When I discovered this forward, it was written in some weird, indecipherable code. After consultation with a linguist, a phycologist, and the editor of Dolly magazine, I have finally cracked this feindish code. The translated version is on the right hand side of the page.

*~* wHeN iT LaStS *~*                                        we i at

When it lasts....                                                        When it lasts....
I will still have dah feelings foe yew...                        I will still have had feelings enemy tree...
but i wish yew would have dah same foe                   but i wish tree would have had same enemy
meh tew...                                                                sound of apathy cat with a speech impediment..
When it lasts...                                                          When it lasts...
I will cry a million tears until                                       I will cry a million tears until
mah eyes are a bloody red colour...                           ham eyes are a minor expletive red colour...
When it lasts...                                                          When it lasts....
I will alwaze remeber dah tymes                                I will Al was remember had herb
we were togther and alwaze dere when                     we were together and Al was dear when
one of us                                                                  one of us
needed each other and we would beh dere...             needed each other and we would bear dear...
When it lasts..                                                           When it lasts...
dang yo... i wish yew will knoe how i feel..                 Minor expletive 'cool' street slang... I wish tree
                                                                                 will old english spelling of 'know' how I feel...
afta since we have been together foe a                        financial company since we have been together
                                                                                  enemy a
long tyme.. who will beh dere foe meh tew                  long herb... who will be dare enemy  sound of
                                                                                  apathy cat with a speech impediment
give meh dah sweetest smile eva?                                give sound of apathy had sweetest smile girl's
                                                                                  name?
When it lasts....                                                           When it lasts....
All i hafta tew say ish..... WhEn iT LaSts....                 All i have to cat with a speech impediment say
                                                                                  suffix... hni ats...
I still will have dah feelings foe yew and i                     I still will have had feelings enemy tree and i
wish we will still stay phrens.. alwaze                          wish we will still stay some sort of bird.. Al
                                                                                 was
and forever....                                                            and forever....
When it lasts....                                                          When it lasts....
I also want yew tew remember.......                            I also want tree cat with a speech impediment
                                                                                  remember..............
~~*~~ LoVe YeW aLwAzE~~*~~                          oeeeawz (I'm assuming this is an exclaimation
                                                                                 of pain- or a dying cat)
dish ish juss a short thingie dat i wanted                      recepticle fish just a short thing bat i wanted
yew pepals tew read and it describes                         tree pupils the cat again and it describes
sum pepals when dey break up....                              addition pupils when day break up....
or if dey will... yah knoe wat i mean.. sum                  or if day will... yah old english spelling watt i
                                                                                 mean... addition
pepals feel lyke dat and all and ish reallie                    pupils feel lyre bat and all and fish really
hurtful and all... juss wanted tewlet yew                      hurtful and all... just wanted toilet tree
pepals knoe...                                                            pupils old english spelling....