CHAPTER 18 – WHERE IS SHE?

“Nick! For god’s sake, let go of him!”

“No!”

Nick sobbed, burying his face in the crook of Brian’s neck, making it difficult for Howie to break Brian free. Howie was furious at Nick, upset that so much precious time had been wasted in order to try such a foolish strategy. He’d been positive it wouldn’t work, and now he’d be damned if he’d let another critical second pass by. Yanking harder, trying to separate the two, Howie screamed right in Nick’s face.

“Let go!! Let me help!”

Nick seemed to be in a world of his own, staring right through Howie, as he clutched tightly to Brian’s limp body. “I can do it,” he vowed fiercely. “I can!” He turned a tear-streaked face up at Howie, his blue eyes filling with a wild determination. “I can get Brian back! I just didn’t hit him hard enough!” Dropping Brian unceremoniously to the floor, Nick raised his hand for another blow.

Aghast, Howie was not fast enough to stop Nick’s blow, but managed to snake his hand in, deflecting the hit that was aimed for Brian’s already battered face. With a sold thump, Nick’s fist connected to the middle of Brian’s chest, the force causing Brian’s back to arch. A huge gasp exploded from Brian’s mouth, the air around them flooding with the rotting smell of decay. Repulsed, Nick, Howie, AJ, and Kevin reeled back from the foul odor. Brian arched his back up again, as if electrocuted, and then flopped back down, his pants mixing with painful moans as he fought to drag oxygen back into his starved lungs.

Nick forgot about the rancid smell and grabbed a hold of Brian, pulling him up to a sitting position. Tears streamed down Brian’s face as he desperately gasped for air, Nick’s own face was wet with joy as he thumped encouragingly on Brian’s back.

“Oh my god! Oh my god!” Nick chanted, his elation too great to contain. “That’s it. . . breathe! Breathe, Brian! Oh my god. . .” his voice cracked, overcome with emotion.

Howie stood there, stunned, not believing what he had just witnessed. By the looks on Kevin’s and AJ’s face, he was not alone.

It took a moment before all three were able to recover from their astonishment enough to help Nick and Brian up off the floor. Guiding Brian over to the side of the bed, they gently sat him down and watched as Brian’s face, colorless just a minute before, now turning a florid red, the result of a hacking cough that shook his frame.

A heavy pounding, a muffled cry of “911, emergency!” sounded from behind their hotel door, startling them all. Nick, Howie, Kevin and AJ looked each other, unsure what to do.

“Oh jeez, they’re gonna ask a million questions!” moaned Nick. “AJ! What are we going to do?!”

“Nick, hold on. I just said to 911 that Brian wasn’t breathing. Nothing else! Let’s all say that Brian was choking, okay?”

Nick agreed and hurried over to Brian, quickly warning him not to volunteer any information. Not that Brian would be able to. He was hunched over, still coughing, wiping away tears with the back of his hand.

With a satisfied nod from Nick, AJ ran over to let the paramedics in, explaining in the briefest of terms what had happened. All four Backstreet Boys exchanged guarded, nervous looks with each other as they stepped back to make room. Swiftly crowding around Brian, the EMTs barked instructions to each other as they broke open their emergency medical kits.

Unnerved by Brian’s close call with death, Nick stood as far away as he could from the commotion, wiping the sweat and tears away with the hem of his shirt. He gave a heavy sigh, wondering how the other guys were holding up. He glanced over and noticed that AJ was anxiously pacing back and forth, while Kevin stood stationary, his dark eyebrows furrowed in concern as he carefully watched the paramedics attend to Brian. Nick found Howie over in a corner, looking pissed, most likely ‘cause he had knocked him over. Oh well, he’d remember to apologize later about that.

As the medics began to take Brian’s vitals, Nick finally allowed himself to relax, grateful that the worst was now over. Nick shook his head, amazed that his best friend, at the very brink of death, had miraculously revived from a freak blow to the chest. Watching the medic check Brian’s pulse, Nick couldn’t figure out what had possessed him to think that striking Brian again would. . .

Oh, no! Nick sucked his breath in with a sharp hiss. Possessed! Stiffening in alarm, he glanced at his friend who was submitting quietly to the paramedic’s examination.

