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Ahote's stomach lurched as he watched his friend leap from the cliff and execute a perfect dive into the water. The line moved up a bit, bringing Ahote closer to the edge of the cliff. The water was deep and any good cliff diver knew how to get far enough away from the cliff, but Ahote still didn't quite feel safe here. Ten cliff divers had dived to their deaths here, the distance they needed to safely clear the cliff misjudged. That was why this was the best place to dive: it was far more dangerous than any of the other cliffs. He was only three people back now. A thirteen turn old, the youngest of the divers, named Turilun, launched himself expertly off the cliff, soaring out a few feet before executing a flip and then sailing down to slice into the water with the barest of splashes, little more than a few ripples. There were cheers as he emerged from the water and swam to shore, but Turilun wasn't the center of attention for long. The best diver, Failel, was at the edge, arms crossed, waiting for the attention to shift to him. All was silent as he lept from the cliff - and didn't get far enough out. He knew it too, because he was screaming as he plummeted towards the foot of the cliff, hitting the water with an uncontrolled splash. Ahote and the other boys were immediatly at the edge, peering over as Turilun and a few others swam out to try and help Failel. As the dragged him to shore, it was horribly obvious to those watching on the cliff that he was dead. His neck was bent a way it shouldn't have and he had a gash in his head. Death Drop had claimed another victim. Without anyone saying anything, the diving was over for the day. Ahote was privately relived, he would have thought it would have been him and not Failel to die at Death Drop. Silently, the remaning divers hiked back down to the beach and Failel's mangled body. "Why Failel?" Ahote asked no one in particular. "He's one of the best." Tahatac shrugged. "Someone was bound to go. Anything could have gone wrong for any of us. That's why it's called Death Drop." "He was the best," Erisevv added. "It shouldn't have been him." Ahote stood with the other divers around Failel, everyone silent, each thinking of how easily it could have been them laying there, with everyone else standing around. There was a sort of brotherhood among the divers. Even the worst diver was braver and stronger than the average holder, and there was always the risk of dying. Whenever one boy died, it was a blow to the entire group. Because you never knew who was going to mess up and misjudge a distance or do a trick too late and hit the water hard. But it wasn't so much the dying as the problems that went along with dying that bothered Ahote. "So," he said quietly, "who's gonna tell his parents and Alarade?" "I'll tell his parents," Turilun volunteered. That brought a few raised eyebrows. Failel hadn't liked Turilun, mostly because he was so skilled at diving at so young an age. But no one wanted to do it, so that remained Turilun's job. "And I'll tell Alarade," Kirijo, who had known Failel since birth and probably before, added. Ahote nodded, and it was decided. He picked up Failel's arms and Kirijo picked up his legs. They walked out until they were arm deep in the cold, ocean water and then let the tide take Failel's body, as the water had taken his life. Ahote had a nagging feeling that he should have jumped, maybe died, that day. It bothered him into silence and kept him from eating during the evening meal. "Some thing wrong, Ahote?" his father asked as he speared a peice of meat and then pushed it off of his fork for the tenth time. Ahote looked up and gave his father a hollow grin. "Just that my stomach's a bit queasy. Failel died today, ya know. It could have been me." He heard his mother gasp. "Why do you insist on cliff diving?" she asked. "You know it's dangerous, you've had many friends die. And now Failel. He had so much potential." Ahote shrugged. "I don't know, actually. You just... you get this incredible rush from it. It's like flying for a moment or two. Right after you leap off and before you really start diving. You're flying." "Daddy said he could fly after he drank a lot one night!" Arlateema piped up with the tactfulness of a five turn old. "Do you drink a lot before you fly?" Atrelm chuckled nervously. Ahote's mother shot him a warning glance. "I'd have to have been drinking before I'd jump off a cliff," Laramette remarked, eyeing her sixteen-turn-old son suspicously. "No mother, we do not get