Meet PalerNymph!
Once upon a time, in the land of apricots and earwigs, a relatively normal couple had the displeasure of claiming me as their own. They found me bathing in a bucket of warm coyote's blood and feared for their farm animals' safety. They tried to prove they were unfit parents time and time again, but I bribed the social workers with money I received after pawning my mother's family heirlooms. Most of the time they kept me locked in the basement. Black Widows were my only friends. I learned everything I know by watching my father's discarded, pornographic movies.
When I turned eighteen, my parents moved away and forgot to take me with them. At least that's what the letter they left me said. So, I set off to make my way in this world. I found my true calling when I became a truck driver. One can find me driving from state to state, spouting profanities every time I open my mouth, owning the road and usually touching myself in public.
I'd like to take this opportunity to tell you that you suck. There are three types of people in the world: PalerPiccalo, victims, and retards. Take it up the ass and realize that's the way you like it.
Oh, one more thing, if you get the crazy notion that you must breed, remember that Piccalo and I exist. We'll be here to torment those hideous creatures you call children long after you're gone. Thank you, drive through.
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