Brian’s alive! As in walking, talking alive! So, if Brian’s still here, she is too! In Brian! He shifted nervously from one foot to another. All it would take was one, just one accidental jab or sharp poke and those paramedics would be getting a front row seat of hell unleashed! Nick knew if that happened, they could pretty much kiss everything they had worked so hard for goodbye. Wondering what to do, he warily began to edge closer, trying subtly to catch Kevin’s eye to warn him. Either Kevin was ignoring him or didn’t see him, so Nick tried again. Nothing.

Great. Now what?

He looked over at AJ. AJ was still pacing the floor, his head bent down. Damn! Nick caught Howie’s attention, but gave up when Howie frowned menacingly at him. Jeez! What a sore head! So maybe he wouldn’t apologize. . .

Hearing the medics snap their kits closed, Nick swung his attention from Howie back to Brian and watched as the EMTs finished their paperwork, getting ready to leave. Nick breathed a sigh of relief, thankful that nothing had happened that might have landed them on the cover of the National Enquirer. So far, so good. Nick flashed a quick grin at Brian and then looked questioningly at the medics.

“Well, Mr. Littrell seems to be doing well, except for the obvious,” commented a paramedic, indicating with a wave of his hand at Brian’s beat-up face. “What happened?”

Nick cringed as an awkward silence grew. Hurry! Think! What can I say that won’t raise suspicion? Nick glanced at AJ for help, then looked past AJ, his eyes widening in surprise when he realized they had an audience. Their hotel room door was wide open, guests, maids, even one of their bodyguards peering in with curious expressions.

“Um, our fans. It was our fans.” Nick shrugged, hands on hips, trying to look bored. Yeah, that should work! It’s believable! Except that their bodyguard heard and rumbled out a surprised “what?”

Frowning, Nick hurried over and shut the door, but not before giving their bodyguard a sharp “don’t ask” look. He turned and smiled good-naturedly at the medics.

“Yeah, we got ambushed. You know how it is.” Nick waved his hand for emphasis, hoping he sounded nonchalant about it. “See?” He arched his neck for everyone to view the welt marks on his throat. “We were lucky to escape!” Nick gave a small laugh, ignoring the stares from the other guys. “Those back stairs sure saved us, right Brian?” Nick knew he was babbling, but no one seemed particularly eager to jump in and help, so he continued. “Yep, Bri and me, when are we gonna learn never to leave without our bodyguards?” He gave a goofy grin, wishing to hell the paramedics would just leave.

Kevin saw the light and stepped in. “Probably the same time you guys learn to stop those stupid dares! I mean, a contest of who can eat a candy bar the fastest? Come on! Thank God Howie knew the Heimlich maneuver, otherwise we’d be going to a funeral instead of a concert!”

Nick was glad for Kevin’s sudden support. He hung his head in fake embarrassment to complete the picture and prayed that their story was convincing enough.

The younger of the two medics paused for a moment, digesting the information. “Ahh. . . well, for what Mr. Littrell has been through. . . he sure is lucky.” Kevin and Nick nodded enthusiastically in agreement. “Yes, medically, Mr. Littrell looks good, but, for safety sake, I would advise staying at the hospital overnight for observation.”

All five Backstreet boys froze at the recommendation.

Brian managed to find his voice. “Observation? Ah, is that really necessary?” He could just imagine the horror if he “changed” right in the middle of a hospital and from the looks on the guys’ faces, he knew they were thinking exactly the same thing.

“No, no, it’s just a suggestion.” The older medic smiled slightly at his colleague, both amused by Brian’s relieved sigh. “So, I take it you’re not thrilled with hospitals?”

“You have no idea,” said Brian, dryly.

“Hmm. Well, remember, if you feel even the slightest bit dizzy or out of breath, I want you to call us or head straight for the hospital, okay?” The medic waited until Brian nodded that he understood before turning to leave. With a snap of his fingers, he spun around on his heel.

“Oh! By the way, which one of you is that Justin Timberlake guy?”

Kevin, AJ, Howie and Brian immediately pointed at Nick.

“Well, I just wanted to say, my daughter is really crazy about you.”

