Chapter 10: JC
"Yo JC! Wake up!"
A hand snaps right in front of my face, breaking me away from my deep thoughts.
"Where were you?" Joey asks, a look of concern in his eyes.
"Just thinking."
"You know what? Call her."
"Call who?"
"Kate! My God man! You have been like this and even worse ever since you two broke up. Why don't you just call Kate? Sure it's been two or three months but still, I think she would like to hear from you."
"Yeah right. What makes you think I want to talk to her anyway? She's the one that deceived me."
"But can you really blame her for fearing that you'd blow up like you actually did when you found out? JC, you didn't even stick around to hear the story behind Alex," Chris interjects.
"Does it matter? The point is that she didn't tell me the truth from the get go."
"Then why are you still mooning over her?" Justin asks.
"I am not!"
"Are too! I don't even have to make a stupid bet to prove to you that I'm right."
"Argh! It was you and your stupid bet that even got me involved with her in the first place Justin!" I exclaim.
"Maybe, but think about how happy you were with her. You are just being too stubborn! Too much like the rest of us males when it comes to our own women."
"Call her JC," Joey says.
"No, I won't. I bet she has moved on anyway. I don't miss her," I say, hoping it sounded stronger to them than it did to me.
"Wrong! Try again JC," Lance says, from his seat across from me.
"What do you mean Lance?" I ask.
"Think about it. What are our greatest songs on this new album we are releasing in two months?"
"I can't say for the group what they are."
"Well I can. We have all agreed that your writing abilities have been fantastic these past few weeks, and that is why they went on the final cut. "Eternal Kisses," "Memories of Love," and "Perfect Three" are all wonderful musically and lyrically. You are the one that did all of that."
"What does that have to do with Kate?"
"She, along with Alex, plus the love you two share, is what your motivation here is. Nothing else could be driving you to be writing this well since you never have before."
"Gee, thanks Lance."
"He's got a very good point JC. Yes, you wrote well before, but never like this. This stuff is just beautiful. The harmonies and lyrics are perfect. That's also why we selected one to be our first single. JC, you've found your match in Kate. Don't lose her over stupid male pride," Chris says.
"What do all of you know? It's not like you all have perfect love lives," I say.
"True, but at least we can admit when things are going bad and we at least try to make up for things when we know we are wrong. JC, if she had told you that she was raped, would you have seen her the same way? Would you have treated her the same way?" asks Joey.
That's a good point...
"Of course you wouldn't. You'd be more cautious and maybe jumpy about being around her. You wouldn't know how to act. That's why she didn't tell you. I'm sure that is. I'm just glad that you didn't take the picture of her and Lance together so close the wrong way like you could have. That would have made it worse," Justin says.
"I don't know why I didn't. I guess I just trust Lance too much to make a move on her, even after I leave her there behind me as I storm off. I think I trust all of you too much in that respect," I say.
"Well you should because we are all like brothers JC. All we are trying to do here is to get you to realize your mistake and to get you to fix it before it really is too late," Lance says.
"Wait a minute? Since when did the two youngest members of this group start giving me advice?"
"The minute you let us! You are the father of the group and always will be JC. Sometimes even fathers need help though. Don't be ashamed and go for it. I'm sure she will at least be open to friendship," Justin replies.
"What if I am true to my heart and admit that I want more?" I ask.
"Then you'll just have to be patient with it all, now won't you? Go pick up that phone and try."
I look all around the studio and see all of my friends and "brothers" smiling at me encouragingly. "Well, here goes nothing," I say, picking up the phone and dialing Kate's phone number.
I wait for her to pick up her side of the line and am shocked when a guy picks up. "Hello?"
"Hi. Is Kate there?"
"Yes, she is. Who's this?"
"Who's this?"
"Ryder. Who are you?"
"What are you doing there Ryder?"
"None of your business. Now, who are you?"
"That's not very important I guess. Bye," I say, hanging up the phone.
"So?" asks Joey.
"So what? Ryder answered the phone and gave me a hard time so I hung up. Maybe she has moved on with him. I mean, she is totally attractive and all."
"Where has all of your confidence with Kate gone? I'm sure that they aren't more than friends."
"Well, we will never know, will we?"
"You're giving up on this, just like that?" asks Lance.
"Why not?"
"Because you usually care more than this. JC, don't let Ryder's presence there throw you off. You evidently love her," Justin states.
"No, I don't."
"Then you're lying to yourself. Those songs of yours are speaking volumes of love, for Kate and Alex. "Perfect Three" is all about your times with them in the past and future. You can't deny your heart when it appears unconsciously. Don't even try because we all know the truth. She needs you now JC."
