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Play Partners!
How do you feel about multiples or monogamous relationships?
Dungeon Chat is held Wednesday Evenings 9-11 EST in the Dungeon @ Fantassia's Palace.
All are welcome with the understanding that we all have the right to disagree without being disagreeable.
(following text has been edited ~ foregoing greetings, etc.)
Wed Feb 9 7:07:36 2000
~Cyberotica-Chrysalis~: evening A/all . . . showing and "lurking" ~ lil grin ~
Wed Feb 9 7:09:11 2000
~Cyberotica-Chrysalis~: Tonight the subject is "Play Partners" . . . *lil sigh* there are so many different "flavors" . . . from what we see on the web one would think that everyone has a gazillion partners . . now is this true or fiction??
(dispensing of caps etc) sorry . . fingers are tired . . .
Wed Feb 9 7:10:02 2000
~Cyberotica-Chrysalis~: there is no "right" or "wrong" . . .just a matter of perspective and personal choice . . .
but I would like to ask a few questions and get some feed back
Wed Feb 9 7:10:52 2000
TheConfessor: I can only speak for Myself here. *G* W/we were lucky enough to make the transition from V/t to R/T!
Wed Feb 9 7:11:31 2000
LES IS MORE(m): in Rt one that is fully out and praticeing BDSM every chance they can may be able to handle MORE then Three but it is not uncommon for one who is out but working for a living to have two
I think MORE then that would pose scheduleing problems
Wed Feb 9 7:11:44 2000
~Cyberotica-Chrysalis~: is it a foregone conclusion that if one has a Master/Mistress that there will be multiple subs and partners?
Wed Feb 9 7:12:12 2000
TheConfessor: But then, there are a TON of "wanna-bes" out there so I think that the norm is see how big One can build His/Her harem.
Wed Feb 9 7:12:48 2000
~Cyberotica-Chrysalis~: But Les Is More . . . is monogamy w/in the lifestyle something that is rare?
Wed Feb 9 7:13:48 2000
TheConfessor: Absolutely not, CC. It was known and agreed on WAY before W/we went r/t that they would be the ONLY ones in My life!
Wed Feb 9 7:14:31 2000
LES IS MORE(m): C C it is not a forgone conclusion but Many a ct sub and even an rt sub has found out that the one she/he thought was true to only them was getting some on the side regularly or even once in while
Wed Feb 9 7:14:33 2000
~Cyberotica-Chrysalis~: (just a reminder *S*) Tonights topic: Play Partners ~ monogamous or multiple
Please come on in and share your thoughts ~ and keep non-topic conversation private ~ thanks
Wed Feb 9 7:14:53 2000
TheConfessor: How about "Tri-nogomous"? *LMAO*
Wed Feb 9 7:15:07 2000
mikyi{KZK}: *nodding agreeing with Master More on that one*
Wed Feb 9 7:15:52 2000
~Cyberotica-Chrysalis~: Les Is More . . .doesn't that sort of defy the trust and honesty issues that are so necessary?
Wed Feb 9 7:15:53 2000
LES IS MORE(m): it is supposed to be for normal vanilla to be mon non a gu mas but over 60 precent have cheated
Wed Feb 9 7:17:00 2000
TheConfessor: And it's "Master/Mistress"s and "subs" that will "cheat" that give A/all a bad name as well as an attitude.
