When you're criticizing others                                     When you're criticizing others
And are finding here and there                                    And are having lots of fun
A fault or two to speak of                                          And some smug, self righteous bastard
Or a weakness you can't bear;                                   Says that that's not how it's done
When you're blaming someone's weakness                 When they're blaming you of weakness
Or accusing some of pelf...                                         Using stupid words like 'pelf'...
It's time that you went out                                           Just point out it's impossible
To walk around yourself.                                            To walk around yourself.

There are lots of human failures                                   There are lots of human failures
In the average of us all                                                 In the average of us all
And lots of grave shortcomings                                    They're the ones with mullet hairdos
In the short ones and the tall;                                       And nude pin-ups on the wall;
But when we think of evils                                           And their necessary evils
Men should lay upon the shelves,                                 Are the cheap booze on the shelves,
It's time we all went out                                               And when whacked out on plonk they try
To take a walk around ourselves                                 To walk around themselves.

We need so often in this life                                          We need so often in this life
This balancing of scales;                                                To think a little more;
This seeing how much in us wins                                    You can't be in two places
And how much in us fails.                                              At the same time- that's for sure.
But before you judge another                                        So before you start a forward
Just to lay him on the shelf...                                          To show how PC you are,
It would be a splendid plan                                            Stop trying to walk around yourself
To take a walk around yourself.                                     And BUY A FRIKKEN CAR!