Nick gave him a tight smile. “Thanks.”

“Mind signing an autograph for her?”

“Sure, no problem,” Nick said stiffly. He ignored the faint snicker coming from AJ as he quickly scribbled on a piece of paper.

“Hey, thanks, man. Appreciate it. Melanie would’ve killed me if I didn’t get an autograph from her idol.”

“Uh, yeah.”

“I mean, she’s gone to every one of your concerts.”

“Really.”

“Yep. She’s thinks you’re so much better than. . . what’s his name?”

“Nick?” said AJ helpfully.

“Yeah, that’s the one!”

Nick struggled to keep a straight face. He knew how much AJ was dying for a reaction and he’d be damned if he was going to give it to him. He waited impatiently as the paramedic studied the signature before folding the scrap of paper and shoving into his back pocket. With a salute goodbye to the others, he gave Nick a quick “thanks again” before leaving with his partner.

Nick let out a growl of annoyance.

“Oh, Justin, you’re my hero!” came a high-pitched girly squeal.

“Justin, you’re way hotter than Nick!” proclaimed a panting voice.

Nick flipped AJ and Kevin off.

Ignoring the hoots of laughter, Nick went over to check on Brian, only to discover Brian trying not to smirk.

“Glad you think it’s funny.”

“Nick. . . ”

“So, how are you feeling?” Nick butted in, changing the subject.

“Besides used, bruised, and abused?” Brian touched his chest gingerly and grimaced. “Ouch. . . what happened?”

Incredulous, Nick forgot his own irritation and gaped openly at his friend. “You mean you don’t know?”

Brian gave a tired sigh. “Know what? Last thing I remember is taking those pills and then, all of a sudden, I’m coughing for air and paramedics are swarming around me!”

By the uneasy looks Nick, AJ, Howie and Kevin were exchanging, Brian knew that whatever happened had to be pretty grim. “What?” Brian reached for Nick’s arm, but Nick easily evaded his grab. “What??” he prodded, his voice rising in alarm. “Come on!” He gazed anxiously at each face, waiting for an answer. “Tell me!”

AJ jumped in, scared that the one thing they were trying to so hard to prevent might occur. “Brian, settle down! I’ll tell you, but you’ve got to stay calm, okay? Don’t panic!”

“AJ, I’m panicking right now! What happened?”

Hoping he was doing the right thing, AJ discarded his decision to sugarcoat the situation, and plunged ahead, explaining frankly to Brian about his near demise. Brian’s face changed from shock to despair and he finished listening to the rest of the story with his face buried in his hands.

Watching Brian react to the news, AJ cursed his bluntness. “Brian?” he asked quietly. “Brian?”

Brian was silent, his face still covered by his hands.

AJ shot Kevin an apprehensive look. With a dark frown, Kevin edged closer to his cousin, signaling for everyone to be careful. “Brian. . . hey, you feeling okay? Brian. . . look at me.”

Brian straightened up with a weak sigh, not noticing the relieved expressions on his friends’ faces when they found tired, but still very blue eyes. “What?” He rubbed at his forehead dejectedly, wincing as he came in contact with a tender bruise.

Kevin peered closely. “I asked if you feel, um. . . you know. . . normal.”

Brian recoiled back, confused by Kevin’s intense stare. He glanced at the others, and discovered Nick near the door, fidgeting with the handle. AJ was right next to him, while Howie stood a few feet away, his arms crossed across his chest as he cautiously watched.

He recognized immediately what Kevin was talking about. Jeez! He was really getting sick and tired of this! One minute the guys were friendly, supportive; the next, ready to desert him. He understood they were having a hard time handling all of this, but, shit, what about him? Something inside of Brian snapped and he felt his resolve beginning to crumble, his promise to remain calm, disintegrating. He rose awkwardly from the edge of the bed and ran a shaky hand through his sweat-damp hair.

“Oh, sure,” he drawled. “I’m fine. Perfect. Don’t I look great?”

Troubled, AJ took a step closer. “Brian, you. . .”

Brian cut him off. “I mean, damn, look at me! I’m rich! I’m famous!” Pacing back and forth, he waved his hands in the air. “I’m a Backstreet Boy! True, a Backstreet Boy who happens to be beaten, half-dead and possessed, but, hey, I guess I should learn to take the good with the bad, right?”

