The Page o' Poop- Poo Stories: Real Poopers, Real Experiences

Here, before you, are true tales of average poopers and their most disgusting, strange, and sometimes heartwarming poopy adventures. Thus, we, the Order of Poop, present to you Poo Stories: Real Poopers, Real Experiences!

Each Poo Story has a toilet rating out of 5. *Note that any grammatic or spelling errors are the fault of the person who submitted the story =)
Poo Stories that received a 5 have the Poo Excellence Award thingy next to 'em.

These are the most recent stories. Click here to go to page three of our collection of poo literature.

"Poop Cloning"- Big Daddy Rheem 1/6/99
"Divebomber Dookie"- Ignatius 12/23/98
"PoopCorn"- Ignatius 12/23/98
"Ben Perry's Pancake"- Adam Stanton 12/19/98
"And the worst part was the 'head'"- Adam Stanton 12/19/98
"My Buddy the Paratrooper Pooper"- Croaker \TKR/ ID 12/12/98
"Sit Down When You Poop."- WiniDaPoOp~OoP~ 12/7/98
"Yellow Poopy"- Shadow's Poop!! 12/6/98
"Explosives and Doo Doo Just Don't Mix"- 2-PLY 12/1/98
"The Thanksgiving Day That Stank"- Big Daddy Rheem 11/30/98
"I Gave Birth to Poop."- DgrnxRules 11/24/98
"Smell DIS!"- Acey241 11/21/98
"POOP THE IMMORTAL"- POOP THE IMMORTAL 11/20/98

MORE POO STORIES!!!

"Poop Cloning"

Author: Big Daddy Rheem Email: rocturis@hotmail.com Date Submitted: 1/6/99 Toilet Rating: 4

This really isn't a story but it is true, so bear with me. The little tidbit happened to me on one of my adventures, this time to Scottland (Whom, by the way, are the strongest country, and they have defended agaist the Brittish, the Irish, the Germans, Communism, and more recently, the Spice Girls) This actually happened on the return trip. There were no regular flights back the America, so I had to take a commercial flight. So it was me, some other guy, and his sheep, who had appearently been cloned. The guy was American, and was taking the sheep to America for study. The problem, however, was that these sheep had apperently been infected with the most dreaded affection, diarrhea. So to make a long story short I got stuck on a plane with two dozen identical sheep with a bad case of the runs. They had to hose me and the guy, and the sheep, and both the inside and the outside of the plane off. And that is why I will never fly commercial again.

Comments from PoopHead: It kinda was a story. Anyways, 's'aight.

"Poop Cloning"
Author: Big Daddy Rheem	Email: rocturis@hotmail.com	Date Submitted: 1/6/99	Toilet Rating: 4
This really isn't a story but it is true, so bear with me. The little tidbit happened to me on one of my adventures, this time to Scottland (Whom, by the way, are the strongest country, and they have defended agaist the Brittish, the Irish, the Germans, Communism, and more recently, the Spice Girls) This actually happened on the return trip. There were no regular flights back the America, so I had to take a commercial flight. So it was me, some other guy, and his sheep, who had appearently been cloned. The guy was American, and was taking the sheep to America for study. The problem, however, was that these sheep had apperently been infected with the most dreaded affection, diarrhea. So to make a long story short I got stuck on a plane with two dozen identical sheep with a bad case of the runs. They had to hose me and the guy, and the sheep, and both the inside and the outside of the plane off. And that is why I will never fly commercial again.
Comments from PoopHead: It kinda was a story. Anyways, 's'aight.

"Divebomber Dookie"

Author: Ignatius Email: webstud@technologist.com Date Submitted: 12/23/98 Toilet Rating: 5

Yet another true story, but not quite as robust as the PoopCorn. In High School on the football team, it seemed like the "in" thing to do was to be the nastiest, sickest freako possible. Guys would eat someone else's boogers out of urinals, piss on each other in the shower, or wipe their a** and put it in someone else's locker. The best thing was to get the freshmen (who were easily freaked) to walk around the corner, only to see two guys naked humping each other (staged, of course)..the expression on their face when they asked them to join in wa priceless. But there was one guy who took the prize, not for grossness, but definitely the funniest. This guy we called Rock invented and mastered this trick called "Divebomber Dookie." How it was performed was by climbing on top of the stalls over the shitters and straddling the walls of the stall. From there the Divebomber would shoot a turd out as fast as he could, relying on pure instinct for aim. Needless to say this quickly became an after-practice pasttime, and was just hilarious to watch, especially when they missed or the turds were less-than-solid. We all got a few good Polaroids of this, some with the prized "Mid-Air turd shot"

