Chapter 6 James stood frozen in the bathroom running his finger over the monogram. It was just a coincidence. Josh was not the same JC that had been calling him. There will probably hundreds of guys with those initials. A knock on the door made him drop the towel to the bathroom counter. "Hey, James, you okay in there?" James cleared his throat trying to find his suddenly missing voice. "I'm fine. Be right out." James picked up the fallen towel and placed it back on the towel rack. Taking a deep breath, he decided what he would do. Get out of here as soon as possible. He left the bathroom, and made his way back to Josh's room. Grabbing his clothes, he hurriedly dressed. Grabbing his glasses from the night stand, he walked over to the mirror and brushed his fingers through his hair. Leaving the bedroom, he made his way into the living room looking for Josh. He found him in the kitchen drinking a cup of coffee. "Sleep well?" josh asked motioning to the empty cup next to the coffee maker. "Yeah. I usually don't drink that much. Thanks for letting me crash here." James poured a cup of coffee even though every nerve in his body wanted him to run out the door. If he let that urge control him, he knew josh would worry, so he would drink some coffee and then make a quick exit. James and Josh made small talk as each sipped their coffee. josh was definitely not a morning person. In fact, he looked like he was still half asleep. James finished his coffee, and put the cup in the sink. "I've got to go. Thanks again for letting me take your bed." "No problem. Call me. Maybe we can get together for drinks at the bar. Maybe even brave Chris joining us." James stopped at the door laughing. "Yeah, I'll call you later on this week." Opening the door, he walked through closing it behind him quickly. Leaning against it, he took a deep breath. What if Josh and JC were the same person? It was just a coincidence. It had to be. Josh spent the rest of the weekend happy. He watched some games on television, and when Chris had called to meet him for drinks he went without a second thought. However that happiness soon faded, when he hadn't heard from James by Monday night. He had said he would call him to set something up. It had only been three days, but he thought they had begun something that night on his balcony. Something he had hoped would turn into something amazing. Had he read James wrong? Had he been too forward again and scared him again? By Wednesday, he had started to replay Friday night over and over in his head. Every word. Every touch. What had caused James to not call him? He had tried calling James, but once again all he got was the answering machine. By Thursday, he grew depressed. He had screwed up yet again, and this time it had been with a real great guy. Why couldn't he find someone nice, and stay with him? James had been perfect. He had the looks, the sweetness, and the goodness he was looking for in a man, but he had let his new found aggressiveness ruined that. Lance's fault. That is who had caused this change in him. Lance. It had been a couple of days since he had last thought of the sexy voiced phone sex operator. Maybe he needed to find a guy like Lance. Poring his third glass of wine for the night, he stared at the phone sitting next to him on the table. Looking out over the skyline, he sighed. He had promised himself that he wouldn't call Lance again. Talking to Lance is what got this whole thing started. Draining his glass, he sighed as he reached out for the phone stopping himself once he touched it with his fingers. Cursing he grabbed the phone in his hand. If he couldn't have James, he might as well talk to Lance. But there was this peculiar connection, Josh thought, as he cradled the phone. Even as his fingers dialed he felt  dejection wash over him. A simple sinkhole that he’d done something unforgivable enough for James to run. He had to remind himself that he’d been a gentleman that night, choosing to stay on the couch instead of in the bed where lust would have reigned. James had been half naked, erect and willing. And he had been the bigger man, so to speak, leaving him alone. “Hello?” Josh sighed. It was Lance with his voice resonating through the line. And for the first time since calling that number, Josh didn’t care about his conscience. He just wanted the ache in his chest to go away. He needed to hear Lance’s voice. Even if it was just for sex. “Hey Lance.” There was a silence on the other end -- a pause that crashed into Josh’s ears curiously. “Lance?” “Uh, hey. JC. Hey.” It was awkwardness. It was tense. It was not at all the chipper, sex dripped tone he was used to. Josh blinked down at the couch, worried a curse was falling over him. Maybe an invisible black cloud that he couldn’t see. How the fuck did a guy who got PAID to talk to him act different too? First James, now Lance. Yes, Josh decided, it was a curse, and the wretchedness he’d hoped would disperse just grew stronger. “Everything okay?” Josh ventured. “Um. Yeah. I’m sorry. Yeah.” Josh could hear it. He could hear the unusual tone. “Maybe I should let you go,” he offered. On the other end of the phone, James had his eyes pressed together tightly -- the cord of his headset wrapped around his finger, cutting off circulation. He focused on JC’s voice, really listened. His heart slammed into him as he connected the voice with those bright blue eyes -- and that tall hard body. The dark hair and smile that etched into him. The hope. JC was Josh. James felt his stomach lurch with nausea, wondering how the hell he was supposed to get out of this, knowing a simple “I can’t talk” would not be acceptable. Josh would know. He would figure it all out. Justin was staring at him from his own cubby with a bored look as he muttered his obscenities into his line for a paid customer. He rolled a ball back and forth across the desk, and James pleaded with him for some kind of help. He didn’t know what kind, only that things were desperate. Cutting off a call would be suicide. “JC, how are you tonight?” James tried, fucking hard, to keep his voice low down, to keep that porn sound flowing even when his nerves were a jumbled mess. Justin was giving him a quizzical look, holding up one finger to signal his call was nearly done. “I’m okay,” Josh replied. “Lonely. A little sad.” James