I must admit, my first reaction upon hearing about the death of my cousin's
19 year old daughter was, "God...you must have made a mistake!"
This poem is basically what happened Friday evening, September 15,
as a harsh dose of reality hit me.

The pain in the pit of my stomach
tells me that I just heard bad news
but my mind refuses to register it

Memories flash through my mind
like a slide show of her life
and my heart begins to break

The tears well up behind my eyes
as the details penetrate the wall
that had sprung up when I first heard

I sit down and try to make sense of it
try to answer Why? How come? What for?
but all reason escapes my human mind

Then the dam breaks and the tears spill
rushing down my face like a river
and the gut wrenching sobs soon follow.

I can feel God's presence above me
letting me have my time of grief
before settling His hand on my heart

"I know it's hard for you now," He says.
"You don't know My Heavenly plan,
but be patient and--someday--you will see."

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

The song that is playing is what makes going on without Jennifer possible.
We have not lost her forever, nor even at all...we just can't see her anymore.

God sent His Son, they called Him Jesus
He came to love, heal, and forgive
He shed His blood to buy my pardon
An empty grave is there to prove my Saviour lives!

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow!
Because He lives, all fear is gone!
Because I Know He holds the future!
And life is worth the living just because He lives!

How sweet to hold a newborn baby
And feel the pride and joy he brings
But greater still the calm assurance
This child can face uncertain days because He lives!

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow!
Because He lives, all fear is gone!
Because I Know He holds the future!
And life is worth the living just because He lives!

And then some day, I'll cross that river
I'll fight my final war with pain
And then as death gives way to victory
I'll see the lights of glory, and I'll know He lives!

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow!
Because He lives, all fear is gone!
Because I Know He holds the future!
And life is worth the living just because He lives!

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