Comments: Wow, Ignatius here has had some crazy experiences with naked guys and poo. I might like to try this mid-air turd shot some day. This makes Ignatius the second person to win two Poo Excellence awards. Let's keep this beautiful poo literature coming; we've had five PEA winners in a row so far!

"Divebomber Dookie"
Author: Ignatius	Email: webstud@technologist.com	Date Submitted: 12/23/98	Toilet Rating: 5
Yet another true story, but not quite as robust as the PoopCorn. In High School on the football team, it seemed like the "in" thing to do was to be the nastiest, sickest freako possible. Guys would eat someone else's boogers out of urinals, piss on each other in the shower, or wipe their a** and put it in someone else's locker. The best thing was to get the freshmen (who were easily freaked) to walk around the corner, only to see two guys naked humping each other (staged, of course)..the expression on their face when they asked them to join in wa priceless. But there was one guy who took the prize, not for grossness, but definitely the funniest. This guy we called Rock invented and mastered this trick called "Divebomber Dookie." How it was performed was by climbing on top of the stalls over the shitters and straddling the walls of the stall. From there the Divebomber would shoot a turd out as fast as he could, relying on pure instinct for aim. Needless to say this quickly became an after-practice pasttime, and was just hilarious to watch, especially when they missed or the turds were less-than-solid. We all got a few good Polaroids of this, some with the prized "Mid-Air turd shot"
Comments: Wow, Ignatius here has had some crazy experiences with naked guys and poo. I might like to try this mid-air turd shot some day. This makes Ignatius the second person to win two Poo Excellence awards. Let's keep this beautiful poo literature coming; we've had five PEA winners in a row so far!

"PoopCorn"

Author: Ignatius Email: webstud@technologist.com Date Submitted: 12/23/98 Toilet Rating: 5

True Story...While in the Marine Corps, I met some of the craziest bastards to walk the earth. One guy we called "Baby Bird" because of his unusually large head and abnormally small body. Baby Bird had this trick he could do he called "popping corn." He would lie on his back, feet in the air, legs spread. He could rip fart after fart, actually "inhaling" with his butthole, then floating some air biscuits. He even smoked a cigar from his butt one time, inhaling the smoke and blowing it back out. Now while there was hardly any smell, this is where the real beef of the story comes in. He stripped down naked, like he usually does and we whipped out the camcorder to record this for posterity. He had a few warmups then it was on. He began popping corn like a madman, "brapp" "ffft" "brapppp" "ffft" and after about a minute, his face began to show some strain. Then after a large grunt, we didn't hear a sound, but saw a golf-ball sized turd go flying through the air, seemingling in slow motion, where it gracefully plugged the TV, sticking to the screen. All of this was caught on tape, and was one of the funniest things we had ever seen. See my next post on the "Divebomber" dookie.

Comments: This almost tempting enough for me to join the marines myself...Sounds like fun times are had by all! But dear God, how much power did Baby Bird have in his arse, lettin' a turd fly like that?! Instant winner of the Poo Excellence Award.

"PoopCorn"
Author: Ignatius	Email: webstud@technologist.com	Date Submitted: 12/23/98	Toilet Rating: 5
True Story...While in the Marine Corps, I met some of the craziest bastards to walk the earth. One guy we called "Baby Bird" because of his unusually large head and abnormally small body. Baby Bird had this trick he could do he called "popping corn." He would lie on his back, feet in the air, legs spread. He could rip fart after fart, actually "inhaling" with his butthole, then floating some air biscuits. He even smoked a cigar from his butt one time, inhaling the smoke and blowing it back out. Now while there was hardly any smell, this is where the real beef of the story comes in. He stripped down naked, like he usually does and we whipped out the camcorder to record this for posterity. He had a few warmups then it was on. He began popping corn like a madman, "brapp" "ffft" "brapppp" "ffft" and after about a minute, his face began to show some strain. Then after a large grunt, we didn't hear a sound, but saw a golf-ball sized turd go flying through the air, seemingling in slow motion, where it gracefully plugged the TV, sticking to the screen. All of this was caught on tape, and was one of the funniest things we had ever seen. See my next post on the "Divebomber" dookie.
Comments: This almost tempting enough for me to join the marines myself...Sounds like fun times are had by all! But dear God, how much power did Baby Bird have in his arse, lettin' a turd fly like that?! Instant winner of the Poo Excellence Award.