"Justin, what else can I do for her? She has been raped. I can't help her in any way. It hurts me so much to know what has happened to her but I can't do anything for her and I bet she would rather that I don't."
"Can't you see JC? Kate is strong and has pulled through this. Haven't you heard about her speaking to organizations about her experience? She has turned something bad into something good. It's too bad that the culprit got away though," Chris says.
"I know all that. Why does she need me though?"
"To show her what real love is like. To give her more strength and support," Joey answers.
"You can show her all that when we meet her again in three months for the awards show we are doing then. She'll be there because it's TV and music combined," Justin supplies.
"Do I have to go?" I ask.
"Stop being a chicken JC and go. It's perfect!" Lance exclaims.
"Fine!"
Exactly three months after that day, I find myself climbing out of the limo, preparing to meet the press and public. I didn't have a date with me, just like Joey, but Justin, Chris, and Lance all show up with their girls. Lance is going to meet us at the start of the press line because he went with Danielle in her limo while Britney came with us.
We manage to find Lance among all of the people and join the line, following behind the cast of Boy Meets World. I can't help but stare at Kate as she smiles and laughs with different reporters. She looks absolutely stunning in that long, burgundy satin dress. I wish I could just reach and hold her in my arms. I notice that she doesn't have Alex with her, so I just assume that he's at home with Laura.
"JC, is it true that you and Kate used to be an item?" a reporter asks.
"Huh?"
"Did you used to date Kate from Boy Meets World?"
"No comment," I say, answering what I usually do when asked those questions. I wish I still were though. I notice that the other guys are all looking at me so I smile to let them know that I am okay. We successfully make it through the line and make it inside, where we are escorted to the backstage before being seated. There, we are told what we are doing, and when to come on-stage. Interestingly enough, fate has played a trick on me. We are all giving Kate an award for best role model, figures. She deserves it more than anyone, but why is it that we have to meet again for the first time in five months like this, in front of millions of people?
"Are you going to be okay?" asks Lance.
"Yes, I'll be fine," I answer.
"Well, what can we say? It's fate for you two to get back together. Please try tonight JC," Joey pleads.
"I will, trust me. I think that I've thought about all of this enough to realize that my life really was much better with her in it. God, I miss her. These months have been agonizing and I really want to end the pain, no matter how much I may deny it some days. I just don't think she'll take me back, especially since she's probably got Ryder all over her, offering her everything she could possibly want."
"You don't know that man. Come on, we better get to our seats," Chris says, leading the group to our seats, right next to Kate and the rest of the cast. I suppose it is to allow Danielle and Lance to sit together. I notice that Kate is sitting next to Danielle and Ryder, who seems to be extremely close to her. She laughs at something he said and looks up, meeting my gaze directly. The smile lasts on her face for a few seconds before slowly falling and then vanishing as she looks away. Now why did that just seem to tear my heart into pieces?
The show passes by rather quickly. The Backstreet Boys and 98 Degrees, as well as other groups like TLC have won various awards but we have yet to win anything. Boy Meets World receives awards for best dramatic sitcom and best long-running couple for Corey and Topanga. Soon, we are motioned to come up and I find myself facing the entire audience, awaiting for what we have to present.
"This next award is new, and really special," Chris says.
"It is for the one person in the entertainment industry that has set the best example for others, no matter their age, gender, or situation," Lance adds.
Joey says, "Great consideration has gone into this and one person has been selected to be the best role model out of so many."
"Each person on this planet has been or will be looked up to by others for various reasons. This one person being honored has just shown the best example of how to live life, even after tragedy strikes," Justin says.
Finally I say, "We are all proud to honor her tonight for all she has done in just a few months. She has spoken to organizations across the country and around the world of her experience and has made every effort in trying to help out other people in the same situation she is in. She is strong, and incredibly loving for her son, Alex. If you haven't guess already, this award goes to Kate Chong."
I see Ryder, Ben, and Danielle each give her a hug before she slowly makes her way up to the stage. God, did I already note that she was beautiful tonight? Once she reaches the stage, everyone gives her a kiss, and I follow in suit, enjoying the smell of her scent so close again. She actually smiles at me before taking the award Lance hands her and turning to the microphone.
"Wow. I never ever thought that I would end up in this position. Who knew that there was an award for being human and living life? I have to dedicate this award though to all those out there, who have been raped or sexually harassed and lived through it. Each one of you are wonderful and so strong. Never give up on life because you are too much of a contribution to our society and are great examples yourselves. I also have to thank those individuals who have stood by me through it all, Laura, Danielle, the rest of the cast, and my family. Above all though, I have to thank God for blessing me with Alex, my son from the rape. I would never risk losing him though, even if I could go back in time to undo the rape. As they say, there is always a good thing in every bad thing. Thank you all!"
