sodball 1

 

bio

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My Soul
 

The soul? The soul you ask?
Where else to words come from? The mouth? The mind?
No.
Inspired by what lies within, words are a reflection of the heart,
An expression of life . . .
The beauty of the Soul.

Welcome to my world.
Pick your passion.

Poetry

Awakening
Discernment
Driven
Sunday's Flock
Truth?
The World
Beneath the Oak

Fiction

The Waiting Party
Tony
 
 
 

 

Prosetry

Words
Fire
Eyes
M-T-A-R-I
Forever Fly
Walking Past
 


Words

          Why do I write you ask? I will tell you why I write. The waters flow inside, from my soul into my mind. From there they must escape. Have you ever tried to silence thunder? Have you ever tired to hold back a waterfall? Words speak louder than thunder, and contain more power than any waterfall. They are driven from the soul, created in the heart, two places that did not come from the dust. Before there was dust there were words, before there was thunder, words spoke clear, before there was water, words flowed from the soul. Words come when they will; they cannot be forced, they must be found. Words contain the power to destroy and to heal. They contain the power of death, and the delight of life. For life without words is death, and words in the hand of the Master call forth life. Words in the hand of the true, brings life to its fullest. Words summon hidden hearts and forgotten fears, they uncover smiles, and the unleash tears. Words reveal life. I live in words, and words live in me. Why do I write you ask? I write because I must.

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Fire

          Here I sit, with a hunger in my belly, a fire in my soul. Fingers poised with passion. What will they write? I leave that to them. Perhaps a story of a flying man whose eyes blaze with power, perhaps a poem about a whisper that will not die. Perhaps it will be the history of a silent song, or maybe it will nor be any of these. Maybe it will not be words at all, but a silent gaze piercing the soul, a breath of life. Maybe a song, maybe a singer, maybe a note on which to fly beyond the clouds. A breeze lifting you higher, as high as a star, high enough to forget yourworld, high enough to discover a new one. A world of words. A world of dreams. A world that never dies, with eyes that never close, with flowers that never wilt, with songs that ever sing. A world where waters always run with the sound of angels wings. A world untouched, a world unspoiled. A world your own. Perhaps you have have seen it before. A world between two pages, where ink fades to blue, and words to green. Only a page? Only a page? Unbind your eyes inside and see. See the sun and the moon, and the worlds beneath. See a star born from a gentle hand, see a river, see a glen. See a deer with eyes afire whose golden feet grace the air. See a mountain rise from the dust, see a silent swan at rest. See a forest, see a moon, see a silent empty tomb. See a banner waving high, see the sunset, see the sky. Who knew a simple page contained so much? Who can forget. My fingers have spoken the words of my heart, the fire has scorched its trail, the passion has left its mark. Now, I will leave the fire to warm my hands another day.

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Awakening

A deep and invisible sleep surrounds.
Virgin ignorance blinds the mind.
The need of Insight traps within
The beauty of the soul.

Rising sun, sets fire to the earth,
Illuminating all that was
Shadowed by the night. From the dust
Rise Monarch Butterflies.

Soaring on the power of
Their words, They approach the sleeping soul.
The subtle whisper of Their wings
Awakens the Bard within.

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Eyes

          Hold, I hear your eyes speak. They are a tongue you cannot silence. Secrets the mouth holds in, the eyes reveal. I hear that your heart stings with insecurity, and I hear the quarry in your soul. You have dug deep, searching for what the earth does not provide. Each moment one more shovel pierces deep. You thought maybe gold would fill the gap, or perhaps silver would do the trick. Put down your shovel, for I know what you seek, and you will not find it there. With every moment that your eyes are on the earth, you miss what grows around you. Did the trees plant themselves? Did the sea create itself? Who told the mountains where to rise? Who put the longing in your eyes? Now do you see? The earth did not do this, the earth could not. Your eyes tell me that doubt freezes your tongue. Do not doubt for long, the wings of time beat fast and do not wait for hesitant souls. My heart waits for you on the horizon. The Sun has risen and will set again. When night falls it will be too late. Safety lies in the daylight, safety lies in the Sun. Your eyes have spoken, theyu have said much. Now close them for a moment, and listen to your heart.