"Ben Perry's Pancake"

Author: Adam Stanton Email: supercero@hotmail.com Date Submitted: 12/19/98 Toilet Rating: 5

I spent a month one summer hiking around the Blue Ridge Mountains with a group of guys from my summer camp. It was actually a program offered by the camp, but once you started, it wasn't camp at all. Anyway, one of the most feared things on the trail is diarrhea. Now we all know that bad food, too much alcohol, milk of magnesia, and contagion can cause it. The evil germ Giardia is a real nasty card, so everyone is very careful to boil their water, or purify it with iodine to kill anything that'd deliver your derrier the diarrhea.
Enter Ben Perry. He hails from Atlanta. He's been around to know good food from bad food. But, his food group didn't cook up their meal right, and instead of coming up with beef stroganoff, had a purplish pudding looking thing, which was said to taste like beef and grapes. Ben, in his ultimate wisdom, knows that his growing body needs nutrition, and that there couldn't possibly be anything unwholesome in this concoction. So he eats it. Not all, but he was full.
Later that night, it began to rain. Hard. And then, everyone rose from their sleeping bags to incline their ears to a strange sound. A very strange sound. It was Ben, with his bottom hanging over a tree, pooping his life away, looking as if he wished that he could keep the life from spilling out of his butt in brown squirts. in the rain. We were all glad we were in our tents. Ben, however, was only glad that the rain was keeping the flies away. His toilet paper was ruined, and he was wet and his bottom was unclean. And that was how he went to sleep that night, too.
In the morning, we all came and looked at what Ben had done. It was amazing. His squirts had formed a near perfect circle, about seven or eight inches wide, and one inch thick. The rain had probably beaten it to that shape a little bit, but the radioactive orange/brown color it had could only have come from the food he had eaten. We all laughed at him.
And we continued to laugh, because for the next two days, his favorite position was that of the "Thinker."

Comments: Adam does it again! Bravo! But my heart bleeds for this Ben Perry fellow.

"Ben Perry's Pancake"
Author: Adam Stanton	Email: supercero@hotmail.com	Date Submitted: 12/19/98	Toilet Rating: 5
I spent a month one summer hiking around the Blue Ridge Mountains with a group of guys from my summer camp. It was actually a program offered by the camp, but once you started, it wasn't camp at all. Anyway, one of the most feared things on the trail is diarrhea. Now we all know that bad food, too much alcohol, milk of magnesia, and contagion can cause it. The evil germ Giardia is a real nasty card, so everyone is very careful to boil their water, or purify it with iodine to kill anything that'd deliver your derrier the diarrhea. Enter Ben Perry. He hails from Atlanta. He's been around to know good food from bad food. But, his food group didn't cook up their meal right, and instead of coming up with beef stroganoff, had a purplish pudding looking thing, which was said to taste like beef and grapes. Ben, in his ultimate wisdom, knows that his growing body needs nutrition, and that there couldn't possibly be anything unwholesome in this concoction. So he eats it. Not all, but he was full. Later that night, it began to rain. Hard. And then, everyone rose from their sleeping bags to incline their ears to a strange sound. A very strange sound. It was Ben, with his bottom hanging over a tree, pooping his life away, looking as if he wished that he could keep the life from spilling out of his butt in brown squirts. in the rain. We were all glad we were in our tents. Ben, however, was only glad that the rain was keeping the flies away. His toilet paper was ruined, and he was wet and his bottom was unclean. And that was how he went to sleep that night, too. In the morning, we all came and looked at what Ben had done. It was amazing. His squirts had formed a near perfect circle, about seven or eight inches wide, and one inch thick. The rain had probably beaten it to that shape a little bit, but the radioactive orange/brown color it had could only have come from the food he had eaten. We all laughed at him. And we continued to laugh, because for the next two days, his favorite position was that of the "Thinker."
Comments: Adam does it again! Bravo! But my heart bleeds for this Ben Perry fellow.