She blows a kiss to the audience and takes my offered arm as we walk offstage. "Thanks JC for that whole speech you made to introduce me out there."
"It was nothing but the truth. Listen, I was wondering Kate if you had some time and an open mind to talk to me."
"Well, we are in the middle of a show right now."
"Please Kate? I need to say some things to you that I've been wanting to for a very long time."
"Okay."
"I'm sorry for leaving you at Disneyland and for not bothering to listen to your story. I'm sorry for being a bad male example overall and never calling you when you probably needed me the most. It's been a hard five months without you and well, I don't want to have to experience five million more. Could you possibly find it in your heart to take me back?"
"JC, to be honest, I don't know. My heart says yes, my mind says no. I trusted you once before with my heart and you just let it shatter when you left Disneyland, never to be heard of again. I've missed you a great deal too but how can I take you back, knowing that you may just leave and break my heart again, when it isn't even totally healed?"
"I know nothing I can say will make you believe me when I say this but I do mean it when I say that I care a great deal about you and Alex. Ask any of the guys. They have all had to deal with me mooning over you and mourning the loss I created myself. I was so scared of what you had to say to me, I couldn't get myself to talk to you. That's why it has taken so long. Justin was right when he called me a chicken. Do you think that there is any possibility of us being together?"
"I think right now I have to say that we need to start off as just friends. JC, you know I care a lot about you but I really do need more time to gain back my trust in you. Besides, I think you may want to spend more time with Alex and me with no strings attached to see if that is the type of life you can live with if we do start dating again."
"I guess I have no option but to accept that. Thank you Kate, this has meant a lot to me."
Kate smiles and gives me a big hug. I lean down with the intention of kissing her cheek but end up kissing her right on the lips. She pulls back but doesn't pull away. "As nice as that was, I think we better get back to our seats. I do mean that I want us to be friends but just give me time before expecting anything else."
"It's no problem Kate. We better go," I say, taking her hand in mine and leading her back to our seats during a short commercial break.
Once back in my seat, I could hardly take my eyes off of her.
"Wow, someone has a stupid grin on his face," I hear Justin tease.
"So? Maybe I took your advice and it worked. At last I am back in her good graces and able to earn her smiles again."
"Good job buddy!" he exclaims, extending his hand for a high-five.
"Shh! We're in this category!" Chris stage whispers.
"The winner for best single of this year is... 'NSync for "Memories of Love"!" shouts Sarah Michelle Gellar.
I couldn't help but smile even bigger as I realize that my song about Kate and me has actually won an award! I get up and hug Danielle, but hug Kate even closer. Then I join the others and bound up the steps to the stage.
"First of all, as always, we of 'NSync want to thank our Heavenly Father. Without him, we would not be here, on the stage, or even on this planet. He has blessed us with so many of our skills and talents that we would not be a group without Him. Thank you, wherever you are!" Justin says.
"We also would like to thank everyone at our record company, as well as our management. You are all so important to us. Thanks for all of your hard work!" Joey exclaims.
"We would also like to thank all of our family and friends for supporting us through thick and thin. There's been a lot of hard times over the years where we just wanted to give up but none of you would let us. Thank you," Chris adds.
Lance says, "Thank you to all of the fans out there who have supported us through everything as well. It means a lot to us that you all still love our music. Speaking of, I have to recognize the fact that the writer of "Memories of Love" is one of us. JC is actually the writer and co-composer of the song. I think I speak for everyone when I say thank you to him for writing such a beautiful song."
I take a deep breath and smile at him and the rest of the group. "Well, I have to say thanks to the rest of the guys for sticking by me, no matter what happened. The fans, our families, our management and our label are all really important to me and the rest of the guys. We appreciate everything you have given and shown us. I'd like to take this time to thank my inspiration for this song, Kate. You will always be in my heart baby, no matter what. Thank you everyone!"
We all head off the stage, and I am instantly hugged by the other guys. We won an award for a song I actually wrote! This is totally a dream come true. What makes it even better though, is that Kate is sitting in the seat next to mine when I get back so that Lance is sitting in her old seat and she in his, in between Danielle and me. She instantly grabs my hand and holds it in hers. "Thank you JC for being so sweet. Did you really write that about us though?"
"Of course. I wouldn't lie in front of so many people. I hope you like it."
"Actually, I love it. It means so much more now though."
I smile at her and raise our entwined hands to my lips to lay a light kiss on the back of her hand. "I'm glad it does because it is my heart and soul that I put into that, and my heart that you have sole possession of then and now."
Kate smiles at me and gives me a kiss on the cheek before turning her attention back to the stage. Oh yeah, this night is definitely a dream come true.