drunk before we jump," Ahote sighed. "We're brave enough to do it without help." Laramette raised an eyebrow. "Brave? I'd call it just plain stupid." "I'm gonna go cliff diving when I'm big!" Arlateema declared, standing up in her seat and then jumping of, making splash sounds when she hit the floor. "Oh no you won't!" Laramette chided her daughter and then launched into one of the safety lectures she gave Ahote almost daily. Ahote tuned it out and eventually left out of boredom, he'd hear that lecture soon enough. Without knowing quite how he got there, Ahote found himself at the bottom of the path leading up to death drop. He walked up it, thinking of the conversation he'd had with Failel was they'd hiked it earlier that morning. "The harder the jump," Failel had been saying, "the more fun it is. It'd be no fun if it were safe. I like knowing that I could die if I don't get everything perfect." "I like safer jumps where you can do more tricks," Ahote had replied. "That's more fun to me." "It's all about the thrill," Failel had argued. "Where's the thrill if you know for sure that you're going to come out of it alive?" When he reached the top, Kirijo was standing at the edge of the cliff, eyes staring off into the darkening sky. "Can you believe he's gone?" Ahote asked, standing next to him. Kirijo turned dull eyes on his fellow diver. "Yeah. I've known Failel since forever. We always used to dream about being cliff divers. And now it killed him." "At least he died quickly," Ahote said after a few moments of silence. "Falling like that from Death Drop, death doesn't get much quicker or cleaner." "But he had to know," Kirijo's voice broke and he closed his eyes for a moment. "Did you hear him scream? Did you see the terror on his face? He knew he was going to die." Ahote noticed that Kirjo was moving closer to the edge of the cliff. "Hey, you're getting bit close to the edge," Ahote cautioned, putting a hand on his friend's arm. "So?" Kirijo asked, jerking his arm away. "If I keep diving, one cliff or another is going to get me eventually. And I can't stop diving. So why not let Death Drop get me like it got Failel?" "Don't even think of jumping!" Ahote snarled, grabbing Kirjo's arm and pulling him back from the edge. "You're not telling me you're suddenly afraid, are you?" "Look, you don't have any idea," Kirijo said and started towards the edge again. "Just don't get in my way, or Faranth help me I'll take you with me." "I'm not going to let you kill yourself because you're sharding afraid!" Ahote told him, easily tackling Kirijo and pinning him to the ground. Kirijo struggled to get out of Ahote's hold. "Let go of me!" he commanded. "I've got a right to die if I want to!" "Think about it for a while!" Ahote told him from behind clenched teeth. "Don't just kill yourself because you're sad! We don't want to lose two good divers!" Kirijo brought his knees up and into Ahote's stomach, breaking the younger boy's hold. He rolled away and, when he stood up, he belt knife had appeared in his hand. "If you try to stop me, I will take you with me." Ahote drew his own belt knife. He'd wrestled before, and was quite good at it. But he'd never had to fight with a knife before. Hopefully, he told himself, it wouldn't come to that. "I don't doubt it," he said quietly, automatically assuming a fighter's crouch. "I just think you need to wait a few days to decide if you really want to die." "I don't need to!" Kirijo snarled. "Just let me die, shardit! Why do you give a wherry's hind end about me anyway?" "Because you're my friend," Ahote answered levelly. "And you have plenty of other friends who would do the same. Failel, would have, if he'd been alive. We're all sad about it, but none of us are considering killing ourselves." "You don't understand!" Kirijo told him and took a step towards the edge. "You just don't understand!" Ahote tackled him again. "Yeah? Well tell me. Tell me why you're being so sharding stupid about this!" Kirijo snarled and broke Ahote's hold on him, jumping to his feet and grabbing the front of Ahote's shirt. "Look, it's nice of you to be concerned about me, but I've seen more of my friends go off a cliff and never come back than anyone else. Failel had seen more, but he's gone. It could have been me every one of those times. Do you have any idea how guilty that makes me feel?" Ahote noticed that Kirijo was standing on the edge of the cliff. If he didn't say something smart now, they'd both end up dead. "We all feel guilty, but you're the only one up here about to kill themself over