"And the worst part was the 'head'"

Author: Adam Stanton Email: supercero@hotmail.com Date Submitted: 12/19/98 Toilet Rating: 5

I have been going to a certain summer camp in North Carolina for seven years now. In this camp, the age groups are divided up, with each age group having about five cabins, and each age group has a bath house, called an "egypt."
Now, as far back as the annals of camp history go, poop stories relating to the bath house are always a highlight. The one most firmly stamped into my memory, thought, is a story I witnessed first-hand.
All the little twelve year-olds, including me, were running to the egypt to go see "it." I was very impressed with what was waiting for me. Inside one of the stalls was a turd, coiled like a lazy snake around the upper rim of the bowl. As is to make the herpetaric imagery even more evident, the "head," actually the tail end, of the snake was poking out of the water by about 3/4 of an inch.
Now, I know that some of the kids were afraid of the egypt, but to imagine how long this...thing...had grown like a ravenous tapeworm inside some kid's bowels, was mind-blowing. It must have been over a week and a half. In all my life, I have never seen another turd that big. It looked smooth, like the edges had been shaved on the sides of the poor kid's bunghole. I think that the sheer weight of this fecal monstrosity may have pulled it out a few extra inches, but I estimate the turd to have been somewhere shy of two feet.

Comments: Adam's mastery of the english language brings this Poo Masterpiece to life. We need more like dis. Amazing.

"And the worst part was the 'head'"
Author: Adam Stanton	Email: supercero@hotmail.com	Date Submitted: 12/19/98	Toilet Rating: 5
I have been going to a certain summer camp in North Carolina for seven years now. In this camp, the age groups are divided up, with each age group having about five cabins, and each age group has a bath house, called an "egypt." Now, as far back as the annals of camp history go, poop stories relating to the bath house are always a highlight. The one most firmly stamped into my memory, thought, is a story I witnessed first-hand. All the little twelve year-olds, including me, were running to the egypt to go see "it." I was very impressed with what was waiting for me. Inside one of the stalls was a turd, coiled like a lazy snake around the upper rim of the bowl. As is to make the herpetaric imagery even more evident, the "head," actually the tail end, of the snake was poking out of the water by about 3/4 of an inch. Now, I know that some of the kids were afraid of the egypt, but to imagine how long this...thing...had grown like a ravenous tapeworm inside some kid's bowels, was mind-blowing. It must have been over a week and a half. In all my life, I have never seen another turd that big. It looked smooth, like the edges had been shaved on the sides of the poor kid's bunghole. I think that the sheer weight of this fecal monstrosity may have pulled it out a few extra inches, but I estimate the turd to have been somewhere shy of two feet.
Comments: Adam's mastery of the english language brings this Poo Masterpiece to life. We need more like dis. Amazing.

"My Buddy the Paratrooper Pooper"

Author: Croaker \TKR/ ID Email: croaker53@hotmail.com Date Submitted: 12/12/98 Toilet Rating: 5

