BRC - Dungeon Chat - Project Management and D/s (August 16, 2000)

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Dungeon Chat

Project Management and D/s
Using the principles of Project Management to bring some clarity & specific goals

Dungeon Chat is held Wednesday Evenings 9-11 EST in the Dungeon @ Fantassia's Palace.
All are welcome with the understanding that we all have the right to disagree without being disagreeable.

(following text has been edited ~ foregoing greetings, etc.)

Aug 16 6:09:59 2000
gentleminx:
~ listening to the quiet sounds as they drift through the stillness and wondering who might show up for tonight's discussion ~

Aug 16 7:02:23 2000
gentleminx:
~curling up with a contented sigh into the warmth of the sofa, contemplating tonight's topic "Project Management and D/s" ~

Aug 16 7:08:24 2000
gentleminx:
~ tossing a few fragrant wood chips onto the fire, smiling as their fragrance permeates the room ~

Aug 16 7:11:50 2000
gentleminx:
~ thinking of Summer Vacations, kids back in School, and the 101 other things W/we all do each and everyday as i note that i am the only one here tonight! ~

Aug 16 7:13:00 2000
gentleminx:
~ grinning at the wide open Forum, the completely blank page before me as i contemplate tonight's topic ~

Aug 16 7:14:20 2000
gentleminx:
~ laughing softly. . .okay. . . just to give E/everyone that might read this later the "proper" focus of tonight's topic, i'll start with what it is NOT!. . . *g* ~

Aug 16 7:18:18 2000
gentleminx:
~ it is NOT a discussion of how to use the principles of Project Management, goal-setting, life management etc....to plan a "scene"....*g* what the focus is....is Y/you....Using the principles of Project Management to bring some clarity, some specific goals, to perhaps what you might have experience as only a seemingly vague wish such as .... "oh, i want a Master"....or "oh, I think I might enjoy being a Top" ~

Aug 16 7:30:54 2000
gentleminx:
~ Well....*s* knowing what you want and what your values are is a good place to start. As a matter of fact, getting clear on who you are and what you are is critical. Investing time in these two important steps will increase your possibility of finding what you seek in your D/s life. ~

Aug 16 7:34:02 2000
gentleminx:
~ So....i'll leave a few thoughts and questions here for you to ponder....and perhaps in the pondering, you will discover some new aspect or develop a greater depth of clarity regarding what is important for you in your D/s life....~

Aug 16 7:36:17 2000
LES IS MORE(m): Hello gentleminx

Aug 16 7:37:34 2000
LES IS MORE(m): it appears C C can not make it

Aug 16 7:37:46 2000
gentleminx:
~ please feel free to drop me an email at gentleminx@hotmail.com, or post your comments to the BRC's Forum at http://network54.com/Hide/Forum/55610~

Aug 16 7:38:19 2000
gentleminx: oh... *s*.... hello Sir... i hope You are well? And, CC is still out of town...

Aug 16 7:38:36 2000
LES IS MORE(m): what questions do you have perhaps I can help

Aug 16 7:39:19 2000
LES IS MORE(m): I am well minx

I hope you are the same

Aug 16 7:40:35 2000
gentleminx:
~ i am indeed Sir... *s* i was just wrapping up... i have enjoyed talking to myself of course though... *g* ~

Aug 16 7:41:40 2000
LES IS MORE(m): do not forget to save it for CC

Aug 16 7:43:06 2000
gentleminx:
~ will do!~

Aug 16 7:44:00 2000
LES IS MORE(m): minx
so you are wrapping it up

I take it there will be no discussion tonight

Aug 16 7:45:38 2000
gentleminx:
~ do You have some comments You wish to share?~

Aug 16 7:51:01 2000
LES IS MORE(m):

in planning a scene

first a discussion on what You as a DOM Want and what a sub wants
ask the sub how the scene should go in the sub's Mind
you let them know how the Scene should go from your end

if you're going to be the DOM and in charge
Know before you start
What you are going to do
How are you going to do it
How long are you going to do each part of the scene
WHEN should you stop

YOU are the DOM - your responsibility is to work this out

going in not knowing these thing can ruin the scene
cause the sub knows you are not sure of yourself
and that is not good

Aug 16 7:55:08 2000
gentleminx:
~ agreed Sir....and i have a question for You please....one of the interesting challenges of being sub....is that while one gives over control in their submission to a Dom/me....in my mind, that does not abdicate the sub's responsibility to insure that the scene, the relationship, etc....are meeting their D/s needs, goals etc....*more