Wed Feb 9 7:17:32 2000
Wolf: CC~ as for as the web goes.I don't know . it's just typing.... in R/T
we My subbie and I have on occasion. had others with us. very few .and not
very often
Wed Feb 9 7:17:44 2000
~Cyberotica-Chrysalis~: Les Is More . . . I am not saying that is it mandatory (like that would fly) but I certainly know at least a few couples that while they enjoy many of the lifestyle attributes . . "sharing" is not one of them
Wed Feb 9 7:18:15 2000
LES IS MORE(m): a True DOM who knows him her self will up front warn subs they are not about to plow just one field and that is a hell of a lot MORE honest then the ones caught playing ding a ling with some other ding a ling
Wed Feb 9 7:18:37 2000
mikyi{KZK}: i personally feel that if One is honest to begin with about how many They will play with.. and if they play to let the others know... then i find nothing wrong with that.. as long as the One in charge.. can have time for each of the missives
Wed Feb 9 7:18:43 2000
~Cyberotica-Chrysalis~: okay Wolf ~ but then that was agreed to yes? So that is a choice not deception
Wed Feb 9 7:19:56 2000
TheConfessor: But if the Dom/me or sub(s) are BI?
Wed Feb 9 7:19:58 2000
LES IS MORE(m): CC in that mono mono thing I am not. I know those that are and fully intend to remain mono that is their choice and any disrespecting that is a fool.
Wed Feb 9 7:20:29 2000
~Cyberotica-Chrysalis~: mikyi ~ not saying it is wrong . . . just question whether or not that a "True Dom" would only plow one field? ~ looking to LES IS MORE ~ Isn't that being just a tad strong?
Wed Feb 9 7:21:08 2000
mikyi{KZK}: Confessor.. as long as they are honest upfront.. then it shouldn't matter... why hide and try to be deceitful it is much easier to be open and honest
Wed Feb 9 7:22:02 2000
TheConfessor: Being new and an invited guest, I won't take offence to the "True Dom" part. *L*
Wed Feb 9 7:22:26 2000
LES IS MORE(m): smile never said a TRUE DOM would not plow just one field
saying that an honest one that is not is better then one that is not and lying to their "life" partner about it
Wed Feb 9 7:22:40 2000
mikyi{KZK}: CC *smiles* but.. Who is to say What or Who a True Dom is????
i know that i can usually pick a wanna be from the real thing.. but in this lifestyle...it is a matter of how One looks upon it.. there is no right or wrong.... in all honesty.. just different levels
Wed Feb 9 7:23:53 2000
LES IS MORE(m): Confessor the reason I refer to true DOM is not the difference from those playing at it to get lots of willing
Wed Feb 9 7:24:21 2000
Wolf: CC~ Yeah sure was. why cheat if theres no reason...just be open and honest about what each other wants
Wed Feb 9 7:24:59 2000
~Cyberotica-Chrysalis~: I have watched a few . . listened to more . . (no pun intended there *wink* and think that very many use the "lifestyle" to have a kick to a swinger lifestyle ... others very much a group ~ palamoryous relationship ... and as long as it is open ... and understood ... as well as accepted ... that is fine
however ... I would caution against some common things that would perhaps be misleading ...
for example ... a submissive has very jealous tendencies ...
or really in truth does not wish to share a Master/Mistress ...
is it right for a Master/Mistress to say . . hey . . once you are "really mine" it won't matter for all you will want to do is please me?
Wed Feb 9 7:25:03 2000
LES IS MORE(m): mikyi do not think levels is a good term
compartments in a three D puzzle is better
Wed Feb 9 7:27:15 2000
~Cyberotica-Chrysalis~: I think there is potential for "damage" when one cannot honestly look and say "this is what I want ~ how do you feel about it" (course there are others that say there isn't any use to ask a sub cause they do what you will)
Wed Feb 9 7:27:20 2000
LES IS MORE(m): CC cause there are so many different ways compartments and other thingies about this life style
that statement really mine is nonsense except in rare occasions
Wed Feb 9 7:28:42 2000
mikyi{KZK}: CC but that is the difference between missive and slave.. a missive has the right to question even stop something if they wish....no i don't think it is right for a Master/Mistress to say that to one ... but if They are honest up front that They may at some time wish to be with another.. then They should let it be known.. so that the missive can make the choice weither they wish to enter into that arrangement or not
Wed Feb 9 7:28:44 2000
TheConfessor: So there isn't a difference between v/t and r/t in this discussion?