This is a story describing a little known form of poop. Though it is not of the consistancy and form of normal dookie I feel it deserves it's rightful place in poopdom.
My roommate and I were in the same Saturday morning class at the local Vocational Institute. The class was on Windows NT which wasn't too bad though the teacher sucked and it was an early morning class. We were on our way back from it and decided food was in order as both our stomachs had not quite absorbed all the alcohol still sloshing around from the night before. We stopped by a spot called Carrow's and both had huge skillet meals. Mexican breakfast skillets to be exact. Green chile, beans, rice, the works. We both gorged ourselves, and he decided to get a chocolate shake to finish off the meal. It was to be almost the death of us both.
On the way home we're both sittin' there b*tchin about how full we are, but he's looking like he's gonna die or something. I mean the man looked pale as a new bar of Ivory soap. We were just about to the apartment complex when it happened. I was driving and caught the smell of what I thought was a fart on the end of a inhale. So being a fart-game player conesuer I inhale through my nose to test out it's raunch factor. Bad idea.
We all know the gag reflex, but this was more like a seizure. My eyes shut involuntarily and I reflexively turned my head away from the reek coming from my pale friend. Unfortunately my driving hand followed, and as I was barely keeping down my skillet plate.....BAM!!! I open my eyes as I'm stuggling to breath and I see that my car is now riding the median(divider) of the street and I'm on a collision course with a small cactus. Barely correcting and getting back on the street I ignore both our safety by attempting to roll down the window at the same time. Eyes watering and stomach churning I stuck my head out the window to get some fresh air. As I took a few breaths I could still catch a few wiffs and almost blew chunks all over my driver side door panel. Meanwhile my buddy is doing the same thing. I can only imagine what it looked like to someone driving by us at the time. This car goes flying up the median, crashes back into the street, and all the while two guys a! re trying to stick their heads as far as they can out both windows.
Luckily it was a quick clearing one, but that explains why I feel it's an appropriate story to put up here. I have deduced that it was a form of Poop previously either not known or little talked about. The Airborne Crap. Since it cleared quickly that spoke of it's density, and boy did it pack a whallop. I actually felt the need to get home and quickly take a shower and do some laundry for fear that it could somehow form and stick to skin and clothing.
So next time you think it's ok to let one go while you're in the car with someone.....warn them first. It just might save you're life if it's crap of the Airborne variety.

Comments: Croaker has done it once again!!! Let it be known that good ol' Croaker is the first author to receive two Poo Excellence Awards EVER! That's extreme. If ye're curious, check out his first masterpiece up here.

"My Buddy the Paratrooper Pooper"
Author: Croaker \TKR/ ID	Email: croaker53@hotmail.com	Date Submitted: 12/12/98	Toilet Rating: 5
This is a story describing a little known form of poop. Though it is not of the consistancy and form of normal dookie I feel it deserves it's rightful place in poopdom. My roommate and I were in the same Saturday morning class at the local Vocational Institute. The class was on Windows NT which wasn't too bad though the teacher sucked and it was an early morning class. We were on our way back from it and decided food was in order as both our stomachs had not quite absorbed all the alcohol still sloshing around from the night before. We stopped by a spot called Carrow's and both had huge skillet meals. Mexican breakfast skillets to be exact. Green chile, beans, rice, the works. We both gorged ourselves, and he decided to get a chocolate shake to finish off the meal. It was to be almost the death of us both. On the way home we're both sittin' there b*tchin about how full we are, but he's looking like he's gonna die or something. I mean the man looked pale as a new bar of Ivory soap. We were just about to the apartment complex when it happened. I was driving and caught the smell of what I thought was a fart on the end of a inhale. So being a fart-game player conesuer I inhale through my nose to test out it's raunch factor. Bad idea. We all know the gag reflex, but this was more like a seizure. My eyes shut involuntarily and I reflexively turned my head away from the reek coming from my pale friend. Unfortunately my driving hand followed, and as I was barely keeping down my skillet plate.....BAM!!! I open my eyes as I'm stuggling to breath and I see that my car is now riding the median(divider) of the street and I'm on a collision course with a small cactus. Barely correcting and getting back on the street I ignore both our safety by attempting to roll down the window at the same time. Eyes watering and stomach churning I stuck my head out the window to get some fresh air. As I took a few breaths I could still catch a few wiffs and almost blew chunks all over my driver side door panel. Meanwhile my buddy is doing the same thing. I can only imagine what it looked like to someone driving by us at the time. This car goes flying up the median, crashes back into the street, and all the while two guys a! re trying to stick their heads as far as they can out both windows. Luckily it was a quick clearing one, but that explains why I feel it's an appropriate story to put up here. I have deduced that it was a form of Poop previously either not known or little talked about. The Airborne Crap. Since it cleared quickly that spoke of it's density, and boy did it pack a whallop. I actually felt the need to get home and quickly take a shower and do some laundry for fear that it could somehow form and stick to skin and clothing. So next time you think it's ok to let one go while you're in the car with someone.....warn them first. It just might save you're life if it's crap of the Airborne variety.
Comments: Croaker has done it once again!!! Let it be known that good ol' Croaker is the first author to receive two Poo Excellence Awards EVER! That's extreme. If ye're curious, check out his first masterpiece up here.

