Wed Mar 1 7:37:01 2000
LES IS MORE(m): well from 69 to 76 I thought I was just a sick pervert that liked to spank girls and like to pinch and bite their nipples really hard

Wed Mar 1 7:37:57 2000
~Cyberotica-Chrysalis~: I know from personal experience that BDSM can have both positive and negative connotations in our lives. Tonight . . let's focus on that which has been good

Wed Mar 1 7:38:45 2000
{Sin's}ariel: well I have thought I was strange since I was about 6 until I was 29, Les...then I found out there were others like me...what a revelation that was! And I haven't looked back

Wed Mar 1 7:41:01 2000
LES IS MORE(m): it is one hell of a load off one's mind finding out you're not the only one and wonder of wonders there are opposites that want have done to them what you want to do

Wed Mar 1 7:41:33 2000
~Cyberotica-Chrysalis~: let me give you an example . . . it seems to me the more that I interact w/in the community I see more and more acceptance . . .

Wed Mar 1 7:43:05 2000
~Cyberotica-Chrysalis~: perhaps it is in sexual preference, in body acceptance . . . confidence to "be you" and knowing that that is okay

Wed Mar 1 7:43:13 2000
{Sin's}ariel: LES: yeah it is .. about blows your mind, in many respects. But at the same time, it opens an entire new vista to your life...full of doors that you had never dared open and now you can walk right through them without a care in the world

Wed Mar 1 7:45:00 2000
SteelBabe: I am more at ease with being what I am...in all parts of My life...

Wed Mar 1 7:45:05 2000
LES IS MORE(m): ariel and the things you find through those doors o lordy

Wed Mar 1 7:47:15 2000
~Phoenix*Rising~: ~listening~

Wed Mar 1 7:47:54 2000
~christy: CC invited me here tonight....*s*

Wed Mar 1 7:47:56 2000
Lotta Skull: thanks too the lifestyle W/we have learned how too be open with each other and also with others also we have learned to accept that everyone is different and unique in his or her interests and that's ok ...in a deeper sense have learned too love the person for who they are and not what they do ...

Wed Mar 1 7:47:59 2000
~Cyberotica-Chrysalis~: there were a couple that discussing the healing aspects that bdsm has had on their lives . . .

Wed Mar 1 7:48:39 2000
{Sin's}ariel: LES: ~grins~ O Lordy doesn't even BEGIN to describe it..~chuckles~ and as CC said, the acceptance of who you are...not only what excites yiu, but in how you look, and the way you carry yourself . . . the judgemental barriers don't seem to be there.

for myself, just being able to talk, is more than I could have expected...to do so openly and without fear of ridicule or disgust simply amazes me .. the friendliness, openness and warmth is unlike anything I have ever found before

Wed Mar 1 7:50:56 2000
LES IS MORE(m): ariel it does make a difference in one's personality
like for the first time in your life you have permission to be who you are not who you pretend to be

Wed Mar 1 7:51:24 2000
~Cyberotica-Chrysalis~: think of those that have been in an abusive relationship . . . and to discover that There is room to trust, limits and respect . . .

Wed Mar 1 7:53:04 2000
~christy: wow... what is the positive effect has bdsm has on my life...well, first, if it wasn't for this, I would have never met the most wonderful Master....I have completely submitted to Him...I have become whole with Him...He is my other half...*s*

Wed Mar 1 7:53:28 2000
{Sin's}ariel: LES: exactly...for the first time in your life, you look in the mirror and the reflection you see, didn't hiding what you are

CC...~nodding~ btdt and learning to trust again, is a big step...taken in baby steps

Wed Mar 1 7:54:28 2000
~Cyberotica-Chrysalis~: there was also another interesting opinion offered up by a Dom . . . in regards to abuse . . . and "Dom/mes" . . . that too often "new Dom/me wannabes" do not wish to be mentored . . their egos are often too fragile to admit they do not know it all . .

and then he also pondered the possibilities that "abusers" are untrained Dom/mes . . and the "victim" is a submissive that doesn't know how to get what she/he wants in a healthy manner so there is the disfunctionality

Wed Mar 1 7:55:56 2000
þaris: I would agree to that statement about new Dom/mes and ego's I think They can be very unhealthy about pride...