Wed Feb 9 7:29:03 2000
~Cyberotica-Chrysalis~: true Dom ~ that is extremely subjective I think . . . for it is what is "right" for that person, couple, harem etc . . . *lil grin* styles range a lot on that . . . so many flavors!
Wed Feb 9 7:30:06 2000
LES IS MORE(m): CC I think there will always be some that enjoy shareing a DOM some that are jealous as a green lime but accept it
others that will never accept that way
it is each to their own and it falls on the DOM up front not to lie about being faithful
knowing if you will be or won't be is something a DOM should think about
Wed Feb 9 7:30:09 2000
mikyi{KZK}: aye Master More *G* i choose poorly in my words
Wed Feb 9 7:30:44 2000
TheConfessor: I think that if more Dom/mes AND sub/slaves would live T/their v/t as T/they would r/t, there would be ALOT less "players" and more REAL P/people online.
Wed Feb 9 7:30:51 2000
~Cyberotica-Chrysalis~: Confessor ~ personally the Dungeon here deals more w/ r/t issues . . . though many that are involved in v/t, or v/t r/t also join from time to time . . . there are many emotional levels (as you know) that can be met and very intense in vt as well as r/t
Wed Feb 9 7:30:59 2000
Wolf: CC~ it's not for every one .. after 15 years of being with one in a D/s relationship. Our trust in our relationship.and each other is not realy an issue anymore
Wed Feb 9 7:31:54 2000
LES IS MORE(m): CC it is all a state of MIND
if you are DOM S/switch sub
being TRUE is BEING TRUE as a sub S/switch DOM
Wed Feb 9 7:32:29 2000
TheConfessor: Bravo, Wolf!
Wed Feb 9 7:32:41 2000
~Cyberotica-Chrysalis~: Wolf ~ that is super . . but did that not take some time to build to that level? And how did you go about bringing others into your relationship . . and how did it effect it?
Wed Feb 9 7:33:59 2000
~Cyberotica-Chrysalis~: Agreed LES IS MORE . . . back to that "to thine own self be true" for w/o that how can one be honest w/another?
Wed Feb 9 7:34:31 2000
LES IS MORE(m): CC all too true
Wed Feb 9 7:34:54 2000
TheConfessor: CC, O/our case might be a bit different. I knew from the start that my wife was BI but we have only been into TOTAL D/s for a few months now (at least having a name for it). So, the idea of bringing another into our relationship wasn't anything new.
Wed Feb 9 7:36:19 2000
~Cyberotica-Chrysalis~: I see . . . *eyes twinkling* so often so many are "in the lifestyle" in some way . . just didn't know the words
Wed Feb 9 7:37:55 2000
LES IS MORE(m): I think that being true is MORE important then being vt rt whatever you will find that which suits you in a min or in years just like in a vanilla normal live style
some get very lucky some get hurt some are happy for years playing the field
I will say this I have noticed that FEM DOMS have MORE of a tendency to plow Many fields then the Male DOMs do
perhaps cause of the over abundance of male fields needing plowing
Wed Feb 9 7:38:35 2000
TheConfessor: Exactly! We just thought that we liked to fight alot. *LMAO* After really looking at ourselves and input from our other 1/3rd, we found out that we've been D/s all of our married life.
Wed Feb 9 7:39:26 2000
~Cyberotica-Chrysalis~: ~ casting a baleful glance in your direction ~
please . . . . I dare say there are many more "harems" than . . . well . . . . *laughing*
Wed Feb 9 7:39:54 2000
Wolf: my sub wanted to explore her bi tendencies..and Me My Voyeur
one. we found a friend and there ya go... it was a shake in the relationship at first. but all enjoyed. and no harm came of it. and it has been done a few other times.... I guess the Main thing is to be Honest... then trust is not an issue
Wed Feb 9 7:40:12 2000
LES IS MORE(m): Confessor Many a woman or man having the need to serve another finds it in the June Cleaver style of submission
Wed Feb 9 7:40:59 2000
~Cyberotica-Chrysalis~: good gracious . . . so many "nilla's" would be shocked if you suggested that they had a D/s relationship . . . but let's face it . . D/s is pretty much the norm in traditional relationships . . . leave out the S/M and . . . well . . . there is very much of the D/s
Wed Feb 9 7:41:46 2000
mikyi{KZK}: i first come to this lifestyle as i have come to see it.. when i stumbled into the Chamber... *thinking* 4 or 5 years back...