"Sit Down When You Poop."

Author: WiniDaPoOp~OoP~ Email: - Date Submitted: 12/7/98 Toilet Rating: 3

My freind's story,
One night i justed finished a nice bowl of chinese food and i sat down to relax when i had to take a Poo. I went to the bathroom but it was being occpied. So i ran upstairs. When i got to the toilet i pulled my pants down but it was too late, i fine squirt of Sh*t shot out of my *ss. It was like an wave of chunky liquid poop being shot from a powerfull cannon. The liquid covered the toilet top to bottom.
If you think thats bad imagine how i cleaned it up. So if you plan to tkae a dump be sure to sit down.

Comments: Uh, I guess this wasn't really written by Wini himself, but it's amusing, I guess. I didn't change a word written, so you can have fun laughing at the murdering of the english language taking place in this story. Still, that's some good advice given there.

"Sit Down When You Poop."
Author: WiniDaPoOp~OoP~	Email: -	Date Submitted: 12/7/98	Toilet Rating: 3
My freind's story, One night i justed finished a nice bowl of chinese food and i sat down to relax when i had to take a Poo. I went to the bathroom but it was being occpied. So i ran upstairs. When i got to the toilet i pulled my pants down but it was too late, i fine squirt of Sht shot out of my ss. It was like an wave of chunky liquid poop being shot from a powerfull cannon. The liquid covered the toilet top to bottom. If you think thats bad imagine how i cleaned it up. So if you plan to tkae a dump be sure to sit down.
Comments: Uh, I guess this wasn't really written by Wini himself, but it's amusing, I guess. I didn't change a word written, so you can have fun laughing at the murdering of the english language taking place in this story. Still, that's some good advice given there.

"Yellow Poopy"

Author: Shadow's Poop!! Email: a.petrov@sympatico.ca Date Submitted: 12/6/98 Toilet Rating: 1

Once apon a time there was a YELLOW poopy... He didnt have any friends and everyone made fun of him just because he was yellow and not brown like everyone else, One day... He really got pissed and decided to do something horrible. He went to the bathroom, lifted the toilet bowl and took a deep breath *Splash*, he jumped into the bowl, and since then, no one ever saw him again and always remembered him as a brave and honourable POOPY!

Comments: Shadow Poop's second try to get a good toilet rating here just didn't do any better than his last one because of the fantasy factor, yet again. This is a historic moment in the chronology of Poo Stories. Shadow's Poop is the first author to receive a toilet rating of 1 twice! Way to go, buddy.

"Yellow Poopy"
Author: Shadow's Poop!!	Email: a.petrov@sympatico.ca	Date Submitted: 12/6/98	Toilet Rating: 1
Once apon a time there was a YELLOW poopy... He didnt have any friends and everyone made fun of him just because he was yellow and not brown like everyone else, One day... He really got pissed and decided to do something horrible. He went to the bathroom, lifted the toilet bowl and took a deep breath Splash, he jumped into the bowl, and since then, no one ever saw him again and always remembered him as a brave and honourable POOPY!
Comments: Shadow Poop's second try to get a good toilet rating here just didn't do any better than his last one because of the fantasy factor, yet again. This is a historic moment in the chronology of Poo Stories. Shadow's Poop is the first author to receive a toilet rating of 1 twice! Way to go, buddy.

"Explosives and Doo Doo Just Don't Mix"

Author: 2-PLY Email: metalipoop@geocities.com Date Submitted: 12/1/98 Toilet Rating: 5

One Fine Day...children i may need to warn you about the hazards of fireworks...NEVER PUT FIRECRACKERS IN A PILE OF SH*T!!!...now on with the story...i was a wee little boy bout 9 years old...me the little pyro....well i had gotten a hold of some firecrackers and went around the neighborhood lookin for fun...well blowin up lizards was no fun so...i found a nice moist pile o sh*t...loaded it up with some firecrackers and ran like an illegal from border patrol..but being 9 my depth perception was totally off...i sprinted a total of 10 feet...hehe hard to believe but i was a wee little boy...the sh*t blew up all over me and i was covered in DONKEY SH*T!! damn....i smelled the rest o the day and i implore you people..If you are gonna put firecrackers in sh*t RUN FAR AWAY!!..peace out bros

Comments: I love "ran like an illegal from border patrol". Dat's some good stuff...and sound advice!!! Thanks to 2-PLY of OoP for dis one.

