This newsletter deals with abuse and abuse related issues. Every attempt is made to ensure the accuracy of information presented. However, we assume no liability re same. This newsletter may be distrubted for non-profit and educational purposes, provided it remains fully intact, and is distributed free of charge. No other distribution without the authors consent.
"I love being an Abuse Survivor because..."
I couldn't find the article I wanted to include here. It was a satyrical rebuttal to all those who mistakenly think abuse survivorship is a simply a 'fad' and that the recovery process was somehow a 'cop out' from real life. Unfortunately, I couldn't find the article. When I do, I'll be sure to include it in another newsletter. For now I'll just have to make do and try to give you a sense of it. Perhaps we can come up with another version. It went something like this...
"I love being an abuse survivor because...
Some of My Favourite Quotes
"Listen to ALL your feelings" Unknown
"He who knows others is wise; He who knows himself is enlightened." Tao Te Ching
"No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow." Alice Walker
"Do not try to drive pain away by pretending that it is not real; Pain, if you seek serenity in Oneness, will vanish of its own accord." Seng-ts'an
"A wise being lives inside you." Unknown
"This above all: To thine own self be true and it must follow, as the night of day, thou canst not be false to anyone." Shakespeare
"He who is in harmony with Nature hits the mark without effort and apprehends the truth without thinking." Confucius
"The trick is not to rid your stomach of butterflies, but to make them fly in formation." Unknown
"It's going to hurt now. Anything dead coming back to life hurts." Toni Morrison
"As the bee collects nectar and departs without injuring the flower, or its colour or scent, so let a sage dwell in his village." Dhammapada, IV 49
"Knowledge comes about insofar as the object known is within the knower. "St. Thomas Aquinas
"The time to relax is when you don't have time for it." Unknown
As I write this newsletter, I am frustrated. I want to scream at those individuals and organizations in my life who are in some way needling me right now. I want to tell them "let me be!". In keeping with my life philosophy, I want to be "Free To Be". Then I remember, my philosophy includes the notion that I can choose to "be".
I can choose to live now, in the moment and to not spend valuable energy on worrying things that may, or may not, come about in the future.
Is it easy? Nope. I employ a few 'grounding' exercises to help me. (After I've vented that is. A good airing is always good for the soul!) Okay, so back to what helps me live by my rules instead of someone else's... For me the quickest way to get my priorities straight is vis a vie nature. Gazing at a starlit sky reminds me of the harmony of the universe and how wonderful it is to stand still and recognize the moment in wonder. Sitting in a comfortable spot in under a big oak tree in the woods, silent witness to the forest life helps me feel humble and strong at the same time. Playing catch with my dog 'Teesha', watching her joy at playing with me, reminds me that it is the small acts in life that make a difference for others and for me in doing them.
No doubt, when the sun sets and rises again, one needler or another may still be there. My 'work' is in remembering that I can choose to take care of myself as best as I can and to not invest unnecessary energy in their 'game'. To do otherwise is to play by someone else's rules, rules that aren't in harmony with 'being' me. -- Well that's the theory anyways ;-)
If you would like to share your creative work, poetry, story or artwork in our next newsletter, contact us. We are always looking for interesting articles, personal stories, creative expressions, or other input (including gifs of your work) which you feel would be of interest to survivors of abuse. A special thank you to those who submitted their work for this issue. Each author retains copyrights to their work, no reproduction without the authors consent.
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Be sure to check out Kathy's creative website. Kathy has used the written word and her own artwork as a way to reach out to others who need help and understanding. It's worth the visit! | |
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My Little Girl She is petite With hazel eyes that show a very determined spirit Except when she reveals her deepest wounds Caused by the creator stealing the man Who hung her moon Not to mention calmed her monsoons. Now she sits in a corner With eyes that turned into night- Afraid to reach for someone to hold her Because everyone expects her to be strong Except the child's protected shell Which is a wise young woman. This strong woman stands with open arms To embrace her traumatized little girl Until she is strong enough to cope With the outside world. ©: 1998 Whitney Lyons |
Sunrise Eyes
The light in his blue eyes ©: 1998 Whitney Lyons
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Sarah's Story I'm 17 year's old and three years ago I revealed that I was sexually abused to a mental adolescent health nurse, who had become my friend and someone I could trust. It took me a long time to trust her because since my baby-sitter who was my abuser broke my trust it takes me a long time to trust anyone. I was seeing her because the guidance counsellor at my school thought I was depressed. I saw my abuser at his sisters wedding, after about nine years of not seeing him. After seeing him again everything came back in one big swoop and scared the living daylights out of me. It scared me because my mind had blocked off these memories. I finally had a reason for being so angry at everyone and everything. I told the mental health nurse my story, she told my parents and Children's Aid Society that I had been abused, because I was under 16 at the time. I told my psychiatrist and the social worker who was working with my family at the time. I told Children's Aid that I wanted to press charges. They got in contact with the police from where the abuse happened and I told the police officer my story, which was very scary. My pressing charges only went as far as two preliminary hearings and a sentencing hearing. I attended the sentencing hearing. I feel that the sentencing hearing was almost as bad as the abuse. I feel this way because this was the first time since I had remembered the abuse that I had been in the same room as my abuser and I had never been a court room before. I got to my friends house after the sentencing hearing and we cried together. This friend and I have been friends since we were a year old and we have no secrets from one another. At the end of our crying spree I felt like God had lifted nine years of pain, hate, fear and be-trail off of me. I don't know what I would have done without the help of God and my friends because they helped me through the pain and torment I was going through. After this I thought I was healed and could go on with the rest of my life but I was wrong. On a Friday after school I took the bus to my friends house and the bus passed the court house and I froze. I couldn't move. I just sat there staring at the court house. On Sunday when I got back to my house I prayed and God said that the court house was a sign from him that I was ready to begin my healing process. So I started group therapy and I'm halfway through my second block, a block is eight weeks. I feel that God has helped me through the most difficult time in my life. I will continue to listen to him and use his wisdom to the best of my ability.
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