Wed Mar 1 7:57:00 2000
heartwood: *nodding in agreement*

Wed Mar 1 7:57:33 2000
{Sin's}ariel: christy: you are whole within yourself, hun...if He makes your life fuller, then that's wonderful...but to need someone to make you feel whole can be asking for trouble..

my Master accentuates my life, but he is not the center of it . . . just slightly to the left ~grin~

Wed Mar 1 7:58:15 2000
LES IS MORE(m): C C I agree with the fact that all too many newbies are much too sensitive about being DOM

so unsure of themselves they can not actually be confident and relaxed

but there are some that are just plain mean all the training in the world will never teach them there are limits and common sense and consent

Wed Mar 1 7:59:01 2000
þaris: yes... very close to center . . . but it is dangerous to let anyone...Anyone be your whole life..

Wed Mar 1 7:59:04 2000
SteelBabe: thinking W/we left the positive stuff . . . smiling..

Wed Mar 1 7:59:19 2000
{Sin's}ariel: ~hugs~ hiya, kitty and yes, I agree about the "new Dom/mes" They haven't yet learned that egos are to be left outside the door . . . they are useless entities that really serve no purpose

Wed Mar 1 7:59:55 2000
~Cyberotica-Chrysalis~: that is true within and without the lifestyle . . I would LOVE to say the lifestyle is free of it . .but it isn't . . it is more masked by those that do not understand the depth of responsibility, etc

Wed Mar 1 8:00:57 2000
þaris: Les I wouldn't call those Dom/mes.. not at all... it is supposed to be about mutual respect...

Wed Mar 1 8:01:36 2000
~Cyberotica-Chrysalis~: *nods to Steel Babe* back on track here . . .

I have found a wonderful group of people that are not only accepting but more than willing to assist in mentoring . . .

In that atmosphere it is easy to ask for help in learning . . and for that I treasure them

Wed Mar 1 8:01:59 2000
LES IS MORE(m): paris I was being polite

normally I call them dim doms

Wed Mar 1 8:02:14 2000
þaris: Some are able to hide within the lifestyle however.. I don't know if there are more Ego-ridden people in the lifestyle . . . percentage wise.. but I think the S&M aspect allows Them to hide better

Wed Mar 1 8:03:02 2000
~Phoenix*Rising~: Although still learning, two things stand out for me. I was told to read and learn before getting involved in anything. And to observe and talk. I have been on both sides in this exploration. I think it is not just the Dom/mes who need to learn, but also the submissives. My difficulties on the submissive side have been with ones that want a submissive with no thoughts of their own. I feel this would be wrong.

Wed Mar 1 8:03:43 2000
LES IS MORE(m): paris only in ct/vt

in rt they are found out quickly and no sub will go near them

Wed Mar 1 8:04:18 2000
SteelBabe: I have found it is possible not only to accept people for what they are...but a greater ..higher plane of love . . . for them . . . the way I think two people were meant to experience each other's souls when we were created...*S*

Wed Mar 1 8:04:45 2000
þaris: other than my Master I haven't met any Doms real time

Wed Mar 1 8:05:29 2000
LES IS MORE(m): Phoenix

I agree that is why I have My hp as a file of links to bdsm info

it is linked to My name in all the bdsm chat rooms I go to

hint, hint for newbies

Wed Mar 1 8:06:29 2000
{Sin's}ariel: I agree completely, Phoenix . . . Both need to read and learn . . . and in my own case, at any rate, I am well liked in my group simply BECAUSE I have opinions and thoughts of my own and not afraid to say no, or to speak my mind..

Les, most are found out quickly, but there are a few that slip in and out

Wed Mar 1 8:06:33 2000
~Cyberotica-Chrysalis~: Self-promotion LES IS MORE??? *lol* it IS a source of good information . . .

Wed Mar 1 8:07:46 2000
~Phoenix*Rising~: Les is More, I have followed your links and have it marked. I have found it quite informative. As I have the new site that CC has posted along with others I have found. Also the daytime discussions as well as lurking here on Wednesday night. ~S~

Wed Mar 1 8:08:05 2000
~Cyberotica-Chrysalis~: for those that have just come in recently . .

My turn for promotion:

Wed Mar 1 8:10:37 2000
SteelBabe: laughs at CC and LES..

Wed Mar 1 8:11:23 2000
~Cyberotica-Chrysalis~: I think the difference I have seen in going public in groups and to some of my rt nilla friends has been acceptance on both parts . . . ~ soft chuckle ~ though some of the nillas are saying TMI!!!