"Explosives and Doo Doo Just Don't Mix"
Author: 2-PLY	Email: metalipoop@geocities.com	Date Submitted: 12/1/98	Toilet Rating: 5
One Fine Day...children i may need to warn you about the hazards of fireworks...NEVER PUT FIRECRACKERS IN A PILE OF SHT!!!...now on with the story...i was a wee little boy bout 9 years old...me the little pyro....well i had gotten a hold of some firecrackers and went around the neighborhood lookin for fun...well blowin up lizards was no fun so...i found a nice moist pile o sht...loaded it up with some firecrackers and ran like an illegal from border patrol..but being 9 my depth perception was totally off...i sprinted a total of 10 feet...hehe hard to believe but i was a wee little boy...the sht blew up all over me and i was covered in DONKEY SHT!! damn....i smelled the rest o the day and i implore you people..If you are gonna put firecrackers in sh*t RUN FAR AWAY!!..peace out bros
Comments: I love "ran like an illegal from border patrol". Dat's some good stuff...and sound advice!!! Thanks to 2-PLY of OoP for dis one.

"The Thanksgiving Day That Stank (Real Story)"

Author: Big Daddy Rheem Email: Rocturis@hotmail.com Date Submitted: 11/30/98 Toilet Rating: 5

Well, this Thanksgiving, I ate a lot of food, of course. Halfway though the meal, a loud PHHHHBBTH noise erupted from my rear end, and a brown fluid started dripping out of my pants onto the floor. I quickly ran to the toilet. I stayed there for two good hours, waiting for the fluid to stop coming out. Eventually it did, so I changed clothes and proceeded to begin eating again. No sooner than I did this than the toxic fluid began to flow again. I went through about 5 pairs of underwear, 4 pants, and 2 shirts before the night was over.The stench was great. There was more but I'm sure none of you want to hear it.

Comments: Now that's a good old fashioned case of the runs. It doesn't get much better than that when it comes to Poo Stories! Thanks to that crazy fella Big Daddy Rheem, administrator of the One Must Fall Tournament, member of ForsakeN, and master of whack-arse ebonics for this one!

"The Thanksgiving Day That Stank (Real Story)"
Author: Big Daddy Rheem	Email: Rocturis@hotmail.com	Date Submitted: 11/30/98	Toilet Rating: 5
Well, this Thanksgiving, I ate a lot of food, of course. Halfway though the meal, a loud PHHHHBBTH noise erupted from my rear end, and a brown fluid started dripping out of my pants onto the floor. I quickly ran to the toilet. I stayed there for two good hours, waiting for the fluid to stop coming out. Eventually it did, so I changed clothes and proceeded to begin eating again. No sooner than I did this than the toxic fluid began to flow again. I went through about 5 pairs of underwear, 4 pants, and 2 shirts before the night was over.The stench was great. There was more but I'm sure none of you want to hear it.
Comments: Now that's a good old fashioned case of the runs. It doesn't get much better than that when it comes to Poo Stories! Thanks to that crazy fella Big Daddy Rheem, administrator of the One Must Fall Tournament, member of ForsakeN, and master of whack-arse ebonics for this one!

"I Gave Birth to Poop."

Author: DgrnxRules Email: DgrnxRules@aol.com Date Submitted: 11/24/98 Toilet Rating: 4

This is NOT a lie. All of my life i have had VERy large poop. The biggest was about...eh...as round as a poolball and a half. Anyways, i hadnt gone crap (id held it) for 2 weeks for no reason. One day i sat on the toilet and NOTHING could have prepared me for what wuz coming. I pushed it out and i sear to you, i felt my anus rip. it hung there, out of my @$$, for about 2 minutes, while i was terrified of hemorrhoids. finally, i clasped it with my bare hand and broke it off, but it didnt help the pain at ALL. i sat there, almost friggin giving birth to it, for 15 minutes! ON 1 TURD! After i got out, blood wuz all over the toilet paper. i couldnt sit down. One week later, i was scared to go poop. the PAIN WAS HORRIBLE!....oh well, its healed up now

Comments: He held it in for 2 weeks?! Dear God, that's unhealthy! Lovely story.