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M-T-A-R-I

          they say i aM a singing giant who sips silver tea from the golden cup of exIstence; they say i have patchwork wings Sown from the loom of the gaurdian moon; they say my eyes are the Color of the invisible sEa and my fingers sing the songs of Lost atlantis and speak the words of the ancient winds, but they know Little of who i am. i am no giAnt, i have no wings, my eyes are visible and my my fiNgers can neither sing nor spEak. i am simply a soaring bird whOse beak of brass chips away at the foUndations of the silver songs of the Sane.

          many moons have passed since The moment tHe corroded melodies escaped frOm the hidden tongUes of the silent seas, many moons have eclipsed the sight of falling Grains. now, little remains. few shall witness the arrival of the sHips from across the ancient towers of The primal fears. now the pain of realization must keep the shining tearS from the faces of the free.

          o wise crows, keep the onslAught of the cascading diamoNds far from the depths of my eternal haven, keep the razor jaws of the raven far from my Door.

          holding tight to the Rods of bias the wolves shed salty tears of promise, gripping in their steely jAws the burdeN of the feast. golden crowns lay screaming in the Dust as the earth shakes with the pain of simplicity. my mind no longer recalls the sweet syrup Of the wise gardens of regret. i am encoMpassed by the lies of reality.

          the tyrants of yearning now rule In the land, their golden claws of justice rebuild the fallen hands of the turbulent past. though the winds Destroy the sails of the ships of the undersea plateau, the golden kettle of knowledge steams still. reElingfrom the blow, the land quivers in its agony, the stony grapes crash to their watery graves. seeds of renewAl torment the reality of cosmic words. no longer Shall the wolves weep.

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Forever Fly

          A familiar smell, a well worn path, a sound that you have heard so many times. A spark is kindled inside, in a place that has been numbed by monotony. Then you realize that the faces you have seen so many times have souls behind their eyes. They see you like you see them, and you regret not seeing them for who you really are. All those words exchanged and smiles returned have carved an eternal place inside of you. The place is not a void though. They have not taken a piece away, but have added part of themselves. Your interaction has refined who you are, and influenced who they have become. There is so much you have done. Nine months seemed to slip by so quickly, and at times you wanted it to completely disappear. Those faces you have grown to appreciate and even love, seemed so inconvenient and frustrating at times. In time, those harsh memories will be forgotten and you will remember them for who they really are. That spot in your heart will warm, the only chill is one of regret, that you did not always say the right words, do the right thing, or give enough of yourself. That too will pass and you will smile. So much has happened in only a breath of time. It is time to breathe again. You wonder how you let it pass, how you let it slip so fast. Time's skin is waxed by our own blindess. Time's wings beat in a silent fury. Now you sit and watch as this time that has been built by you and built you in return, stretches its wings. You smile as it leaves your hand and climbs toward the clouds. You know this bird will forever fly.

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Truth?

If truth is but a bitter drink that remedies the mind,
Then falsehood is a sweetened curse, a sip of poisoned wine.
Truth gives sight.
Falsehood blinds.
A half-truth cannot be,
For a single drop of falsehood turns truth to trickery.

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Sunday's Flock

I saw them file to their cushioned seats and stand
All unaware of the power of their patient Host.
Then, at the piano's soft command
They sat to take their weekly Sunday post,
Each corspe with eyes set on words above.
They opened tired jaws to offer a song
With dying words of life and hope and love.
With the stench of death screaming of something wrong,
The one on stage invited them to stand.
And stand they did, in lethargic unison,
With empty eyes ahead and rigid hands.
An empty flock, in a tired empty song.

And I thought the Good Shepherd must surely weep,
At the sight of such blind and stubborn sheep.

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Discernment

When Wyoming's Shepard fell to the wolves of hate,
It seemes that Heaven's too was burned and beat.
For his sheep escaped to open Hell's tearless gate,
Parading painted signs of love's retreat.
They refused to bathe his broken bones in tears,
Instead they came with hate and holy lies.
An action not of faith, but one of fear,
Betraying their Savior with heartless hell-born cries.
How could his sheep be so cold and hard and terse?
Had they never read Romans five eight?
Had they never heard John's anthem verse?
How could they portray the God of love with hate?

Then I realize, with my hands upon their icy throats,
That I am not the one to discern sheep from goats.

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Driven

I saw some grains of sand
Being driven by the wind
I saw them dart and weave
And scatter on the dune,
As if some Tryant's hand
Lashed them from behind.
And without relent or reprieve
He drove them to a ruin.
And there I saw some sneak
Through a narrow door and rest.
With no hand to push them on
They lay silent in the dust.

These sands, I thought, did speak
Of Life, and Death, now gone.