Aug 16 7:57:31 2000
gentleminx:
~ what are Your thoughts on this possible paradox Sir? Do You work with Your submissives and explore their role and responsibilities in insuring their D/s needs, wants and desires are met? ~

Aug 16 7:58:02 2000
LES IS MORE(m): minx
normally that is what happens
the sub makes sure of those things

Many a time the scene while it appears to be a punishment
it is really a reward for how the subbie has behaved
the sub looks foward to it
wants it
needs it
and the DOM returns the gift of service the sub has given

Aug 16 8:02:00 2000
LES IS MORE(m): some times the scene is exploring the sub's limits

over time the sub has gained trust in the DOM
and will actually offer to perform or accept things they would not have months ago
FOR THE DOM
no other reason for doing it

Aug 16 8:04:24 2000
gentleminx:
~ Sir....it is my impression, that Your subs are fairly well versed....*s* for those subs just learning the ropes [please excuse the pun] :) what would You tell a newer submissive to do to help insure their D/s activities are meeting their needs?? What thought process, what checklist etc? ~

Aug 16 8:08:34 2000
LES IS MORE(m):
minx
first
at this time I do not have a sub
study under guidance from an accepted teacher or experienced sub
talking to other subs

too often dimdoms think they have all the answers on how a sub should be and how and what a sub should do
so be warned away from a DOM who wants to teach you
find one a sub recommends
in fact ask 3 different subs who are the best teachers sub or DOM
and go to them

Aug 16 8:13:24 2000
gentleminx:
~ good advice Sir.... *s*....i think we learn so much by example.... and talking to and observing subs that one trusts as well as values their opinions, is certainly a good way to learn quite a bit....i will add one thought....*g*....i have always heard this advice.... before you "buy" someone's opinion.... make sure it is an opinion that you wish to own.... ~

Aug 16 8:16:15 2000
LES IS MORE(m): that is why you ask several different subs
who the best teacher is you get a variety of opinions

sometimes the best is a sub sometimes it is a DOM

cause you know of other T\teachers you as a sub are not locked into learning from just one

Aug 16 8:18:47 2000
gentleminx:
~ Sir.... i know this has been a short discussion, but this little one has a touch of the flu.... may i ask if You have any other comments, thoughts You might wish to share tonight? *s* .... ~

Aug 16 8:19:52 2000
LES IS MORE(m): minx
no little one
if you are sick
go to bed and get well

Aug 16 8:22:00 2000
LES IS MORE(m): good night minx

give a hug to CC when you see her

Aug 16 8:23:02 2000
gentleminx:
~ Thank You Sir.... and as always.... i look forward to discussing another interesting topic with You soon.... be well this night.... *s* .... ~

Aug 16 8:23:51 2000
gentleminx:
~ will do.... on the hug for CC..... And thank You for participating tonight! ....~

Aug 16 8:24:49 2000
gentleminx:
~ Folks....CC will be back next week. i hope we can persuade her to recount some of her vacation adventures! ~

Aug 16 8:26:48 2000
gentleminx:
~ Quietly preparing to close the book on tonight's discussion....~
Folks....i'll leave you all with some thoughts and questions to ponder.... *s*

Aug 16 8:31:21 2000
gentleminx:

Think of your last vacation.

How much time, energy, and research did you invest in planning your vacation?

What did your vacation say about you, your goals and your values?

How did you measure the "success" of your vacation?

A lot of us invest a fair amount of time and energy into planning our vacation or our next car purchase or house purchase. Have you put a corresponding amount of time and research into your D/s life? If your answer is no, wanna give it a whirl and see what you come up with?

~ Some possible questions to consider ~

What are your values, both personal and D/s related?
What are your D/s goals?
What hopes, needs, wants and desires do you have for your D/s life?
Do you have D/s roadmap with both short and long term goals?
How will you know if you have "succeeded" in achieving your D/s goals?
How do you know if you are on-track with your goals?
Do you have a plan to re-evaluate your goals from time-to-time?
Do you have a plan to get back on track if you find you end up in a place that you don't want to be?
Were you surprised by what you discovered when you answered some or all of these questions?

For those of you who have already pondered these questions, did doing so help you? If so, how?

Aug 16 8:32:38 2000
gentleminx:
~ Night everyone!.....Turning out the lights and heading home ~

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