it!" Kirijo opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted by the arrival of Ahote's father. "That's a dangerous place for an argument," he said in a quiet tone, giving each boy a calm yet deadly look. "Kirijo, let go of my son and move away from the ledge." Kirijo let go of Ahote's shirt, giving him a little shove, but did not move away from the ledge. "You can't tell me what to do." Atrelm raised an eyebrow. "Maybe not, but I can tell you that you need to get away from that ledge if you want to stay alive. You're too close." "Maybe that's where I want to be," Kirijo challenged and took a step closer to the edge. "And you're not my father! You can't tell me what to do." Ahote had learned all his considerable wrestling skills from his father, and Atrelm had been one of the best wrestlers in his youth. Kirijo obviously wasn't thinking about this and found himself once again on pinned to the ground, this time with Atrelm's knee in his back and his arms pulled back. "Come on Kirijo," Atrelm encouraged, not shifting his hold in spite of his gentle tone, "let's get you home." Kirijo bucked, forcing Atrelm to move. He made a break for the edge and jumped, making sure he didn't leap far enough out. Atrelm went after him, but it was too late. Ahote watched in horror as his father sailed of the cliff behind Kirijo and crashed into the water a second after the boy he had been trying to save. For a few moments, Ahote was in shock as he sat there, staring over the edge of the cliff. They had both been too close. Even the best diver couldn't have made it safely. The sensible part of his mind insisted this, but another part cried that his father could not possibly be dead. It was his fault, Ahote realized, and a wave of incredible guilt and self-loathing hit him. It had been his stupid idea to go to the cliff anyway, and it had been an even more stupid idea that had made him try to stop Kirijo. If he'd just let him jump, instead of interfering like the dimglow he was, Atrelm would still be alive. As he realized this, the tears began. He didn't know how long he sat on the deserted cliff, his father and friend dead below, crying for them. And for Failel. And for all the other divers, most of them dead before he began diving, who had ever lost their lives in such a tragic way. Once the hysterical tears gave way to sobs that racked his body and finally retreated, leaving a dull ache in his heart, Ahote was able to think about what to do next. He thought about following his father, but dismissed the idea quickly. That wouldn't solve anything. But there was no way he could return home. Gazing down one last time at his father and Kirijo, Ahote turned away from Death Drop, silently deciding never to go cliff diving again. Instead of taking the path he had used before, this time Ahote took the path towards the runner stables. He reached them quickly and was relieved to see that that only the stablemaster and a beast healer were there, examining a mare.  Ahote smiled a hello to them but didn't stop to talk, instead moving quickly down the stalls until he reached the one which his mare Kesevo was housed in. The little black mare whinnied her greeting and snuffled about Ahote's hands and pockets, looking for a treat.
"Sorry Kess," he chuckled as Kesevo gave him a slightly hurt look when she found no treats, "didn't have time to steal a lump of sweetner for you tonight." Kesevo tossed her head and neighed in a way Ahote could have sworn meant she didn't believe him. Ever since he'd seen Kesevo as a tiny filly two turns ago, barely broken, he'd been able to understand her in a way he'd never understood any other runner. "We've got to get out of here," he told her in a low voice, leaning against Kesevo's muscled side and stroking her mane absently. "I've got to get away, and there's no way I'm leaving you here." Pointed black ears swiveled to listen to him. Kesevo gave a little snort when he was finished explaining, as if the very idea of him going anywhere without her was unbelieveable. She allowed him to put her bridle and saddle on without a hint of the playful resistance she usually had and, within the space of a few minutes, they were thundering down the road away from the hold. Though he had only planned to be gone a short while, Ahote never returned to his home. Whenever he thought of it, the greif and guilt came back to him, and he pointed Kesevo in the opposite direction from home and fled the awful memories. Six turns after Atrelm's death, at the age of twenty-two, Ahote was still wandering from hold to hold... |