and i can honestly say that i was one that was lost in constant strife with my innerself... *looking to Master More* it was there that a True Dom.. took me under His wings.. and taught me what it was to be missive
Wed Feb 9 7:42:59 2000
LES IS MORE(m): CC there are a large number of males out there that wash the dishes, do the laundry, buy a gift, and other nice things for a woman regularly and often
often enough some other hubbys get annoyed with them
Wed Feb 9 7:43:55 2000
~Cyberotica-Chrysalis~: mikyi ~ so much is available out here . . so much that makes nothing more than BS out of BDSM . . . but there are also many things that are enlightening and worthy of the time
Wed Feb 9 7:44:39 2000
LES IS MORE(m): wink at mikyi
Wed Feb 9 7:44:48 2000
mikyi{KZK}: CC i would have to agree.. it takes time to shift thru what is out there to get to the true meaning of BDSM
Wed Feb 9 7:44:53 2000
~Cyberotica-Chrysalis~: ~ innocent look ~ you mean women are supposed to do dishes????? *look of abject horror*
AND do laundry?
Wed Feb 9 7:45:35 2000
LES IS MORE(m): CC you are a Brat
Wed Feb 9 7:45:49 2000
Wolf: CC~ that is true M'lady
Wed Feb 9 7:46:14 2000
~Cyberotica-Chrysalis~: I think that for many ~ at least at first ~ it may just be a desire to spice up one's sex life . . . and while that is all well and good . . . it does not (for me anyway) go to the core of what the lifestyle can be . . . but I also realize that not everyone takes it that "seriously"
Wed Feb 9 7:46:37 2000
mikyi{KZK}: winking at Master More
Wed Feb 9 7:47:03 2000
~Cyberotica-Chrysalis~: LES IS MORE . . . well if I am a "Brat" it is one that DOESN'T do dishes or laundry!
Wed Feb 9 7:48:24 2000
~*~entropy~*~: better late then never?
Wed Feb 9 7:49:42 2000
LES IS MORE(m): CC pick a way I know of about 10 -> 20 pick a number between 1 and 10 as to the intensity of that way and that is the compartment you fit in the problem is every one has leanings of each of the 10 -> 20 ways and intensities in each of the different ways
Wed Feb 9 7:50:01 2000
~Cyberotica-Chrysalis~: I personally "playing" with more than one person acceptable for myself . .that "playing" however is on a level that does not meet the definition of mating . . . . . .
Wed Feb 9 7:51:16 2000
~Cyberotica-Chrysalis~: and some you may find you like . . some not . . . personal choice *lil grin* would be to find another that at least like 5 of the 10 I do!
Wed Feb 9 7:51:30 2000
~*~entropy~*~: for me i am One person at a time for i could not get my "green-eyes" back into watch my Other do another ~but i do respect the ones that do~
Wed Feb 9 7:51:54 2000
LES IS MORE(m): CC
aww now you bring up the raising a family thingie into it after all that is what mating is for is it not unless it is done for childern is not really mating
Wed Feb 9 7:52:11 2000
fireshadow: but is it possible for a Domme to "play" with others and not get "too" attached?
Wed Feb 9 7:52:47 2000
mikyi{KZK}: *grins* but playing or scening does not have to be of a sexual nature... so if the "playing" is of that kind.. can it be considered to be as some would call it.. cheating?