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The World Beneath the Oak

The field in which the oak tree grew
Was strewn with stones and straw and sun.
Nothing rich or soft or rare was there,
Only the work his hands had done,
The browning stalks his scythe had sliced
And the salty sweat from his father's brow.
Though bareness was all there was to see
None of this seemed to matter now.
And as he crept inside the oak,
Lying in its hollowed base,
He began to dream of things unseen,
Things foreign to his sun-browned face.
He dreamt of Lapis Lazuli skies
Stretching above glassy seas
That strecthed so endlessly beneath.
He dreamt of shimmerinf snow-capped trees,
And water rushing from mountain cliffs
That crushed all things that would not yield.
All of this he dreamt, and more
Beneath the oak in the barren field.

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The Waiting Party

          The black streets glistened beneath the street lights as the thick rain pounded the asphalt. The air buzzed with sound and water as cars sped past the three silent citizens awaiting the public bus. It was 8:42 now, bus 1104 should have arrived two minutes ago. An elderly gentleman checked his watch, shook his head and mumbled a few scattered words to himself. Less than a minute later he did it again, the exact same actions in the exact same sequence. It soon became a ritual, on every half minute, he would check, shake, and mumble. A younger man stood behind him, their thrity year difference in age seemed to have no effect on the level of their agitation. The younger man violently forced his hand through his thick black hair that glistened like the streets. Then he shook his head in agitiation and pounded his toes heavily on the sidewalk as if the bus would hear the summons and suddenly appear with a warm apology escaping its awkwardly opening doors. As the two men practiced their waiting rituals, the third in the party was patiently folding a scrap of yellowed paper into a small and frail boat. The boy, upon finishing his masterpiece, hurried to the rushing current of water at the edge of his road and sent his boat careening into the watery blackness of the night. He strained his eyes and bent over as far as he could as he watched his boat drift away into a fate that his eyes would never see. The incessant rain soaked and pounded his scraggled hair as he escaped the shelter of the bus stop to watch his creation sail away. As soon as the boat was out of his sight, he hopped up and scampered away to find the driest piece of paper he could. As he disappeared beyond the advertisements and glass, the old man began to lift his watch , and the the young man's hand began slipping though his hair.

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Tony

          Tony sat heavily on the cast iron bench, his thick eyebrows sheltering a desperate gaze. Layers and layers of gray and tattered clothes disguised his thinning frame. Hands folded neatly, he watched the suits and dresses hurry past. Lonely wisps of hair blew around his exposed ears, left to the mercy of a merciless New York wind. His twisting gray beard hid his lips, that were drawn tightly in a determined line. Even though he did not know what it was he was committed to, he was committed to making it known. He knew that the minds atop the collars and golden bands did not know of his company's collapse last spring. They did not know that he had seen Paris, or the Sphinx. They had know idea that he had read Joyce and Milton, and that he could qoute Frost's more famous works. They hardly knew he existed. They did not see a living soul. They saw a failure, a parasite on society. As he thought these things, Tony's eyes began to melt. Each eye squeezed proud shame. His tough skin drank the salty drops, and not an eye witnessed the tears that slipped into his beard. The tears were his alone. Tony's shoulders dropped, and his hands relaxed. He pulled his fraying blanket more tightly around him, sighed softly, and waited for what might come.

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Walking Past

          I saw him from a distance, walking steadily towards me, eyes fixed intently ahead and hands comfortable and free beside him. And then his eyes fell upon me, the sole intruder on his sidewalk. Hands went taught and fumbled for a pocket or a loop or any edge on which to cling. Eyes began to dart sharply and suddenly, the empty lot to his right became surprisingly interesting. My gaze followed his, wondering what incredible event I was missing. Whatever he saw, I did not. An old newspaper? Surely he could not read it from here. A blue Ford Escort? Surely he had seen one of those before. Soon he too became bored with the scene and his darting eyes, desperate for anything but me, swerved left. His head and shoulders lifted as if he needed a better view, or perhaps to remind me that he was sure of who he was, or maybe to convince himself of that. Nothing to the left, nothing to the right, and straight ahead coming dangerously close to me, he soon discovered something about his shoes that must have been truly fascinating, for his eyes would not leave them. I too looked at his shoes, searching intently for something of interest, but nothing seemed to be amiss or noteworthy. His hands however did interest me. They were on a desperate search for something deep inside his pockets, deep enough to require heavy digging. Or maybe they felt confined and needed a way out. Whatever it was they dug with a force that kept his elbows straight and shoulders high, with chin reaching for his chest. As we passed he lost interest in his shoes and his hands resolved their search so suddenly it seemed as if he had just been roused from a restless dream.
I looked back from a distance, walking steadily away, and saw eyes fixed intently ahead and hands comfortable and free beside him,
that is, until another came his way.

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