Wed Mar 1 8:11:40 2000
{Sin's}ariel: ~chuckles softly at the plugs being posted~

Wed Mar 1 8:12:10 2000
{Sin's}ariel: CC: TMI???

Wed Mar 1 8:12:54 2000
~Cyberotica-Chrysalis~: awe C'mon Steel Babe!! There are way too many sites that proclaim bdsm and are little more than porn sites . . *grins a bit* the BRC is taking the high road, I hope, in establishing a good resource center

Wed Mar 1 8:13:47 2000
~Phoenix*Rising~: I prefer the sites that talk about the relationship and the communication. the spiritual side of the D/s relationship.

Wed Mar 1 8:14:48 2000
heartwood: Good evening A/all. It's been a pleasure listening and learning. Forgive me for not being able to contribute. Farewell.

Wed Mar 1 8:15:11 2000
~Cyberotica-Chrysalis~: TMI ~ too much information!! *grins*

at any rate . .another thing that I find very heartening . . is the "body acceptance" . . . while many w/ in our group are drop dead gorgeous . . there are others from a nilla point of view are way less than a "10".

Genuine people in bdsm, while we appreciate traditional beauty, have also learned to look deeper . . .

Wed Mar 1 8:15:17 2000
SteelBabe: CC . . . They are wonderful sites . . .*L* You All are just so cute about it . . *G*

Phoenix..So do I...it is nothing..without the spiritual side...

Wed Mar 1 8:16:10 2000
~Cyberotica-Chrysalis~ [heartwood]: nighters heartwood . . always good to see you

Wed Mar 1 8:17:25 2000
heartwood: L/ladies, Y/you are ALL 10s in my book! ~gone~

Wed Mar 1 8:17:48 2000
{Sin's}ariel: CC agreed the "body acceptance" is one of the best things I have found...again, while appreciating true beauty, those of us that aren't "svelte and sleek" are just as loved...the package may not be as prettily wrapped, but the inner gift is still treasured as much...the important places matter..

Wed Mar 1 8:18:25 2000
~Phoenix*Rising~: That for me is what the attraction is. Anything else that works is gravy, I think.

Wed Mar 1 8:19:50 2000
~Cyberotica-Chrysalis~: ariel ~ it is that realization that is so very awesome . . . but have you considered how that works for Dom/mes as well?

Wed Mar 1 8:20:30 2000
{Sin's}ariel: ~smiles~ nannite, heartwood Phonix: That's it in a nutshell...all else is gravy...the emotional bond is the important thing..the spirituality and depth of the bond..the trust building and given...the responsibility and surrender..the soul searching...~realizes she's babbling and shuts up~

Wed Mar 1 8:22:24 2000
{Sin's}ariel: CC: yep...the Dom/me has just as much, if not more..they have the responsibility not only for themselves, but the one that has given themselves to them..that has to be amazing.. I can only imagine..

Wed Mar 1 8:23:21 2000
~Cyberotica-Chrysalis~: Phoenix Rising ~ there is SO much . . . out here and while D/s has been my private way for a long time w/a pinch of SM *grinning* going "public" oh . .three years back has opened all kinds of doors . . . and new knowledge in which I find not only a hunger ... but also that which satisfies that hunger

Wed Mar 1 8:26:16 2000
~Cyberotica-Chrysalis~: those that have issues w/either gender identification . . and the courage to talk about or do something about it . . . it is wonderful to see the support they are given . . or trans/gendered . . . or those that have been shells w/self esteem issues . . .to see them bloom with self-confidence and realize that submission is neither abusive or weak is really awesome

Wed Mar 1 8:28:07 2000
~Cyberotica-Chrysalis~: to realize the power that that acceptance has for many that w/in the community had not found that

Wed Mar 1 8:28:56 2000
~Phoenix*Rising~: ~Cyberotica-Chrysalis~, I know that I have just started to scratch the surface. What I see is what I was looking for with the D/s being put into words and actions in the people I have been meeting. With instruction manuals, so to speak. And very explicit ones at that. I was introduced to Fan's 6 months ago. Only in the past 3 or 4 months have I even realized what I was introduced to. And I know I am not anywhere near ready yet for real intense immersion.

Wed Mar 1 8:31:40 2000
~Cyberotica-Chrysalis~: there are so many versions . . and chapters that there are almost flavors for everyone.

CC: . . . and as always . . . have fun and play safe!

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