To Whom it May Concern:

  I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult.  I
Have decided that I would like to accept the responsibilities of an 8
year old again.  I want to go to McDonald's and think that it's a four star
restaurant.   I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make ripples with rocks.  I want to think M&M's are better than money because you
can eat them.  I want to lie under a big oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer's day.
  I want to return to a time when life was simple; when all you knew
Were colours, multiplication tables and nursery rhymes, but that didn't
Bother you, because you didn't know what you didn't know, and you didn't
care. All you knew was to be happy because you were blissfully unaware
of all the things that should make you worried or upset.  I want to think the
world is fair; that everyone is honest and good.  I want to believe that
anything is possible.  I want to live simple again.
I don't want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, and depressing news.  I don't want to keep wondering how to
survive: more days in the month than there is money in the bank, doctor bills, gossip, illness, and the loss of loved ones.
I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word,
truth, justice, peace, dreams, the imagination, mankind, and making
angels in the snow.
So...here is my chequebook, my car keys, my credit card bills and
my 401K statements. I am officially resigning from adulthood.  If you wish
to discuss this further, you will have to catch me first, because "Tag! You're it"!!

Blind Anger

I have a friend who is one of the few people in the world that I would die for.  I care for him more then I have cared about then anyone else I have ever seen.  He is a soul mate to me.  I have only know him for a year but it seems like a lifetime.  He is addicted to drugs and trying to get free.  I would love for him to clean up his life and he had cleaned it up for a long time.  Yet his friends use him for money.  He received a loan and he spent 5000 in a month.  That’s a lot of money and a lot of spending.  It went to a trip he was told he would have a friend pay him back.  Never going to happen.  I was talking to him later tonight and he was clean good and comprehensive.  I was going to give him a ride home on my way home and when he was walking down the street I knew something was wrong.  Coke.  The drug of his choice.  I could not believe it.  I even wanted to get back together with him.  I don’t know why, every time I get close to him I end up getting more hurt in the end.  I have stayed with him for nights when his grandma died, and also when a friend died too.  Just to be there just to make sure he is ok.  I don’t know what more I can do. All I ask is for help.  I wish I could get him away from the drugs, I don’t know how I can.  One of his friends who he lives with in the same building I don’t think is helping.  I must get him away.  How do you break a friendship when neither wants it too end.  I don’t want to go to his funeral although one day I will.  I want to talk about him; I care for him very much.  Please I don’t want to see him die and all I see is his death.  He has a great ability to survive and be great in what he does.  Yet he continues to hurt himself.  He is even talking about escorting again.  How can you have so little respect for your body and be able to still make it to the next day.  I know he has tried committing suicide and I tell him it is not the way out.  I don’t think he will every be able to get it out of his head.  For his parents I hope you look at the good in your son he could have bin a great man but got caught in the wrong crowed.  There is only so much I want to do but don’t want to destroy what he wants to have.  It hertz me but I try to work threw the pain.  I am thankful that I don’t have to deal him all the time.  I know there is more I can do, but if I get too close then I might get dragged down too.  I would give my life to save his but I don’t want to waste my life to try and save his.  For you my true love and the person who I will always care about deeply please get cleaned up.  November 1999

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