dropped his head to his desk, pressing his forehead to the cool steel, understanding a hell of a lot. Sad. Josh was sad. He was curious if it was because of him -- because he hadn’t dared call after seeing those initials taunting him. “Sad?” he asked, resisting the urge to clear his throat. “Sad why? Wanna talk about it?” Half of his body shook with realization that JC could very well spill his heartache out over James -- thinking he was telling Lance. It was fucked, James thought as he curled and uncurled his fist beside him. This job, trying to meet people. The Josh he’d been considering giving himself to being the JC on the line. Insanity came to mind. Justin pressed his hands against James’ neck and whispered. “What’s up?” James pulled his head up and rubbed his hand over his face in despair. He grabbed a pen and jotted broken notes to Justin -- to the person who’d listened to him over the week talk about Josh, and his suspicions, and his torment at life’s cruel twist of fate. “No shit!” Justin gasped as he rolled his chair over. He waved at James to put Josh on hold. “Hey JC?” “Yeah?” “Hold on a sec. I think I got a little surprise for you.” James was reaching, pulling at straws that he wasn’t sure were even there. Just to stall. To see what he could come up with on a moment’s notice. Because James was sure of one thing -- if he had to talk dirty to JC knowing it was really Josh, he’d lose it. Placing his headset down, he stared at Justin hopefully. “Well?” he hissed. “What the FUCK do I do now?” Justin smiled and rubbed his hands together. “Threesome. That way, I can talk, you can be kind of quiet, and the man gets off.” James knew his eyes were bulging grotesquely -- and the mere thought was atrocious. He’d done it dozens of times before, only with Justin, but always with strange voices. Never once had he been made to speak with someone he knew. Least of all someone he cared about. “I don’t think I can do that, J! I mean it.” Panic washed over him in sheets and he jiggled his knee nervously. “I like him, man. I really like him.” He grabbed his water from his desk and took a long sip, hoping the little jolts of uneasiness would go away and leave him in peace. But when Justin grabbed his headset and placed it over his ears, he groaned. It was over. “Hey, JC? This is Justin.” Josh sprang up on the other end, his heart jumping, his skin suddenly clammy. Justin? Who the hell? “Where’s Lance?” “Naked. Next to me.” Justin purred. “I’m touching his body right now, JC. His arms. His lips. Tell me what you want me to do to him.” Josh tensed -- unsure if he liked the idea however full of shit it may have been.  Still, the silky voice that hummed across the line was affecting him, and he felt his dick jolt with excitement. He scowled at his weakness, but Jesus, he was so horny, so lonely. “You like this idea, JC? Hmm? What do you want me to do to him? Kiss him? Suck his cock? Hmm? We’re all yours.” The growl was primitive from Josh’s lips, feral -- untamed. He unzipped his pants and pulled his cock out, staring angrily at it. Hating that he couldn’t have a normal sex life -- wishing that James had worked out. He’d been willing to wait for him. There was just no hope is sight as he began to stroke himself, fed up with the feel of his hand. “Tell me, Justin. Tell me what Lance tastes like.” The words spilled from his lips smoothly, achingly. He listened as Justin garbled words, as Lance moaned, as some twisted fantasy fled toward him over the line. As his hand moved harder, and faster. As he heard Lance cry out in the back. And Josh let himself come to those noises, those strangers wherever they were, doing whatever they were doing. Just moving to empty words and an orgasm that left him sadder than he’d been in weeks. “Tell Lance I said good-bye,” Josh said curtly, and he hung up. Hoping Lance understood him. Good-bye meant no more. This latest call had left him shaken, disgusted. As he stood, trying to catch his breath, he stared out at the skyline, recalling the feel of James in his arms, on his lips. And Josh wanted to cry. “Thanks,” James said as the call disconnected. “I just couldn’t.” Justin shrugged as he rolled his chair back to his own cubicle. “So wanna talk about it?” “What’s left to say, man? I’m the phone prostitute, he’s the phone john. We’re apparently both a tad fucked in the head.” He snorted bitterly and picked at the sheets of his notebook. “I liked him, J. I really did.” Justin threw his headset to the desk and stood up, yanking Lance to his feet. “Let’s go for a coffee break. You need to take a breather.” Lance nodded as tears welled behind his eyes, and he kept his gaze lowered as Justin lead him out of the office to the lobby. “No one’s ever gonna love me,” James sighed as he leaned against the vending machine. “Seriously. I mean, I can’t tell anyone what I do, but man, the money. I need the money.” Justin scoured his pockets for change before digging into James’ for more. “Look, you’re a great guy. You know that, I know that, hell, everyone knows it.” He smiled, producing enough for two cups of cocoa. “If this Josh guy likes you, he’ll understand.” “Hah! Fat chance. He’s big time, Justin.” He accepted the warm cup of hot chocolate and sipped it carefully. “An architect dude. That’s like money. Social etiquette and shit.” “He hangs with Chris you said,” Justin countered, nodding toward James. “No offense, I met Chris. He ain‘t big time.”  Justin watched Lance smirk a bit. “Come on. Call him up. Talk to him.” James looked up, lost and hurt. “I’m scared,” he admitted, blinking back the tears. “I like him a lot. More than I wanted to.” “Then fucking call him. Tomorrow.” Justin grinned. “Don’t make me go back to your computer and pull his number up, because you know I will.” “I do know you will,” James sighed. “Fine. I’ll call him.” “That’s a boy. Now. Let’s get back to work. We got money to make and orgasms to create. Ooh baby. Yeah, that’s it. Fuck me harder!” James collapsed in an overstressed fit of laughter. “Man, what would I do without you?” Justin shrugged. “Be a virgin still?” James blushed and punched him in the arm. “Oh, low blow!” “Yeah, we did that too.” Justin ran back to the office, a playful laugh echoing through the hallway. And James smiled. Having Justin encourage him was just what he needed. MTW 5 MENU MTW 7