Nick and AJ’s eyes were wide with alarm at Brian’s sarcasm.

“Yeah, shit happens, doesn’t it?” Brian stopped his pacing, a bitter smile forming. “But, hell, it’s no big deal, especially when I can see that you’re so thrilled to help me.”

Kevin noticed Howie’s frown and he shrugged his shoulders in reply, not sure what to do with his cousin’s unexpected fury.

Brian could feel himself slipping, knew he was losing his self-control, but a fierce burn of desire to do just exactly that spurred him on.

“I’m sure I can get used to it! Being possessed, I mean. Y’all just have to work with me a little. . . you know, learning how to tie tighter knots so I can’t escape, maybe take some karate lessons for when I attack you. . . ”

“I think Brian’s lost it,” Nick muttered to AJ.

Brian heard him and walked quickly over to Nick, flashing a sickly-sweet smile. “Really? You think so?” Turning away, Brian wiped at the fine sheen of sweat that had sprung to his brow. His eye caught sight of the discarded baseball bat and he reached down to pick it up. Hefting it experimentally, he took a few slow, lazy swings.

Kevin, Nick, AJ, and Howie held their breaths.

“Yeah, it’s not like I need a normal life. . . ” Brian took perfect aim, and before anyone could react, smashed the closest lamp into a million pieces. “Or sleep. . . ” Another lamp was annihilated. “Or my sanity. . . ” Pieces of drywall showered the room, a large dent appearing in the wall.

“Fuck,” AJ breathed, shaking the dust from his hair. Nick was crouched, his hands covering his head. He straightened up and looked in awe at the large, gaping hole.

“Brian! Don’t! Stop it!” Howie’s sharp command caught Brian off guard, and he paused, giving Kevin that split second needed to sneak up from behind and wrap his arms tightly around Brian.

Brian exploded with a snarl, kicking his legs wildly, twisting, trying desperately to break free. Kevin held on for dear life, his muscles straining from the effort. Nick, Howie, and AJ looked on, listening as Brian spewed forth every obscenity known to man. Before anyone could figure out how to give Kevin a hand, Brian fell limp, relaxing into his cousin’s embrace. His exhaustion was evident and Kevin cautiously released his hold. Brian slumped to his knees, looking up at the amazed faces of the other guys.

“I’m. . . I’m sorry,” he gasped, and lowered his head, embarrassed.

“Brian. . . ” AJ was stunned. He gazed back at his friend in wonder.

“Sorry. . . ”

AJ quickly knelt before Brian, grabbing his shoulders. “Brian! Look at me! Look at me!”

Brian did as he was told, his eyes filled with uncertainty. “What?”

“Your eyes,” AJ whispered. “They’re still blue.”

Brian was too drained to understand. “So?”

AJ gazed up at the others, flashing a wicked smile of triumph before facing Brian again. “Brian. They’re still blue,” he emphasized. “You didn’t change into her.”

Brian frowned, shaken. “But. . . ”

“Oh my god,” said Nick. “AJ’s right!”

“Brian, listen! You totally lost it. Completely. But we didn’t see her! You didn’t change!” AJ looked for confirmation. “Right, guys?”

“Yeah!” nodded Nick. A flash of excitement crossed his face.

Brian tried to make some sense of it. “Wait! You. . . you think she’s gone?” There was a faint glimmer of hope in his question.

“Yes.”

“But how can you be so sure?”

AJ paused for a moment, thinking. Without replying, he reached up, took off one of his earrings and poked Brian in the arm with the sharp post.

“Ow! That hurt!”

AJ grinned. He poked the pointed end again against Brian’s upper arm.

“Ouch! AJ, you do that one more time and I swear I’m gonna kill you!”

“See?” AJ laughed. “No her! Hey everyone, he’s baacckk!” he sing-songed.

Brain’s heart was beating so fast, he felt light-headed. He watched in a daze, his mind swirling with questions as the others laughed and cheered in relief.

Dear god, could it be true? Could she really have left his body? But. . . how did she do it? And why?

And more importantly, where was she now?

******************************************************