Dan is now near three. I often think, like we all do about the hospital stay. There was one sentence that I kept saying to myself, "This is it, it's me." I always look at people and think, "Thank God that's not me," and say I am sorry to them, all the while thinking, "Thank God it's not me."

This time it's me. How many are looking at me and saying, "Thank God it's her and NOT me," and it's me. I can't change it. No matter how hard Iwish, it's me this time. Noboby else .. me. I kept thinking that all the way through, while I was still pregnant and after
Daniel was born.

Three years ago I was in the hospital. Now I have a boy that runs and plays, and that I get cranky at. Then at night I think. I think, I remember. I remember how I almost lost that baby. Then, I hug my boy extra hard. I rub his head, as i did in the NICU, and I remember ...

I remember praying.
I remember crying.
I remember giving up hope; I remember having hope restored.
I remember my family's tears.
I remember coming home, with empty arms.
I remember taking my baby's blood.
I remember bringing him home!

I remember when I was in need of help, when my baby was not with me. I hope and pray I can be of help to anybody, at anytime, NO MATTER in what way.Then they will remember, and pass it on...