sobs welling up and let them out as I just lean helplessly over the railing there, letting all of the tears get out of my system. Soon though, I feel an arm wrap around my shoulder. I look up and see Lance staring down at me with a much softer look and concern in his eyes.
"I'm sorry Kate. It's just that I didn't know what to think, and after that little scene, I felt like I had to stick up for JC or something. I'm sorry I was insensitive. Why didn't you just tell him the truth though?"
"Because I thought he would never want to see me again because of that! I wanted him to get to know the real me before I told him. Danielle and I even agreed that I would tell him tonight, whether he blew up or not because it was no longer fair to him and look what happened! God, I wish I could just turn back time to when I didn't know any of you and Alex and I were just struggling to get along, barely noticeable to anyone."
"Don't say that Kate. I really am sorry that these things happened to you. Don't worry. JC will get over it. He will understand, just give him time. I'll tell him the truth for you and try to get him to understand. It's amazing that you had Alex at all."
"Well, I don't believe in abortions, so I couldn't do that. Like I said, Alex was the good that came out of that evil act. Sure, times got rough for me after he was born but all of the trouble was worth it to see him smile at me every day and tell me he loves me."
Lance pulls me to him in a big bear hug. "Kate, things will be fine. You'll see, absolutely fine."
"I sure hope so Lance. Danielle is lucky to have an understanding guy like you. Thanks for listening."
"Thanks for sharing Kate. You really are strong to live through all of that and still be fine. Don't let anything shake that up, okay?"
"I'll try. God, what am I going to do?"
"Don't worry, we'll think of something. Like I said, things will be absolutely fine."
The next morning, I wake up to the phone ringing. "Hello?"
"Kate? What the hell is going on here? Tell me that this sleazy tabloid isn't true!" my agent barks into the phone.
"What are you talking about?" I groggily ask as I wake myself up.
"Alex is your son through rape? I thought you said he was your adopted brother."
"Oh God!" How did that get out so fast and who did it?
"Does that mean that it's true?"
"Yes, it does, okay? God! Who was low enough to do that article?"
"A famous sleazy photographer. Were you by chance with Lance Bass last night too?"
"Yeah, at Disneyland with Danielle and him, as well as JC and Alex. Why?"
"There are some intimate pictures of you two in here too. I want to see you today, for lunch. We need to talk here."
"Okay. Where?"
My agent tells me the restaurant and says that the director and producer of Boy Meets World are going to be there too. Great! Now my life is definitely ruined. No JC, no show, no privacy at all anymore! I crawl out of bed, not wanting to face life, but make myself because I know Alex is waiting up for me for his breakfast.
"Good morning Alex. What do you want? Cereal or oatmeal?" I ask as I pass him in the living room, where he's watching TV.
"Lucky Charms!" he shouts, running to me and giving me a big hug around my legs. "Morning Mommy."
"Morning cutie," I say, squatting down and giving him a big hug. I notice he is wearing his Mickey ears that JC bought him and feel a tug at my heart and tears well up. "Go watch some TV, okay?"
"Okay!" he says, running back into the living room.
Just then, the door opens and Laura comes in, looking flustered.
"What's wrong Laura?"
"Nothing Kate. How is your morning?"
"You are a bad liar and cover up person. What is really going on now?"
"Well, the truth about Alex is out and well, it has caused quite a stir."
"How big?"
"There are reporters outside the apartment complex's gates. What are we going to do?"
"Nothing can be done. They have invaded my privacy and well, there is nothing else I can do but try to deal with it and keep what sanity and little privacy I have left to myself."
"How's Alex taking it?"
"He doesn't know anything about it and I want to keep it that way. I have a lunch with my agent and the director and producer of the show. I'm scared that it is the end of me."
Laura comes over to me and gives me a big hug. "Don't worry Kate. You are a great actress! You will make it anywhere else if those bastards kick you off. Do you know how much I admire you for your strength? No matter what, you always have it together."
"Not really, but thanks. I better get Alex's breakfast together before I get him changed. I'll see you tonight, right?"
"Actually, I'm seeing James tonight. We had a touching night last night and well, I'm trying to keep it going."
"I understand. Well, I guess I'll see you when I do."
"Definitely."
In a couple of hours, I am taking a deep breath and opening the door to whatever may come my way as Alex and I walk hand in hand into the restaurant. I spot my agent right away as I am beckoned over by Kevin.
"Good afternoon Kate. I'm taking this is Alex?" he asks.
"Yes, this is my son Alex."
"Nice to meet you little guy."
"Nice to meet you too mister," Alex says, shaking Kevin's offered one. We all take a seat and begin one of the most difficult conversations I have ever participated in. At first, it seems like I am really going to get the boot, but then it slowly starts turning unexpectedly in a good way.
"So what we were thinking was, if it is okay with you, having an episode where your character is actually raped and how that affects you, and the ones in your life. Would that be okay?" Kevin asks.
"You mean you still want me on the show?" I can't help but ask.
"Of course! You are too good of an actress to lose. Besides, this is our way of trying to help reach out to those other victims who were violated like you were. So many remain silent, maybe we should send out the message that they shouldn't be. You are the role model of the perfect way to handle it Kate."
"No, I'm not. I lied to so many people about him."
"That's not the point. The point is that you kept him instead of giving him away or aborting. To even survive that trauma and still be in control of your life as you are now is remarkable."
"He's right Kate. That's why when those organizations called me to see if you would speak at their gatherings, I kind of booked you for it. They are for free but I thought you might want to do it. If not, let me know and I'll cancel," my agent says.
"No! I think you all have a good point. I need to express the fact that not everyone needs to hide in fear of ridicule if they come out and admit that they were raped. There are so many women out there who have been raped that it hurts to think about how much they must be suffering," I say.
"Kate, how did you manage to get through all of it anyway?"
"Lots of prayer, love, and determination. That's why I fought so hard to become a successful actress. I knew I had to support Alex and raise him right, which I hope I am doing. I never want to see him be hurt for the mistake his biological father made. I don't even know who he is."
"You know, Alex could get into the business. His mix of African American and Asian blood gives him a real charming look."
"Don't even think about it! I don't want him in this business because well, it's just too early for him. Maybe another time though later on, okay?"
"Sure thing Kate. The option is always open. Anyway, so how do you want to handle this whole thing?" my agent asks.
"The only, honest way. I already lost a great guy because of trying to cover it up slightly so I'm going to stick to the truth for the entire world. If anyone asks, confirm that I was raped, and that Alex is my child through that. I don't care what critics have to say. That's the way it has to be because well, I'm not ashamed of him and I hope none of you become ashamed of me for this."
"How could you think that? We all have so much respect for you, it's unbelievable. Just do us all a favor. If things get bad, let one of the three of us know and we'll help however we can. We do care a lot about your well being and what is best for you."
"Thank you. I'll keep that in mind but I think Alex and I will be just fine."
"Mommy, I have to go potty," Alex utters, doing a little bounce in his seat.
Everyone, including me, laughs at how cute he looks bouncing around a little, letting it be known that he really had to go. I take his hand and lead him to the restroom so that he can do his business. While I wait for him outside the stall he is in, I can't help but wonder where the heck JC and the rest of 'NSync are and what they are doing. I wonder even if JC is thinking of Alex or me at all at the moment. I guess I'll never know.