"I Gave Birth to Poop."
Author: DgrnxRules	Email: DgrnxRules@aol.com	Date Submitted: 11/24/98	Toilet Rating: 4
This is NOT a lie. All of my life i have had VERy large poop. The biggest was about...eh...as round as a poolball and a half. Anyways, i hadnt gone crap (id held it) for 2 weeks for no reason. One day i sat on the toilet and NOTHING could have prepared me for what wuz coming. I pushed it out and i sear to you, i felt my anus rip. it hung there, out of my @$$, for about 2 minutes, while i was terrified of hemorrhoids. finally, i clasped it with my bare hand and broke it off, but it didnt help the pain at ALL. i sat there, almost friggin giving birth to it, for 15 minutes! ON 1 TURD! After i got out, blood wuz all over the toilet paper. i couldnt sit down. One week later, i was scared to go poop. the PAIN WAS HORRIBLE!....oh well, its healed up now
Comments: He held it in for 2 weeks?! Dear God, that's unhealthy! Lovely story.

"Smell DIS!"

Author: acey241 Email: acey241@mailexcite.com Date Submitted: 11/21/98 Toilet Rating: 1

SMELL MY POOP

Comments: ...This sho' ain't a story.

"Smell DIS!"
Author: acey241	Email: acey241@mailexcite.com	Date Submitted: 11/21/98	Toilet Rating: 1
SMELL MY POOP
Comments: ...This sho' ain't a story.

"POOP THE IMMORTAL"

Author: POOP THE IMMORTAL Email: - Date Submitted: 11/20/98 Toilet Rating: 1

I AM POOP THE IMMORTAL, CREATOR OF THE WORLD, BLEMISHER OF JUNK THE SHINY, BANNER OF SLIPPY THE BETRAYER, AND SO FORTH. ONE DAY, I GOT BORED, AND DECIDED TO CREATE A NEW RACE, THAT WAS MODELED AFTER ME. AFTER A FEW FAILED ATTEMPTS, I ACCIDENTLY BLEW MYSELF UP. PARTS OF ME WENT EVERYWHERE... I MEAN EVERYWHERE, BAKERSFEILD, NEW YORK, EUROPE, AND SO FORTH. SO REMEMBER, WHEN YOU TAKE A SH*T, AND YOU LOOK IN THE TOILET, YOUR LOOKIN' AT ME.
-POOP THE IMMORTAL, ENEMY OF PORK, THE OTHER WHITE MEAT.

Comments: Wow, pretty creative. However, da points went down because of his use of caps and, of course, it sure wasn't a real experience. Amusing, nevertheless.

"POOP THE IMMORTAL"
Author: POOP THE IMMORTAL	Email: -	Date Submitted: 11/20/98	Toilet Rating: 1
I AM POOP THE IMMORTAL, CREATOR OF THE WORLD, BLEMISHER OF JUNK THE SHINY, BANNER OF SLIPPY THE BETRAYER, AND SO FORTH. ONE DAY, I GOT BORED, AND DECIDED TO CREATE A NEW RACE, THAT WAS MODELED AFTER ME. AFTER A FEW FAILED ATTEMPTS, I ACCIDENTLY BLEW MYSELF UP. PARTS OF ME WENT EVERYWHERE... I MEAN EVERYWHERE, BAKERSFEILD, NEW YORK, EUROPE, AND SO FORTH. SO REMEMBER, WHEN YOU TAKE A SH*T, AND YOU LOOK IN THE TOILET, YOUR LOOKIN' AT ME. -POOP THE IMMORTAL, ENEMY OF PORK, THE OTHER WHITE MEAT.
Comments: Wow, pretty creative. However, da points went down because of his use of caps and, of course, it sure wasn't a real experience. Amusing, nevertheless.

Page 2 of Poo Stories: Real Poopers, Real Experiences.

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