Wed Feb 9 7:53:29 2000
~Cyberotica-Chrysalis~: ahh okay . . . *chuckling* okay okay . . it does not meet the definition of intercourse . . or fucking? how is that?
Wed Feb 9 7:54:10 2000
LES IS MORE(m):
fireshadow sure it depends on the DOM
some can, some can not
Wed Feb 9 7:54:22 2000
~Cyberotica-Chrysalis~: mikyi ~ if that is something one knows their partner would not like/approve of . . .what would you say?
Wed Feb 9 7:55:22 2000
fireshadow: i personally would love to help My Domme and prepare a new little one for Her to play with...i am just wondering if there is a line that could be crossed
Wed Feb 9 7:55:38 2000
mikyi{KZK}: if i knew that my Partner did not approve of it.. and it was something that i wanted.. i would sit with Him and discuss it and come up with the right answer together
Wed Feb 9 7:55:42 2000
LES IS MORE(m): CC aww that is just scratching an itch as a fav author would say
one hell of an itch but still and itch that needs to be scratched
Wed Feb 9 7:55:59 2000
~Cyberotica-Chrysalis~: imho ~ if one goes behind the back or is not forth coming in what is going on . . then I would say they have an issue w/ their conscience . . if that is so . . then it is a matter of their self-honesty as well as with their partner(s)
Wed Feb 9 7:56:42 2000
LES IS MORE(m): CC true
Wed Feb 9 7:57:02 2000
Wolf: seems to Me that People argue over Opinions. A ...D/s relationship is what the sub and Dom makes of it...... no rules or Guide lines to be met
to each their own....*S*
Wed Feb 9 7:57:41 2000
~Cyberotica-Chrysalis~: well ~ LES IS MORE ~ I have heard you on more than one occassion say the lifestyle is not all about sex . . . so why does there have to be an issue w/ multiples . . if that is indeed true?
Wed Feb 9 7:58:03 2000
~*~entropy~*~: But WOLF is there not to be an agreement concerning the issues? and due to "safe sex" feelings and emotions? on both parts?
Wed Feb 9 7:59:19 2000
LES IS MORE(m): Wolf for those meeting new people there needs be a few rules
like safe words prior negotiations
safe sex
but after a while safe words become knowege of each other negotiations are every day conversations and safe sex means not getting pg unless it is wanted
Wed Feb 9 7:59:20 2000
~Cyberotica-Chrysalis~: Wolf ~ WAY too often we let either our egos or morrays (sp) get in the way . . . we EXPECT others to be a certain way . . or uncomfortable if they are another way . . . .
Wed Feb 9 8:00:45 2000
mikyi{KZK}: *winking to Master More* i like Your definition of safe sex *L*
Wed Feb 9 8:00:48 2000
~*~entropy~*~: when i was in RT i made sure that it was me and my D or me and my sub no others for that was just me no i did help others "train" and show how to do this and that but it was never sexual well let's say there was never a organ between us unless it was my Master's or my sub's
Wed Feb 9 8:01:21 2000
~Cyberotica-Chrysalis~: let me pose another question . . .
IF a submissive does not feel that they can "share" their Master/Mistress . . . and their Master/Mistress brings in another to the relationship. . . Is he/she negating the value of his/her sub???
Wed Feb 9 8:01:38 2000
fireshadow: what would the discussion be about....in O/our relationship there is no day to day discussion of what i will or won't do or of what She can or can't do.....She has autonomy after O.our first negotiations of course...
Wed Feb 9 8:01:42 2000
Wolf: entropy~ Agreements.sure ... it is as I said ... the relationship.. is What the two parties combined make of it.............. it's not for others to sit and judge and say whats right or wrong.... what works for.... You and yours is what is right
Play Partners ~ Continued ~ Page 2 ~
Don't miss the link to snowy's journal of her journey
from v/t to r/t in a palamorous relationship!!
Mirror site: http://www.thebrc.net/
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